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Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party |
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We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog |
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Little sister brought her new boyfriend |
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He was a Mexican |
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We didn't know what to think of him until he sang |
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Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad |
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Brother Ken brought his kids with him |
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The three from his first wife Lynn |
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And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell |
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Of course he brought his new wife Kay |
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Who talks all about AA |
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Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel |
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The First Noel |
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Carve the Turkey |
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Turn the ball game on |
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Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone |
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Send somebody to the Quickpak Store |
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We need some ice and an extension chord |
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A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites |
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A box of tampons, some Marlboro Lights |
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Halleluja everybody say Cheese |
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Merry Christmas from the family |
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Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen |
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I can't remember how I'm kin to them |
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But when they tried to plug their motor home in |
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They blew our Christmas lights |
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Cousin David knew just what went wrong |
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So we all waited out on our front lawn |
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He threw a breaker and the lights came on |
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And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night, Oh Holy Night |
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Carve the turkey turn the ball game on |
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Make Bloody Mary's |
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Cause We All Want One! |
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Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go |
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We need some celery and a can of fake snow |
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A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites |
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A box of tampons, some Salem Lights |
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Halleluja, everybody say cheese |
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Merry Christmas from the Family |
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Feliz Navidad |
