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Well the government's made a document |
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To help prevent embarrassment |
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And in the event of an accident |
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Catching us with our trousers down |
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It's no use to you when you're dead |
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Nor even when alive |
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And the name of this piece of paper is |
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Protect and survive |
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So when the nukes come raining down |
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It's great to be alive, well |
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World War Three can be such fun |
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If you protect and survive |
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Protect and survive |
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Well a nuclear strike can be recognised |
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It would stand out in a crowd |
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There's a flash, then a bang, then a blast of heat |
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Then a bloody great mushroom cloud |
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So if you happen to see one at the end of your street |
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Would you please pick up the telephone |
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And inform your local police |
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So when the nukes come raining down |
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It's great to be alive, well |
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World War Three can be such fun |
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If you protect and survive |
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Protect and survive |
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Put sticky tape on your windows |
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Block your ears and close your eyes |
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But it won't make a blind bit of difference |
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You won't have to watch yourself fry |
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If you find yourself in the target zone |
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And you haven't got a shelter |
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Take a spade into the garden |
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And dig like merry hell, sir |
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So when the nukes come raining down |
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It's great to be alive, well |
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World War Three can be such fun |
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If you protect and survive |
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Protect and survive |
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They've got strategic ICBM's |
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Both theatre and tactical |
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With independently targeted |
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Multiple re-entry vehicles |
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Backfire bombers, Polaris sub's, cruise missiles |
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And the boys who hang around the Pentagon |
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Can't wait to use these toys |
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So when the nukes come raining down |
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It's great to be alive, well |
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World War Three can be such fun |
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If you protect and survive |
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Protect and survive |
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When Armageddon gets underway |
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And the rockets come pouring down |
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All the bloody politicians who started it |
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Will scuttle off underground |
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And when they finally re-emerge |
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With no life to be found |
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They can administrate the rubble |
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And they can order each other around |
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So when the nukes come raining down |
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It's great to be alive, well |
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World War Three can be such fun |
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If you protect and survive |
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Protect and survive |
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For they give us a four-minute warning |
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When the rockets are on their way |
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To give us time to panic and Christians time to pray |
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So when you hear the siren's going |
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Place your head between your thighs |
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Whilst maintaining this posture |
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You can make a final gesture |
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And with a little muscular pressure |
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You can kiss your arse goodbye |
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So when the nukes come raining down |
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It's great to be alive, well |
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World War Three can be such fun |
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If you protect and survive |
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Protect and survive |
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Protect and... |