| [00:00.000] | 作词 : 凯玟桑/沙雕网友们 |
| [00:00.30] | 【开场】 |
| [00:00.88] | 喂，sara |
| [00:02.86] | 你在哪里啊？ |
| [00:03.39] | 电影马上就要开播了啊 |
| [00:04.04] | 我在门口，你人呢？ |
| [00:05.59] | 先生？ |
| [00:06.15] | 干什么？ |
| [00:06.76] | 游泳健身了解一下？ |
| [00:07.50] | 没空没空，要看电影啦 |
| [00:08.64] | 哦，先生，是这个样子的。 |
| [00:09.80] | 你是听不懂中文哦 |
| [00:10.65] | 【游泳健身了解一下】 |
| [00:11.11] | 先生你好（哦） |
| [00:11.64] | 请你不要着急 |
| [00:12.40] | 不会耽误你太多的时间 |
| [00:13.92] | 就问几个问题 |
| [00:14.68] | 3分钟 就好 |
| [00:16.01] | 给你介绍介绍 |
| [00:17.18] | 不是找你麻烦 |
| [00:18.24] | 是真的为你好 |
| [00:19.30] | （那你赶紧说啊） |
| [00:19.99] | 嗯 |
| [00:20.62] | 先生你的身高是？（一米八） |
| [00:21.63] | 先生你的体重是？（一百八） |
| [00:22.39] | 先生你期望的锻炼目标是？（让你赶快滚） |
| [00:23.98] | 哦 |
| [00:24.93] | 以前办过卡么？ （没有） |
| [00:26.01] | 先生你住附近么？（不是） |
| [00:27.02] | 你平常有锻炼么？（NO） |
| [00:28.42] | 原来如此 我明白了 |
| [00:30.74] | 你的情况 非常合适 |
| [00:32.75] | 器材齐全 私教专业 |
| [00:34.90] | 减肌增脂 适合你 |
| [00:37.03] | 现在刚好在特价 |
| [00:39.27] | 一年只要998 |
| [00:41.48] | 先生你考虑一下（考虑考虑 一下下） |
| [00:45.68] | （滚） |
| [00:46.38] | 【间奏】 |
| [00:48.29] | 阿斯 |
| [00:48.89] | 怎么会有这种人啊 |
| [00:50.11] | 真的是 |
| [00:51.02] | 弄得看个电影 |
| [00:52.13] | 一点都不开心 |
| [00:53.85] | 爆米花都没有买 |
| [00:55.75] | 看什么电影啊 |
| [00:56.53] | 今天 |
| [00:58.96] | 今天sara也没有来 |
| [00:59.99] | 啊 |
| [01:00.94] | 什么跟什么啊 |
| [01:02.48] | 哼 |
| [01:03.21] | 【美容美发】 |
| [01:04.05] | 欢迎光临 |
| [01:04.89] | 贵宾一位 里面请 |
| [01:05.74] | 美女剪头发？ |
| [01:06.91] | 还是做SPA？ |
| [01:08.37] | 68 88 888 |
| [01:10.13] | 你看那个价位适合你 |
| [01:11.58] | 现在办卡还送礼 |
| [01:12.78] | emmmmmm |
| [01:13.56] | 只是想要洗个头 |
| [01:14.79] | 因为还要和朋友 看电影 |
| [01:16.89] | Oh 没有问题 |
| [01:18.82] | Tony 老师刚好 |
| [01:19.91] | 在这里瞪着你（嗯？） |
| [01:21.58] | 原来如此 我明白了 |
| [01:23.86] | 你的情况 刚好符合 |
| [01:25.97] | 洗剪吹烫 接头染发 |
| [01:28.18] | 防脱护秃 适合您 |
| [01:30.23] | 现在刚好在特价 |
| [01:32.59] | 冲1000就送500 |
| [01:34.69] | 美女你考虑一下（办张卡你就办张卡 嘿） |
| [01:39.08] | ------ |
| [01:39.62] | 【衔接】 |
| [01:40.11] | 哇，sara你去哪里了啊 |
| [01:41.27] | 不是说好要一起看电影的吗 |
| [01:42.51] | 我今天郁闷死了 |
| [01:43.58] | 遇到一个人一直给我推销 |
| [01:45.19] | 哈? |
| [01:45.93] | 你也这样么？ |
| [01:46.88] | 你也？ |
| [01:47.78] | 我今天就去洗个头 |
| [01:49.51] | 然后就...就 |
| [01:50.81] | 不是吧 |
| [01:51.53] | 就办了一张卡 |
| [01:52.80] | 你也办了一张卡啊？ |
| [01:54.06] | 你也办了么？ |
| [01:55.05] | 洗澡卡... |
| [01:56.13] | 洗头卡... |
| [01:58.29] | 哎*2（echo） |
| [02:01.05] | 好无奈啊（为什么要办卡） |
| [02:05.66] | 浪费钱啊（这个月要吃泡面了） |
| [02:10.79] | 好嫌弃啊（我怎么那么笨啊） |
| [02:14.52] | ------ |
| [02:14.52] | 【推销员发疯】 |
| [02:14.52] | （狂笑） |
| [02:15.54] | 原来如此 刚好符合 |
| [02:17.96] | 接头染发 防脱护秃 |
| [02:20.13] | 器材齐全 私教专业 |
| [02:22.21] | 马上办卡 适合您 |
| [02:24.42] | 只有今天在特价（办卡 办卡） |
| [02:26.87] | 特别优惠送给你（办卡 办卡） |
