小品:占位子

小品:占位子 歌词

歌曲 小品:占位子
歌手 沈腾
歌手 马丽
歌手 艾伦
歌手 常远
歌手 魏翔
专辑 2019年中央广播电视总台春节联欢晚会
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[00:09.310] 沈:今天是开学第一天,
[00:11.400] 沈:我儿子的座位,
[00:12.890] 沈:被老师分配在一个又远又偏的角落里,
[00:17.410] 沈:在我看,
[00:18.590] 沈:现在在班里的位置就决定着将来在社会上的位置,
[00:24.040] 沈:四点开家长会,
[00:25.590] 沈:我早早就过来了,
[00:27.290] 沈:我一定要趁其他家长来之前,
[00:29.850] 沈:把第一排最中间的位置,
[00:31.620] 沈:替我儿子拿下。
[00:43.210] 沈:看来还是来晚了。
[00:45.840] 马:都给我下去,
[00:47.300] 马:这个位置是我的。
[00:50.110] 常:疼,疼,头皮都给我薅起来了。
[00:54.070] 马:嫌疼就赶紧给我下去。
[00:56.350] 常:可不是我要跟你们争这座儿的,
[00:58.120] 常:是你一把给我薅过来的,
[00:59.480] 常:我就顺便坐会儿,
[01:01.100] 常:你要这么说我还就不动了。
[01:03.190] 艾:不行,你得动一动了,
[01:05.640] 艾:压得我嘴唇都紫了。
[01:08.520] 沈:大家好,我是郝建,
[01:10.790] 沈:我儿子也是咱们班的,叫郝贵。
[01:14.000] 马:你也是来抢座儿的吧!
[01:15.530] 沈:我可不是,
[01:16.720] 沈:瞧这薅这一地头发跟发廊似的,
[01:19.860] 沈:这有啥事,不能下来好好商量着说,
[01:21.960] 沈:来来来,下来说。
[01:27.920] 常:可算是来了一位和我一样有修养的家长。
[01:33.490] 常:哟,我这儿怎么少块儿头发呢?
[01:37.120] 马:是这撮吗?
[01:48.970] 常:你好,我是齐齐的父亲,齐刘海。
[01:52.500] 沈:你好,你好。
[01:55.290] 艾:你好,你好,我叫艾迪,我儿子叫爱迪生,
[02:00.730] 艾:我今年三十六了,本命年,明年就三十七了,
[02:04.350] 艾:你说这时间过得多快,弹指一挥间。
[02:07.090] 魏:你下去弹去。
[02:09.430] 艾:来,搭把手,哎,麻了。
[02:13.410] 沈:哥们儿,你没事吧!
[02:14.490] 魏:没事,我没事,初次见面,
[02:20.500] 魏:(跪下)请多关照。
[02:22.470] 沈:就这还没事呢,这腿都麻 成这样了。
[02:28.230] 沈:你说这是闹得……(坐下)
[02:29.060] 齐:起来。
[02:31.600] 沈:我这以为底下还一个人呢!
[02:33.400] 马:我可警告你,在大家伙儿没商量出结果之前,
[02:36.660] 马:这个位置谁都别坐。
[02:39.240] 沈:别坐,你就说别坐,是吧,
[02:41.220] 沈:你别,站,这啧咋的,谁知道啥呀这是,
[02:44.870] 沈:每个人情绪咋就这么波动呢?
[02:47.560] 艾:刚才老师来了一趟了,
[02:49.280] 艾:就因为占这个座儿吵起来了,
[02:51.570] 艾:老师说行,那你们自己先商量个解决办法吧,
[02:54.380] 艾:这不就摞一块了吗,就开始薅头发。
[02:56.760] 沈:就这么点事儿,我瞎说啊,
[03:00.230] 沈:纯属个人意见,
[03:01.660] 沈:我觉得咱没必要都死盯这一个座位,
[03:04.720] 沈:什么是最好,最适合自己的才是最好。
[03:08.290] 马:精辟,那你说我家孩子,
[03:10.850] 马:咋这么适合这个位置呢!
[03:13.660] 常:其实你现在坐那个位置就不错。
[03:16.510] 马:那我觉得你现在坐的那个位置也不错。
[03:19.150] 沈:那你俩要都觉得对面的位置不错,
[03:21.110] 沈:你俩换一下不就完了吗?
[03:23.310] 马:你咋听不出好赖话呢?
[03:25.550] 常:你说过好话吗?
[03:27.450] 沈:别吵,别吵,别吵,
[03:29.210] 沈:一说到位置,就说到我的专业了,
[03:32.390] 沈:我是做房屋中介的,
[03:36.270] 沈:来,请各位移步,
[03:38.280] 沈:我给大家介绍一下,这班里座位的特点。
[03:42.640] 沈:这个前面这一排啊,可以真正的算是是学霸区,啊。
[03:48.420] 沈:那中间这一片呢,叫休闲娱乐区,啊。
[03:52.770] 沈:最后一排啊,叫养老区,
[03:56.660] 沈:看到这把脚的座位没有,这是我儿子现在坐的位置,叫隔离区。
[04:02.690] 沈:咱家孩子坐哪?
[04:06.890] 常:我家孩子坐养老区。
[04:10.110] 常:其实我这人没有那么些事,
[04:12.020] 常:孩子坐哪都一样,关键是我家孩子近视,
[04:15.610] 常:300多度,哼(语气词),所以只能坐着第一位,哼(语气词)
[04:19.310] 艾:嘿,嘿,300多度就坐这儿,那我家孩子还400度呢。
[04:24.220] 常:我说的是左眼300,右眼1600。
[04:28.360] 艾:左眼300,右眼1600,
[04:30.900] 艾:走路她不跑偏吗她?
[04:33.380] 常:跑偏那,我俩上街,
[04:35.850] 常:经常是走着走着她就上主路了。
[04:38.990] 马:那你这心挺大啊,
[04:40.400] 马:还搁着儿抢座呢,
[04:41.820] 马:赶紧带孩子上医院抢救去吧,起来。
[04:44.960] 常:别怼我。
[04:45.830] 马:怼了。
[04:46.670] 常:别怼,别,
[04:47.410] 常:你要不用语言怼我,你要不用行动怼我,
[04:49.410] 常:你可一样怼。
[04:50.500] 马:双怼,怎么的?
[04:52.090] 沈:别吵,别吵。
[04:53.500] 常:不可理喻。
[04:54.420] 沈:来来来,兄弟坐着儿感受一下。
[04:56.150] 常:怎么了
[04:56.890] 沈:要想孩子学习成绩好,
[04:58.340] 沈:坐这儿肯定没有跑儿,
[05:01.100] 沈:这是学霸区最中心处的位置,可以叫它霸中霸。
[05:04.560] 魏:也可以说是学霸区的区长。
[05:07.650] 常:什么学霸不学霸的,
[05:08.800] 常:没有那么重要,但是区长可以啊
[05:14.150] 常:问题是人家家长愿不愿意跟我换这个座儿
[05:17.760] 艾:愿意,愿意,我孩子就坐这儿,随时调。
[05:21.860] 艾:反正我得让我孩子坐这儿,
[05:23.340] 艾:离老师越近越好。
[05:25.460] 沈:兄弟,咱家孩子就差着这么一排了。
[05:28.220] 艾:我孩子个儿矮
[05:29.620] 魏:你孩子个儿矮
[05:31.050] 艾:鞥,我孩子我跟你说,
[05:34.140] 艾:坐这儿他也就这么高,
[05:36.280] 艾:别说前面坐个人了,
[05:37.730] 艾:就这桌子都有点挡他视线。
[05:39.970] 魏:你站起来,站起来,
[05:44.720] 魏:你多高
[05:45.790] 艾:我187
[05:46.730] 魏:你媳妇呢
[05:47.740] 艾:一米九
[05:48.880] 魏:那是你家孩子吗?
[05:50.960] 艾:我家孩子发育慢,
[05:52.740] 艾:我和我媳妇这个个儿,
[05:53.700] 艾:也是去年才窜起来的
[05:55.080] 魏:可拉倒吧
[05:56.840] 沈:咱家孩子这基因肯定没问题,
[05:59.440] 沈:孩子为啥长的慢,
[06:00.580] 沈:那肯定是缺钙啊,
[06:01.530] 沈:怎么补钙快,晒太阳啊,
[06:03.890] 沈:来,哥们,来来来,坐着儿,
[06:07.910] 沈:感受一下,这阳光充足不
[06:11.300] 艾:嗯哼
[06:12.150] 沈:咱家孩子要坐这儿,
[06:13.130] 沈:那个儿肯定是天天往起窜,
[06:14.670] 沈:一天一个样儿
[06:16.330] 艾:诶,你还真别说,
[06:18.750] 艾:你就看我就跟着儿晒了这么一会,
[06:20.120] 艾:你看我这裤腿都一点短了,诶。
[06:24.070] 艾:不行了,不行了,
[06:24.670] 艾:我不能再晒了,再晒啊,
[06:27.260] 艾:我这个裤子就该变成裤衩了
[06:29.840] 魏:所以你家孩子坐那位置特别合适
[06:32.060] 艾:是不是
[06:32.610] 沈:没错吧
[06:33.280] 艾:行
[06:33.900] 沈:咱家孩子坐哪儿
[06:35.140] 魏:我没孩子
[06:37.250] 沈:你没孩子,那你过来复读来了
[06:40.740] 魏:不是,我是给我弟弟换座位来了
[06:43.730] 沈:你弟弟,多大啊
[06:46.210] 魏:八岁
[06:47.270] 沈:亲弟弟?
