| [00:04.58] | 《我和她》 |
| [00:06.55] | |
| [00:08.29] | 小东乌拉呆：想和我一起 写一本日记写你的调皮 学我的笔迹可以不讲理 可以小淘气 |
| [00:20.91] | 只要我陪你 不用买玩具我就这样的代替了你的Hello Kitty |
| [00:26.15] | 不爽了拿来撒气 开心啦就抱在怀里我抗议这女权主义男人要起义 |
| [00:32.90] | 是谁说造反有理 我惨遭拳打脚踢 |
| [00:35.57] | （对白）女：老公为什么梁山泊和祝英台变成蝴蝶了？ |
| [00:39.36] | 男：那叫成双成对。 |
| [00:40.61] | 女：那为什么罗蜜欧和朱丽叶没变成蝴蝶呢？ |
| [00:43.39] | 男：你是猪啊！ |
| [00:44.47] | 女：那我们也要成双成对，你也是猪嘿嘿！ |
| [00:47.96] | 乌拉呆：我不是哈利 |
| [00:49.01] | 却必须有魔力通中外古今 |
| [00:52.26] | 懂天文地理回答问题有耐心你问东问西我没花言巧语 用心 说的你都信 |
| [00:59.50] | 喜欢的节日要记牢 你的生日要牢记 |
| [01:02.73] | 我不能惹你生气你说为了你的美丽 |
| [01:05.35] | 不开心一只冰淇淋能带来好情绪如果多只巧克力你说就不离不弃电话不会关机 |
| [01:13.23] | 短信都是甜蜜喜欢每天粘在一起也永远不会腻 |
| [01:17.86] | 睡前的“我爱你” 要每天说一句习惯了你的习惯原来Kiss也会上瘾 |
| [01:23.00] | （背景亲吻声MUMA） |
| [01:23.98] | 石头剪子布：期待你每天都能给我愉快的意外 |
| [01:24.20] | （副歌） |
| [01:25.20] | |
| [01:30.25] | 一个对视怎么还会心跳的厉害 （奇怪）Just tell me why |
| [01:36.30] | 就是喜欢你这帅帅的坏 心跳快快点坦白你对我的爱 就是这么迫不及待 |
| [01:47.12] | （对白） |
| [01:48.73] | 女：老公，“Durex”是什么？ |
| [01:52.20] | 男：啊 口香糖。 |
| [01:53.72] | 女：哦 我都没吃过 |
| [01:56.09] | 男：哈哈 回头买给你 |
| [01:58.11] | 女：恩恩恩 |
| [01:58.81] | 乌拉呆：我学古语是迷信 |
| [02:01.12] | 你看星座是真理还说陪在我的身边会为我带来运气 |
| [02:05.67] | 不用怀疑第三期我买彩票被打击情场得意开三七她说没钱我也爱你 |
| [02:11.96] | QI QI QI |
| [02:12.76] | 划拳出局输的人去拖地家务劳动 |
| [02:16.20] | 她从来不会赖皮躺在床上装病 |
| [02:19.23] | 她全都帮我搞定饭菜可口满意 我的野蛮娇妻 |
| [02:23.98] | 她喜欢陪我一起看武藤兰的戏研究演技 |
| [02:27.54] | 这乐趣好比天真的童趣再神秘 |
| [02:30.70] | 我都能够满足她的好奇很自然的就是这样容为一体 |
| [02:35.45] | 一幅画一簇花门旁落地窗下木地板上横七竖八是谁的衣服鞋袜安静的发卡 |
| [02:43.37] | 散开的绣发洗脸池的旁边瓷杯只放了一把牙刷这觉睡的舒服 |
| [02:49.31] | 可昨晚谁打呼噜这个秘密别说出她的脾气实在恐怖起床是个艺术 |
| [02:55.40] | 要从一数到五数完还是懒得起我们能懒到下午去超市购物 |
| [03:01.26] | 要穿互换的牛仔裤她穿起来很哈我却是紧身的七分裤该听话时听话 |
| [03:06.65] | |
| [03:07.22] | 该糊涂就糊涂或许真的呆头呆脑才会傻人有傻福 吧 |
| [03:11.10] | （对白）女：老公，你等我一下。 |
| [03:14.33] | 男：还买啊？ |
| [03:15.69] | 女：恩 我去买包口香糖嘛 。。。 |
| [03:17.11] | 男：好吧。 |
| [03:18.45] | 女：小姐请问有没有Durex？ |
| [03:22.01] | 服务员：有哇 请问要什么香型？ |
| [03:24.08] | 女：苹果 |
| [03:24.66] | 男：-_-哎 老婆 等一下 其实。。饿。哈哈哈哈 |
| [00:04.58] | wo he ta |
| [00:06.55] | |
| [00:08.29] | xiao dong wu l dai: xiang he wo yi qi xie yi ben ri ji xie ni de tiao pi xue wo de bi ji ke yi bu jiang li ke yi xiao tao qi |
| [00:20.91] | zhi yao wo pei ni bu yong mai wan ju wo jiu zhe yang de dai ti le ni de Hello Kitty |
| [00:26.15] | bu shuang le na lai sa qi kai xin la jiu bao zai huai li wo kang yi zhe nv quan zhu yi nan ren yao qi yi |
| [00:32.90] | shi shui shuo zao fan you li wo can zao quan da jiao ti |
| [00:35.57] | dui bai nv: lao gong wei shi me liang shan po he zhu ying tai bian cheng hu die le? |
| [00:39.36] | nan: na jiao cheng shuang cheng dui. |
