歌曲 | Storm - Live |
歌手 | Tim Minchin |
专辑 | Ready for This? |
Inner North | |
London, top floor flat | |
All white walls, white carpet, white cat, | |
Rice Paper partitions, | |
Modern art and ambition | |
The host’s a physician, | |
Bright bloke, has his own practice | |
His girlfriend’s an actress | |
An old mate of ours from home | |
And they’re always great fun. | |
So to dinner we’ve come. | |
The 5th guest is an unknown, | |
The hosts have just thrown us together for a favor 'cause this girl’s just arrived from | |
Australia | |
And she's moved to | |
North London | |
And she’s the sister of someone | |
Or has some connection. | |
As we make introductions | |
I’m struck by her beauty | |
She’s irrefutably fair | |
With dark eyes and dark hair | |
But as she sits | |
I admit I’m a little bit wary because | |
I notice the tip of the wing of a fairy | |
Tattooed on that popular area | |
Just above the derrière | |
And when she says “ | |
I’m Sagittarien” | |
I confess a pigeonhole starts to form | |
And is immediately filled with pigeon | |
When she says her name is | |
Storm. Conversation is initially bright and light hearted | |
But it’s not long before | |
Storm gets started: “ | |
You can’t know anything, | |
Knowledge is merely opinion” | |
She opines, over her | |
Cabernet Sauvignon | |
Vis a vis | |
Some unhippily | |
Not a good start” | |
I think We’re only on pre-dinner drinks | |
And across the room, my wife | |
Widens her eyes | |
Silently begs me: | |
Be Nice! A matrimonial warning | |
Not worth ignoring | |
So I resist the urge to ask | |
Storm Whether knowledge is so loose-weave | |
Of a morning | |
When deciding whether to leave | |
Her apartment by the front door | |
Or a window on her second floor. | |
The food is delicious and | |
Storm, Whilst avoiding all meat | |
Happily sits and eats | |
As the good doctor, slightly pissedly | |
Holds court on some anachronistic aspect of medical history | |
When Storm suddenly insists “ | |
But the human body is a mystery! | |
Science just falls in a hole | |
When it tries to explain the the nature of the soul.” | |
My hostess throws me a glance | |
She, like my wife, knows there’s a chance | |
I’ll be off on one of my rare, but fun, rants | |
But I shan't. | |
My lips are sealed. | |
I just want to enjoy the meal | |
And although | |
Storm is starting to get my goat | |
I have no intention of rocking the boat, | |
Although it’s becoming a bit of a wrestle | |
Because -- like her meteorological namesake - | |
Storm has no such concerns for our vessel. “ | |
Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy | |
They promote drug dependency | |
At the cost of the natural remedies | |
That are all our bodies need | |
They are immoral and driven by greed. | |
Why take drugs | |
When herbs can solve it? | |
Why use chemicals | |
When homeopathic solvents | |
Can resolve it? | |
It’s time we all return to live | |
With natural medical alternatives.” | |
And try as | |
I like, A small crack appears | |
In my diplomacy-dike. “ | |
By definition”, | |
I begin “Alternative | |
Medicine”, | |
I continue “ | |
Has either not been proved to work, | |
Or been proved not to work. | |
Do you know what they call “alternative medicine” | |
That’s been proved to work? | |
Medicine.” “ | |
So you don’t believe | |
In ANY Natural remedies?” “ | |
On the contrary, | |
Storm. Actually, before we came to tea, | |
I took a remedy | |
Derived from the bark of a willow tree | |
A painkiller that’s virtually side-effect free | |
It’s got a weird name, | |
Darling, what was it again? | |
Masprin? Basprin? | |
Oh, yes. Asprin! | |
Which I paid about a buck for | |
Down at the local drugstore. | |
The debate briefly abates | |
As our hosts collects plates but as they return with desserts | |
Storm pertly asserts, “ | |
Shakespeare said it first: | |
There are more things in heaven and earth | |
Than exist in your philosophy… | |
Science is just how we’re trained to look at reality, | |
It doesn't explain love or spirituality. | |
How does science explain psychics? | |
Auras; the afterlife; the power of prayer?” | |
I’m becoming aware | |
That I’m staring, | |
I’m like a rabbit suddenly trapped | |
In the blinding headlights of vacuous crap. | |
Maybe it’s the | |
Hamlet she just misquothed | |
Or the eighth glass of wine | |
I just quaffed | |
But my diplomacy dike groans | |
And the arsehole held back by its stones | |
Can be held back no more: “ | |
Look , Storm, | |
I don’t mean to bore ya | |
But there’s no such thing as an aura! | |
Reading Auras is like reading minds | |
Or tea-leaves or star-signs or meridian lines | |
