| [0:09.27] |
Both: I had a little gramophone, |
| [0:13.93] |
I'd wind it round and round. |
| [0:17.48] |
And with a sharpish needle, |
| [0:21.25] |
It made a cheerful sound. |
| [0:24.65] |
And then they amplified it, |
| [0:27.83] |
It was much louder then. |
| [0:31.57] |
And used sharpened fibre needles, |
| [0:34.80] |
To make it soft again. |
| [0:38.74] |
Today for reproduction, |
| [0:41.32] |
I'm as eager as can be. |
| [0:43.69] |
Count me among the faithful fans, |
| [0:46.94] |
Of high fidelity. |
| [0:52.23] |
High fidelity, |
| [0:54.48] |
Hi-Fi's the thing for me. |
| [0:56.94] |
With an LP disk and an FM set, |
| [0:59.64] |
And a corner reflex cabinet. |
| [1:02.46] |
High frequency range, |
| [1:04.42] |
Complete with auto-change. |
| [1:06.70] |
Flanders: All the highest notes neither sharp nor flat, |
| [1:09.35] |
Swann: The ear can't hear as high as that. |
| [1:11.52] |
Flanders: Still, I ought to please any passing bat, |
| [1:14.41] |
Swann: With my high fidelity. |
| [1:17.09] |
Flanders: Who made this circuit up for you, anyway? |
| [1:20.62] |
Bought it in a shop? Shhuuuuuuuu! |
| [1:22.62] |
Oooh, what a horrible shoddy job they fobbed you off with with. |
| [1:25.67] |
Surprised they let you have it in this room anyway, the acoustics are all wrong. |
| [1:29.90] |
If you raise the ceiling four feet... |
| [1:31.99] |
put the fireplace from that wall to that wall... |
| [1:34.11] |
you'll still only get the stereophonic effect if you sit in the bottom of that cupboard. |
| [1:40.21] |
I see... I see you've got your negative feedback coupled in with your push-pull-input-output. |
| [1:46.96] |
Take that across through your redded pickup to your tweeter, |
| [1:49.70] |
if you're modding more than eight, you're going to get wow on your top. |
| [1:53.44] |
Try to bring that down through your pre-amp rumble filter to your woofer, |
| [1:57.67] |
what'll you get? Flutter on your bottom! |
| [2:01.15] |
Both: High fidelity, |
| [2:03.03] |
Flanders: FFRR for me. |
| [2:04.98] |
Both: I've an opera here that you shan't escape, |
| [2:07.62] |
On miles and miles of recording tape. |
| [2:10.55] |
High decibel gain, |
| [2:12.69] |
Is easy to obtain. |
| [2:14.55] |
Flanders: With the tone control at a single touch, |
| [2:16.68] |
Swann: Bel canto sounds like double Dutch. |
| [2:19.21] |
Both: But I never did care for music much, |
| [2:21.94] |
It's the high fidelity! |
| [2:36.66] |
Flanders: This is perhaps a good moment to explain that we don't normally have these things standing around here, |
| [2:39.97] |
but tonight they are recording this - stereophonically, |
| [2:43.76] |
in fact - for posterity. So wherever you're sitting now, that's where you'll be on the record. |
| [2:55.76] |
Sit up nice and straight. Any of you feel like rolling in the aisles or being carried out helpless with mirth, |
| [2:59.38] |
this is a jolly good night to do it! Do you want to say hello to posterity? |
| [3:03.00] |
Swann: Hello! |
| [3:04.20] |
Flanders: Hello, Posterity! If we sort of move around a bit, they'll use it for demonstration purposes. |