| [00:40.61] | nv: na wei shi me luo mi ou he zhu li ye mei bian cheng hu die ne? |
| [00:43.39] | nan: ni shi zhu a! |
| [00:44.47] | nv: na wo men ye yao cheng shuang cheng dui, ni ye shi zhu hei hei! |
| [00:47.96] | wu l dai: wo bu shi ha li |
| [00:49.01] | que bi xu you mo li tong zhong wai gu jin |
| [00:52.26] | dong tian wen di li hui da wen ti you nai xin ni wen dong wen xi wo mei hua yan qiao yu yong xin shuo de ni dou xin |
| [00:59.50] | xi huan de jie ri yao ji lao ni de sheng ri yao lao ji |
| [01:02.73] | wo bu neng re ni sheng qi ni shuo wei le ni de mei li |
| [01:05.35] | bu kai xin yi zhi bing qi lin neng dai lai hao qing xu ru guo duo zhi qiao ke li ni shuo jiu bu li bu qi dian hua bu hui guan ji |
| [01:13.23] | duan xin dou shi tian mi xi huan mei tian zhan zai yi qi ye yong yuan bu hui ni |
| [01:17.86] | shui qian de" wo ai ni" yao mei tian shuo yi ju xi guan le ni de xi guan yuan lai Kiss ye hui shang yin |
| [01:23.00] | bei jing qin wen sheng MUMA |
| [01:23.98] | shi tou jian zi bu: qi dai ni mei tian du neng gei wo yu kuai de yi wai |
| [01:24.20] | fu ge |
| [01:25.20] | |
| [01:30.25] | yi ge dui shi zen me hai hui xin tiao de li hai qi guai Just tell me why |
| [01:36.30] | jiu shi xi huan ni zhe shuai shuai de huai xin tiao kuai kuai dian tan bai ni dui wo de ai jiu shi zhe me po bu ji dai |
| [01:47.12] | dui bai |
| [01:48.73] | nv: lao gong," Durex" shi shen me? |
| [01:52.20] | nan: a kou xiang tang. |
| [01:53.72] | nv: o wo dou mei chi guo |
| [01:56.09] | nan: ha ha hui tou mai gei ni |
| [01:58.11] | nv: en en en |
| [01:58.81] | wu l dai: wo xue gu yu shi mi xin |
| [02:01.12] | ni kan xing zuo shi zhen li hai shuo pei zai wo de shen bian hui wei wo dai lai yun qi |
| [02:05.67] | bu yong huai yi di san qi wo mai cai piao bei da ji qing chang de yi kai san qi ta shuo mei qian wo ye ai ni |
| [02:11.96] | QI QI QI |
| [02:12.76] | hua quan chu ju shu de ren qu tuo di jia wu lao dong |
| [02:16.20] | ta cong lai bu hui lai pi tang zai chuang shang zhuang bing |
| [02:19.23] | ta quan dou bang wo gao ding fan cai ke kou man yi wo de ye man jiao qi |
| [02:23.98] | ta xi huan pei wo yi qi kan wu teng lan de xi yan jiu yan ji |
| [02:27.54] | zhe le qu hao bi tian zhen de tong qu zai shen mi |
| [02:30.70] | wo dou neng gou man zu ta de hao qi hen zi ran de jiu shi zhe yang rong wei yi ti |
| [02:35.45] | yi fu hua yi cu hua men pang luo di chuang xia mu di ban shang heng qi shu ba shi shui de yi fu xie wa an jing de fa qia |