These people aren’t plying a skill, | |
They are either lying or mentally ill. | |
Same goes for people who claim they can hear | |
God’s demands | |
Or spiritual healers who think they've got magic hands. | |
By the way, | |
Why do we think it's | |
OK For people to pretend they can talk to the dead? | |
Isn't that totally ****ed in the head? | |
Lying to some crying woman whose child has died | |
And telling her you’re in touch with the other side? | |
I think that’s just fundamentally sick | |
Do we need to clarify here that there’s no such thing as a psychic? | |
What, are we ****ing 2? | |
Do we actually think that | |
Horton Heard a | |
Who? Do we still believe that | |
Santa brings us gifts? | |
That Michael | |
Jackson didn't have face lifts? | |
Are we still so stunned by circus tricks | |
That we think that the dead would | |
Wanna talk to pricks | |
Like John | |
Edwards? Storm to her credit despite my derision | |
Keeps firing off clichés with startling precision | |
Like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition “ | |
You’re so sure of your position | |
But you’re just closed-minded | |
I think you’ll find | |
That your faith in science and tests | |
Is just as blind | |
As the faith of any fundamentalist” “ | |
Wow, that’s a good point, let me think for a bit | |
Oh wait, my mistake, that’s absolute bullshit. | |
Science adjusts it’s views based on what’s observed | |
Faith is the denial of observation so that | |
Belief can be preserved. | |
If you show me | |
That, say, homeopathy works, | |
Then I will change my mind | |
I’ll spin on a ****ing dime | |
I’ll be as embarrassed as hell, | |
But I will run through the streets yelling | |
It’s a miracle! | |
Take physics and bin it! | |
Water has memory! | |
And while it’s memory of a long lost drop of onion juice is | |
Infinite It somehow forgets all the poo it’s had in it! | |
You show me that it works and how it works | |
And when I’ve recovered from the shock | |
I will take a compass and carve | |
Fancy That on the side of my cock.” | |
Everyone's just staring now, | |
But I’m pretty pissed and | |
I’ve dug this far down, | |
So I figure, in for penny, in for a pound: “ | |
Life is full of mysteries, yeah | |
But there are answers out there | |
And they won’t be found | |
By people sitting around | |
Looking serious | |
And saying isn’t life mysterious? | |
Let’s sit here and hope | |
Let’s call up the ****ing | |
Pope Let’s go watch | |
Oprah Interview | |
Deepak Chopra | |
If you’re going to watch telly, you should watch | |
Scooby Doo. | |
That show was so cool because every time there’s a church with a ghoul | |
Or a ghost in a school | |
They looked beneath the mask and what was inside? | |
The ****ing janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide. | |
Because throughout history | |
Every mystery | |
Ever solved has turned out to be | |
Not Magic. | |
Does the idea that there might be knowledge | |
Frighten you? | |
Does the idea that one afternoon | |
On Wiki-****ing-pedia might enlighten you | |
Frighten you? | |
Does the notion that there may not be a supernatural | |
So blow your hippy noodle | |
That you would rather just stand in the fog | |
Of your inability to | |
Google? Isn’t this enough? | |
Just this world? | |
Just this beautiful, complex | |
Wonderfully unfathomable, natural world? | |
How does it so fail to hold our attention | |
That we have to diminish it with the invention | |
Of cheap, man-made | |
Myths and | |
Monsters? | |
If you’re so into | |
Shakespeare | |
Lend me your ear: “ | |
To gild refined gold, to paint the lily, | |
To throw perfume on the violet… is just ****ing silly” | |
Or something like that. | |
Or what about | |
Satchmo?! | |
I see trees of green, | |
Red roses too, | |
And fine, if you wish to | |
Glorify Krishna and | |
Vishnu In a post-colonial, condescending | |
Bottled-up and labeled kind of way | |
Then whatever, that’s ok. | |
But here’s what gives me a hard-on: | |
I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant bit of carbon. | |
I have one life, and it is short | |
And unimportant… | |
But thanks to recent scientific advances | |
I get to live twice as long as my great great great great uncleses and auntses. | |
Twice as long to live this life of mine | |
Twice as long to love this wife of mine | |
Twice as many years of friends and wine | |
Of sharing curries and getting shitty | |
With good-looking hippies | |
With fairies on their spines | |
And butterflies on their titties. | |
And if perchance | |
I have offended | |
Think but this and all is mended: | |
We’d as well be 10 minutes back in time, | |
For all the chance you’ll change your mind. |
