| 歌曲 | Left Brain, Right Brain |
| 歌手 | Bo Burnham |
| 专辑 | what. |
| [00:00.00] | 作曲 : Bo Burnham |
| [00:00.00] | 作词 : Bo Burnham |
| [00:00.00] | Okay, we're moving way along here |
| [00:05.26] | (Hello, patient 24602) |
| [00:07.56] | I'm sorry- Hello, how are- |
| [00:08.92] | (How are you feeling?) |
| [00:10.09] | Um, not great |
| [00:11.32] | (Has the treatment been working?) |
| [00:13.20] | Uh, I don't think so, no |
| [00:14.77] | (What are your remaining symptoms?) |
| [00:16.07] | I just, I... I internalize my feelings a lot, I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people, I feel like I jus- |
| [00:21.38] | (So basically, you're still a little shit) |
| [00:23.57] | Yes, very mature of you, disembodied voice, way up there |
| [00:26.58] | (I was just joking, nigga) |
| [00:28.72] | Alright you're not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit |
| [00:31.36] | (I'm not human I can say whatever I want) |
| [00:33.05] | Alright just, just what, get to the point! What's wrong with me? Please. Please! |
| [00:37.29] | (Your emotions and your logic are at war) |
| [00:39.95] | Okay |
| [00:40.34] | (Your creativity and your analysis are at war) |
| [00:45.88] | (And most simply, your left and right brain are at war) |
| [00:48.26] | My left and my- |
| [00:48.47] | (To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other) |
| [00:52.44] | (Splitting your neurological functions in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...) |
| [00:56.36] | Well, we book an appointment or something? You don't just start counting down to major medical procedures |
| [01:01.11] | (This may hurt a bit) |
| [01:02.02] | I don't even know what "it" is! |
| [01:02.94] | Just tell me what you're-! |
| [01:13.78] | (Isolation complete) |
| [01:17.85] | (This is Bo's left brain: objective, logical, cold, analytical) |
| [01:23.29] | (Aware of patterns, aware of trends. He's efficient... and a shit) |
| [01:30.29] | (This is Bo's right brain: subjective, creative, sensory) |
| [01:35.07] | (Aware of feelings, aware of people. He's emotional... and an idiot) |
| [01:41.55] | That's your opinion, just careful with opinions |
| [01:43.43] | (Okay boys... Play nice) |
| [01:47.50] | I am the left brain, I am the left brain |
| [01:49.91] | I work really hard 'til my inevitable death brain |
| [01:53.15] | You got a job to do, you better do it right, and the right way is with the left brain's might |
| [01:59.47] | I like Oreo's and shit, yes! In that order |
| [02:04.09] | And I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3, WOODY! |
| [02:09.42] | I am the right brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful, trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love, or put my d**k in |
| [02:21.31] | Here comes a female, here comes a female |
| [02:23.89] | Puff your chest out take your phone and check your email |
| [02:27.05] | Our evolutionary purpose is to repopulate |
| [02:29.93] | So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate |
| [02:33.09] | Holy shit I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe it |
| [02:43.30] | **** |
| [02:44.40] | I am the earth, she's the glorious sun! |