[06:48.140] 魏:亲弟弟
[06:49.130] 沈:那你多大啊
[06:50.140] 魏:五十三
[06:50.860] 沈:多少
[06:51.520] 魏:不是,不是,
[06:52.240] 魏:三十五,你都给我问懵了,
[06:54.190] 魏:这不前几年,我爸妈觉得我有点孤单,
[06:56.750] 魏:就给我要了个小弟弟
[06:59.840] 沈:这么大岁数了还能.....
[07:01.990] 沈:了不起啊,
[07:03.090] 沈:那我得祝二老寿比南山,再创辉煌
[07:07.320] 魏:他们,他们会的
[07:09.900] 沈:哎呀,这老来得子,
[07:11.400] 沈:那是咱们班的宝贝啊,
[07:12.780] 沈:那就坐这了,咱不动了
[07:14.540] 魏:坐这儿有什么好的呀
[07:16.380] 沈:夏天靠着墙凉快吧,
[07:18.320] 沈:冬天这有暖气,
[07:19.800] 沈:孩子脚要凉了,
[07:20.910] 沈:把鞋垫抽出来放这儿上面烤烤,
[07:23.130] 沈:是吧,饿了再烤个地瓜,多好啊
[07:25.540] 魏:拿不出串味了吗?
[07:27.570] 沈:也没让你把地瓜放鞋垫上烤啊,
[07:29.320] 沈:咱一样一样烤啊
[07:31.200] 魏:诶,有点道理啊
[07:32.390] 马:郝贵他爸,我替大家伙谢谢你啊,
[07:35.360] 马:你看帮大家找到了适合自己的位置,
[07:38.030] 马:那这个位置就是我们家的了
[07:42.060] 沈:你看你这人,
[07:43.140] 沈:我刚给大家安抚好,
[07:44.240] 沈:你又冒出来了,
[07:45.790] 沈:那你说,你家孩子啥问题
[07:48.500] 马:我家孩子最大的问题啊,
[07:50.460] 马:就是长得太漂亮了,
[07:52.930] 马:你说我姑娘长得那么漂亮,
[07:54.240] 马:你让他坐后面,
[07:55.610] 马:那上课的时候全班男同学都齐刷刷回头看她了,
[07:58.980] 马:谁还看老师啊
[08:00.560] 马:那不耽误人家前程吗?
[08:02.680] 马:耽误前程不说,
[08:04.440] 马:总这么回头,颈椎也受不了啊
[08:11.570] 沈:来来来来来,给我看看,
[08:13.970] 沈:孩子到底多漂亮
[08:15.840] 马:你看
[08:17.290] 沈:坐后面去
[08:18.930] 马:啥意思啊
[08:20.290] 沈:这都长成啥样了
[08:22.490] 马:呀,这是我小时候照片,
[08:26.830] 马:这是我姑娘的
[08:28.800] 沈:呀,长这么好看
[08:29.940] 马:漂亮吧
[08:31.040] 沈:那把孩子安排在这儿,
[08:31.810] 沈:不把孩子耽误了吗?
[08:33.650] 沈:这颜值这么高,
[08:34.380] 沈:应该座休闲娱乐区啊,
[08:36.520] 沈:提起适应适应,
[08:37.490] 沈:长大进娱乐圈,
[08:38.370] 沈:当大明星多好啊,
[08:40.480] 沈:在这儿跟他们挣啥啊,
[08:41.980] 沈:天天在老师眼皮子底下,
[08:43.850] 沈:在这儿看着,那多紧张啊,
[08:46.150] 沈:精神压力多大啊
[08:48.750] 马:这座儿,精神压力那么大呢
[08:50.600] 沈:那可不
[08:52.400] 马:那咱跟老师商量商量,
[08:54.110] 马:把这座撤了吧,放个绿植。
[08:59.160] 沈:放绿植也行,
[09:01.220] 沈:放我家孩子也行,
[09:03.590] 马:你不是说坐这儿压力大吗?
[09:05.390] 马:孩子不敢动
[09:07.190] 沈:孩子不敢动那是别的孩子,
[09:09.150] 沈:俺家孩子多动症
[09:11.230] 马:啊
[09:11.770] 沈:他克老师,
[09:12.800] 沈:他一天到晚浑身上下哪儿都动,
[09:14.730] 沈:他就脑子不动,
[09:16.760] 沈:压力要真要大,
[09:17.900] 沈:那就让他适应适应,
[09:19.300] 沈:啊,一个人扛起来
[09:20.820] 全体:诶,诶,诶
[09:22.130] 魏:你是不是忽悠我们呢
[09:23.580] 艾:不对啊,我说不上来,
[09:24.970] 艾:反正就感觉哪不对
[09:26.840] 马:小算盘打挺好啊,
[09:28.250] 马:说半天你想坐这儿,
[09:29.710] 马:你给我站起来
[09:31.290] 沈:别一惊一乍的
[09:33.030] 马:你知道我们家为了让孩子进这所学校付出多少吗?
[09:37.470] 马:家里别墅卖了,
[09:38.810] 马:换了个五十平的学区房。
[09:41.980] 马:那么好的事业也放弃了,
[09:44.350] 马:白天在家洗衣做饭,
[09:46.920] 马:晚上给孩子辅导功课,
[09:49.270] 马:半夜等孩子睡了,
[09:51.230] 马:还得上网做直播教肚皮舞,
[09:54.080] 马:你说,我老公容易吗?
[10:00.860] 沈:谁家容易啊?
[10:03.020] 沈:谁不想把最好的都给孩子,
[10:05.600] 沈:我一天打三份工,
[10:07.180] 沈:天天陪客户喝酒,
[10:08.440] 沈:一喝喝到后半夜,
[10:09.670] 沈:我一回家孩子早就睡着了,
[10:11.060] 沈:我一个月一个月见不着他,
[10:12.390] 沈:我容易,
[10:14.460] 沈:来,告诉我几点了?
[10:16.960] 沈:时针都没了,
[10:17.930] 沈:我都舍不得修,
[10:19.970] 沈:我一看表我就想起了那首歌,《时针都去哪儿了》
[10:27.370] 沈:看我这双鞋,
[10:29.100] 沈:我老丈人的,里面垫了六副鞋垫。
[10:32.110] 艾:显高啊。
[10:33.030] 沈:大。
[10:34.250] 艾:显高大。
[10:36.900] 沈:来看着这身西装,
[10:38.540] 沈:看着人模狗样的,掉色儿,
[10:45.850] 沈:白衬衫都染蓝了,
[10:47.830] 沈:我就不给大家展示我这两条大蓝腿了。
[10:51.450] 常:衬衫是不好洗,
[10:52.970] 常:但是腿可以勤洗洗。
[10:55.610] 沈:洗了,不但没洗掉,
[10:56.880] 沈:还染一手,有一天早上我孩子问他妈,
[10:59.740] 沈:说咱家沙发上趴着的那个蓝精灵是谁?
[11:05.290] 沈:谁家容易?
[11:08.370] 艾:可怜天下父母心,
[11:10.050] 艾:都是为了孩子。
[11:11.950] 魏:我是为了我兄弟,
[11:14.400] 魏:为兄弟两肋插刀。
[11:16.700] 马:要说不容易呀,
[11:18.030] 马:都不容易,
[11:19.770] 马:郝贵他爸,
[11:21.770] 马:把鞋穿上吧,
[11:24.170] 马:脚太臭了。
[11:25.910] 艾:确实啊,
[11:26.550] 艾:有点太臭了。
[11:27.570] (郝建手机响)
[11:30.250] 沈:喂,你好,开心麻花房屋中介,小郝,
[11:33.130] 沈:有什么可以为您效劳的?
[11:35.910] 沈:老师,老师我在班里呢,挑坐儿呢,
[11:44.910] 沈:对不起,老师,我糊涂了,
[11:49.820] 沈:对不起,老师我错了。
[11:53.990] 艾:完了,你看老师是不是生气了。
[12:04.790] 常:兄弟,老师跟你说什么了?
[12:09.430] 沈:跟老师通完话,我明白了,
[12:13.260] 沈:我走错班了。
[12:18.170] 马:你这爹是怎么当的呀?
[12:20.660] 马:孩子在哪个班不知道,
[12:21.960] 马:还在这儿抢座呢,
[12:23.260] 马:这是二年级一班。
[12:25.090] 沈:一班我知道,
[12:27.150] 沈:我是不知道他已经上三年级了。
[12:31.300] 魏:那你这真是有点可笑了。
[12:34.640] 沈:老师刚才也笑话我半天说,
[12:37.470] 沈:孩子几年级了你都不知道,
[12:38.950] 沈:还在那儿抢座儿呢,
[12:41.240] 沈:把什么都给孩子抢到最好的了,
[12:42.510] 沈:孩子就好了,
[12:45.170] 沈:孩子的教育不能光指望学校跟老师,
[12:48.660] 沈:家长的陪伴也很重要,
[12:52.450] 沈:一直觉着自己是个特别称职的父亲,
[12:57.180] 沈:现在想想劲儿都使歪了,
[13:01.530] 沈:座儿我不抢了,
[13:02.930] 沈:今儿早点儿回去陪孩子,
[13:04.620] 沈:各位,再见。
[13:15.240] 常:(打电话)儿子,
[13:16.600] 常:今天爸爸早点儿回家陪你好不好?
