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If I recall correctly |
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It was the middle of spring |
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Walkin' with my boys |
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Contemplating what summer will bring |
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We started talkin' about girls |
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And it was the funniest thing |
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As I started remembering some of my funniest flings |
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See there was Ashley |
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She caught my eye the very second that she passed me |
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I kissed her once |
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Then she started to harass me |
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She called all night long |
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I had to buy a brand new phone |
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And let me see |
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There was Melanie |
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To have a mouth like that should be a felony |
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Wouldn't believe half the shit that she was tellin' me |
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I mean dirty vocab |
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She used to talk like she was grown |
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And after that there was Tiffany |
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The one with the cute cousin |
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Are you kiddin' me? |
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She had a man |
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But that didn't mean shit to me |
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He tried to catch us all the time |
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But I was just too God damn smooth |
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And I can't forget to mention Carrie |
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But that situation quickly got scary |
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Cause after two days she's like "Let's get married" |
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Can you believe that shit? |
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I had to pack my bags and move! |
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They say I gotta change my evil ways |
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And I'm working hard at it every day but |
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No matter what I do |
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I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to |
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If love is just a game that people play |
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And practice make perfect is what they say |
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But no matter what I do |
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I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to |
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I'll always remember Monica |
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The Jewish chick |
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She'd always give me gifts for Hanukkah |
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To met her folks, she'd try and make me rock a yarmulke |
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But she looked so damn good |
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She almost made my ass convert |
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And after that there was Lisa |
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You know she had a twin sister, Teresa |
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I bumped into them at Cam's gettin' pizza |
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The greatest night of my life |
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Schlep's the rock that killed two birds |
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And there was Erica |
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She had the stankest breath in North America |
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I tried to slip her Tic-Tacs |
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But they were scared of her |
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And when we made out |
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I always had to plug my nose |
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And I suppose you know your sister |
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Chill, I swear my hand to God |
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I only kissed her |
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I gotta foot fetish |
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But she gotta lot a blisters |
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I mean, hammer-time feet |
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You think she had dead bugs for toes |
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They say I gotta change my evil ways |
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And I'm working hard at it every day but |
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No matter what I do |
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I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to |
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If love is just a game that people play |
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And practice make perfect is what they say |
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But no matter what I do |
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I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to |
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Yo Matt, remember Catherine? |
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She talked so much |
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I used to make her bring me aspirin |
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Blah, blah blah blah |
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I'm doin' fine thanks for askin' |
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I even tried to make a muzzle |
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But her mouth would just not quit |
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And oh shit |
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Remember Shawna |
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I hate to bring her up again |
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I didn't want her |
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That girl I talked about |
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In "That girl's a dog" song |
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Yea, the poster girl for Paxil |
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Almost made me lose my grip |
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And oh shit |
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There was Krystal |
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The meth head |
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She used to sniff like a fist full |
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One time she chased me down the street with a pistol |
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She tried to say I took her stash |
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She bugged out and tried to kill my ass |
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And at last we got Kimmy |
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She went abroad |
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Came back |
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And broke up with me |
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And so I ripped up all them letters that she sent me |
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I cried for like 3 days |
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Then it was back to my evil ways |
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They say I gotta change my evil ways |
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And I'm working hard at it every day but |
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No matter what I do |
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I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to |
|
If love is just a game that people play |
|
And practice make perfect is what they say |
|
But no matter what I do |
|
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to |
|
They say I gotta change my evil ways |
|
And I'm working hard at it every day but |
|
No matter what I do |
|
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to |
|
If love is just a game that people play |
|
And practice make perfect is what they say |
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But no matter what I do |
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I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to |
