| [01:13.33] |
Along the Forest Road, there's hundreds of cars - luxury cars. |
| [01:19.65] |
Each has got its load of convertible bars, cutlery cars - superscars! |
| [01:27.88] |
For today is the day when they sort it out, sort it out, |
| [01:33.94] |
'cos they disagree on a gangland boundary. |
| [01:40.09] |
They disagree on a gangland boundary. |
| [01:46.53] |
There's Willy Wright and his boys - |
| [01:49.16] |
one helluva noise, that's Billy's boys! |
| [01:52.66] |
With fully-fashioned mugs, that's Little John's thugs, |
| [01:57.17] |
the Barking Slugs - supersmugs! |
| [02:01.27] |
For today is the day when they sort it out, sort it out, |
| [02:07.11] |
yes these Christian soldiers fight to protect the poor. |
| [02:13.60] |
East end heroes got to score in... |
| [02:17.50] |
the Battle of Epping Forest, |
| [02:19.49] |
yes it's the Battle of Epping Forest, |
| [02:22.68] |
right outside your door. |
| [02:30.24] |
You ain't seen nothing like it. |
| [02:33.60] |
No, you ain't seen nothing like it, |
| [02:36.39] |
not since the Civil War. |
| [02:45.52] |
Coming over the hill are the boys of Bill, |
| [02:48.52] |
and Johnny's lads stand very still. |
| [02:51.77] |
With the thumpire's shout, they all start to clout |
| [02:54.97] |
- there's no guns in this gentleman's bout. |
| [02:58.57] |
Georgie moves in on the outside left |
| [03:01.91] |
with a chain flying round his head; |
| [03:05.60] |
and Harold Demure, from Art Literature, |
| [03:09.05] |
nips up the nearest tree. |
| [03:12.52] |
(Here come the cavalry!) |
| [03:26.02] |
Amidst the battle roar, |
| [03:29.25] |
accountants keep the score: 10-4. |
| [03:33.66] |
They've never been alone, after getting a radiophone. |
| [03:40.60] |
The bluebells are ringing for Sweetmeal Sam, real ham, |
| [03:46.70] |
handing out bread and jam just like any picnic. |
| [04:16.30] |
It's 5-4 on William Wright; he made his pile on Derby night. |
| [04:22.44] |
When Billy was a kid, walking the streets, |
| [04:27.00] |
the other kids hid - so they did! |
| [04:31.21] |
And now, after working hard in security trade, he's got it made. |
| [04:37.48] |
The shops that need aid are those that haven't paid. |
| [04:44.24] |
"I do my double-show quick!" said Mick the Prick, fresh out the nick. |
| [04:50.29] |
"I sell cheap holiday. The minute they leave, |
| [04:55.81] |
then a visit I pay - and does it pay!" |
| [05:00.14] |
And his friend, Liquid Len by name, |
| [05:03.03] |
of Wine, Women and Wandsworth fame, |
| [05:06.06] |
said "I'm breaking the legs of the bastard that got me framed!" |
| [05:29.49] |
They called me the Reverend when I entered the Church unstained; |
| [05:37.05] |
my employers have changed but the name has remained. |
| [05:45.55] |
It all began when I went on a tour, |
| [05:48.00] |
hoping to find some furniture. |
| [05:50.14] |
I followed a sign - it said "Beautiful Chest". |
| [05:52.14] |
It led to a lady who showed me her best. |
| [05:54.05] |
She was taken by surprise when I quickly closed my eyes. |
| [05:57.72] |
So she rang the bell, and quick as hell |
| [06:02.40] |
Bob the Nob came out on his job |
| [06:06.43] |
to see what the trouble was. |
| [06:12.85] |
"Louise, is the Reverend hard to please?" |
| [06:16.15] |
"You're telling me!" |
| [06:17.78] |
"Perhaps, sir, if it's not too late. |
| [06:20.12] |
we could interest you in our old-fashioned Staffordshire plate?" |
| [06:23.56] |
"Oh no, not me, I'm a man of repute." |
| [06:33.80] |
But the Devil caught hold of my soul and a voice called out "Shoot!" |
| [06:42.00] |
To save my steeple, I visited people; |
| [06:44.36] |
for this I'd gone when I met Little John. |
| [06:46.50] |
His name came, I understood, |
| [06:48.64] |
when the judge said "You're a robbing hood." |
| [06:55.07] |
He told me of his strange foundation, |
| [06:59.17] |
conceived on sight of the Woodstock nation; |
| [07:03.13] |
he'd had to hide his reputation. |
| [07:09.77] |
When poor, 'twas salvation from door to door. |
| [07:13.74] |
But now, with a pin-up guru every week, |
| [07:17.65] |
it's Love, Peace & Truth Incorporated for all who seek. |
| [07:22.35] |
He employed me as a karma-ma-mechanic, with overall charms. |
| [07:30.43] |
His hands were then fit to receive, receive alms. |
| [07:46.69] |
That's why we're in |
| [07:47.67] |
the Battle of Epping Forest, |
| [07:50.60] |
yes it's the Battle of Epping Forest, |
| [07:53.90] |
right outside your door. |
| [08:01.97] |
We guard your souls for peanuts, |
| [08:05.13] |
and we guard your shops and houses |
| [08:08.32] |
for just a little more. |
| [08:16.66] |
In with a left hook is the Bethnal Green Butcher, |
| [08:20.12] |
but he's countered on the right by Mick's chain-gang fight, |
| [08:23.62] |
and Liquid Len, with his smashed bottle men, |
| [08:27.27] |
is lobbing Bob the Nob across the gob. |
| [08:30.95] |
With his kisser in a mess, Bob seems under stress, |
| [08:34.45] |
but Jones the Jug hits Len right in the mug; |
| [08:38.31] |
and Harold Demure, who's still not quite sure, |
| [08:41.78] |
fires acorns from out of his sling. |
| [08:45.01] |
(Here come the cavalry!) |
| [08:58.67] |
Up, up above the crowd, |
| [09:01.33] |
inside their Silver Cloud, done proud, |
| [09:05.87] |
the bold and brazen brass, seen darkly through the glass. |
| [09:12.55] |
The butler's got jam on his Rolls; Roy doles out the lot, |
| [09:18.54] |
with tea from a silver pot just like any picnic. |
| [10:03.85] |
Along the Forest Road, it's the end of the day |
| [10:08.70] |
and the Clouds roll away. |
| [10:11.76] |
Each has got its load - they'll come out for the count |
| [10:16.18] |
at the break-in of day. |
| [10:18.10] |
When the limos return for their final review, it's all thru' |
| [10:24.49] |
- all they can see is the morning goo. |
| [10:28.88] |
"There's no-one left alive - must be draw." |
| [10:38.36] |
So the Blackcap Barons toss a coin to settle the score. |