[13:19.100] 常:啊。不适应,
[13:21.710] 常:别这样,爸爸也不适应,
[13:24.740] 常:咱爷俩适应适应,不就适应了吗?
[13:27.880] 魏:(打电话)喂,小弟啊,
[13:29.460] 魏:你知道老师给你分那个座位在什么区吗?
[13:32.250] 魏:在养老区,对,视野挺好的,
[13:34.870] 魏:我觉得挺不错。
[13:37.150] 马:(打电话)喂,老公呀,
[13:38.680] 马:从今天开始我给孩子辅导功课,
[13:41.630] 马:你呢就专心教肚皮舞。
[13:45.590] 艾:(打电话)哎,媳妇,
[13:46.920] 艾:我问你个事儿,
[13:47.970] 艾:咱家孩子是二年一班吗?
[13:49.940] 艾:那就好,那就好。
[13:52.270] (祝孩子们茁壮成长)
[00:09.310] shen: jin tian shi kai xue di yi tian,
[00:11.400] shen: wo er zi de zuo wei,
[00:12.890] shen: bei lao shi fen pei zai yi ge you yuan you pian de jiao luo li,
[00:17.410] shen: zai wo kan,
[00:18.590] shen: xian zai zai ban li de wei zhi jiu jue ding zhe jiang lai zai she hui shang de wei zhi,
[00:24.040] shen: si dian kai jia zhang hui,
[00:25.590] shen: wo zao zao jiu guo lai le,
[00:27.290] shen: wo yi ding yao chen qi ta jia zhang lai zhi qian,
[00:29.850] shen: ba di yi pai zui zhong jian de wei zhi,
[00:31.620] shen: ti wo er zi na xia.
[00:43.210] shen: kan lai huan shi lai wan le.
[00:45.840] ma: dou gei wo xia qu,
[00:47.300] ma: zhe ge wei zhi shi wo de.
[00:50.110] chang: teng, teng, tou pi dou gei wo hao qi lai le.
[00:54.070] ma: xian teng jiu gan jin gei wo xia qu.
[00:56.350] chang: ke bu shi wo yao gen ni men zheng zhe zuo er de,
[00:58.120] chang: shi ni yi ba gei wo hao guo lai de,
[00:59.480] chang: wo jiu shun bian zuo hui er,
[01:01.100] chang: ni yao zhe me shuo wo hai jiu bu dong le.
[01:03.190] ai: bu xing, ni de dong yi dong le,
[01:05.640] ai: ya de wo zui chun dou zi le.
[01:08.520] shen: da jia hao, wo shi hao jian,
[01:10.790] shen: wo er zi ye shi zan men ban de, jiao hao gui.
[01:14.000] ma: ni ye shi lai qiang zuo er de ba!
[01:15.530] shen: wo ke bu shi,
[01:16.720] shen: qiao zhe hao zhe yi di tou fa gen fa lang shi de,
[01:19.860] shen: zhe you sha shi, bu neng xia lai hao hao shang liang zhe shuo,
[01:21.960] shen: lai lai lai, xia lai shuo.
[01:27.920] chang: ke suan shi lai le yi wei he wo yi yang you xiu yang de jia zhang.
[01:33.490] chang: yo, wo zhe er zen me shao kuai er tou fa ne?
[01:37.120] ma: shi zhe cuo ma?
[01:48.970] chang: ni hao, wo shi qi qi de fu qin, qi liu hai.
[01:52.500] shen: ni hao, ni hao.
[01:55.290] ai: ni hao, ni hao, wo jiao ai di, wo er zi jiao ai di sheng,
[02:00.730] ai: wo jin nian san shi liu le, ben ming nian, ming nian jiu san shi qi le,
[02:04.350] ai: ni shuo zhe shi jian guo de duo kuai, tan zhi yi hui jian.
[02:07.090] wei: ni xia qu dan qu.
[02:09.430] ai: lai, da ba shou, ai, ma le.
[02:13.410] shen: ge men r, ni mei shi ba!
[02:14.490] wei: mei shi, wo mei shi, chu ci jian mian,
[02:20.500] wei: gui xia qing duo guan zhao.
[02:22.470] shen: jiu zhe hai mei shi ne, zhe tui dou ma cheng zhe yang le.
[02:28.230] shen: ni shuo zhe shi nao de zuo xia
[02:29.060] qi: qi lai.
[02:31.600] shen: wo zhe yi wei di xia hai yi ge ren ne!
[02:33.400] ma: wo ke jing gao ni, zai da jia huo er mei shang liang chu jie guo zhi qian,
[02:36.660] ma: zhe ge wei zhi shui dou bie zuo.
[02:39.240] shen: bie zuo, ni jiu shuo bie zuo, shi ba,
[02:41.220] shen: ni bie, zhan, zhe ze za de, shei zhi dao sha ya zhe shi,
[02:44.870] shen: mei ge ren qing xu za jiu zhe me bo dong ne?
[02:47.560] ai: gang cai lao shi lai le yi tang le,
[02:49.280] ai: jiu yin wei zhan zhe ge zuo er chao qi lai le,
[02:51.570] ai: lao shi shuo xing, na ni men zi ji xian shang liang ge jie jue ban fa ba,
[02:54.380] ai: zhe bu jiu luo yi kuai le ma, jiu kai shi hao tou fa.
[02:56.760] shen: jiu zhe me dian shi er, wo xia shuo a,
[03:00.230] shen: chun shu ge ren yi jian,
[03:01.660] shen: wo jue de zan mei bi yao dou si ding zhe yi ge zuo wei,
[03:04.720] shen: shen me shi zui hao, zui shi he zi ji de cai shi zui hao.
[03:08.290] ma: jing pi, na ni shuo wo jia hai zi,
[03:10.850] ma: za zhe me shi he zhe ge wei zhi ne!
[03:13.660] chang: qi shi ni xian zai zuo na ge wei zhi jiu bu cuo.
[03:16.510] ma: na wo jue de ni xian zai zuo de na ge wei zhi ye bu cuo.
[03:19.150] shen: na ni lia yao dou jue de dui mian di wei zhi bu cuo,
[03:21.110] shen: ni lia huan yi xia bu jiu wan le ma?
[03:23.310] ma: ni za ting bu chu hao lai hua ne?
[03:25.550] chang: ni shuo guo hao hua ma?
[03:27.450] shen: bie chao, bie chao, bie chao,
[03:29.210] shen: yi shuo dao wei zhi, jiu shuo dao wo de zhuan ye le,
[03:32.390] shen: wo shi zuo fang wu zhong jie de,
[03:36.270] shen: lai, qing ge wei yi bu,
[03:38.280] shen: wo gei da jia jie shao yi xia, zhe ban li zuo wei de te dian.
[03:42.640] shen: zhe ge qian mian zhe yi pai a, ke yi zhen zheng de suan shi shi xue ba qu, a.
[03:48.420] shen: na zhong jian zhe yi pian ne, jiao xiu xian yu le qu, a.
[03:52.770] shen: zui hou yi pai a, jiao yang lao ou,
[03:56.660] shen: kan dao zhe ba jiao de zuo wei mei you, zhe shi wo er zi xian zai zuo de wei zhi, jiao ge li qu.
[04:02.690] shen: za jia hai zi zuo na?
[04:06.890] chang: wo jia hai zi zuo yang lao ou.
[04:10.110] chang: qi shi wo zhe ren mei you na me xie shi,
[04:12.020] chang: hai zi zuo na dou yi yang, guan jian shi wo jia hai zi jin shi,
[04:15.610] chang: 300 duo du, heng yu qi ci, suo yi zhi neng zuo zhe di yi wei, heng yu qi ci
[04:19.310] ai: hei, hei, 300 duo du jiu zuo zhe er, na wo jia hai zi hai 400 du ne.
[04:24.220] chang: wo shuo de shi zuo yan 300, you yan 1600.
[04:28.360] ai: zuo yan 300, you yan 1600,
[04:30.900] ai: zou lu ta bu pao pian ma ta?
[04:33.380] chang: pao pian na, wo lia shang jie,
[04:35.850] chang: jing chang shi zou zhe zou zhe ta jiu shang zhu lu le.
[04:38.990] ma: na ni zhe xin ting da a,
[04:40.400] ma: hai ge zhe er qiang zuo ne,
[04:41.820] ma: gan jin dai hai zi shang yi yuan qiang jiu qu ba, qi lai.
[04:44.960] chang: bie dui wo.
[04:45.830] ma: dui le.
[04:46.670] chang: bie dui, bie,
[04:47.410] chang: ni yao bu yong yu yan dui wo, ni yao bu yong xing dong dui wo,
[04:49.410] chang: ni ke yi yang dui.
[04:50.500] ma: shuang dui, zen me de?
[04:52.090] shen: bie chao, bie chao.