| [02:48.73] | I want her to trust me and I just want her to, how do I say this, sit on my face? Sit, sit on my face! |
| [02:55.34] | Alright now right brain you're being insane |
| [02:58.09] | No left brain, I'm just being alive |
| [03:01.72] | You should try it, you might like it |
| [03:06.76] | I worked hard to give him everything he cared about |
| [03:09.50] | You were worried 'bout the things that he was scared about |
| [03:12.19] | I'm calm and collected when you act wild |
| [03:15.40] | I am the adult you are the child |
| [03:18.41] | You think you're the right one every time |
| [03:22.48] | You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all |
| [03:29.62] | Half of his problems were supposed to be mine |
| [03:33.72] | But you wanted everything I hope that you're happy 'cause he's sure not |
| [03:41.66] | Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry let me run the numbers again, um, you're a b***h |
| [03:46.36] | Name calling? Really? You're gonna just do name calling? |
| [03:48.29] | I'm not calling names alright, I'm just stating facts, and the fact is you're a quivering b***h |
| [03:51.53] | I'm the b***h? Well at least I don't play with toys still, oka |
| [03:54.46] | Rubix cubes are not toys, they keep my spatial reasoning skills sharp |
| [03:57.78] | Left brain plays with toys! Look at you, mister... You're a toy player |
| [04:02.82] | Well at least I did my ****ing job, alright? I kept him working, I kept him productive |
| [04:07.31] | You were supposed to look after him |
| [04:08.85] | You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable through all this |
| [04:11.78] | Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling! |
| [04:14.34] | If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him |
| [04:16.79] | You did this to him, he hates you I know he does. He ****ing hates you |
| [04:30.19] | Right brain, look, I'm sorry, okay? |
| [04:34.29] | No you're not... |
| [04:45.29] | Look, maybe there's something that we could do together |
| [04:52.35] | Together? |
| [04:54.41] | Take the best parts of both of us, put them together |
| [05:01.91] | I'm listening |
| [05:04.20] | It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze |
| [05:09.14] | So you could man the themes, I'll man the form |
| [05:14.03] | It's something that George Carlin did, it's something that Steve Martin did |
| [05:19.54] | It's something special that we can both perform, do you know what it is? |
| [05:25.02] | Juggling! We could juggle, and juggle our cares away! |
| [05:34.06] | It was comedy, we could do comedy together... |
| [05:36.99] | (Initiate reassembly) |
| [05:38.14] | Alright right brain, look we're gonna do comedy together, alright? We gotta do comedy! |
| [05:40.96] | Alright, alright left brain I'll do comedy with you |
| [05:42.68] | Look we can fix him like this, we're gonna make him happy again I promise, alright? |
| [05:46.68] | Left brain...! Left brain I love you! |
| [05:52.14] | I know |
| [05:54.41] | (Experimentation complete) |
| [05:56.24] | Thank you very much |
| [06:07.06] | Thank you guys for coming. It's so nice! |
| [06:08.00] | I wanted to record the CD and massing because this always been one of my favourite plays to play. |
