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[ti:] |
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[ar:] |
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[al:] |
[00:00.00] |
Ladies and gentlemen |
[00:02.89] |
Introducing, the penis song. |
[00:08.04] |
(oh no he didn't) |
[00:09.20] |
(Honk a dick) |
[00:09.63] |
This is my penis song |
[00:13.43] |
I wish that I had a bigger shlong |
[00:18.24] |
One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long |
[00:23.28] |
One of those porno king kong dongs |
[00:26.75] |
Check it out |
[00:29.12] |
I wish my dick was bigger, I can admit it |
[00:31.70] |
I'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digit |
[00:34.29] |
If I had a big ol' cock what would I do? |
[00:36.34] |
I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screw |
[00:38.87] |
Get buck naked and start streaking at my school |
[00:41.17] |
And get arrested but at least the girls would be impressed |
[00:43.57] |
With my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg and |
[00:46.02] |
Do a keg stand, get drunk and do the running man |
[00:48.51] |
With no clothes on just to show off |
[00:50.91] |
My dick's bigger than yours when mine is cold and soft |
[00:53.24] |
Haha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the cock that I have |
[00:57.76] |
I went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the package |
[01:00.27] |
And it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jackets |
[01:02.71] |
Trying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter," |
[01:05.20] |
Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards cause I mean |
[01:07.84] |
I know that god made us all different and special |
[01:09.65] |
But shit did he really have to invent lopsided testicles? |
[01:12.33] |
I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with like |
[01:16.97] |
Their left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your balls |
[01:23.27] |
I mean I don't know, I just hurt,I feel bad |
[01:26.08] |
This is my penis song |
[01:28.51] |
I wish that I had a bigger shlong |
[01:33.81] |
One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long |
[01:38.55] |
Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along |
[01:44.99] |
Yo ladies |
[01:46.64] |
Yeah? |
[01:47.10] |
Ladies! |
[01:47.98] |
Yeah? |
[01:48.32] |
Do you want a guy with an average dick? |
[01:49.96] |
Hell no |
[01:50.58] |
Then- wait you don't? |
[01:52.37] |
No you honkey dick |
[01:53.58] |
Okay that's cool, no that's fine |
[01:55.41] |
I promise, I'm so self conscious |
[01:57.64] |
That's why you never see me skinny dippin' in August |
[02:00.06] |
Always walkin' around with my hands in my pockets trying to pump blood into my guy Alfonso |
[02:04.85] |
I mean, goddamn I don't think you girls understand |
[02:07.15] |
I've had a complex since that song Short Short Man |
[02:09.53] |
And even though girls have told me that I'm big when I watch a porno I feel like a little kid |
[02:14.38] |
I mean, let's take Ron Jeremy |
[02:16.63] |
Now if a girl sees him she'll compare him to me |
[02:19.12] |
And every MC in hip hop has got a huge cock |
[02:21.47] |
Or at least talks about it in every song that they've got |
[02:23.88] |
I mean, shit |
[02:25.03] |
If I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My Dick |
[02:28.55] |
With interludes of all the girls that I'd been with |
[02:30.98] |
And talk about my package and multiple orgasms |
[02:33.43] |
'Cause all that I see is that size does matter |
[02:35.74] |
We got Enzite, penis pumps surgery to Viagra |
[02:38.35] |
But when it all adds up you can't really change it |
[02:40.67] |
I'm not a porno star I just gotta face it |
[02:43.10] |
You know, what can I do |
[02:44.83] |
This song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudes |
[02:48.63] |
So like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big dudes stop |
[02:51.64] |
This is my penis song |
[02:54.06] |
I wish that I had a bigger shlong |
[02:59.06] |
One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long |
[03:04.61] |
Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along |