[04:53.500] chang: bu ke li yu.
[04:54.420] shen: lai lai lai, xiong di zuo zhe er gan shou yi xia.
[04:56.150] chang: zen me le
[04:56.890] shen: yao xiang hai zi xue xi cheng ji hao,
[04:58.340] shen: zuo zhe er ken ding mei you pao er,
[05:01.100] shen: zhe shi xue ba qu zui zhong xin chu de wei zhi, ke yi jiao ta ba zhong ba.
[05:04.560] wei: ye ke yi shuo shi xue ba qu de qu zhang.
[05:07.650] chang: shen me xue ba bu xue ba de,
[05:08.800] chang: mei you na me zhong yao, dan shi qu zhang ke yi a
[05:14.150] chang: wen ti shi ren jia jia zhang yuan bu yuan yi gen wo huan zhe ge zuo er
[05:17.760] ai: yuan yi, yuan yi, wo hai zi jiu zuo zhe er, sui shi diao.
[05:21.860] ai: fan zheng wo de rang wo hai zi zuo zhe er,
[05:23.340] ai: li lao shi yue jin yue hao.
[05:25.460] shen: xiong di, za jia hai zi jiu cha zhe zhe me yi pai le.
[05:28.220] ai: wo hai zi ge er ai
[05:29.620] wei: ni hai zi ge er ai
[05:31.050] ai: eng, wo hai zi wo gen ni shuo,
[05:34.140] ai: zuo zhe er ta ye jiu zhe me gao,
[05:36.280] ai: bie shuo qian mian zuo ge ren le,
[05:37.730] ai: jiu zhe zhuo zi dou you dian dang ta shi xian.
[05:39.970] wei: ni zhan qi lai, zhan qi lai,
[05:44.720] wei: ni duo gao
[05:45.790] ai: wo 187
[05:46.730] wei: ni xi fu ne
[05:47.740] ai: yi mi jiu
[05:48.880] wei: na shi ni jia hai zi ma?
[05:50.960] ai: wo jia hai zi fa yu man,
[05:52.740] ai: wo he wo xi fu zhe ge ge er,
[05:53.700] ai: ye shi qu nian cai cuan qi lai de
[05:55.080] wei: ke la dao ba
[05:56.840] shen: za jia hai zi zhe ji yin ken ding mei wen ti,
[05:59.440] shen: hai zi wei sha zhang de man,
[06:00.580] shen: na ken ding shi que gai a,
[06:01.530] shen: zen me bu gai kuai, shai tai yang a,
[06:03.890] shen: lai, ge men, lai lai lai, zuo zhe er,
[06:07.910] shen: gan shou yi xia, zhe yang guang chong zu bu
[06:11.300] ai: heng
[06:12.150] shen: za jia hai zi yao zuo zhe er,
[06:13.130] shen: na ge er ken ding shi tian tian wang qi cuan,
[06:14.670] shen: yi tian yi ge yang er
[06:16.330] ai: ei, ni hai zhen bie shuo,
[06:18.750] ai: ni jiu kan wo jiu gen zhe er shai le zhe me yi hui,
[06:20.120] ai: ni kan wo zhe ku tui dou yi dian duan le, ei.
[06:24.070] ai: bu xing le, bu xing le,
[06:24.670] ai: wo bu neng zai shai le, zai shai a,
[06:27.260] ai: wo zhe ge ku zi jiu gai bian cheng ku cha le
[06:29.840] wei: suo yi ni jia hai zi zuo na wei zhi te bie he shi
[06:32.060] ai: shi bu shi
[06:32.610] shen: mei cuo ba
[06:33.280] ai: xing
[06:33.900] shen: za jia hai zi zuo na er
[06:35.140] wei: wo mei hai zi
[06:37.250] shen: ni mei hai zi, na ni guo lai fu du lai le
[06:40.740] wei: bu shi, wo shi gei wo di di huan zuo wei lai le
[06:43.730] shen: ni di di, duo da a
[06:46.210] wei: ba sui
[06:47.270] shen: qin di di?
[06:48.140] wei: qin di di
[06:49.130] shen: na ni duo da a
[06:50.140] wei: wu shi san
[06:50.860] shen: duo shao
[06:51.520] wei: bu shi, bu shi,
[06:52.240] wei: san shi wu, ni dou gei wo wen meng le,
[06:54.190] wei: zhe bu qian ji nian, wo ba ma jue de wo you dian gu dan,
[06:56.750] wei: jiu gei wo yao le ge xiao di di
[06:59.840] shen: zhe me da sui shu le hai neng.....
[07:01.990] shen: liao bu qi a,
[07:03.090] shen: na wo de zhu er lao shou bi nan shan, zai chuang hui huang
[07:07.320] wei: ta men, ta men hui de
[07:09.900] shen: ai ya, zhe lao lai de zi,
[07:11.400] shen: na shi zan men ban de bao bei a,
[07:12.780] shen: na jiu zuo zhe le, zan bu dong le
[07:14.540] wei: zuo zhe er you shen me hao de ya
[07:16.380] shen: xia tian kao zhe qiang liang kuai ba,
[07:18.320] shen: dong tian zhe you nuan qi,
[07:19.800] shen: hai zi jiao yao liang le,
[07:20.910] shen: ba xie dian chou chu lai fang zhe er shang mian kao kao,
[07:23.130] shen: shi ba, e le zai kao ge di gua, duo hao a
[07:25.540] wei: na bu chu chuan wei le ma?
[07:27.570] shen: ye mei rang ni ba di gua fang xie dian shang kao a,
[07:29.320] shen: zan yi yang yi yang kao a
[07:31.200] wei: ei, you dian dao li a
[07:32.390] ma: hao gui ta ba, wo ti da jia huo xie xie ni a,
[07:35.360] ma: ni kan bang da jia zhao dao le shi he zi ji de wei zhi,
[07:38.030] ma: na zhe ge wei zhi jiu shi wo men jia de le
[07:42.060] shen: ni kan ni zhe ren,
[07:43.140] shen: wo gang gei da jia an fu hao,
[07:44.240] shen: ni you mao chu lai le,
[07:45.790] shen: na ni shuo, ni jia hai zi sha wen ti
[07:48.500] ma: wo jia hai zi zui da de wen ti a,
[07:50.460] ma: jiu shi zhang de tai piao liang le,
[07:52.930] ma: ni shuo wo gu niang zhang de na me piao liang,
[07:54.240] ma: ni rang ta zuo hou mian,
[07:55.610] ma: na shang ke de shi hou quan ban nan tong xue dou qi shua shua hui tou kan ta le,
[07:58.980] ma: shui hai kan lao shi a
[08:00.560] ma: na bu dan wu ren jia qian cheng ma?
[08:02.680] ma: dan wu qian cheng bu shuo,
[08:04.440] ma: zong zhe me hui tou, jing zhui ye shou bu liao a
[08:11.570] shen: lai lai lai lai lai, gei wo kan kan,
[08:13.970] shen: hai zi dao di duo piao liang
[08:15.840] ma: ni kan
[08:17.290] shen: zuo hou mian qu
[08:18.930] ma: sha yi si a
[08:20.290] shen: zhe dou chang cheng sha yang le
[08:22.490] ma: ya, zhe shi wo xiao shi hou zhao pian,
[08:26.830] ma: zhe shi wo gu niang de
[08:28.800] shen: ya, zhang zhe me hao kan
[08:29.940] ma: piao liang ba
[08:31.040] shen: na ba hai zi an pai zai zhe er,
[08:31.810] shen: bu ba hai zi dan wu le ma?
[08:33.650] shen: zhe yan zhi zhe me gao,
[08:34.380] shen: ying gai zuo xiu xian yu le qu a,
[08:36.520] shen: ti qi shi ying shi ying,
[08:37.490] shen: zhang da jin yu le quan,
[08:38.370] shen: dang da ming xing duo hao a,
[08:40.480] shen: zai zhe er gen ta men zheng sha a,
[08:41.980] shen: tian tian zai lao shi yan pi zi di xia,
[08:43.850] shen: zai zhe er kan zhe, na duo jin zhang a,
[08:46.150] shen: jing shen ya li duo da a
[08:48.750] ma: zhe zuo er, jing shen ya li na me da ne
[08:50.600] shen: na ke bu
[08:52.400] ma: na zan gen lao shi shang liang shang liang,
[08:54.110] ma: ba zhe zuo che le ba, fang ge lv zhi.
[08:59.160] shen: fang lv zhi ye xing,
[09:01.220] shen: fang wo jia hai zi ye xing,
[09:03.590] ma: ni bu shi shuo zuo zhe er ya li da ma?
