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I think everybody has fantasised what they would ask Elvis if he was still alive. I know what I would ask him: |
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"What's your favourite film?" |
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Jaws? Jaws 2? More Jaws? or Jaws rebooted? |
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Please, let's take a second to think about a future state of love and bliss |
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Brought to you by wish lists of eight year old boys who only crave explosions |
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Why? |
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Well, being eight, they have an excuse - they're eight! |
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And giant robots cannot distract them from their fate |
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Middle aged men on a movie date, committed to mortal shame |
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Hey! Relax! No-one died - in fact, they left improved! |
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If Michael Bay wants a bigger house, let's help him |
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Art? Ha! |
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Where you from? |
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Where you been? |
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He said: |
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I went to Cannes once and and really did not have much fun |
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Why? |
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Well, being French, they talk too much |
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And all those pages of subtitles kept getting stuck |
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1 becomes 2, 2 becomes 3 |
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1 becomes 2, 2 becomes 3 |
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Pirates of the Caribbean 47 |
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Johnny Depp stars as the robot pirate who loses his wife in a game of poker |
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And tries to win her back with hilarious consequences |
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At least Harry Potter has a proper story in the sense that the characters crave an ending |
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If only to release poor Billy Corgan from his role as the titular character's nemesis |
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Robocop 4 is in pre-production, like Robocop 3 wasn't bad enough |
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And George Lucas won't be kicking his heels 'til he makes some money from Howard the Duck |
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Robocop 4 is in pre-production, like Robocop 3 wasn't bad enough |
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I hope the projectionist likes his action motion-tracked and medicated |
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The first director died |