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How lovely to sit here in the shade |
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With none of the woes of man and maid |
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I'm glad I'm not young anymore |
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The rivals that don't exist at all |
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The feeling you're only two feet tall |
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I'm glad that I'm not young anymore |
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No more confusion |
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No morning-after surprise |
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No self-delusion |
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That when you're telling those lies |
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She isn't wise |
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And even if love comes through the door |
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The chance that goes on forevermore |
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Forevermore is shorter than before |
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Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore |
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The tiny remark that tortures you |
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The fear that your friends won't like her too |
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I'm glad I'm not young anymore |
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The longing to end the stale affair |
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Until you find out she doesn't care |
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I'm glad that I'm not young anymore |
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No more frustration |
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No star-crossed lover am I |
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No aggravation |
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Just one reluctant reply |
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"Lady, goodbye!" |
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The Fountain of Youth is dull as paint |
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Methuselah is my patron saint |
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I've never been so comfortable before |
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Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore |