| [00:01.150] | |
| [00:04.830] | Aka Mr. Leftward sloping penis |
| [00:09.100] | I got a story for you all now a€“ Yes sir. |
| [00:14.060] | Now I been dating this girl named Katie, she hot as hell |
| [00:17.390] | And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it dona€?t smell |
| [00:40.160] | And I dona€?t fall for chickens, but this one a little different |
| [00:23.690] | Body sickening, plus she really good at making breaded chicken |
| [00:26.950] | Got me thing she the one man, even fully clothed, shawty really fun |
| [00:30.280] | Get a lotta hos, but none of those come close |
| [00:32.340] | I swear this the most that Ia€?ve felt so damn exposed |
| [00:34.210] | Oh yeah, therea€?s one more thing and I know this shit gonna sound insane |
| [00:37.400] | But I still havena€?t hit it I admit it, I wish I was kidding |
| [00:41.120] | Never been up inside before, because shea€?s only fuck one guy before |
| [00:44.390] | And though I really wanna boink this whore |
| [00:45.860] | She my sweetie 3.14 |
| [00:47.630] | So Ia€?m staying patient, and masterbating, and now my heart is sorta racing |
| [00:51.310] | Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating |
| [00:54.700] | Hell yeah, Ia€?m down, Ia€?m about to go all out |
| [00:58.090] | Ia€?m gonna poud that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake |
| [01:01.230] | But on the way to the crib, we pass this kid, and he seem to know who Katie is |
| [01:04.620] | So I say a€?who thisa€? and she say dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim |
| [01:08.350] | And I aina€?t usually the one to be the jealous type |
| [01:11.220] | But as Ia€?m looking at this dude I cana€?t believe my eyes |
| [01:14.650] | Cuz hea€?s the best looking guy that Ia€?ve seen in my whole life |
| [01:20.850] | Hea€?s got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod |
| [01:24.870] | Man this the closest thing Ia€?ve seen to a Grecian god |
| [01:28.670] | And now Ia€?m looking at my chick, cuz his dicka€?s been inside her raw |
| [01:33.680] | Aww damn |
| [01:35.900] | Man this is crazy, I cana€?t believe this guy used to fuck my lady |
| [01:39.660] | I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti |
| [01:41.960] | Katiea€?s huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades Katie |
| [01:44.480] | And Ia€?m buggin and queasy, this aint okay |
| [01:46.020] | And then they say, a€?leta€?s get drinksa€? so I say okay |
| [01:48.150] | Even though I was about to get laid |
| [01:49.550] | Man this mafucka look like Ashton, combined with a lil Hugh Jackman |
| [01:53.210] | In other words, hea€?s so damn attractive |
| [01:54.670] | So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him |
| [01:56.470] | Now Ia€?m in the back with him, sippin on some yak with him |
| [01:58.320] | And he paying for it all, he investment banking |
| [01:59.890] | Ia€?m acting, like I aint distracted |
| [02:01.400] | |
| [02:03.220] | An dnow Ia€?m feeling pissed, so I go and take a piss |
| [02:06.290] | Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is |
| [02:09.800] | And I had to see, and I was mad discrete |
| [02:11.740] | And I got on my toes and I took a little peek |
| [02:13.690] | Oh my god Becky, look at that cock |
| [02:16.530] | And I aina€?t usually the one to be the jealous type |
| [02:19.810] | But as Ia€?m looking at his dick, I cana€?t believe my eyes |
| [02:23.220] | Cuz hea€?s got the biggest cock that Ia€?ve seen in my whole life |
| [02:29.130] | And now Ia€?m staring at this dudea€?s soft dick with a lotta hate |
| [02:33.310] | Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate |
| [02:36.880] | And I dona€?t know if I can date my girl after tonight |
| [02:42.660] | Aw damn |
| [02:44.370] | I dona€?t know what to do, dudea€?s dick is really huge |
| [02:47.790] | I didna€?t realize a penis could be so smooth |
| [02:51.120] | I know shea€?s missing that, my penis isna€?t that |
| [02:54.530] | Ia€?m looking closer, I think that his dick has abs |
| [02:57.840] | |
| [03:01.160] | Ita€?s so long and thick, Ita€?s like a punching bag |
| [03:04.740] | Ia€?m saying ita€?s so shaven, head is amazing |
| [03:06.870] | Got my dick looking like a raisin |
| [03:08.280] | Skin tone insane, man hea€?s hung like Saddam Hussain, its crazy |
| [03:11.910] | What the fuck should I do? |
| [03:13.590] | He gotta Rutha€?s Chris dick, and minea€?s a drive thru |
| [03:16.960] | |
| [03:19.970] | Cuz I simply cana€?t survive |
| [03:21.810] | After seeing what was in between his thighs, so I tell her |
| [03:25.500] | That this dudea€?s gotta dick that I dona€?t comprehend |
| [03:28.340] | I had to move my neck to see it end to end |
| [03:31.790] | I mean the physics of his dick just dona€?t make any sense |
| [03:37.750] | And I think ita€?s for the best if this comes to an end |
| [03:41.970] | Because the sex with him must have been the best |
| [03:45.540] | And I would say leta€?s just be friends |
| [03:48.280] | But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye |
| [03:52.550] | Then she told me dicky I dona€?t really know what to say |
| [03:55.690] | Because I dated this dude in second grade |
| [03:56.160] | So I dona€?t know about his dick, now leta€?s go home and get you laid |
| [04:05.100] | And then I took her to my crib, and you know that we belly slapped |
| [04:09.920] | And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came |
| [04:14.040] | |
| [04:20.040] |
| [00:01.150] | |
| [00:04.830] | Aka Mr. Leftward sloping penis |
| [00:09.100] | I got a story for you all now a" Yes sir. |
| [00:14.060] | Now I been dating this girl named Katie, she hot as hell |
| [00:17.390] | And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it dona? t smell |
| [00:40.160] | And I dona? t fall for chickens, but this one a little different |
| [00:23.690] | Body sickening, plus she really good at making breaded chicken |
| [00:26.950] | Got me thing she the one man, even fully clothed, shawty really fun |
| [00:30.280] | Get a lotta hos, but none of those come close |
| [00:32.340] | I swear this the most that Ia? ve felt so damn exposed |
| [00:34.210] | Oh yeah, therea? s one more thing and I know this shit gonna sound insane |
| [00:37.400] | But I still havena? t hit it I admit it, I wish I was kidding |
| [00:41.120] | Never been up inside before, because shea? s only fuck one guy before |
| [00:44.390] | And though I really wanna boink this whore |
| [00:45.860] | She my sweetie 3. 14 |
| [00:47.630] | So Ia? m staying patient, and masterbating, and now my heart is sorta racing |
| [00:51.310] | Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating |
| [00:54.700] | Hell yeah, Ia? m down, Ia? m about to go all out |
| [00:58.090] | Ia? m gonna poud that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake |
| [01:01.230] | But on the way to the crib, we pass this kid, and he seem to know who Katie is |
| [01:04.620] | So I say a? who thisa? and she say dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim |
| [01:08.350] | And I aina? t usually the one to be the jealous type |
| [01:11.220] | But as Ia? m looking at this dude I cana? t believe my eyes |
| [01:14.650] | Cuz hea? s the best looking guy that Ia? ve seen in my whole life |
| [01:20.850] | Hea? s got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod |
| [01:24.870] | Man this the closest thing Ia? ve seen to a Grecian god |
| [01:28.670] | And now Ia? m looking at my chick, cuz his dicka? s been inside her raw |
| [01:33.680] | Aww damn |
| [01:35.900] | Man this is crazy, I cana? t believe this guy used to fuck my lady |
| [01:39.660] | I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti |
| [01:41.960] | Katiea? s huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades Katie |
| [01:44.480] | And Ia? m buggin and queasy, this aint okay |
| [01:46.020] | And then they say, a? leta? s get drinksa? so I say okay |
| [01:48.150] | Even though I was about to get laid |
| [01:49.550] | Man this mafucka look like Ashton, combined with a lil Hugh Jackman |
| [01:53.210] | In other words, hea? s so damn attractive |
| [01:54.670] | So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him |
| [01:56.470] | Now Ia? m in the back with him, sippin on some yak with him |
| [01:58.320] | And he paying for it all, he investment banking |
| [01:59.890] | Ia? m acting, like I aint distracted |
| [02:01.400] | |
| [02:03.220] | An dnow Ia? m feeling pissed, so I go and take a piss |
| [02:06.290] | Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is |
| [02:09.800] | And I had to see, and I was mad discrete |
| [02:11.740] | And I got on my toes and I took a little peek |
| [02:13.690] | Oh my god Becky, look at that cock |
| [02:16.530] | And I aina? t usually the one to be the jealous type |
| [02:19.810] | But as Ia? m looking at his dick, I cana? t believe my eyes |
| [02:23.220] | Cuz hea? s got the biggest cock that Ia? ve seen in my whole life |
| [02:29.130] | And now Ia? m staring at this dudea? s soft dick with a lotta hate |
| [02:33.310] | Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate |
| [02:36.880] | And I dona? t know if I can date my girl after tonight |
| [02:42.660] | Aw damn |
| [02:44.370] | I dona? t know what to do, dudea? s dick is really huge |
| [02:47.790] | I didna? t realize a penis could be so smooth |
| [02:51.120] | I know shea? s missing that, my penis isna? t that |
| [02:54.530] | Ia? m looking closer, I think that his dick has abs |
| [02:57.840] | |
| [03:01.160] | Ita? s so long and thick, Ita? s like a punching bag |
| [03:04.740] | Ia? m saying ita? s so shaven, head is amazing |
| [03:06.870] | Got my dick looking like a raisin |
| [03:08.280] | Skin tone insane, man hea? s hung like Saddam Hussain, its crazy |
| [03:11.910] | What the fuck should I do? |
| [03:13.590] | He gotta Rutha? s Chris dick, and minea? s a drive thru |
| [03:16.960] | |
| [03:19.970] | Cuz I simply cana? t survive |
| [03:21.810] | After seeing what was in between his thighs, so I tell her |
| [03:25.500] | That this dudea? s gotta dick that I dona? t comprehend |
| [03:28.340] | I had to move my neck to see it end to end |
| [03:31.790] | I mean the physics of his dick just dona? t make any sense |
| [03:37.750] | And I think ita? s for the best if this comes to an end |
| [03:41.970] | Because the sex with him must have been the best |
| [03:45.540] | And I would say leta? s just be friends |
| [03:48.280] | But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye |
| [03:52.550] | Then she told me dicky I dona? t really know what to say |
| [03:55.690] | Because I dated this dude in second grade |
| [03:56.160] | So I dona? t know about his dick, now leta? s go home and get you laid |
| [04:05.100] | And then I took her to my crib, and you know that we belly slapped |
| [04:09.920] | And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came |
| [04:14.040] | |
| [04:20.040] |
| [00:01.150] | |
| [00:04.830] | Aka Mr. Leftward sloping penis |
| [00:09.100] | I got a story for you all now a" Yes sir. |
| [00:14.060] | Now I been dating this girl named Katie, she hot as hell |
| [00:17.390] | And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it dona? t smell |
| [00:40.160] | And I dona? t fall for chickens, but this one a little different |
| [00:23.690] | Body sickening, plus she really good at making breaded chicken |
| [00:26.950] | Got me thing she the one man, even fully clothed, shawty really fun |
| [00:30.280] | Get a lotta hos, but none of those come close |
| [00:32.340] | I swear this the most that Ia? ve felt so damn exposed |
| [00:34.210] | Oh yeah, therea? s one more thing and I know this shit gonna sound insane |
| [00:37.400] | But I still havena? t hit it I admit it, I wish I was kidding |
| [00:41.120] | Never been up inside before, because shea? s only fuck one guy before |
| [00:44.390] | And though I really wanna boink this whore |
| [00:45.860] | She my sweetie 3. 14 |
| [00:47.630] | So Ia? m staying patient, and masterbating, and now my heart is sorta racing |
| [00:51.310] | Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating |
| [00:54.700] | Hell yeah, Ia? m down, Ia? m about to go all out |
| [00:58.090] | Ia? m gonna poud that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake |
| [01:01.230] | But on the way to the crib, we pass this kid, and he seem to know who Katie is |
| [01:04.620] | So I say a? who thisa? and she say dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim |
| [01:08.350] | And I aina? t usually the one to be the jealous type |
| [01:11.220] | But as Ia? m looking at this dude I cana? t believe my eyes |
| [01:14.650] | Cuz hea? s the best looking guy that Ia? ve seen in my whole life |
| [01:20.850] | Hea? s got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod |
| [01:24.870] | Man this the closest thing Ia? ve seen to a Grecian god |
| [01:28.670] | And now Ia? m looking at my chick, cuz his dicka? s been inside her raw |
| [01:33.680] | Aww damn |
