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I'm kinda desperate. |
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You might have sensed it |
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From the tone of my voice. |
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It's a disaster. |
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I got no answers. |
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I'm kinda left with no choice. |
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I'm doing lotsa nothings |
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Here with a lot of no ones, |
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Praying for the phone. |
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This solitude is creepy. |
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It really is unpretty, |
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A grown man alone. |
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We could meet for coffee, |
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Or go to the fair. |
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I don't even like to do those things, |
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But I'm gettin' kinda desperate here. |
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Just call me! |
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[chorus:] |
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Box 27605 |
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Please leave a message while there's still time |
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Bold type print in the classified |
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Single white male seeks Mrs. Right. |
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I'm self-employed. |
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I'm not usually annoyed by any personality flaws. |
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I'm not a stalker. Excessive talker. |
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It doesn't really matter to me. |
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Whatever you're into, I'm into, that's cool. |
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We could meet for coffee, |
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Or stay at home and watch Cheers. |
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I don't even like to do those things, |
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But I'm gettin' kinda desperate here. |
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So call me! |
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[chorus] |
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I'm not getting any younger here. |
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Please call the number. |
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Anything you wanna do is fine with me. |
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Single white male seeks Mrs. Right. |
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Still, my box is empty, |
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And no one sent me any kind of reply. |
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I sit here waiting, never dating, masturbating. |
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Man, I hope I don't go blind. |
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We could meet for coffee, |
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Or go to the state fair. |
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I don't even like to do those things, |
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But I'm gettin' kinda desperate here. |
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Just call me! |
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[chorus 2x] |
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Call me! |