[09:05.390] ma: hai zi bu gan dong
[09:07.190] shen: hai zi bu gan dong na shi bie de hai zi,
[09:09.150] shen: an jia hai zi duo dong zheng
[09:11.230] ma: a
[09:11.770] shen: ta ke lao shi,
[09:12.800] shen: ta yi tian dao wan hun shen shang xia na er dou dong,
[09:14.730] shen: ta jiu nao zi bu dong,
[09:16.760] shen: ya li yao zhen yao da,
[09:17.900] shen: na jiu rang ta shi ying shi ying,
[09:19.300] shen: a, yi ge ren kang qi lai
[09:20.820] quan ti: ei, ei, ei
[09:22.130] wei: ni shi bu shi hu you wo men ne
[09:23.580] ai: bu dui a, wo shuo bu shang lai,
[09:24.970] ai: fan zheng jiu gan jue na bu dui
[09:26.840] ma: xiao suan pan da ting hao a,
[09:28.250] ma: shuo ban tian ni xiang zuo zhe er,
[09:29.710] ma: ni gei wo zhan qi lai
[09:31.290] shen: bie yi jing yi zha de
[09:33.030] ma: ni zhi dao wo men jia wei le rang hai zi jin zhe suo xue xiao fu chu duo shao ma?
[09:37.470] ma: jia li bie shu mai le,
[09:38.810] ma: huan le ge wu shi ping de xue qu fang.
[09:41.980] ma: na me hao de shi ye ye fang qi le,
[09:44.350] ma: bai tian zai jia xi yi zuo fan,
[09:46.920] ma: wan shang gei hai zi fu dao gong ke,
[09:49.270] ma: ban ye deng hai zi shui le,
[09:51.230] ma: hai de shang wang zuo zhi bo jiao du pi wu,
[09:54.080] ma: ni shuo, wo lao gong rong yi ma?
[10:00.860] shen: shui jia rong yi a?
[10:03.020] shen: shui bu xiang ba zui hao de dou gei hai zi,
[10:05.600] shen: wo yi tian da san fen gong,
[10:07.180] shen: tian tian pei ke hu he jiu,
[10:08.440] shen: yi he he dao hou ban ye,
[10:09.670] shen: wo yi hui jia hai zi zao jiu shui zhao le,
[10:11.060] shen: wo yi ge yue yi ge yue jian bu zhao ta,
[10:12.390] shen: wo rong yi,
[10:14.460] shen: lai, gao su wo ji dian le?
[10:16.960] shen: shi zhen dou mei le,
[10:17.930] shen: wo dou she bu de xiu,
[10:19.970] shen: wo yi kan biao wo jiu xiang qi le na shou ge, shi zhen dou qu na er le
[10:27.370] shen: kan wo zhe shuang xie,
[10:29.100] shen: wo lao zhang ren de, li mian dian le liu fu xie dian.
[10:32.110] ai: xian gao a.
[10:33.030] shen: da.
[10:34.250] ai: xian gao da.
[10:36.900] shen: lai kan zhe zhe shen xi zhuang,
[10:38.540] shen: kan zhe ren mu gou yang de, diao shai er,
[10:45.850] shen: bai chen shan dou ran lan le,
[10:47.830] shen: wo jiu bu gei da jia zhan shi wo zhe liang tiao da lan tui le.
[10:51.450] chang: chen shan shi bu hao xi,
[10:52.970] chang: dan shi tui ke yi qin xi xi.
[10:55.610] shen: xi le, bu dan mei xi diao,
[10:56.880] shen: hai ran yi shou, you yi tian zao shang wo hai zi wen ta ma,
[10:59.740] shen: shuo za jia sha fa shang pa zhe de na ge lan jing ling shi shui?
[11:05.290] shen: shui jia rong yi?
[11:08.370] ai: ke lian tian xia fu mu xin,
[11:10.050] ai: dou shi wei le hai zi.
[11:11.950] wei: wo shi wei le wo xiong di,
[11:14.400] wei: wei xiong di liang lei cha dao.
[11:16.700] ma: yao shuo bu rong yi ya,
[11:18.030] ma: dou bu rong yi,
[11:19.770] ma: hao gui ta ba,
[11:21.770] ma: ba xie chuan shang ba,
[11:24.170] ma: jiao tai chou le.
[11:25.910] ai: que shi a,
[11:26.550] ai: you dian tai chou le.
[11:27.570] hao jian shou ji xiang
[11:30.250] shen: wei, ni hao, kai xin ma hua fang wu zhong jie, xiao hao,
[11:33.130] shen: you shen me ke yi wei nin xiao lao de?
[11:35.910] shen: lao shi, lao shi wo zai ban li ne, tiao zuo er ne,
[11:44.910] shen: dui bu qi, lao shi, wo hu tu le,
[11:49.820] shen: dui bu qi, lao shi wo cuo le.
[11:53.990] ai: wan le, ni kan lao shi shi bu shi sheng qi le.
[12:04.790] chang: xiong di, lao shi gen ni shuo shi mo le?
[12:09.430] shen: gen lao shi tong wan hua, wo ming bai le,
[12:13.260] shen: wo zou cuo ban le.
[12:18.170] ma: ni zhe die shi zen me dang de ya?
[12:20.660] ma: hai zi zai nei ge ban bu zhi dao,
[12:21.960] ma: hai zai zhe er qiang zuo ne,
[12:23.260] ma: zhe shi er nian ji yi ban.
[12:25.090] shen: yi ban wo zhi dao,
[12:27.150] shen: wo shi bu zhi dao ta yi jing shang san nian ji le.
[12:31.300] wei: na ni zhe zhen shi you dian ke xiao le.
[12:34.640] shen: lao shi gang cai ye xiao hua wo ban tian shuo,
[12:37.470] shen: hai zi ji nian ji le ni dou bu zhi dao,
[12:38.950] shen: hai zai na r qiang zuo er ne,
[12:41.240] shen: ba shen me dou gei hai zi qiang dao zui hao de le,
[12:42.510] shen: hai zi jiu hao le,
[12:45.170] shen: hai zi de jiao yu bu neng guang zhi wang xue xiao gen lao shi,
[12:48.660] shen: jia zhang de pei ban ye hen zhong yao,
[12:52.450] shen: yi zhi jue zhe zi ji shi ge te bie chen zhi de fu qin,
[12:57.180] shen: xian zai xiang xiang jin r dou shi wai le,
[13:01.530] shen: zuo er wo bu qiang le,
[13:02.930] shen: jin er zao dian er hui qu pei hai zi,
[13:04.620] shen: ge wei, zai jian.
[13:15.240] chang: da dian hua er zi,
[13:16.600] chang: jin tian ba ba zao dian er hui jia pei ni hao bu hao?
[13:19.100] chang: a. bu shi ying,
[13:21.710] chang: bie zhe yang, ba ba ye bu shi ying,
[13:24.740] chang: zan ye lia shi ying shi ying, bu jiu shi ying le ma?
[13:27.880] wei: da dian hua wei, xiao di a,
[13:29.460] wei: ni zhi dao lao shi gei ni fen na ge zuo wei zai shen me qu ma?
[13:32.250] wei: zai yang lao ou, dui, shi ye ting hao de,
[13:34.870] wei: wo jue de ting bu cuo.
[13:37.150] ma: da dian hua wei, lao gong ya,
[13:38.680] ma: cong jin tian kai shi wo gei hai zi fu dao gong ke,
[13:41.630] ma: ni ne jiu zhuan xin jiao du pi wu.
[13:45.590] ai: da dian hua ai, xi fu,
[13:46.920] ai: wo wen ni ge shi er,
[13:47.970] ai: za jia hai zi shi er nian yi ban ma?
[13:49.940] ai: na jiu hao, na jiu hao.
[13:52.270] zhu hai zi men zhuo zhuang cheng zhang
[00:09.310] shěn: jīn tiān shì kāi xué dì yì tiān,
[00:11.400] shěn: wǒ ér zi de zuò wèi,
[00:12.890] shěn: bèi lǎo shī fēn pèi zài yí gè yòu yuǎn yòu piān de jiǎo luò lǐ,
[00:17.410] shěn: zài wǒ kàn,
[00:18.590] shěn: xiàn zài zài bān lǐ de wèi zhì jiù jué dìng zhe jiāng lái zài shè huì shàng de wèi zhì,
[00:24.040] shěn: sì diǎn kāi jiā zhǎng huì,
[00:25.590] shěn: wǒ zǎo zǎo jiù guò lái le,
[00:27.290] shěn: wǒ yí dìng yào chèn qí tā jiā zhǎng lái zhī qián,
[00:29.850] shěn: bǎ dì yī pái zuì zhōng jiān de wèi zhì,
[00:31.620] shěn: tì wǒ ér zi ná xià.
[00:43.210] shěn: kàn lái huán shì lái wǎn le.
[00:45.840] mǎ: dōu gěi wǒ xià qù,
[00:47.300] mǎ: zhè gè wèi zhì shì wǒ de.
[00:50.110] cháng: téng, téng, tóu pí dōu gěi wǒ hāo qǐ lái le.
[00:54.070] mǎ: xián téng jiù gǎn jǐn gěi wǒ xià qù.
[00:56.350] cháng: kě bú shì wǒ yào gēn nǐ men zhēng zhè zuò ér de,
[00:58.120] cháng: shì nǐ yī bǎ gěi wǒ hāo guò lái de,
[00:59.480] cháng: wǒ jiù shùn biàn zuò huì ér,
[01:01.100] cháng: nǐ yào zhè me shuō wǒ hái jiù bù dòng le.
[01:03.190] ài: bù xíng, nǐ dé dòng yī dòng le,
[01:05.640] ài: yā dé wǒ zuǐ chún dōu zǐ le.
[01:08.520] shěn: dà jiā hǎo, wǒ shì hǎo jiàn,
[01:10.790] shěn: wǒ ér zi yě shì zán men bān de, jiào hǎo guì.
