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In the keep of GWAR, much torment remains |
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Despite all of the bodies hacked in twain |
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So many had died in the viscous campaign |
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That their femurs alone made a fine mountain |
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The Master was no longer GWARs sovereign |
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Of wealth and women they had none to gain |
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What goal was left for them to attain |
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So Oderus did call for conclave |
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First came Balsac, his council was wise |
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His War-Axe gleamed, he was a loyal knight |
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Plus 40 dancing bears he did provide |
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First in prowess, he stood his lord beside |
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Beefcake the Mighty, his ass was wide |
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Brought 80 laden oxen, he was a good ally |
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Jizmak the Gusha, his legion was described |
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For many hours he barked at the tribe |
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But then, timely, the catering arrived |
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Booze, drugs, food, 400 hundred mule-loads high |
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Flattus Maximus, this he did supply |
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And now the mighty brothers of GWAR did bind |
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They willed to journey and slay without plan |
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Bring seige and terror to the cities of man |
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Open Oberammergau |
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Like hell was a womb, it tore |
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And from the womb the creatures poured |
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Troll, goblin, Manticore |
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Siege machine and armored whore |
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There will be battle like never before |
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The Surface World learned of the malaise |
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Black Pope, usurper, he saw through the veil |
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They plan their defense in the land of the wasted |
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Africa, bitter fruit she had tasted |
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Ensign of industry, let it be raised |
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There the camp of the Black Pope was placed |
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His legions breath, through the valleys the raced |
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Charlots they rode, and their skulls were iron-plated |
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Belching fire, freshly painted |
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8000 Battalions of Knights freshly sainted |
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But before they fought, they were vaccinated |
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To protect them from the AIDS that had been created |
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To continue the reign of Black Pope unabated |
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The people at home, got a version G-rated |
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Here the GWAR invaded |
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Began the violation |
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The War Barges, forecastles swarming |
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Disgorging the troops, formations forming |
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The low drone of the horning |
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Sounding out a call, then a warning |
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A nuclear salvo where GWAR was encroaching |
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Within a second 10 legions were toasting |
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Balsac said, Did you feel something? The Lord was not boasting |
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The enemy is vast, steel carpets the terrain |
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Still they are forming, armor detrains |
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They send forth a Captain, OJ by name |
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Flattus struck him in the brain |
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Burst the helmet, made two parts of the mind |
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Chopped through his gorget, through chest, into spine |
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And the good captains blood flowed like wine |
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Flattus said, So ends a cowards time. |
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Balsac is angry, he'll have no more |
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He hurls his axe, with great effort |
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To smite Regis with terrible force |
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His shield breaks, his hauberk unsews |
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The axe bursts through the chest and torso |
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Bright blood spurts, the guts are loosed by the throw |
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And with that axe the soul from body goes |
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Said Jizmak, That was a heavy blow. |
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Beefcake the Mighty, clotted with spew |
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His sword falls, skulls burst in two |
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The eyes burst from sockets, he is not through |
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Thousands of warriors he does this to |
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Piling up the corpses of those he slew |
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Until it was hard to tell if the pile grew |
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Balsac said, He is a princely lord Said Beefcake, Yes, it's true. |
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Jizmak smites, his hammer whirls |
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Foreheads explode, entrails twirl |
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Breaking open brain-pans as well |
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Red blood flowing as souls speed to hell |
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Oderus smites the Black Pope, exposing his brain |
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The blade continued through meat and membrane |
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Bright blood flowed in the grass where he was lain |
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Here ends this tale, that much is plain |
