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It was just like a scene in an intrigue film |
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and I'm still not convinced that it wasn't for real. |
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It was just like a scene in an intrigue film |
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and I'm still not convinced that it wasn't for real. |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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This lucky day is mine, all mine. |
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This isn't intended for me, I don't think. |
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It's a missive from the edge of despair, I mean brink |
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of total desperation; the communication therein |
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says her hopes for survival are slim |
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and she's writing to the Front, though we've yet to meet, |
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with a confidential matter cause she's heard I'm discreet. |
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And the urgency of her request for my aid |
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is matched by the depth of the trust she displayed. |
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"Don't betray me like our oil minister did, staged a coup |
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and I'm about to flee Nigeria soon |
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but I'll never make it out," she says, with twenty million |
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three hundred twenty thousand U.S. dollars that are still in |
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her possession. She embezzled them, I guess. |
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Look, I don't really know her so uh... that's none of my business. |
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She's the LADY MARYAM ABACHA, deposed. |
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These days can't even get her caps-lock key unfroze |
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but yo, something 'bout a widow in distress |
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(with 20 million dollars hidden in a metal chest) |
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softened up the Frontalot's heart no doubt |
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so I hit the reply button, tell her I can help her out. |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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This lucky day is mine, all mine. |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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This lucky day is mine, all mine. |
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She writes me back: DEAR FRONTALOT, UNITED STATES... |
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She acts so thankful. A bank full of money awaits! |
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And I hate delays so I'm quick to turn around |
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with my full name and the number to my checking account |
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and the scan of my license to drive an automobile |
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and my passport number proving Frontalot's for real! |
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Then I'll meet the money in Stockholm, ain't gonna walk home, |
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think I'll retire to the south of Spain and sip gazpacho. |
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Not so quick, there's a little problem. |
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LADY A apparently had difficulty running all them |
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numbers I give her, but look, the fake ID's my only one |
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and that's a real passport, I got it off usenet and checked, |
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I'm not dumb. I'm not some idiot |
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who's about to lose your money for you, quicker than I'm getting it |
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and of course my bank balance is negative, whose isn't? |
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It's why I need your 20% money laundering commission. |
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And I'm wishing I could talk about this further with you but I can't. |
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I just got an email from DR. UBUGU of Chad. |
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He's got a hundred and seventy-seven million in a bag. |
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I feel I got to help him 'cause his story is so sad. |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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This lucky day is mine, all mine. |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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Got message number 4-1-9... |
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This lucky day is mine, all mine. |
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It was just like a scene in an intrigue film |
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and I'm still not convinced that it wasn't for real. |
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It was just like a scene in an intrigue film |
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and I'm still not convinced that it wasn't for real. |