[01:14.000] mǎ: nǐ yě shì lái qiǎng zuò ér de ba!
[01:15.530] shěn: wǒ kě bú shì,
[01:16.720] shěn: qiáo zhè hāo zhè yī dì tóu fà gēn fà láng shì de,
[01:19.860] shěn: zhè yǒu shà shì, bù néng xià lái hǎo hǎo shāng liáng zhe shuō,
[01:21.960] shěn: lái lái lái, xià lái shuō.
[01:27.920] cháng: kě suàn shì lái le yī wèi hé wǒ yí yàng yǒu xiū yǎng de jiā zhǎng.
[01:33.490] cháng: yō, wǒ zhè ér zěn me shǎo kuài ér tóu fà ne?
[01:37.120] mǎ: shì zhè cuō ma?
[01:48.970] cháng: nǐ hǎo, wǒ shì qí qí de fù qīn, qí liú hǎi.
[01:52.500] shěn: nǐ hǎo, nǐ hǎo.
[01:55.290] ài: nǐ hǎo, nǐ hǎo, wǒ jiào ài dí, wǒ ér zi jiào ài dí shēng,
[02:00.730] ài: wǒ jīn nián sān shí liù le, běn mìng nián, míng nián jiù sān shí qī le,
[02:04.350] ài: nǐ shuō zhè shí jiān guò de duō kuài, tán zhǐ yī huī jiān.
[02:07.090] wèi: nǐ xià qù dàn qù.
[02:09.430] ài: lái, dā bǎ shǒu, āi, má le.
[02:13.410] shěn: gē men r, nǐ méi shì ba!
[02:14.490] wèi: méi shì, wǒ méi shì, chū cì jiàn miàn,
[02:20.500] wèi: guì xià qǐng duō guān zhào.
[02:22.470] shěn: jiù zhè hái méi shì ne, zhè tuǐ dōu má chéng zhè yàng le.
[02:28.230] shěn: nǐ shuō zhè shì nào dé zuò xià
[02:29.060] qí: qǐ lái.
[02:31.600] shěn: wǒ zhè yǐ wéi dǐ xià hái yí ge rén ne!
[02:33.400] mǎ: wǒ kě jǐng gào nǐ, zài dà jiā huo ér méi shāng liáng chū jié guǒ zhī qián,
[02:36.660] mǎ: zhè gè wèi zhì shuí dōu bié zuò.
[02:39.240] shěn: bié zuò, nǐ jiù shuō bié zuò, shì ba,
[02:41.220] shěn: nǐ bié, zhàn, zhè zé zǎ de, shéi zhī dào shà ya zhè shì,
[02:44.870] shěn: měi ge rén qíng xù zǎ jiù zhè me bō dòng ne?
[02:47.560] ài: gāng cái lǎo shī lái le yī tàng le,
[02:49.280] ài: jiù yīn wèi zhàn zhè gè zuò ér chǎo qǐ lái le,
[02:51.570] ài: lǎo shī shuō xíng, nà nǐ men zì jǐ xiān shāng liáng gè jiě jué bàn fǎ ba,
[02:54.380] ài: zhè bù jiù luò yí kuài le ma, jiù kāi shǐ hāo tóu fà.
[02:56.760] shěn: jiù zhè me diǎn shì ér, wǒ xiā shuō a,
[03:00.230] shěn: chún shǔ gè rén yì jiàn,
[03:01.660] shěn: wǒ jué de zán méi bì yào dōu sǐ dīng zhè yí gè zuò wèi,
[03:04.720] shěn: shén me shì zuì hǎo, zuì shì hé zì jǐ de cái shì zuì hǎo.
[03:08.290] mǎ: jīng pì, nà nǐ shuō wǒ jiā hái zi,
[03:10.850] mǎ: zǎ zhè me shì hé zhè gè wèi zhì ne!
[03:13.660] cháng: qí shí nǐ xiàn zài zuò nà gè wèi zhì jiù bù cuò.
[03:16.510] mǎ: nà wǒ jué de nǐ xiàn zài zuò de nà gè wèi zhì yě bù cuò.
[03:19.150] shěn: nà nǐ liǎ yào dōu jué de duì miàn dí wèi zhì bù cuò,
[03:21.110] shěn: nǐ liǎ huàn yī xià bù jiù wán le ma?
[03:23.310] mǎ: nǐ zǎ tīng bù chū hǎo lài huà ne?
[03:25.550] cháng: nǐ shuō guò hǎo huà ma?
[03:27.450] shěn: bié chǎo, bié chǎo, bié chǎo,
[03:29.210] shěn: yī shuō dào wèi zhì, jiù shuō dào wǒ de zhuān yè le,
[03:32.390] shěn: wǒ shì zuò fáng wū zhōng jiè de,
[03:36.270] shěn: lái, qǐng gè wèi yí bù,
[03:38.280] shěn: wǒ gěi dà jiā jiè shào yī xià, zhè bān lǐ zuò wèi de tè diǎn.
[03:42.640] shěn: zhè gè qián miàn zhè yī pái a, kě yǐ zhēn zhèng de suàn shì shì xué bà qū, a.
[03:48.420] shěn: nà zhōng jiān zhè yī piàn ne, jiào xiū xián yú lè qū, a.
[03:52.770] shěn: zuì hòu yī pái a, jiào yǎng lǎo ōu,
[03:56.660] shěn: kàn dào zhè bǎ jiǎo de zuò wèi méi yǒu, zhè shì wǒ ér zi xiàn zài zuò de wèi zhì, jiào gé lí qū.
[04:02.690] shěn: zá jiā hái zi zuò nǎ?
[04:06.890] cháng: wǒ jiā hái zi zuò yǎng lǎo ōu.
[04:10.110] cháng: qí shí wǒ zhè rén méi yǒu nà me xiē shì,
[04:12.020] cháng: hái zi zuò nǎ dōu yí yàng, guān jiàn shì wǒ jiā hái zi jìn shì,
[04:15.610] cháng: 300 duō dù, hēng yǔ qì cí, suǒ yǐ zhǐ néng zuò zhe dì yī wèi, hēng yǔ qì cí
[04:19.310] ài: hēi, hēi, 300 duō dù jiù zuò zhè ér, nà wǒ jiā hái zi hái 400 dù ne.
[04:24.220] cháng: wǒ shuō de shì zuǒ yǎn 300, yòu yǎn 1600.
[04:28.360] ài: zuǒ yǎn 300, yòu yǎn 1600,
[04:30.900] ài: zǒu lù tā bù pǎo piān ma tā?
[04:33.380] cháng: pǎo piān nà, wǒ liǎ shàng jiē,
[04:35.850] cháng: jīng cháng shì zǒu zhe zǒu zhe tā jiù shàng zhǔ lù le.
[04:38.990] mǎ: nà nǐ zhè xīn tǐng dà a,
[04:40.400] mǎ: hái gē zhe ér qiǎng zuò ne,
[04:41.820] mǎ: gǎn jǐn dài hái zi shàng yī yuàn qiǎng jiù qù ba, qǐ lái.
[04:44.960] cháng: bié duì wǒ.
[04:45.830] mǎ: duì le.
[04:46.670] cháng: bié duì, bié,
[04:47.410] cháng: nǐ yào bù yòng yǔ yán duì wǒ, nǐ yào bù yòng xíng dòng duì wǒ,
[04:49.410] cháng: nǐ kě yí yàng duì.
[04:50.500] mǎ: shuāng duì, zěn me de?
[04:52.090] shěn: bié chǎo, bié chǎo.
[04:53.500] cháng: bù kě lǐ yù.
[04:54.420] shěn: lái lái lái, xiōng dì zuò zhe ér gǎn shòu yī xià.
[04:56.150] cháng: zěn me le
[04:56.890] shěn: yào xiǎng hái zi xué xí chéng jī hǎo,
[04:58.340] shěn: zuò zhè ér kěn dìng méi yǒu pǎo ér,
[05:01.100] shěn: zhè shì xué bà qū zuì zhōng xīn chù de wèi zhì, kě yǐ jiào tā bà zhōng bà.
[05:04.560] wèi: yě kě yǐ shuō shì xué bà qū de qū zhǎng.
[05:07.650] cháng: shén me xué bà bù xué bà de,
[05:08.800] cháng: méi yǒu nà me zhòng yào, dàn shì qū zhǎng kě yǐ a
[05:14.150] cháng: wèn tí shì rén jiā jiā zhǎng yuàn bù yuàn yì gēn wǒ huàn zhè gè zuò ér
[05:17.760] ài: yuàn yì, yuàn yì, wǒ hái zi jiù zuò zhè ér, suí shí diào.
[05:21.860] ài: fǎn zhèng wǒ dé ràng wǒ hái zi zuò zhè ér,
[05:23.340] ài: lí lǎo shī yuè jìn yuè hǎo.
[05:25.460] shěn: xiōng dì, zá jiā hái zi jiù chà zhe zhè me yī pái le.
