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She swings the string of pearls on the corner |
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The street lights reflect the light in the water |
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The string it snaps and the pearls go sailing |
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And they splash and bounce and roll 'cross the wet street |
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As she bends to chase the pearls a car swings 'round the corner |
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She darts from the eyes of the panic-struck driver |
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Who's racing to the delivery room |
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'cause in the back seat his wife is busting out of her womb |
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And the sack breaks and out come the siamese twins |
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Who grow up to become the first president |
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With two heads |
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Are better than one |
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He puts his heads in his hands, says i got to put my heads together |
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I can become the best president ever |
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And not just president |
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Fend for yourself |
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Signs his name, takes the blame for all of the names with no shame |
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In their beliefs |
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They adjourn and they leave, and in walks a man |
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With a broom and a knife and blood on his hands |
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And he sweeps everything under the rug |
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And goes home to his kids and gives them a hug |
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But his wife was not there, she had just left a letter |
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That said "you'd be much better off without me" |
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Now his wife took the train to her ex-lover's funeral |
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Who died in the bathroom, hit his head on a urinal |
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When they got together, the knowledge was carnal |
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And the widow was at the funeral, and they had quite a catfight |
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And they fell into the hole where the casket was resting |
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And the preacher just left in the middle of the service |
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'cause death was one thing, but women made him nervous |
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And he ran to his car and he drove 'round the corner |
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Then something in the street caught the light in his eye |
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He pulled over, reached down, and picked up a pearl from the gutter |
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And he didn't know what to think |
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And he brought it home and washed it in the sink |
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And he gave the pearl to sister mary teresa |
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Who could not accept it so she gave it to lisa, |
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A young prostitute who was missing a pearl |
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On the necklace that broke late last night |