| [01:35.900] | Man this is crazy, I cana? t believe this guy used to fuck my lady |
| [01:39.660] | I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti |
| [01:41.960] | Katiea? s huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades Katie |
| [01:44.480] | And Ia? m buggin and queasy, this aint okay |
| [01:46.020] | And then they say, a? leta? s get drinksa? so I say okay |
| [01:48.150] | Even though I was about to get laid |
| [01:49.550] | Man this mafucka look like Ashton, combined with a lil Hugh Jackman |
| [01:53.210] | In other words, hea? s so damn attractive |
| [01:54.670] | So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him |
| [01:56.470] | Now Ia? m in the back with him, sippin on some yak with him |
| [01:58.320] | And he paying for it all, he investment banking |
| [01:59.890] | Ia? m acting, like I aint distracted |
| [02:01.400] | |
| [02:03.220] | An dnow Ia? m feeling pissed, so I go and take a piss |
| [02:06.290] | Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is |
| [02:09.800] | And I had to see, and I was mad discrete |
| [02:11.740] | And I got on my toes and I took a little peek |
| [02:13.690] | Oh my god Becky, look at that cock |
| [02:16.530] | And I aina? t usually the one to be the jealous type |
| [02:19.810] | But as Ia? m looking at his dick, I cana? t believe my eyes |
| [02:23.220] | Cuz hea? s got the biggest cock that Ia? ve seen in my whole life |
| [02:29.130] | And now Ia? m staring at this dudea? s soft dick with a lotta hate |
| [02:33.310] | Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate |
| [02:36.880] | And I dona? t know if I can date my girl after tonight |
| [02:42.660] | Aw damn |
| [02:44.370] | I dona? t know what to do, dudea? s dick is really huge |
| [02:47.790] | I didna? t realize a penis could be so smooth |
| [02:51.120] | I know shea? s missing that, my penis isna? t that |
| [02:54.530] | Ia? m looking closer, I think that his dick has abs |
| [02:57.840] | |
| [03:01.160] | Ita? s so long and thick, Ita? s like a punching bag |
| [03:04.740] | Ia? m saying ita? s so shaven, head is amazing |
| [03:06.870] | Got my dick looking like a raisin |
| [03:08.280] | Skin tone insane, man hea? s hung like Saddam Hussain, its crazy |
| [03:11.910] | What the fuck should I do? |
| [03:13.590] | He gotta Rutha? s Chris dick, and minea? s a drive thru |
| [03:16.960] | |
| [03:19.970] | Cuz I simply cana? t survive |
| [03:21.810] | After seeing what was in between his thighs, so I tell her |
| [03:25.500] | That this dudea? s gotta dick that I dona? t comprehend |
| [03:28.340] | I had to move my neck to see it end to end |
| [03:31.790] | I mean the physics of his dick just dona? t make any sense |
| [03:37.750] | And I think ita? s for the best if this comes to an end |
| [03:41.970] | Because the sex with him must have been the best |
| [03:45.540] | And I would say leta? s just be friends |
| [03:48.280] | But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye |
| [03:52.550] | Then she told me dicky I dona? t really know what to say |
| [03:55.690] | Because I dated this dude in second grade |
| [03:56.160] | So I dona? t know about his dick, now leta? s go home and get you laid |
| [04:05.100] | And then I took her to my crib, and you know that we belly slapped |