| [06:10.84] | I played here last year enough. |
| [06:11.99] | Some people came to that one. |
| [06:13.66] | That's very nice. |
| [06:14.03] | Thanks for coming again, I appreciate it. |
| [06:16.51] | Um, there's gonna be you know this little silences in the show as I'm moving between pieces. |
| [06:19.65] | Don't feel you have to fill that silence with laughter or applause. |
| [06:22.00] | I don't want you leaving the show saying you know |
| [06:24.43] | My hands hurt from clapping. |
| [06:25.47] | My stomach hurts from laughing. |
| [06:26.60] | l just want you leaving the show thinking |
| [06:28.40] | Oh well |
| [06:32.16] | And we're on our way |
| [00:00.00] | zuò qǔ : Bo Burnham |
| [00:00.00] | zuò cí : Bo Burnham |
| [00:00.00] | Okay, we' re moving way along here |
| [00:05.26] | Hello, patient 24602 |
| [00:07.56] | I' m sorry- Hello, how are- |
| [00:08.92] | How are you feeling? |
| [00:10.09] | Um, not great |
| [00:11.32] | Has the treatment been working? |
| [00:13.20] | Uh, I don' t think so, no |
| [00:14.77] | What are your remaining symptoms? |
| [00:16.07] | I just, I. . . I internalize my feelings a lot, I have trouble articulating how I' m feeling to other people, I feel like I jus- |
| [00:21.38] | So basically, you' re still a little shit |
| [00:23.57] | Yes, very mature of you, disembodied voice, way up there |
| [00:26.58] | I was just joking, nigga |
| [00:28.72] | Alright you' re not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit |
| [00:31.36] | I' m not human I can say whatever I want |
| [00:33.05] | Alright just, just what, get to the point! What' s wrong with me? Please. Please! |
| [00:37.29] | Your emotions and your logic are at war |
| [00:39.95] | Okay |
| [00:40.34] | Your creativity and your analysis are at war |
| [00:45.88] | And most simply, your left and right brain are at war |
| [00:48.26] | My left and my- |
| [00:48.47] | To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other |
| [00:52.44] | Splitting your neurological functions in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. . . |
| [00:56.36] | Well, we book an appointment or something? You don' t just start counting down to major medical procedures |
| [01:01.11] | This may hurt a bit |
| [01:02.02] | I don' t even know what " it" is! |
| [01:02.94] | Just tell me what you' re-! |
| [01:13.78] | Isolation complete |
| [01:17.85] | This is Bo' s left brain: objective, logical, cold, analytical |
| [01:23.29] | Aware of patterns, aware of trends. He' s efficient. . . and a shit |
| [01:30.29] | This is Bo' s right brain: subjective, creative, sensory |
| [01:35.07] | Aware of feelings, aware of people. He' s emotional. . . and an idiot |
| [01:41.55] | That' s your opinion, just careful with opinions |
| [01:43.43] | Okay boys. . . Play nice |
| [01:47.50] | I am the left brain, I am the left brain |
| [01:49.91] | I work really hard ' til my inevitable death brain |
| [01:53.15] | You got a job to do, you better do it right, and the right way is with the left brain' s might |
| [01:59.47] | I like Oreo' s and shit, yes! In that order |
| [02:04.09] | And I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3, WOODY! |