| [02:28.75] | 快点办卡行不行（办卡 办卡） |
| [02:32.89] | [（办卡） |
| [02:33.42] | 早上好中午好晚上好 |
| [02:35.46] | 先生您好美女好 |
| [02:36.60] | 办张卡可好？ |
| [02:37.80] | 一张只要998 |
| [02:39.04] | 就算要我喊你爸 |
| [02:40.11] | 一张叫爸 |
| [02:40.99] | 两张叫爸爸 |
| [02:42.01] | 办张卡 办张卡 |
| [02:43.45] | 反正不会 过期 |
| [02:44.37] | 办张卡 办张卡 |
| [02:45.56] | 帮我冲个 业绩 |
| [02:46.68] | 办张卡 办张卡 |
| [02:47.78] | 不用很多 money |
| [02:48.74] | 办张卡 办张卡 |
| [02:49.95] | 就当是我 求你----------(口水) |
| [02:54.96] | 先生，办张卡吧！ |
| [02:57.04] | 滚x3 |
| [00:00.000] | zuo ci : kai wen sang sha diao wang you men |
| [00:00.30] | kai chang |
| [00:00.88] | wei, sara |
| [00:02.86] | ni zai na li a? |
| [00:03.39] | dian ying ma shang jiu yao kai bo le a |
| [00:04.04] | wo zai men kou, ni ren ne? |
| [00:05.59] | xian sheng? |
| [00:06.15] | gan shen me? |
| [00:06.76] | you yong jian shen liao jie yi xia? |
| [00:07.50] | mei kong mei kong, yao kan dian ying la |
| [00:08.64] | o, xian sheng, shi zhe ge yang zi de. |
| [00:09.80] | ni shi ting bu dong zhong wen o |
| [00:10.65] | you yong jian shen liao jie yi xia |
| [00:11.11] | xian sheng ni hao o |
| [00:11.64] | qing ni bu yao zhao ji |
| [00:12.40] | bu hui dan wu ni tai duo de shi jian |
| [00:13.92] | jiu wen ji ge wen ti |
| [00:14.68] | 3 fen zhong jiu hao |
| [00:16.01] | gei ni jie shao jie shao |
| [00:17.18] | bu shi zhao ni ma fan |
| [00:18.24] | shi zhen de wei ni hao |
| [00:19.30] | na ni gan jin shuo a |
| [00:19.99] | |
| [00:20.62] | xian sheng ni de shen gao shi? yi mi ba |
| [00:21.63] | xian sheng ni de ti zhong shi? yi bai ba |
| [00:22.39] | xian sheng ni qi wang de duan lian mu biao shi? rang ni gan kuai gun |
| [00:23.98] | o |
| [00:24.93] | yi qian ban guo ka me? mei you |
| [00:26.01] | xian sheng ni zhu fu jin me? bu shi |
| [00:27.02] | ni ping chang you duan lian me? NO |
| [00:28.42] | yuan lai ru ci wo ming bai le |
| [00:30.74] | ni de qing kuang fei chang he shi |
| [00:32.75] | qi cai qi quan si jiao zhuan ye |
| [00:34.90] | jian ji zeng zhi shi he ni |
| [00:37.03] | xian zai gang hao zai te jia |
| [00:39.27] | yi nian zhi yao 998 |
| [00:41.48] | xian sheng ni kao lv yi xia kao lv kao lv yi xia xia |
| [00:45.68] | gun |
| [00:46.38] | jian zou |
| [00:48.29] | a si |
| [00:48.89] | zen me hui you zhe zhong ren a |
| [00:50.11] | zhen de shi |
| [00:51.02] | nong de kan ge dian ying |
| [00:52.13] | yi dian dou bu kai xin |
| [00:53.85] | bao mi hua du mei you mai |
| [00:55.75] | kan shen me dian ying a |
| [00:56.53] | jin tian |
| [00:58.96] | jin tian sara ye mei you lai |
| [00:59.99] | a |
| [01:00.94] | shen me gen shen me a |
| [01:02.48] | heng |
| [01:03.21] | mei rong mei fa |