Inner North | |
London, top floor flat | |
All white walls, white carpet, white cat, | |
Rice Paper partitions, | |
Modern art and ambition | |
The host' s a physician, | |
Bright bloke, has his own practice | |
His girlfriend' s an actress | |
An old mate of ours from home | |
And they' re always great fun. | |
So to dinner we' ve come. | |
The 5th guest is an unknown, | |
The hosts have just thrown us together for a favor ' cause this girl' s just arrived from | |
Australia | |
And she' s moved to | |
North London | |
And she' s the sister of someone | |
Or has some connection. | |
As we make introductions | |
I' m struck by her beauty | |
She' s irrefutably fair | |
With dark eyes and dark hair | |
But as she sits | |
I admit I' m a little bit wary because | |
I notice the tip of the wing of a fairy | |
Tattooed on that popular area | |
Just above the derriè re | |
And when she says " | |
I' m Sagittarien" | |
I confess a pigeonhole starts to form | |
And is immediately filled with pigeon | |
When she says her name is | |
Storm. Conversation is initially bright and light hearted | |
But it' s not long before | |
Storm gets started: " | |
You can' t know anything, | |
Knowledge is merely opinion" | |
She opines, over her | |
Cabernet Sauvignon | |
Vis a vis | |
Some unhippily | |
Not a good start" | |
I think We' re only on predinner drinks | |
And across the room, my wife | |
Widens her eyes | |
Silently begs me: | |
Be Nice! A matrimonial warning | |
Not worth ignoring | |
So I resist the urge to ask | |
Storm Whether knowledge is so looseweave | |
Of a morning | |
When deciding whether to leave | |
Her apartment by the front door | |
Or a window on her second floor. | |
The food is delicious and | |
Storm, Whilst avoiding all meat | |
Happily sits and eats | |
As the good doctor, slightly pissedly | |
Holds court on some anachronistic aspect of medical history | |
When Storm suddenly insists " | |
But the human body is a mystery! | |
Science just falls in a hole | |
When it tries to explain the the nature of the soul." | |
My hostess throws me a glance | |
She, like my wife, knows there' s a chance | |
I' ll be off on one of my rare, but fun, rants | |
But I shan' t. | |
My lips are sealed. | |
I just want to enjoy the meal | |
And although | |
Storm is starting to get my goat | |
I have no intention of rocking the boat, | |
Although it' s becoming a bit of a wrestle | |
Because like her meteorological namesake | |
Storm has no such concerns for our vessel. " | |
Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy | |
They promote drug dependency | |
At the cost of the natural remedies | |
That are all our bodies need | |
They are immoral and driven by greed. | |
Why take drugs | |
When herbs can solve it? | |
Why use chemicals | |
When homeopathic solvents | |
Can resolve it? | |
It' s time we all return to live | |
With natural medical alternatives." | |
And try as | |
I like, A small crack appears | |
In my diplomacydike. " | |
By definition", | |
I begin " Alternative | |
Medicine", | |
I continue " | |
Has either not been proved to work, | |
Or been proved not to work. | |
Do you know what they call " alternative medicine" | |
That' s been proved to work? | |
Medicine." " | |
So you don' t believe | |
In ANY Natural remedies?" " | |
On the contrary, | |
Storm. Actually, before we came to tea, | |
I took a remedy | |
Derived from the bark of a willow tree | |
A painkiller that' s virtually sideeffect free | |
It' s got a weird name, | |
Darling, what was it again? | |
Masprin? Basprin? | |
Oh, yes. Asprin! | |
Which I paid about a buck for | |
Down at the local drugstore. | |
The debate briefly abates | |
As our hosts collects plates but as they return with desserts | |
Storm pertly asserts, " | |
Shakespeare said it first: | |
There are more things in heaven and earth | |
Than exist in your philosophy | |
Science is just how we' re trained to look at reality, | |
It doesn' t explain love or spirituality. | |
How does science explain psychics? | |
Auras the afterlife the power of prayer?" | |
I' m becoming aware | |
That I' m staring, | |
I' m like a rabbit suddenly trapped | |
In the blinding headlights of vacuous crap. | |
Maybe it' s the | |
Hamlet she just misquothed | |
Or the eighth glass of wine | |
I just quaffed | |
But my diplomacy dike groans | |
And the arsehole held back by its stones | |
Can be held back no more: " | |
Look , Storm, | |
I don' t mean to bore ya | |
But there' s no such thing as an aura! | |
Reading Auras is like reading minds | |
Or tealeaves or starsigns or meridian lines | |
These people aren' t plying a skill, | |