| [02:09.42] | I am the right brain, I have feelings, I' m a little all over the place but I' m lustful, trustful and I' m looking for somebody to love, or put my d k in |
| [02:21.31] | Here comes a female, here comes a female |
| [02:23.89] | Puff your chest out take your phone and check your email |
| [02:27.05] | Our evolutionary purpose is to repopulate |
| [02:29.93] | So gather data now and see if she' s a possible mate |
| [02:33.09] | Holy shit I think she might be the one, there' s something about her, I just can' t describe it |
| [02:43.30] | |
| [02:44.40] | I am the earth, she' s the glorious sun! |
| [02:48.73] | I want her to trust me and I just want her to, how do I say this, sit on my face? Sit, sit on my face! |
| [02:55.34] | Alright now right brain you' re being insane |
| [02:58.09] | No left brain, I' m just being alive |
| [03:01.72] | You should try it, you might like it |
| [03:06.76] | I worked hard to give him everything he cared about |
| [03:09.50] | You were worried ' bout the things that he was scared about |
| [03:12.19] | I' m calm and collected when you act wild |
| [03:15.40] | I am the adult you are the child |
| [03:18.41] | You think you' re the right one every time |
| [03:22.48] | You think you know everything but you don' t know anything at all |
| [03:29.62] | Half of his problems were supposed to be mine |
| [03:33.72] | But you wanted everything I hope that you' re happy ' cause he' s sure not |
| [03:41.66] | Well according to my calculations, I' m sorry let me run the numbers again, um, you' re a b h |
| [03:46.36] | Name calling? Really? You' re gonna just do name calling? |
| [03:48.29] | I' m not calling names alright, I' m just stating facts, and the fact is you' re a quivering b h |
| [03:51.53] | I' m the b h? Well at least I don' t play with toys still, oka |
| [03:54.46] | Rubix cubes are not toys, they keep my spatial reasoning skills sharp |
| [03:57.78] | Left brain plays with toys! Look at you, mister. . . You' re a toy player |
| [04:02.82] | Well at least I did my ing job, alright? I kept him working, I kept him productive |
| [04:07.31] | You were supposed to look after him |
| [04:08.85] | You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable through all this |
| [04:11.78] | Now you' re trying to blame me for how he' s feeling, how he' s feeling! |
| [04:14.34] | If he' s feeling unhappy it' s because you failed him |
| [04:16.79] | You did this to him, he hates you I know he does. He ing hates you |
| [04:30.19] | Right brain, look, I' m sorry, okay? |
| [04:34.29] | No you' re not. . . |
| [04:45.29] | Look, maybe there' s something that we could do together |
| [04:52.35] | Together? |
| [04:54.41] | Take the best parts of both of us, put them together |
| [05:01.91] | I' m listening |
| [05:04.20] | It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze |
| [05:09.14] | So you could man the themes, I' ll man the form |
| [05:14.03] | It' s something that George Carlin did, it' s something that Steve Martin did |
| [05:19.54] | It' s something special that we can both perform, do you know what it is? |
| [05:25.02] | Juggling! We could juggle, and juggle our cares away! |
