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Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2007, wear sunscreen |
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If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it |
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The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists |
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Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable |
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Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now |
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Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind |
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You will never understand the power |
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And the beauty of your youth until they've faded |
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But trust me, in twenty years |
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You will look back at photos of yourself |
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And recall in a way you can't grasp now |
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How much possibility lay before you |
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And how fabulous you really looked |
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You are not as fat as you imagine |
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Don't worry about the future or worry that know that worrying |
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Is as affective as trying to solve an algebra equation |
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By chewing bubble gum |
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The real troubles in your life are apt to be things |
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That never crossed your worried mind |
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The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday |
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Do one thing every day that scares you, sing |
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Don't be reckless with other peoples' hearts |
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Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours, floss |
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Don't waste your time on jealousy |
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Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind |
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The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself |
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Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults |
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If you succeed in doing this, tell me how |
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Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements, stretch |
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Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life |
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The most interesting people |
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I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives |
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Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't |
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Get plenty of calcium |
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Be kind to knees, you'll miss them when they're gone |
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Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't |
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Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't |
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Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the "Funky Chicken" |
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On your 75th wedding anniversary |
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Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much |
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Or berate yourself either |
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Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's |
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Enjoy your body, use it every way you can |
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Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it |
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It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own, dance |
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Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room |
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Read the directions even if you don't follow them |
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Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly |
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Brother and sister together will make it through |
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Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there |
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I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there for you |
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And I'll be there just helping you out, whenever I can |
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Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good |
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Be nice to your siblings, they are your best link to your past |
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And the people most likely to stick with you in the future |
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Understand that friends come and go |
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But a precious few, who should hold on |
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Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle |
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For as the older you get, the more you need the people |
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You knew when you were young |
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Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard |
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Live in northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft |
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Travel, accept certain inalienable truths |
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Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old |
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And when you do, you'll fanaticise that when you were young |
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Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble |
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And children respected their elders |
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Respect your elders, don't expect anyone else to support you |
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Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse |
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But you'll never know when either one will run out |
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Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're forty |
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It will look eighty-five |
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it |
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Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of |
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Wishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off |
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Painting over the ugly parts and recycling for more than it's worth |
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But trust me on the sunscreen |
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Brother and sister together will make it through, oh yeah |
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Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there |
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I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there for you |
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And I'll be there just helping you out, whenever I can |
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Everybody's free, oh yeah, everybody's free, oh yeah, oh, to feel good |