[05:28.220] ài: wǒ hái zi gè ér ǎi
[05:29.620] wèi: nǐ hái zi gè ér ǎi
[05:31.050] ài: ēng, wǒ hái zi wǒ gēn nǐ shuō,
[05:34.140] ài: zuò zhè ér tā yě jiù zhè me gāo,
[05:36.280] ài: bié shuō qián miàn zuò gè rén le,
[05:37.730] ài: jiù zhè zhuō zǐ dōu yǒu diǎn dǎng tā shì xiàn.
[05:39.970] wèi: nǐ zhàn qǐ lái, zhàn qǐ lái,
[05:44.720] wèi: nǐ duō gāo
[05:45.790] ài: wǒ 187
[05:46.730] wèi: nǐ xí fù ne
[05:47.740] ài: yī mǐ jiǔ
[05:48.880] wèi: nà shi nǐ jiā hái zi ma?
[05:50.960] ài: wǒ jiā hái zi fā yù màn,
[05:52.740] ài: wǒ hé wǒ xí fù zhè gè gè ér,
[05:53.700] ài: yě shì qù nián cái cuàn qǐ lái de
[05:55.080] wèi: kě lā dǎo ba
[05:56.840] shěn: zá jiā hái zi zhè jī yīn kěn dìng méi wèn tí,
[05:59.440] shěn: hái zi wèi shà zhǎng de màn,
[06:00.580] shěn: nà kěn dìng shì quē gài a,
[06:01.530] shěn: zěn me bǔ gài kuài, shài tài yáng a,
[06:03.890] shěn: lái, gē men, lái lái lái, zuò zhe ér,
[06:07.910] shěn: gǎn shòu yī xià, zhè yáng guāng chōng zú bù
[06:11.300] ài: hēng
[06:12.150] shěn: zá jiā hái zi yào zuò zhè ér,
[06:13.130] shěn: nà gè ér kěn dìng shì tiān tiān wǎng qǐ cuàn,
[06:14.670] shěn: yì tiān yī ge yàng ér
[06:16.330] ài: éi, nǐ hái zhēn bié shuō,
[06:18.750] ài: nǐ jiù kàn wǒ jiù gēn zhe ér shài le zhè me yī huì,
[06:20.120] ài: nǐ kàn wǒ zhè kù tuǐ dōu yì diǎn duǎn le, éi.
[06:24.070] ài: bù xíng le, bù xíng le,
[06:24.670] ài: wǒ bù néng zài shài le, zài shài a,
[06:27.260] ài: wǒ zhè gè kù zi jiù gāi biàn chéng kù chǎ le
[06:29.840] wèi: suǒ yǐ nǐ jiā hái zi zuò nà wèi zhì tè bié hé shì
[06:32.060] ài: shì bú shì
[06:32.610] shěn: méi cuò ba
[06:33.280] ài: xíng
[06:33.900] shěn: zá jiā hái zi zuò nǎ ér
[06:35.140] wèi: wǒ méi hái zi
[06:37.250] shěn: nǐ méi hái zi, nà nǐ guò lái fù dú lái le
[06:40.740] wèi: bú shì, wǒ shì gěi wǒ dì di huàn zuò wèi lái le
[06:43.730] shěn: nǐ dì di, duō dà a
[06:46.210] wèi: bā suì
[06:47.270] shěn: qīn dì di?
[06:48.140] wèi: qīn dì di
[06:49.130] shěn: nà nǐ duō dà a
[06:50.140] wèi: wǔ shí sān
[06:50.860] shěn: duō shǎo
[06:51.520] wèi: bú shì, bú shì,
[06:52.240] wèi: sān shí wǔ, nǐ dōu gěi wǒ wèn měng le,
[06:54.190] wèi: zhè bù qián jǐ nián, wǒ bà mā jué de wǒ yǒu diǎn gū dān,
[06:56.750] wèi: jiù gěi wǒ yào le gè xiǎo dì di
[06:59.840] shěn: zhè me dà suì shù le hái néng.....
[07:01.990] shěn: liǎo bù qǐ a,
[07:03.090] shěn: nà wǒ dé zhù èr lǎo shòu bǐ nán shān, zài chuàng huī huáng
[07:07.320] wèi: tā men, tā men huì de
[07:09.900] shěn: āi yā, zhè lǎo lái de zi,
[07:11.400] shěn: nà shi zán men bān de bǎo bèi a,
[07:12.780] shěn: nà jiù zuò zhè le, zán bù dòng le
[07:14.540] wèi: zuò zhè ér yǒu shén me hǎo de ya
[07:16.380] shěn: xià tiān kào zhe qiáng liáng kuài ba,
[07:18.320] shěn: dōng tiān zhè yǒu nuǎn qì,
[07:19.800] shěn: hái zi jiǎo yào liáng le,
[07:20.910] shěn: bǎ xié diàn chōu chū lái fàng zhè ér shàng miàn kǎo kǎo,
[07:23.130] shěn: shì ba, è le zài kǎo gè dì guā, duō hǎo a
[07:25.540] wèi: ná bù chū chuàn wèi le ma?
[07:27.570] shěn: yě méi ràng nǐ bǎ dì guā fàng xié diàn shàng kǎo a,
[07:29.320] shěn: zán yí yàng yí yàng kǎo a
[07:31.200] wèi: éi, yǒu diǎn dào lǐ a
[07:32.390] mǎ: hǎo guì tā bà, wǒ tì dà jiā huo xiè xiè nǐ a,
[07:35.360] mǎ: nǐ kàn bāng dà jiā zhǎo dào le shì hé zì jǐ de wèi zhì,
[07:38.030] mǎ: nà zhè gè wèi zhì jiù shì wǒ men jiā de le
[07:42.060] shěn: nǐ kàn nǐ zhè rén,
[07:43.140] shěn: wǒ gāng gěi dà jiā ān fǔ hǎo,
[07:44.240] shěn: nǐ yòu mào chū lái le,
[07:45.790] shěn: nà nǐ shuō, nǐ jiā hái zi shà wèn tí
[07:48.500] mǎ: wǒ jiā hái zi zuì dà de wèn tí a,
[07:50.460] mǎ: jiù shì zhǎng de tài piào liàng le,
[07:52.930] mǎ: nǐ shuō wǒ gū niáng zhǎng de nà me piào liàng,
[07:54.240] mǎ: nǐ ràng tā zuò hòu miàn,
[07:55.610] mǎ: nà shàng kè de shí hòu quán bān nán tóng xué dōu qí shuā shuā huí tóu kàn tā le,
[07:58.980] mǎ: shuí hái kàn lǎo shī a
[08:00.560] mǎ: nà bù dān wù rén jiā qián chéng ma?
[08:02.680] mǎ: dān wù qián chéng bù shuō,
[08:04.440] mǎ: zǒng zhè me huí tóu, jǐng zhuī yě shòu bù liǎo a
[08:11.570] shěn: lái lái lái lái lái, gěi wǒ kàn kàn,
[08:13.970] shěn: hái zi dào dǐ duō piào liàng
[08:15.840] mǎ: nǐ kàn
[08:17.290] shěn: zuò hòu miàn qù
[08:18.930] mǎ: shà yì sī a
[08:20.290] shěn: zhè dōu cháng chéng shà yàng le
[08:22.490] mǎ: ya, zhè shì wǒ xiǎo shí hòu zhào piān,
[08:26.830] mǎ: zhè shì wǒ gū niáng de
[08:28.800] shěn: ya, zhǎng zhè me hǎo kàn
[08:29.940] mǎ: piào liàng ba
[08:31.040] shěn: nà bǎ hái zǐ ān pái zài zhè ér,
[08:31.810] shěn: bù bǎ hái zi dān wù le ma?
[08:33.650] shěn: zhè yán zhí zhè me gāo,
[08:34.380] shěn: yīng gāi zuò xiū xián yú lè qū a,
[08:36.520] shěn: tí qǐ shì yìng shì yìng,
[08:37.490] shěn: zhǎng dà jìn yú lè quān,
[08:38.370] shěn: dāng dà míng xīng duō hǎo a,
[08:40.480] shěn: zài zhè ér gēn tā men zhēng shà a,
[08:41.980] shěn: tiān tiān zài lǎo shī yǎn pí zi dǐ xià,
[08:43.850] shěn: zài zhè ér kàn zhe, nà duō jǐn zhāng a,
[08:46.150] shěn: jīng shén yā lì duō dà a
[08:48.750] mǎ: zhè zuò ér, jīng shén yā lì nà me dà ne
[08:50.600] shěn: nà kě bù
[08:52.400] mǎ: nà zán gēn lǎo shī shāng liáng shāng liáng,
[08:54.110] mǎ: bǎ zhè zuò chè le ba, fàng gè lǜ zhí.
[08:59.160] shěn: fàng lǜ zhí yě xíng,
[09:01.220] shěn: fàng wǒ jiā hái zi yě xíng,
[09:03.590] mǎ: nǐ bú shì shuō zuò zhè ér yā lì dà ma?