| [05:34.06] | It was comedy, we could do comedy together. . . |
| [05:36.99] | Initiate reassembly |
| [05:38.14] | Alright right brain, look we' re gonna do comedy together, alright? We gotta do comedy! |
| [05:40.96] | Alright, alright left brain I' ll do comedy with you |
| [05:42.68] | Look we can fix him like this, we' re gonna make him happy again I promise, alright? |
| [05:46.68] | Left brain. . . ! Left brain I love you! |
| [05:52.14] | I know |
| [05:54.41] | Experimentation complete |
| [05:56.24] | Thank you very much |
| [06:07.06] | Thank you guys for coming. It' s so nice! |
| [06:08.00] | I wanted to record the CD and massing because this always been one of my favourite plays to play. |
| [06:10.84] | I played here last year enough. |
| [06:11.99] | Some people came to that one. |
| [06:13.66] | That' s very nice. |
| [06:14.03] | Thanks for coming again, I appreciate it. |
| [06:16.51] | Um, there' s gonna be you know this little silences in the show as I' m moving between pieces. |
| [06:19.65] | Don' t feel you have to fill that silence with laughter or applause. |
| [06:22.00] | I don' t want you leaving the show saying you know |
| [06:24.43] | My hands hurt from clapping. |
| [06:25.47] | My stomach hurts from laughing. |
| [06:26.60] | l just want you leaving the show thinking |
| [06:28.40] | Oh well |
| [06:32.16] | And we' re on our way |
| [00:00.00] | hǎo ba, zhè shì er wǒ men jiù suàn guò qù le |
| [00:05.26] | nǐ hǎo, 24602 hào bìng rén bēi cǎn shì jiè zhǔ jué dāng qiú fàn shí biān hào wèi 24601 |
| [00:07.56] | bào qiàn - nǐ hǎo, zěn me - |
| [00:08.92] | nǐ gǎn jué rú hé le? |
| [00:10.09] | è, bú shì hěn hǎo |
| [00:11.32] | zhì liáo qǐ zuò yòng le ma? |
| [00:13.20] | è, wǒ gǎn jué méi yǒu shén me yòng |
| [00:14.77] | nǐ xiàn zài dōu yǒu něi xiē zhèng zhuàng? |
| [00:16.07] | wǒ zhǐ shì, wǒ. . . wǒ zǒng shì xiàng nèi zhuǎn huà zì jǐ de qíng xù, wǒ hěn nán xiàng tā rén qīng xī dì biǎo dá zì jǐ de gǎn shòu, wǒ gǎn jué wǒ - |
| [00:21.38] | suǒ yǐ guī gēn jié dǐ, nǐ yī rán shì gè xiǎo biǎo zá |
| [00:23.57] | duì duì duì, zhēn chéng shú a nǐ, háo wú rén qíng wèi de huà wài yīn, jiù gē nà shuō fēng liáng huà |
| [00:26.58] | wǒ zhǐ shì zài kāi wán xiào, hēi guǐ |
| [00:28.72] | zhù yì yán cí, Wisconsin kě méi nǐ xiǎng xiàng dé nà me ān quán |
| [00:31.36] | wǒ yòu bú shì rén lèi, wǒ xiǎng shuō shí mǒ jiù shuō shí mǒ |
| [00:33.05] | hǎo ba jiù, jiù, zhí jiē shuō zhòng diǎn! wǒ zhè shì zěn me le? bài tuō, gǎn jǐn gào sù wǒ! |
| [00:37.29] | nǐ de qíng xù hé luó jí zhèng chǎn shēng chōng tū |
| [00:39.95] | hǎo ba |
| [00:40.34] | nǐ de chuàng zào lì hé fēn xī lì zhèng chǎn shēng chōng tū |
| [00:45.88] | shuō rén huà jiù shì, nǐ de zuǒ yòu nǎo zhèng zài dǎ zhàng |
| [00:48.26] | wǒ de zuǒ nǎo hé wǒ - |
| [00:48.47] | wèi liǎo jiě jué zhè gè wèn tí, wǒ men bì xū bǎ tā men fēn lí kāi lái |
| [00:52.44] | zhèng zài fēn liè nǐ de shén jīng gōng néng, dào jì shí 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. . . |
| [00:56.36] | è, wǒ men yǒu tí qián yù yuē le shén me de ma? nǐ bù néng jiù zhè yàng zhí jiē dào jì shí jìn rù zhǔ yī liáo shǒu shù le a |
| [01:01.11] | zhè kě néng huì yǒu diǎn téng |
| [01:02.02] | wǒ dōu hái bù zhī dào " zhè " shì shá! |
