| Well, if things could talk then I'm sure you'd hear | |
| A lot of things to make you cry, my dear | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Oh, ain't you glad? | |
| Ain't you glad, glad that things don't talk? | |
| Now, if shoes could tell where they've been | |
| When you say you've been visiting a friend | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Hey hey hey, ain't you glad? | |
| But ain't you glad, glad that shoes don't talk? | |
| Now, if doors could tell who's turned the knob | |
| When he's away out on his job | |
| If cars could tell who's been inside | |
| And who's been taking you out for a ride | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Mmm, ain't you glad? | |
| But ain't you glad, glad that cars don't talk? | |
| In a world of trouble I'd be | |
| If things ever told on me | |
| My whole life would be through | |
| 'Cause I'm guilty, how about you? | |
| If things ever talk that way | |
| Ain't no telling what they might say | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Oh, ain't you glad? | |
| But ain't you glad that things don't talk? | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| Ain't you glad? | |
| But ain't you glad, glad that things don't talk? |
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