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There once was a man who just couldn't cry |
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He hadn't cried for years & for years |
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Napalmed babies & the movie 'Love Story', |
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For instance could not produce tears |
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As a child he had cried as all children will |
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But at some point the tear ducts ran dry |
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He grew to be a man & the feces hit the fan |
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Things got bad but he couldn't cry |
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His dog got run over, his wife up & left him |
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After that he got sacked from his job |
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Lost an arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore |
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But still not a sniffle & sob |
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Well his novel was refused & his movie was banned |
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And his biog Broadway show was a flop |
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He was sent off to jail, you guessed it, no bail |
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But still not a dribble or drop |
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In jail he was beaten, bullied & buggered |
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And made to make licence plates |
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Water & bread was all he was fed |
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But not once did a tear stain his face |
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Doctors were called in, scientists too, |
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Theologians were last & practically least |
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They all agreed sure enough |
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He was no cream puff |
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But in fact an insensitive beast |
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He was removed from jail & placed in a place |
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For the insensitive & the insane |
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He played lots of chess & he made lots of friends |
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And he wept every time it would train |
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Once it rained 40 days & it rained 40 nights |
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And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried |
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On the 41st day he just passed away |
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He just dehydrated & died |
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He went up to heaven located his dog |
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Not only that but he rejoined his arm |
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Down below all the critics, they took it all back |
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Cancer robbed the whore of her charm |
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His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke |
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The theologians were finally found out |
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Right down to the ground, the prison burned down |
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The earth suffered perpetual drought |