| [01:02.94] | jiù gào sù wǒ nǐ dào dǐ zài -! |
| [01:13.78] | fēn lí wán chéng |
| [01:17.85] | zhè shì Bo de zuǒ nǎo : kè guān, fù yǒu luó jí, lěng kù, jù yǒu fèn xī lì |
| [01:23.29] | liǎo jiě mó shì, bǎ wò jú shì. tā zuò shì gāo xiào. . . tóng shí yě shì gè hún dàn |
| [01:30.29] | zhè shì Bo de yòu nǎo : zhǔ guān, fù yǒu chuàng zào lì, gǎn zhī mǐn ruì |
| [01:35.07] | duō chóu shàn gǎn, shú zhī rén xīn. tā hěn qíng xù huà. . . tóng shí yě shì gè chǔn dàn |
| [01:41.55] | nà zhǐ shì nǐ de yī jǐ zhī jiàn, yào zhù yì nǐ de yán cí la |
| [01:43.43] | hǎo le nǐ men liǎ. . . yāo hǎo hǎo xiāng chǔ |
| [01:47.50] | wǒ shì zuǒ nǎo, wǒ shì zuǒ nǎo |
| [01:49.91] | wǒ nǔ lì dì gōng zuò zhí dào wǒ bù kě bì miǎn dì nǎo sǐ wáng |
| [01:53.15] | nǐ yǒu gōng zuò zài shēn, nà jiù bǎ tā zuò hǎo, ér bǎ shì qing zuò hǎo de fāng fǎ jiù shì jiè zhù zuǒ nǎo de lì liàng yòng zuǒ nǎo zuò chū yòu zhèng què de shì qing |
| [01:59.47] | wǒ xǐ huan ào lì ào hé pī xiǎo māo mī, yé! hái yǒu hái yǒu! |
| [02:04.09] | wǒ hái huì zài kàn wán wán jù zǒng dòng yuán 3 de hú dí hòu zhì shǎo kū shàng yī xiǎo shí! |
| [02:09.42] | wǒ shì yòu nǎo, wǒ fù yǒu gǎn qíng, wǒ yǒu diǎn hú tú, dàn wǒ qíng yù chōng pèi, wú tiáo jiàn xìn rèn tā rén, tóng shí wǒ zài xún zhǎo néng xiāng ài de rén, yào bù rán jiù bǎ wǒ de dà gōng jī sāi jìn qù! |
| [02:21.31] | zǒu lái yī wèi nǚ xìng, zǒu lái yī wèi nǚ xìng |
| [02:23.89] | kuài tǐng qǐ xiōng táng, ná qǐ shǒu jī, jiǎn chá yóu jiàn |
| [02:27.05] | wǒ men jìn huà de mù dì jiù shì fán yǎn hòu dài |
| [02:29.93] | suǒ yǐ kuài shōu jí shù jù, kàn kàn tā shì fǒu shì wèi qián zài bàn lǚ |
| [02:33.09] | wǒ qù! wǒ jué de tā jiù shì wéi yī liǎo, tā shēn shàng hǎo xiàng yǒu mǒu xiē tè zhì, wǒ jiù shì wú yǐ yán biǎo! |
| [02:43.30] | nǎi zi e_e |
| [02:44.40] | wǒ yào shì dì qiú, tā jiù shì nà yào yǎn de tài yang! |
| [02:48.73] | wǒ kě qiú tā xìn rèn wǒ, rán hòu wǒ zhǐ xiǎng ràng tā, zhè gāi zěn me shuō ne, zuò wǒ liǎn shàng? kuài zuò, kuài zuò wǒ liǎn shàng! |
| [02:55.34] | chà bù duō de le, yòu nǎo, nǐ fēng guò tóu le |
| [02:58.09] | bù, zuǒ nǎo, wǒ zhǐ shì huó zài dāng xià |
| [03:01.72] | nǐ yīng gāi shì yī shì, yě xǔ nǐ yě huì xǐ huan ne |
| [03:06.76] | wǒ nǔ lì dì gōng zuò, gěi le tā guān xīn zài yì de yī qiè |
| [03:09.50] | nǐ què zhǐ huì chéng tiān dān yōu tā suǒ kǒng jù de shì qing |
| [03:12.19] | dāng nǐ fā diān de shí hou, wǒ zhèn dìng zì ruò, yùn chóu zài wò |
| [03:15.40] | wǒ shì gè chéng nián rén, ér nǐ jiù shì gè jù yīng |
| [03:18.41] | nǐ měi cì dōu jué de zì jǐ shì duì de nà yī fāng |
| [03:22.48] | nǐ jué de nǐ wú suǒ bù zhī, dàn nǐ qí shí yī wú suǒ zhī |
| [03:29.62] | tā yí bàn de wèn tí běn jiù yīng gāi shì wǒ lái guǎn de |
| [03:33.72] | dàn nǐ què shén me dōu xiǎng guǎn, wǒ xī wàng zhì shǎo nǐ néng kāi xīn, yīn wèi tā dào dǐ yě bú huì kuài lè de |
| [03:41.66] | xíng ba, gēn jù wǒ de jì suàn, bào qiàn, ràng wǒ zài chá yī biàn shù zì, è, nǐ jiù shì gè niáng pào |
| [03:46.36] | rén shēn gōng jī? nǐ rèn zhēn de? nǐ jiù zhǐ huì qǐ wài hào wǔ rǔ rén ma? |
| [03:48.29] | wǒ méi zài rén shēn gōng jī hǎo ma, wǒ zhǐ shì zài chén shù shì shí, ér shì shí jiù shì : nǐ shì gè dǎn xiǎo de niáng pào |
| [03:51.53] | wǒ shì niáng pào? xíng, dàn zhì shǎo wǒ yǐ jīng bù zài wán wán jù le, hǎo ba |
