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FANNY: |
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Listen, |
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I've got thirty-six expressions-- |
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Sweet as pie to tough as leather, |
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And that's six expressions more |
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Than all them Barrymores put together. |
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Instead of just kicking me |
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Why don't they give me a lift? |
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It must be a plot, |
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'Cause they're scared that I got |
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Such a gift--well, I'm miffed--'cause |
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I'm the greatest star-- |
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I am by far, but no one knows it! |
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Wait, they're gonna hear a voice, |
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A silver flute--ah hah, ah hah-- |
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They'll cheer each toot |
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(Yay! She's terrific!) |
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When I expose it! |
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Now, can't you see to look at me |
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That I'm a nach'ral Camille? |
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As Camille I just feel |
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I've so much to offer. |
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Kid, I know I'd be divine because |
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I'm a nach'ral cougher. |
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(coughs) |
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Some ain't got it--not a lump, |
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I'm a great big clump of talent! |
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Laugh! |
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They'll bend in half. |
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(Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?) |
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A thousand jokes: |
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Stick around for the jokes, |
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A thousand faces. I reiterate, |
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When you're gifted, |
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Then you're gifted, |
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These are facts--I got no axe to grind. |
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Hey, what are they--blind? |
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In all of the world so far |
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I'm the greatest star! |
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Who is the pip with piz-azz? |
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Who is all ginger and jazz? |
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Who is as glamorous as? |
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Who's an American Beauty rose |
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With an American Beauty nose, |
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And ten American Beaty toes, |
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Eyes on the target, and wham-- |
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One shot, one gun shot and bam! |
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Hey, Mr. Ziegfeld, here I am! |
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I'm the greatest star, |
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I am by far, |
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But no one knows it! |
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That's why I was born-- |
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I'll blow my horn |
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Till someone blows it! |
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I'll light up like a light |
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Right up like a light |
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I'll flicker, then flare up |
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All the world's gonna stare up |
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Lookin' down |
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You'll never see me-- |
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Try the sky, |
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'Cause that'll be me. |
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I can make 'em cry, |
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I can make 'em sigh, |
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Someday they'll clamor |
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For my dram-er. |
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Have you guessed yet, |
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Who's the best yet? |
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If you ain't I'll tell you one more time. |
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You bet your last dime |
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In all of the world so far |
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I'm the greatest, greatest star! |