| [01:04.05] | huan ying guang lin |
| [01:04.89] | gui bin yi wei li mian qing |
| [01:05.74] | mei nv jian tou fa? |
| [01:06.91] | hai shi zuo SPA? |
| [01:08.37] | 68 88 888 |
| [01:10.13] | ni kan na ge jia wei shi he ni |
| [01:11.58] | xian zai ban ka hai song li |
| [01:12.78] | emmmmmm |
| [01:13.56] | zhi shi xiang yao xi ge tou |
| [01:14.79] | yin wei hai yao he peng you kan dian ying |
| [01:16.89] | Oh mei you wen ti |
| [01:18.82] | Tony lao shi gang hao |
| [01:19.91] | zai zhe li deng zhe ni ? |
| [01:21.58] | yuan lai ru ci wo ming bai le |
| [01:23.86] | ni de qing kuang gang hao fu he |
| [01:25.97] | xi jian chui tang jie tou ran fa |
| [01:28.18] | fang tuo hu tu shi he nin |
| [01:30.23] | xian zai gang hao zai te jia |
| [01:32.59] | chong 1000 jiu song 500 |
| [01:34.69] | mei nv ni kao lv yi xia ban zhang ka ni jiu ban zhang ka hei |
| [01:39.08] | |
| [01:39.62] | xian jie |
| [01:40.11] | wa, sara ni qu na li le a |
| [01:41.27] | bu shi shuo hao yao yi qi kan dian ying de ma |
| [01:42.51] | wo jin tian yu men si le |
| [01:43.58] | yu dao yi ge ren yi zhi gei wo tui xiao |
| [01:45.19] | ha? |
| [01:45.93] | ni ye zhe yang me? |
| [01:46.88] | ni ye? |
| [01:47.78] | wo jin tian jiu qu xi ge tou |
| [01:49.51] | ran hou jiu... jiu |
| [01:50.81] | bu shi ba |
| [01:51.53] | jiu ban le yi zhang ka |
| [01:52.80] | ni ye ban le yi zhang ka a? |
| [01:54.06] | ni ye ban le me? |
| [01:55.05] | xi zao ka... |
| [01:56.13] | xi tou ka... |
| [01:58.29] | ai 2 echo |
| [02:01.05] | hao wu nai a wei shi me yao ban ka |
| [02:05.66] | lang fei qian a zhe ge yue yao chi pao mian le |
| [02:10.79] | hao xian qi a wo zen me na me ben a |
| [02:14.52] | |
| [02:14.52] | tui xiao yuan fa feng |
| [02:14.52] | kuang xiao |
| [02:15.54] | yuan lai ru ci gang hao fu he |
| [02:17.96] | jie tou ran fa fang tuo hu tu |
| [02:20.13] | qi cai qi quan si jiao zhuan ye |
| [02:22.21] | ma shang ban ka shi he nin |
| [02:24.42] | zhi you jin tian zai te jia ban ka ban ka |
| [02:26.87] | te bie you hui song gei ni ban ka ban ka |
| [02:28.75] | kuai dian ban ka xing bu xing ban ka ban ka |
| [02:32.89] | ban ka |
| [02:33.42] | zao shang hao zhong wu hao wan shang hao |
| [02:35.46] | xian sheng nin hao mei nv hao |
| [02:36.60] | ban zhang ka ke hao? |
| [02:37.80] | yi zhang zhi yao 998 |
| [02:39.04] | jiu suan yao wo han ni ba |
| [02:40.11] | yi zhang jiao ba |
| [02:40.99] | liang zhang jiao ba ba |
| [02:42.01] | ban zhang ka ban zhang ka |
| [02:43.45] | fan zheng bu hui guo qi |
| [02:44.37] | ban zhang ka ban zhang ka |
| [02:45.56] | bang wo chong ge ye ji |
| [02:46.68] | ban zhang ka ban zhang ka |
