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'Yes. This is a cautionary tale. |
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You can ... take it any which way you wanna. |
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I mean no disrespect in part two. |
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As we just ... alright ... let me ...' [Ty's voice fades] |
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It was a sunny afternoon, somewhere between April, May or maybe June |
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The year had been quite busy |
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And I was just taking a break from having to make a tune |
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I was chilling with my cousin rude boys undercover just ... |
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Watching the place |
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Sitting opposite the tube |
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And this girl walked up and said 'I recognise your face. |
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Your name's Ty isn't it? I seen you in this and that magazine' |
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I was quite chuffed really, |
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Looked slightly at my cousin and we both said 'seen!' |
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One month later she phones me up |
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'I'm in the area, can I come up?' I'm like 'please!' |
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Turned to my brethren said |
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'I love you like a brother, but BRUSH you got to leave!' |
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[Tee talking] |
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'You know what I'm saying? You got to leave! If you met this girl right, |
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You'd understand. You - have - got - to - go. Thank you.' |
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Check my reflection in the mirror, |
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Spray a little air fresh, splash a little brute |
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Answer the intercom, 'is Tee there?' Oh,, she sounds cute! |
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I take her jacket and she's left with a white dress going from here to here |
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I offer her a drink, but she only wants water, I'm like 'oh each!' |
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The conversation goes from vague adult chat to thinly veiled come on's |
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Blood leaves my brain, my whole body's a drum stick ... anxious to drum on |
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How shall I approach this? I'm virtually brain dead plus the line's busy |
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I begin with a little friendly WWF and touch the titty! |
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[Girl talking, Ty whistling in background] |
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'Hold on, what are you doing? What are you doing? Are you trying to touch |
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Any of this? Who are you? Just because ...' [Girl's voice fades] |
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Felt so ashamed! Had to excuse myself by pretending to take the piss |
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Walked to the mirror, splashed water on my face and said 'man what is this?' |
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Get a grip Ben, just because the girl's here doesn't mean you're in |
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Ha, this sexy bullshit can mess up the play |
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And make you think your love is king |
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[Ty talking] |
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'Ohhh boy. Listen ... |
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You know when you're in one of those predicaments where it's like, |
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Just, oh what can I say, I can't say ...' [Ty's voice fades] |
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I left the bathroom with a clear head, |
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Expecting her to moan, apologetic in the worst way |
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She's butt naked on the sofa, |
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Smiling like a joker 'T-Y it's your birthdayyy!' |
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[Ty talking] |
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'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, y'know, no! |
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You don't, listen, you don't have to ask me what happened next! |
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Anyway, lets just say ... mighty fun was had by all! |
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Of course this is fictional, so. Y'know. |