| [02:43.37] | san kai de xiu fa xi lian chi de pang bian ci bei zhi fang le yi ba ya shua zhe jue shui de shu fu |
| [02:49.31] | ke zuo wan shui da hu lu zhe ge mi mi bie shuo chu ta de pi qi shi zai kong bu qi chuang shi ge yi shu |
| [02:55.40] | yao cong yi shu dao wu shu wan hai shi lan de qi wo men neng lan dao xia wu qu chao shi gou wu |
| [03:01.26] | yao chuan hu huan de niu zai ku ta chuan qi lai hen ha wo que shi jin shen de qi fen ku gai ting hua shi ting hua |
| [03:06.65] | |
| [03:07.22] | gai hu tu jiu hu tu huo xu zhen de dai tou dai nao cai hui sha ren you sha fu ba |
| [03:11.10] | dui bai nv: lao gong, ni deng wo yi xia. |
| [03:14.33] | nan: hai mai a? |
| [03:15.69] | nv: en wo qu mai bao kou xiang tang ma ... |
| [03:17.11] | nan: hao ba. |
| [03:18.45] | nv: xiao jie qing wen you mei you Durex? |
| [03:22.01] | fu wu yuan: you wa qing wen yao shen me xiang xing? |
| [03:24.08] | nv: ping guo |
| [03:24.66] | nan: _ ai lao po deng yi xia qi shi.. e. ha ha ha ha |
| [00:04.58] | wǒ hé tā |
| [00:06.55] | |
| [00:08.29] | xiǎo dōng wù l dāi: xiǎng hé wǒ yì qǐ xiě yī běn rì jì xiě nǐ de tiáo pí xué wǒ de bǐ jī kě yǐ bù jiǎng lǐ kě yǐ xiǎo táo qì |
| [00:20.91] | zhǐ yào wǒ péi nǐ bù yòng mǎi wán jù wǒ jiù zhè yàng de dài tì le nǐ de Hello Kitty |
| [00:26.15] | bù shuǎng le ná lái sā qì kāi xīn la jiù bào zài huái lǐ wǒ kàng yì zhè nǚ quán zhǔ yì nán rén yào qǐ yì |
| [00:32.90] | shì shuí shuō zào fǎn yǒu lǐ wǒ cǎn zāo quán dǎ jiǎo tī |
| [00:35.57] | duì bái nǚ: lǎo gōng wèi shí me liáng shān pō hé zhù yīng tái biàn chéng hú dié le? |
| [00:39.36] | nán: nà jiào chéng shuāng chéng duì. |
| [00:40.61] | nǚ: nà wèi shí me luó mì ōu hé zhū lì yè méi biàn chéng hú dié ne? |
| [00:43.39] | nán: nǐ shì zhū a! |
| [00:44.47] | nǚ: nà wǒ men yě yào chéng shuāng chéng duì, nǐ yě shì zhū hēi hēi! |
| [00:47.96] | wù l dāi: wǒ bú shì hā lì |
| [00:49.01] | què bì xū yǒu mó lì tōng zhōng wài gǔ jīn |
| [00:52.26] | dǒng tiān wén dì lǐ huí dá wèn tí yǒu nài xīn nǐ wèn dōng wèn xī wǒ méi huā yán qiǎo yǔ yòng xīn shuō de nǐ dōu xìn |
| [00:59.50] | xǐ huān de jié rì yào jì láo nǐ de shēng rì yào láo jì |
| [01:02.73] | wǒ bù néng rě nǐ shēng qì nǐ shuō wèi le nǐ de měi lì |
| [01:05.35] | bù kāi xīn yì zhī bīng qí lín néng dài lái hǎo qíng xù rú guǒ duō zhǐ qiǎo kè lì nǐ shuō jiù bù lí bù qì diàn huà bú huì guān jī |
| [01:13.23] | duǎn xìn dōu shì tián mì xǐ huān měi tiān zhān zài yì qǐ yě yǒng yuǎn bú huì nì |
| [01:17.86] | shuì qián de" wǒ ài nǐ" yào měi tiān shuō yī jù xí guàn le nǐ de xí guàn yuán lái Kiss yě huì shàng yǐn |
| [01:23.00] | bèi jǐng qīn wěn shēng MUMA |