| [02:47.78] | bu yong hen duo money |
| [02:48.74] | ban zhang ka ban zhang ka |
| [02:49.95] | jiu dang shi wo qiu ni kou shui |
| [02:54.96] | xian sheng, ban zhang ka ba! |
| [02:57.04] | gun x3 |
| [00:00.000] | zuò cí : kǎi wén sāng shā diāo wǎng yǒu men |
| [00:00.30] | kāi chǎng |
| [00:00.88] | wèi, sara |
| [00:02.86] | nǐ zài nǎ lǐ a? |
| [00:03.39] | diàn yǐng mǎ shàng jiù yào kāi bō le a |
| [00:04.04] | wǒ zài mén kǒu, nǐ rén ne? |
| [00:05.59] | xiān shēng? |
| [00:06.15] | gàn shén me? |
| [00:06.76] | yóu yǒng jiàn shēn liǎo jiě yī xià? |
| [00:07.50] | méi kòng méi kòng, yào kàn diàn yǐng la |
| [00:08.64] | ó, xiān shēng, shì zhè gè yàng zi de. |
| [00:09.80] | nǐ shì tīng bù dǒng zhōng wén ó |
| [00:10.65] | yóu yǒng jiàn shēn liǎo jiě yī xià |
| [00:11.11] | xiān shēng nǐ hǎo ó |
| [00:11.64] | qǐng nǐ bú yào zháo jí |
| [00:12.40] | bú huì dān wù nǐ tài duō de shí jiān |
| [00:13.92] | jiù wèn jǐ gè wèn tí |
| [00:14.68] | 3 fēn zhōng jiù hǎo |
| [00:16.01] | gěi nǐ jiè shào jiè shào |
| [00:17.18] | bú shì zhǎo nǐ má fán |
| [00:18.24] | shì zhēn de wèi nǐ hǎo |
| [00:19.30] | nà nǐ gǎn jǐn shuō a |
| [00:19.99] | |
| [00:20.62] | xiān shēng nǐ de shēn gāo shì? yī mǐ bā |
| [00:21.63] | xiān shēng nǐ de tǐ zhòng shì? yī bǎi bā |
| [00:22.39] | xiān shēng nǐ qī wàng de duàn liàn mù biāo shì? ràng nǐ gǎn kuài gǔn |
| [00:23.98] | ó |
| [00:24.93] | yǐ qián bàn guò kǎ me? méi yǒu |
| [00:26.01] | xiān shēng nǐ zhù fù jìn me? bú shì |
| [00:27.02] | nǐ píng cháng yǒu duàn liàn me? NO |
| [00:28.42] | yuán lái rú cǐ wǒ míng bái le |
| [00:30.74] | nǐ de qíng kuàng fēi cháng hé shì |
| [00:32.75] | qì cái qí quán sī jiào zhuān yè |
| [00:34.90] | jiǎn jī zēng zhī shì hé nǐ |
| [00:37.03] | xiàn zài gāng hǎo zài tè jià |
| [00:39.27] | yī nián zhǐ yào 998 |
| [00:41.48] | xiān shēng nǐ kǎo lǜ yī xià kǎo lǜ kǎo lǜ yī xià xià |
| [00:45.68] | gǔn |
| [00:46.38] | jiàn zòu |
| [00:48.29] | ā sī |
| [00:48.89] | zěn me huì yǒu zhè zhǒng rén a |
| [00:50.11] | zhēn de shì |
| [00:51.02] | nòng dé kàn gè diàn yǐng |
| [00:52.13] | yì diǎn dōu bù kāi xīn |
| [00:53.85] | bào mǐ huā dū méi yǒu mǎi |
| [00:55.75] | kàn shén me diàn yǐng a |
| [00:56.53] | jīn tiān |
| [00:58.96] | jīn tiān sara yě méi yǒu lái |
| [00:59.99] | a |
| [01:00.94] | shén me gēn shén me a |
| [01:02.48] | hēng |
| [01:03.21] | měi róng měi fà |
| [01:04.05] | huān yíng guāng lín |
| [01:04.89] | guì bīn yī wèi lǐ miàn qǐng |
| [01:05.74] | měi nǚ jiǎn tóu fa? |
| [01:06.91] | hái shì zuò SPA? |
| [01:08.37] | 68 88 888 |
| [01:10.13] | nǐ kàn nà gè jià wèi shì hé nǐ |
| [01:11.58] | xiàn zài bàn kǎ hái sòng lǐ |
| [01:12.78] | emmmmmm |
| [01:13.56] | zhǐ shì xiǎng yào xǐ gè tóu |
| [01:14.79] | yīn wèi hái yào hé péng yǒu kàn diàn yǐng |
| [01:16.89] | Oh méi yǒu wèn tí |
| [01:18.82] | Tony lǎo shī gāng hǎo |
| [01:19.91] | zài zhè lǐ dèng zhe nǐ ? |
| [01:21.58] | yuán lái rú cǐ wǒ míng bái le |
| [01:23.86] | nǐ de qíng kuàng gāng hǎo fú hé |
| [01:25.97] | xǐ jiǎn chuī tàng jiē tóu rǎn fà |
| [01:28.18] | fáng tuō hù tū shì hé nín |
| [01:30.23] | xiàn zài gāng hǎo zài tè jià |
| [01:32.59] | chōng 1000 jiù sòng 500 |
| [01:34.69] | měi nǚ nǐ kǎo lǜ yī xià bàn zhāng kǎ nǐ jiù bàn zhāng kǎ hēi |
| [01:39.08] | |
| [01:39.62] | xián jiē |
| [01:40.11] | wa, sara nǐ qù nǎ lǐ le a |
| [01:41.27] | bú shì shuō hǎo yào yì qǐ kàn diàn yǐng de ma |
| [01:42.51] | wǒ jīn tiān yù mèn sǐ le |
| [01:43.58] | yù dào yí ge rén yī zhí gěi wǒ tuī xiāo |
| [01:45.19] | hā? |
| [01:45.93] | nǐ yě zhè yàng me? |
| [01:46.88] | nǐ yě? |
| [01:47.78] | wǒ jīn tiān jiù qù xǐ gè tóu |
| [01:49.51] | rán hòu jiù... jiù |
| [01:50.81] | bú shì ba |
| [01:51.53] | jiù bàn le yī zhāng kǎ |
| [01:52.80] | nǐ yě bàn le yī zhāng kǎ a? |
| [01:54.06] | nǐ yě bàn le me? |
| [01:55.05] | xǐ zǎo kǎ... |
| [01:56.13] | xǐ tóu kǎ... |
| [01:58.29] | āi 2 echo |
| [02:01.05] | hǎo wú nài a wèi shí me yào bàn kǎ |
| [02:05.66] | làng fèi qián a zhè gè yuè yào chī pāo miàn le |
| [02:10.79] | hǎo xián qì a wǒ zěn me nà me bèn a |
| [02:14.52] | |
| [02:14.52] | tuī xiāo yuán fā fēng |
| [02:14.52] | kuáng xiào |
| [02:15.54] | yuán lái rú cǐ gāng hǎo fú hé |
| [02:17.96] | jiē tóu rǎn fà fáng tuō hù tū |
| [02:20.13] | qì cái qí quán sī jiào zhuān yè |
| [02:22.21] | mǎ shàng bàn kǎ shì hé nín |
| [02:24.42] | zhǐ yǒu jīn tiān zài tè jià bàn kǎ bàn kǎ |
| [02:26.87] | tè bié yōu huì sòng gěi nǐ bàn kǎ bàn kǎ |
| [02:28.75] | kuài diǎn bàn kǎ xíng bù xíng bàn kǎ bàn kǎ |
| [02:32.89] | bàn kǎ |
| [02:33.42] | zǎo shàng hǎo zhōng wǔ hǎo wǎn shàng hǎo |
| [02:35.46] | xiān shēng nín hǎo měi nǚ hǎo |
| [02:36.60] | bàn zhāng kǎ kě hǎo? |
| [02:37.80] | yī zhāng zhǐ yào 998 |
| [02:39.04] | jiù suàn yào wǒ hǎn nǐ bà |
| [02:40.11] | yī zhāng jiào bà |
| [02:40.99] | liǎng zhāng jiào bà bà |
| [02:42.01] | bàn zhāng kǎ bàn zhāng kǎ |
| [02:43.45] | fǎn zhèng bú huì guò qī |
| [02:44.37] | bàn zhāng kǎ bàn zhāng kǎ |
| [02:45.56] | bāng wǒ chōng gè yè jī |
| [02:46.68] | bàn zhāng kǎ bàn zhāng kǎ |
| [02:47.78] | bù yòng hěn duō money |
| [02:48.74] | bàn zhāng kǎ bàn zhāng kǎ |
| [02:49.95] | jiù dàng shì wǒ qiú nǐ kǒu shuǐ |
| [02:54.96] | xiān shēng, bàn zhāng kǎ ba! |
| [02:57.04] | gǔn x3 |
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