[09:05.390] mǎ: hái zi bù gǎn dòng
[09:07.190] shěn: hái zi bù gǎn dòng nà shi bié de hái zi,
[09:09.150] shěn: ǎn jiā hái zi duō dòng zhèng
[09:11.230] mǎ: a
[09:11.770] shěn: tā kè lǎo shī,
[09:12.800] shěn: tā yì tiān dào wǎn hún shēn shàng xià nǎ ér dōu dòng,
[09:14.730] shěn: tā jiù nǎo zi bù dòng,
[09:16.760] shěn: yā lì yào zhēn yào dà,
[09:17.900] shěn: nà jiù ràng tā shì yìng shì yìng,
[09:19.300] shěn: a, yí ge rén káng qǐ lái
[09:20.820] quán tǐ: éi, éi, éi
[09:22.130] wèi: nǐ shì bú shì hū yōu wǒ men ne
[09:23.580] ài: bú duì a, wǒ shuō bù shàng lái,
[09:24.970] ài: fǎn zhèng jiù gǎn jué nǎ bú duì
[09:26.840] mǎ: xiǎo suàn pán dǎ tǐng hǎo a,
[09:28.250] mǎ: shuō bàn tiān nǐ xiǎng zuò zhè ér,
[09:29.710] mǎ: nǐ gěi wǒ zhàn qǐ lái
[09:31.290] shěn: bié yī jīng yī zhà de
[09:33.030] mǎ: nǐ zhī dào wǒ men jiā wèi le ràng hái zi jìn zhè suǒ xué xiào fù chū duō shǎo ma?
[09:37.470] mǎ: jiā lǐ bié shù mài le,
[09:38.810] mǎ: huàn le gè wǔ shí píng de xué qū fáng.
[09:41.980] mǎ: nà me hǎo de shì yè yě fàng qì le,
[09:44.350] mǎ: bái tiān zài jiā xǐ yī zuò fàn,
[09:46.920] mǎ: wǎn shàng gěi hái zi fǔ dǎo gōng kè,
[09:49.270] mǎ: bàn yè děng hái zi shuì le,
[09:51.230] mǎ: hái dé shàng wǎng zuò zhí bō jiào dù pí wǔ,
[09:54.080] mǎ: nǐ shuō, wǒ lǎo gōng róng yì ma?
[10:00.860] shěn: shuí jiā róng yì a?
[10:03.020] shěn: shuí bù xiǎng bǎ zuì hǎo de dōu gěi hái zi,
[10:05.600] shěn: wǒ yì tiān dǎ sān fèn gōng,
[10:07.180] shěn: tiān tiān péi kè hù hē jiǔ,
[10:08.440] shěn: yī hē hē dào hòu bàn yè,
[10:09.670] shěn: wǒ yī huí jiā hái zi zǎo jiù shuì zháo le,
[10:11.060] shěn: wǒ yí gè yuè yí gè yuè jiàn bù zháo tā,
[10:12.390] shěn: wǒ róng yì,
[10:14.460] shěn: lái, gào sù wǒ jǐ diǎn le?
[10:16.960] shěn: shí zhēn dōu méi le,
[10:17.930] shěn: wǒ dōu shě bù dé xiū,
[10:19.970] shěn: wǒ yī kàn biǎo wǒ jiù xiǎng qǐ le nà shǒu gē, shí zhēn dōu qù nǎ ér le
[10:27.370] shěn: kàn wǒ zhè shuāng xié,
[10:29.100] shěn: wǒ lǎo zhàng rén de, lǐ miàn diàn le liù fù xié diàn.
[10:32.110] ài: xiǎn gāo a.
[10:33.030] shěn: dà.
[10:34.250] ài: xiǎn gāo dà.
[10:36.900] shěn: lái kàn zhe zhè shēn xī zhuāng,
[10:38.540] shěn: kàn zhe rén mú gǒu yàng de, diào shǎi ér,
[10:45.850] shěn: bái chèn shān dōu rǎn lán le,
[10:47.830] shěn: wǒ jiù bù gěi dà jiā zhǎn shì wǒ zhè liǎng tiáo dà lán tuǐ le.
[10:51.450] cháng: chèn shān shì bù hǎo xǐ,
[10:52.970] cháng: dàn shì tuǐ kě yǐ qín xǐ xǐ.
[10:55.610] shěn: xǐ le, bù dàn méi xǐ diào,
[10:56.880] shěn: hái rǎn yī shǒu, yǒu yì tiān zǎo shàng wǒ hái zi wèn tā mā,
[10:59.740] shěn: shuō zá jiā shā fā shàng pā zhe de nà gè lán jīng líng shì shuí?
[11:05.290] shěn: shuí jiā róng yì?
[11:08.370] ài: kě lián tiān xià fù mǔ xīn,
[11:10.050] ài: dōu shì wèi le hái zi.
[11:11.950] wèi: wǒ shì wèi le wǒ xiōng dì,
[11:14.400] wèi: wèi xiōng dì liǎng lèi chā dāo.
[11:16.700] mǎ: yào shuō bù róng yì ya,
[11:18.030] mǎ: dōu bù róng yì,
[11:19.770] mǎ: hǎo guì tā bà,
[11:21.770] mǎ: bǎ xié chuān shang ba,
[11:24.170] mǎ: jiǎo tài chòu le.
[11:25.910] ài: què shí a,
[11:26.550] ài: yǒu diǎn tài chòu le.
[11:27.570] hǎo jiàn shǒu jī xiǎng
[11:30.250] shěn: wèi, nǐ hǎo, kāi xīn má huā fáng wū zhōng jiè, xiǎo hǎo,
[11:33.130] shěn: yǒu shén me kě yǐ wéi nín xiào láo de?
[11:35.910] shěn: lǎo shī, lǎo shī wǒ zài bān lǐ ne, tiāo zuò ér ne,
[11:44.910] shěn: duì bù qǐ, lǎo shī, wǒ hú tú le,
[11:49.820] shěn: duì bù qǐ, lǎo shī wǒ cuò le.
[11:53.990] ài: wán le, nǐ kàn lǎo shī shì bú shì shēng qì le.
[12:04.790] cháng: xiōng dì, lǎo shī gēn nǐ shuō shí mǒ le?
[12:09.430] shěn: gēn lǎo shī tōng wán huà, wǒ míng bái le,
[12:13.260] shěn: wǒ zǒu cuò bān le.
[12:18.170] mǎ: nǐ zhè diē shì zěn me dāng de ya?
[12:20.660] mǎ: hái zi zài něi gè bān bù zhī dào,
[12:21.960] mǎ: hái zài zhè ér qiǎng zuò ne,
[12:23.260] mǎ: zhè shì èr nián jí yī bān.
[12:25.090] shěn: yī bān wǒ zhī dào,
[12:27.150] shěn: wǒ shì bù zhī dào tā yǐ jīng shàng sān nián jí le.
[12:31.300] wèi: nà nǐ zhè zhēn shì yǒu diǎn kě xiào le.
[12:34.640] shěn: lǎo shī gāng cái yě xiào huà wǒ bàn tiān shuō,
[12:37.470] shěn: hái zi jǐ nián jí le nǐ dōu bù zhī dào,
[12:38.950] shěn: hái zài na r qiǎng zuò ér ne,
[12:41.240] shěn: bǎ shén me dōu gěi hái zi qiǎng dào zuì hǎo de le,
[12:42.510] shěn: hái zi jiù hǎo le,
[12:45.170] shěn: hái zi de jiào yù bù néng guāng zhǐ wàng xué xiào gēn lǎo shī,
[12:48.660] shěn: jiā zhǎng de péi bàn yě hěn zhòng yào,
[12:52.450] shěn: yī zhí jué zhe zì jǐ shì gè tè bié chèn zhí de fù qīn,
[12:57.180] shěn: xiàn zài xiǎng xiǎng jìn r dōu shǐ wāi le,
[13:01.530] shěn: zuò ér wǒ bù qiǎng le,
[13:02.930] shěn: jīn ér zǎo diǎn ér huí qù péi hái zi,
[13:04.620] shěn: gè wèi, zài jiàn.
[13:15.240] cháng: dǎ diàn huà ér zi,
[13:16.600] cháng: jīn tiān bà bà zǎo diǎn ér huí jiā péi nǐ hǎo bù hǎo?
[13:19.100] cháng: a. bù shì yìng,
[13:21.710] cháng: bié zhè yàng, bà bà yě bù shì yìng,
[13:24.740] cháng: zán yé liǎ shì yìng shì yìng, bù jiù shì yìng le ma?
[13:27.880] wèi: dǎ diàn huà wèi, xiǎo dì a,
[13:29.460] wèi: nǐ zhī dào lǎo shī gěi nǐ fēn nà gè zuò wèi zài shén me qū ma?
[13:32.250] wèi: zài yǎng lǎo ōu, duì, shì yě tǐng hǎo de,
[13:34.870] wèi: wǒ jué de tǐng bù cuò.
[13:37.150] mǎ: dǎ diàn huà wèi, lǎo gōng ya,
[13:38.680] mǎ: cóng jīn tiān kāi shǐ wǒ gěi hái zi fǔ dǎo gōng kè,
[13:41.630] mǎ: nǐ ne jiù zhuān xīn jiào dù pí wǔ.
[13:45.590] ài: dǎ diàn huà āi, xí fù,
[13:46.920] ài: wǒ wèn nǐ gè shì ér,
[13:47.970] ài: zá jiā hái zi shì èr nián yī bān ma?
[13:49.940] ài: nà jiù hǎo, nà jiù hǎo.
[13:52.270] zhù hái zi men zhuó zhuàng chéng zhǎng
小品:占位子 歌词
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