| [03:54.46] | mó fāng cái bú shì wán jù, tā men néng ràng wǒ de kōng jiān tuī lǐ néng lì bǎo chí mǐn ruì |
| [03:57.78] | zuǒ nǎo hái zài wán wán jù éi! qiáo qiáo nǐ, xiān sheng. . . nǐ jiù shì gè pò wán wán jù de |
| [04:02.82] | xíng, dàn zhì shǎo wǒ jìn zhí jìn lì le, hǎo ma? wǒ ràng tā gōng zuò, wǒ ràng tā duō chǎn! |
| [04:07.31] | nǐ běn yīng gāi zhào gu tā de |
| [04:08.85] | nǐ běn yīng gāi zhè guò chéng zhōng ràng tā bǎo chí qíng xù wěn dìng de |
| [04:11.78] | xiàn zài nǐ hái xiǎng bǎ tā de qíng xù wèn tí guài zuì yú wǒ, tā de gǎn shòu shì ba! |
| [04:14.34] | yào shì tā jué de bù kuài lè, nà jiù shì yīn wèi nǐ ràng tā shī wàng le |
| [04:16.79] | shì nǐ bǎ tā gǎo chéng zhè yàng de, tā tǎo yàn nǐ! wǒ zhī dào tā zěn me xiǎng de. tā tè me de hèn sǐ nǐ le a! |
| [04:30.19] | yòu nǎo, tīng zhe, wǒ hěn bào qiàn, xíng ma? |
| [04:34.29] | bù, nǐ dōu bú shì zhēn xīn de. . . |
| [04:45.29] | tīng zhe, yě xǔ yǒu xiē shì shì wǒ men hái shì néng yì qǐ hé zuò de |
| [04:52.35] | yì qǐ ma? |
| [04:54.41] | qǔ chū wǒ men gè zì de cháng chù, jiāng tā men jié hé zài yì qǐ |
| [05:01.91] | wǒ tīng zhe ne |
| [05:04.20] | zhè néng ràng nǐ fā xiè qíng xù, yě néng ràng wǒ lǐ zhì fēn xī |
| [05:09.14] | zhè yàng nǐ jiù kě yǐ bǎ wò zhǔ tí, wǒ yě néng kòng zhì xíng shì |
| [05:14.03] | zhè jiù xiàng George Carlin zuò guò de nà yàng, jiù xiàng Steve Martin zuò guò de nà yàng |
| [05:19.54] | gèng shì wǒ men néng yì qǐ chéng xiàn de tè bié de shì, nǐ zhī dào shì shén me ma? |
| [05:25.02] | zá shuǎ ma! wǒ men kě yǐ wán zá shuǎ, rán hòu bǎ zán men de fán nǎo dōu shuǎ zǒu! |
| [05:34.06] | wǒ shuō de shì xǐ jù a, wǒ men kě yǐ yì qǐ zuò xǐ jù. . . |
| [05:36.99] | jí jiāng qǐ dòng chóng zǔ |
| [05:38.14] | hǎo le tīng zhe yòu nǎo, wǒ men yào yì qǐ zuò xǐ jù, dǒng le méi? wǒ men dé zuò xǐ jù! |
| [05:40.96] | hǎo de, hǎo de, zuǒ nǎo, wǒ yào hé nǐ zuò xǐ jù |
| [05:42.68] | tīng zhe, wǒ men kě yǐ zhào zhè yàng zhì hǎo tā, wǒ bǎo zhèng wǒ men néng ràng tā chóng huò kuài lè, hǎo ma? |
| [05:46.68] | zuǒ nǎo. . . ! zuǒ nǎo wǒ ài nǐ! |
| [05:52.14] | wǒ zhī dào. xīng zhàn 2 gěng |
| [05:54.41] | shì yàn wán chéng |
| [05:56.24] | fēi cháng gǎn xiè |
| [06:07.06] | gǎn xiè nǐ men de dào lái. zhè zhēn de hěn hǎo! |
| [06:08.00] | wǒ xiǎng lù zhì CD rán hòu zuò gè zhuān jí, yīn wèi zhè chǎng xiù yì zhí shì wǒ zuì xǐ huan biǎo yǎn de jié mù xiù zhī yī |
| [06:10.84] | wǒ qù nián zài zhè ér biǎo yǎn dé gòu duō le |
| [06:11.99] | nǐ men yǒu xiē rén jiù qù guò nà cì yǎn chū |
| [06:13.66] | zhè zhēn de tǐng hǎo de |
| [06:14.03] | zài cì gǎn xiè nǐ men de dào lái, wǒ fēi cháng gǎn jī |
| [06:16.51] | è, zài yǎn chū qī jiān wǒ lái huí zǒu dòng shí, zhè lǐ zǒng huì yǒu, nǐ dǒng de, zhè zhǒng chén mò de xiǎo kòng xì |
| [06:19.65] | nǐ men bù bì xiǎng zhe yòng xiào shēng hé zhǎng shēng tián bǔ chén mò de kòng yú shí jiān |
| [06:22.00] | wǒ bù xī wàng nǐ yǎn chū jié shù lí kāi hòu shuō, nǐ dǒng de |
| [06:24.43] | wǒ de shǒu pāi dé hǎo tòng |
| [06:25.47] | wǒ de dǔ zi xiào dé hǎo téng |
| [06:26.60] | wǒ zhǐ xiǎng ràng nǐ yǎn chū jié shù hòu xiǎng zhe |
| [06:28.40] | è, hǎo ba, yě jiù nà yàng ba |
| [06:32.16] | ér wǒ men xiàn zài chà bù duō yǐ jīng zài zhè yàng xiǎng le |