| [04:09.920] | And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came |
| [04:14.040] | |
| [04:20.040] |
| [00:01.150] | Hey whats going on man, Ita€?s your boy Lil Dicky 怎么了小宝贝们Dicky本人在此 |
| [00:04.830] | 也可以叫我J8左摆哥 |
| [00:09.100] | 想知道我的故事么？听好了！ |
| [00:14.060] | 我现任女友芳名Kaite，她性感的不像话 |
| [00:17.390] | 身材不但正到爆，鲍鱼也光滑白净无异味 |
| [00:40.160] | 虽然通常此等好身材尤物不是我的菜，但她非常特别 |
| [00:23.690] | 身材好不说，重要的是“两面夹鸡”也做的一流 |
| [00:26.950] | 不由得让我觉得她就是我的真命天女，虽然衣冠楚楚，但在我眼中犹若尤物 |
| [00:30.280] | 见的妞多了，但她特别吸引我 |
| [00:32.340] | 我发誓她是最让我欲火焚身的一个了 |
| [00:34.210] | 对了还有一件事，虽然听起来很扯 |
| [00:37.400] | 但我真的还没上过她，我承认我也希望这只是个玩笑 |
| [00:41.120] | 我从来没碰过她，因为她之前只和一个人上过床 |
| [00:44.390] | 虽然我很想一杆入洞 |
| [00:45.860] | 但完美女神不能强扭 |
| [00:47.630] | 所以我耐心等待，飞机解忧，但现在我心跳加速 |
| [00:51.310] | 因为她对我说今晚要给我来点不一样的 |
| [00:54.700] | 爽！听完后我整个人都斯巴达了 |
| [00:58.090] | 我要狠狠干一场，就像黑人兄弟打招呼的方式一样 |
| [01:01.230] | 但在回家的路上，我们碰到了一个神秘男人，他好像认识Kaite |
| [01:04.620] | 我问她他是谁，她回答我说，亲爱的，这是我的前男友Jim |
| [01:08.350] | 虽说我不是那种没事就吃醋的男人 |
| [01:11.220] | 但是看到他的第一眼我就被惊呆了 |
| [01:14.650] | 因为他是我这辈子见过最帅的男人了 |
| [01:20.850] | 他有着一头浓密的秀发、棱角分明的下巴、天神般的身材 |
| [01:24.870] | 这是我看过最就近希腊神袛的男人了 |
| [01:28.670] | 我看着我的女人，想着她曾经被这个男人无T内S过 |
| [01:33.680] | 我去年买了个表 |
| [01:35.900] | 这一切真是疯狂，不敢相信这个人曾经上过我的马子 |
| [01:39.660] | 我敢打赌他已经把那粉嫩的私处蹂躏成黑木耳了 |
| [01:41.960] | 对着他的肩胛骨又抱又挤的 |
| [01:44.480] | 我想想就难过，这样不好 |
| [01:46.020] | 接着他们说“一起喝一杯吧”，我只能说好 |
| [01:48.150] | 虽说我只想被上 |
| [01:49.550] | 这家伙长的真不公平，他就像艾什顿库彻和休·杰克曼的合体 |
| [01:53.210] | 换句话说，他真他妈诱人 |
| [01:54.670] | 哟黑的皮肤或许他有一点黑人血统 |
| [01:56.470] | 现在我在后面和他一起喝着小酒 |
| [01:58.320] | 最后他付的钱，他好像是银行家 |
| [01:59.890] | 我装作好像我并没什么 |
| [02:01.400] | But Ia€?m reenacting him and Katie banging 但我心中一万只草泥马想着他和Kiate在床上OOXX |
| [02:03.220] | 现在我感觉超不爽，所以我得去撒泡尿 |
| [02:06.290] | 期间我看了左边的兄弟是谁 |
| [02:09.800] | 我必须看看他的尺寸如何 |
| [02:11.740] | 所以我踮起脚尖偷偷看了一眼 |
| [02:13.690] | 我的亲爹八舅，看看那屌 |
| [02:16.530] | 我通常不是那么容易嫉妒的人 |
| [02:19.810] | 但是看着那奇尺大屌，我的狗眼都瞎了 |
| [02:23.220] | 他是我这一生中见过的J8最大的了 |
| [02:29.130] | 我仇视地盯着这根软趴趴的香蕉 |
| [02:33.310] | 八英寸多啊 这尼玛 |
| [02:36.880] | 我幼小的心灵被创伤了，我都不知道怎么面对我的女人了 |
| [02:42.660] | 哎呦我操 |
| [02:44.370] | 我不知道做什么了，那家伙J8真心大 |
| [02:47.790] | 我从没想过一根屌怎么能如此光滑动人 |
| [02:51.120] | 我知道她的B已经饥渴难耐了，但我的鸡鸡只能望B兴叹 |
| [02:54.530] | 仔细想想他的J8应该有腹肌吧 |
| [02:57.840] | Six pack on a dick, now what the fuck is that 六块腹肌的J8，我TM在想啥 |
| [03:01.160] | 它又长又粗，就像一个沙包袋 |
| [03:04.740] | 我敢说他一定修过毛，蘑菇头也堪称完美 |
| [03:06.870] | 看看我的J8就像葡萄干 |
| [03:08.280] | 他的肤色也好，下面还大得不像话 |
| [03:11.910] | 我该怎么比 |
| [03:13.590] | 如果说他的屌是豪华大餐，那我的就是垃圾快餐 |
| [03:16.960] | I think ita€?s time to tell Katie my goodbyes 我想是时候去和Kaite分手了 |
| [03:19.970] | 这尼玛我根本和人家没法比 |
| [03:21.810] | 在看过他两腿之间的怪物后，我和Kaite坦白了 |
| [03:25.500] | 我已经拜倒在你前男友的大屌之下 |
| [03:28.340] | 我甚至要伸长脖子才能从根看到头 |
| [03:31.790] | 他的屌真是大到让别的男人伤心 |
| [03:37.750] | 我想我们还是分了为好吧 |
| [03:41.970] | 因为和他啪啪啪一定是人生的一大享受吧 |
| [03:45.540] | 我们还是做普通朋友吧 |
| [03:48.280] | 但他J8的阴影始终会在我的心里挥之不去，所以再见 |
| [03:52.550] | 但她之后对我说：我不知道该说什么好 |
| [03:55.690] | 因为我只是在小学二年级和他约会过 |
| [03:56.160] | 所以他的鸡型怎么样我根本不清楚，我们还是回家爱爱吧 |
| [04:05.100] | 我欢天喜地地把她带回窝并开始亲热 |
| [04:09.920] | 我帮她口就像在吸毒一样，当我高潮时 |
| [04:14.040] | I pulled out and nutted all over her left thigh. Aww damn 我扯出J8然后幸福地S了她一屁股，爽！！！ |
| [04:20.040] | （作者：joyeux，摘自Acfun） |
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