They are either lying or mentally ill. | |
Same goes for people who claim they can hear | |
God' s demands | |
Or spiritual healers who think they' ve got magic hands. | |
By the way, | |
Why do we think it' s | |
OK For people to pretend they can talk to the dead? | |
Isn' t that totally ed in the head? | |
Lying to some crying woman whose child has died | |
And telling her you' re in touch with the other side? | |
I think that' s just fundamentally sick | |
Do we need to clarify here that there' s no such thing as a psychic? | |
What, are we ing 2? | |
Do we actually think that | |
Horton Heard a | |
Who? Do we still believe that | |
Santa brings us gifts? | |
That Michael | |
Jackson didn' t have face lifts? | |
Are we still so stunned by circus tricks | |
That we think that the dead would | |
Wanna talk to pricks | |
Like John | |
Edwards? Storm to her credit despite my derision | |
Keeps firing off cliché s with startling precision | |
Like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition " | |
You' re so sure of your position | |
But you' re just closedminded | |
I think you' ll find | |
That your faith in science and tests | |
Is just as blind | |
As the faith of any fundamentalist" " | |
Wow, that' s a good point, let me think for a bit | |
Oh wait, my mistake, that' s absolute bullshit. | |
Science adjusts it' s views based on what' s observed | |
Faith is the denial of observation so that | |
Belief can be preserved. | |
If you show me | |
That, say, homeopathy works, | |
Then I will change my mind | |
I' ll spin on a ing dime | |
I' ll be as embarrassed as hell, | |
But I will run through the streets yelling | |
It' s a miracle! | |
Take physics and bin it! | |
Water has memory! | |
And while it' s memory of a long lost drop of onion juice is | |
Infinite It somehow forgets all the poo it' s had in it! | |
You show me that it works and how it works | |
And when I' ve recovered from the shock | |
I will take a compass and carve | |
Fancy That on the side of my cock." | |
Everyone' s just staring now, | |
But I' m pretty pissed and | |
I' ve dug this far down, | |
So I figure, in for penny, in for a pound: " | |
Life is full of mysteries, yeah | |
But there are answers out there | |
And they won' t be found | |
By people sitting around | |
Looking serious | |
And saying isn' t life mysterious? | |
Let' s sit here and hope | |
Let' s call up the ing | |
Pope Let' s go watch | |
Oprah Interview | |
Deepak Chopra | |
If you' re going to watch telly, you should watch | |
Scooby Doo. | |
That show was so cool because every time there' s a church with a ghoul | |
Or a ghost in a school | |
They looked beneath the mask and what was inside? | |
The ing janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide. | |
Because throughout history | |
Every mystery | |
Ever solved has turned out to be | |
Not Magic. | |
Does the idea that there might be knowledge | |
Frighten you? | |
Does the idea that one afternoon | |
On Wiki ingpedia might enlighten you | |
Frighten you? | |
Does the notion that there may not be a supernatural | |
So blow your hippy noodle | |
That you would rather just stand in the fog | |
Of your inability to | |
Google? Isn' t this enough? | |
Just this world? | |
Just this beautiful, complex | |
Wonderfully unfathomable, natural world? | |
How does it so fail to hold our attention | |
That we have to diminish it with the invention | |
Of cheap, manmade | |
Myths and | |
Monsters? | |
If you' re so into | |
Shakespeare | |
Lend me your ear: " | |
To gild refined gold, to paint the lily, | |
To throw perfume on the violet is just ing silly" | |
Or something like that. | |
Or what about | |
Satchmo?! | |
I see trees of green, | |
Red roses too, | |
And fine, if you wish to | |
Glorify Krishna and | |
Vishnu In a postcolonial, condescending | |
Bottledup and labeled kind of way | |
Then whatever, that' s ok. | |
But here' s what gives me a hardon: | |
I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant bit of carbon. | |
I have one life, and it is short | |
And unimportant | |
But thanks to recent scientific advances | |
I get to live twice as long as my great great great great uncleses and auntses. | |
Twice as long to live this life of mine | |
Twice as long to love this wife of mine | |
Twice as many years of friends and wine | |
Of sharing curries and getting shitty | |
With goodlooking hippies | |
With fairies on their spines | |
And butterflies on their titties. | |
And if perchance | |
I have offended | |
Think but this and all is mended: | |
We' d as well be 10 minutes back in time, | |
For all the chance you' ll change your mind. |