|
[ti:] |
|
[ar:] |
|
[al:] |
| [00:12.14] |
You know what troubles me? |
| [00:14.25] |
They say that nobody ever changes |
| [00:16.69] |
Despite their impressions otherwise |
| [00:19.51] |
And despite my efforts, I'm daunted by the same faults as always. |
| [00:24.93] |
While I'm tired of their jabs, they seem ever renewed by some hidden source of sustenance. |
| [00:35.34] |
They say that living 25 years is just the amount of time it takes |
| [00:38.44] |
To harden in your mold, in flexible |
| [00:42.32] |
But I'm past that line already |
| [00:44.44] |
I shuffle down the downhill side past broken trees and decomposition |
| [00:49.64] |
The bittersweet medley that blends death with hope of the ultimate oblivion |
| [01:20.72] |
Thirsty for a time when I would sit down, my work complete |
| [01:24.38] |
Surrounded by a field of fallen enemies in defeat |
| [01:27.65] |
Orbited by planetary jewels of my own design |
| [01:31.86] |
Made happy forever by their luminance |
| [01:35.73] |
But to break out of the present was impossible. |
| [01:38.09] |
The future doesn't exist yet; the past doesn't exist anymore. |
| [01:41.41] |
They've never existed: only this, |
| [01:44.42] |
the perpetual present where we're all stuck. |
| [01:48.32] |
But it felt like the coming day would just be a replica of one before |
| [01:52.31] |
With pain and boredom, and just brief bursts of pleasure |
| [01:55.99] |
And so miserable and feeling the futility of my existence, |
| [02:00.49] |
I lifted up my voice, and to my future being I sang this lament: |
| [02:05.95] |
Swear that I will crawl out the crater |
| [02:11.07] |
To smell the land that's left when the smoke clears |
| [02:16.97] |
Swear that when I slide down the side |
| [02:22.04] |
My troubles won't be close at my heels |
| [02:28.40] |
I can't promise you will be free from the ghosts |
| [02:34.61] |
Of fear, of pain, of doubting, but |
| [02:39.25] |
You will know the faces they show you |
| [02:45.08] |
And recognize they're only a vapor |
| [02:50.93] |
You may regret the route, but here you are anyway |
| [02:56.48] |
You may regret the route, but here you are anyway |
| [03:03.48] |
You may regret the route, but here you are anyway |
| [03:08.25] |
You may regret the route, but here you are anyway |
| [03:14.15] |
Burned up, beaten down, bleak and weary |
| [03:21.76] |
Weakness is a wall that you have got around |
| [03:27.31] |
You may regret the route, but here you are anyway |
| [03:32.95] |
You may regret the route, but here you are anyway |
| [03:39.51] |
My future self cheered me with these words |
| [03:41.68] |
And it was as if, though nothing had changed in my external world, |
| [03:47.16] |
I saw my future existence and my present unified in a strange eternal present |
| [03:53.45] |
As I continued to slide down the slope of the crater's outer wall, |
| [03:57.11] |
I thought, with great clarity, about the misery that had marked my life |
| [04:02.74] |
while I was struggling, inch by inch, to the crest of that vast volcanic mouth |
| [04:09.99] |
And I saw the singed bark of the stately trees, |
| [04:12.95] |
and I looked down and saw the darkened flesh of my own singed arms |
| [04:17.36] |
It was then that I realized that I had demonstrated, |
| [04:21.17] |
in my own fragile way, |
| [04:23.32] |
the strength of the tree |