| [01:23.98] | shí tou jiǎn zi bù: qī dài nǐ měi tiān dū néng gěi wǒ yú kuài de yì wài |
| [01:24.20] | fù gē |
| [01:25.20] | |
| [01:30.25] | yí gè duì shì zěn me hái huì xīn tiào de lì hài qí guài Just tell me why |
| [01:36.30] | jiù shì xǐ huān nǐ zhè shuài shuài de huài xīn tiào kuài kuài diǎn tǎn bái nǐ duì wǒ de ài jiù shì zhè me pò bù jí dài |
| [01:47.12] | duì bái |
| [01:48.73] | nǚ: lǎo gōng," Durex" shì shén me? |
| [01:52.20] | nán: a kǒu xiāng táng. |
| [01:53.72] | nǚ: ó wǒ dōu méi chī guò |
| [01:56.09] | nán: hā hā huí tóu mǎi gěi nǐ |
| [01:58.11] | nǚ: ēn ēn ēn |
| [01:58.81] | wù l dāi: wǒ xué gǔ yǔ shì mí xìn |
| [02:01.12] | nǐ kàn xīng zuò shì zhēn lǐ hái shuō péi zài wǒ de shēn biān huì wèi wǒ dài lái yùn qì |
| [02:05.67] | bù yòng huái yí dì sān qī wǒ mǎi cǎi piào bèi dǎ jī qíng chǎng dé yì kāi sān qī tā shuō méi qián wǒ yě ài nǐ |
| [02:11.96] | QI QI QI |
| [02:12.76] | huá quán chū jú shū de rén qù tuō dì jiā wù láo dòng |
| [02:16.20] | tā cóng lái bú huì lài pí tǎng zài chuáng shàng zhuāng bìng |
| [02:19.23] | tā quán dōu bāng wǒ gǎo dìng fàn cài kě kǒu mǎn yì wǒ de yě mán jiāo qī |
| [02:23.98] | tā xǐ huān péi wǒ yì qǐ kàn wǔ téng lán de xì yán jiū yǎn jì |
| [02:27.54] | zhè lè qù hǎo bǐ tiān zhēn de tóng qù zài shén mì |
| [02:30.70] | wǒ dōu néng gòu mǎn zú tā de hào qí hěn zì rán de jiù shì zhè yàng róng wèi yī tǐ |
| [02:35.45] | yī fú huà yī cù huā mén páng luò dì chuāng xià mù dì bǎn shàng héng qī shù bā shì shuí de yī fú xié wà ān jìng de fà qiǎ |
| [02:43.37] | sàn kāi de xiù fā xǐ liǎn chí de páng biān cí bēi zhǐ fàng le yī bǎ yá shuā zhè jué shuì de shū fú |
| [02:49.31] | kě zuó wǎn shuí dǎ hū lū zhè gè mì mì bié shuō chū tā de pí qì shí zài kǒng bù qǐ chuáng shì gè yì shù |
| [02:55.40] | yào cóng yī shù dào wǔ shù wán hái shì lǎn de qǐ wǒ men néng lǎn dào xià wǔ qù chāo shì gòu wù |
| [03:01.26] | yào chuān hù huàn de niú zǎi kù tā chuān qǐ lái hěn hā wǒ què shì jǐn shēn de qī fēn kù gāi tīng huà shí tīng huà |
| [03:06.65] | |
| [03:07.22] | gāi hú tú jiù hú tú huò xǔ zhēn de dāi tóu dāi nǎo cái huì shǎ rén yǒu shǎ fú ba |
| [03:11.10] | duì bái nǚ: lǎo gōng, nǐ děng wǒ yī xià. |
| [03:14.33] | nán: hái mǎi a? |
| [03:15.69] | nǚ: ēn wǒ qù mǎi bāo kǒu xiāng táng ma ... |
| [03:17.11] | nán: hǎo ba. |
| [03:18.45] | nǚ: xiǎo jiě qǐng wèn yǒu méi yǒu Durex? |
| [03:22.01] | fú wù yuán: yǒu wa qǐng wèn yào shén me xiāng xíng? |
| [03:24.08] | nǚ: píng guǒ |
| [03:24.66] | nán: _ āi lǎo pó děng yī xià qí shí.. è. hā hā hā hā |
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