| 歌曲 | Poems |
| 歌手 | Bo Burnham |
| 专辑 | what. |
| [00:00.000] | 作曲 : Bo Burnham |
| [00:00.000] | 作词 : Bo Burnham |
| [00:00.000] | I believe there is nothing more manly one can do than take a shower with five other guys. It's true, it's not a joke, it's early cavemen, you know. |
| [00:06.046] | Cro-Magnon wandering through the fog, you know, scrubbing five other sapiens, no homo |
| [00:11.243] | I wanna do a poem for you, some poems for you, right now. I've got the chimes: |
| [00:16.953] | Ooh, a genie just came! Alright, um... |
| [00:23.581] | Now that we're a little halfway through the show, I'd sorta like to take the pressure off you, the audience, and just read some serious poetry, then we'll kinda go back to the giggles. |
| [00:32.457] | This is from my book, "Egghead", that some of you may already have, or, something, so I won't keep it too long, in case, you know, some of you have heard this stuff, but, uh... |
| [00:40.343] | Just sit back and enjoy, uh, this, uh, poetry |
| [00:43.306] | "Roses are gray |
| [00:44.250] | Violets are a different shade of gray |
| [00:45.773] | Let's go chase cars." |
| [00:46.846] | That's by a dog |
| [00:53.435] | This is a poem about women's bodies, and the ability to transform your body issues, and transcend them: |
| [00:59.742] | "Martha was ugly, like a shaven baboon |
| [01:02.140] | So she wrapped herself up in a curtain cocoon |
| [01:04.546] | And after a week, she finally emerged |
| [01:06.592] | She smelled like shit. What a psycho." |
| [01:10.439] | You can't transcend them, I guess that's the moral |
| [01:14.026] | "Me, with my strange choice of adjectives |
| [01:17.531] | You, with your muscular teeth |
| [01:19.832] | And clockwise v****a." |
| [01:28.461] | "You're incomparable, like a... |
| [01:30.870] | Yeah, that's the word" |
| [01:36.524] | "I wanna beat you to death with a blunt object |
| [01:39.596] | I wanna grab one of those high-end fashion mannequins by the ankles and bash your ribcage in |
| [01:44.789] | I wanna sharpen 50 pencils, bind them with a rubber band, stick the lead end in your mouth and punch the erasers |
| [01:51.723] | I wanna strap you to a bed of nails, then strap that bed of nails to the hood of my car so I can watch you suffer as we drive over speed bumps in a mall parking lot during an earthquake |
| [02:00.554] | I want you to somehow survive a terrible car crash and somehow not survive a small fender-bender on the way back from the hospital." |
| [02:07.080] | That's called "Dad" |
| [02:13.182] | "If I had a million dollars, I'd pay your mother to have sex with me |
| [02:16.494] | Afterwards, probably I'd invest in the remaining $999,990" |
| [02:20.649] | $10 for sex with your mother! Comedy! |
| [02:25.409] | I can see the light in your face, b***h! Stop texting! |
| [02:28.058] | Um, it's just a comment for someone in the crowd... It's your time, do what you want. And the texting won't show on the CD, so, that's okay. |
| [02:36.261] | Now look what I've done |
| [02:40.110] | And finally... |
| [02:41.657] | "Mid-October, with leaves spilled like colored pencil shavings |
| [02:45.744] | The streets dicing our town into neat, unfair portions |
| [02:50.620] | And me, eatin' that p***y, baby |
| [02:53.571] | Thank you so mu— |
| [03:01.590] | Oh, man, thank you guys so much, thank you for being a part of this, coming to the show, uh... |
| [03:08.450] | I just need one person's enthusiasm, that's all I need to carry me |
| [03:11.467] | "Oh, ow! I'm turned on and hurt!" |
| [03:13.764] | Um, I, so, I am so grateful to you coming here, I know I keep saying that, it sounds redundant, but, uh, my gratefulness is redundant, so, um, but, uh... |
| [00:00.000] | zuò qǔ : Bo Burnham |
| [00:00.000] | zuò cí : Bo Burnham |
| [00:00.000] | I believe there is nothing more manly one can do than take a shower with five other guys. It' s true, it' s not a joke, it' s early cavemen, you know. |
| [00:06.046] | Cro-Magnon wandering through the fog, you know, scrubbing five other sapiens, no homo |
| [00:11.243] | I wanna do a poem for you, some poems for you, right now. I' ve got the chimes: |
| [00:16.953] | Ooh, a genie just came! Alright, um. . . |
| [00:23.581] | Now that we' re a little halfway through the show, I' d sorta like to take the pressure off you, the audience, and just read some serious poetry, then we' ll kinda go back to the giggles. |
| [00:32.457] | This is from my book, " Egghead", that some of you may already have, or, something, so I won' t keep it too long, in case, you know, some of you have heard this stuff, but, uh. . . |
| [00:40.343] | Just sit back and enjoy, uh, this, uh, poetry |
| [00:43.306] | " Roses are gray |
| [00:44.250] | Violets are a different shade of gray |
| [00:45.773] | Let' s go chase cars. " |
| [00:46.846] | That' s by a dog |
| [00:53.435] | This is a poem about women' s bodies, and the ability to transform your body issues, and transcend them: |
| [00:59.742] | " Martha was ugly, like a shaven baboon |
| [01:02.140] | So she wrapped herself up in a curtain cocoon |
| [01:04.546] | And after a week, she finally emerged |
| [01:06.592] | She smelled like shit. What a psycho. " |
| [01:10.439] | You can' t transcend them, I guess that' s the moral |
| [01:14.026] | " Me, with my strange choice of adjectives |
| [01:17.531] | You, with your muscular teeth |
| [01:19.832] | And clockwise v a. " |
| [01:28.461] | " You' re incomparable, like a. . . |
| [01:30.870] | Yeah, that' s the word" |
| [01:36.524] | " I wanna beat you to death with a blunt object |
| [01:39.596] | I wanna grab one of those high-end fashion mannequins by the ankles and bash your ribcage in |
| [01:44.789] | I wanna sharpen 50 pencils, bind them with a rubber band, stick the lead end in your mouth and punch the erasers |
| [01:51.723] | I wanna strap you to a bed of nails, then strap that bed of nails to the hood of my car so I can watch you suffer as we drive over speed bumps in a mall parking lot during an earthquake |
| [02:00.554] | I want you to somehow survive a terrible car crash and somehow not survive a small fender-bender on the way back from the hospital. " |
| [02:07.080] | That' s called " Dad" |
| [02:13.182] | " If I had a million dollars, I' d pay your mother to have sex with me |
| [02:16.494] | Afterwards, probably I' d invest in the remaining 999, 990" |
| [02:20.649] | 10 for sex with your mother! Comedy! |
| [02:25.409] | I can see the light in your face, b h! Stop texting! |
| [02:28.058] | Um, it' s just a comment for someone in the crowd. . . It' s your time, do what you want. And the texting won' t show on the CD, so, that' s okay. |
| [02:36.261] | Now look what I' ve done |
| [02:40.110] | And finally. . . |
| [02:41.657] | " Mid-October, with leaves spilled like colored pencil shavings |
| [02:45.744] | The streets dicing our town into neat, unfair portions |
| [02:50.620] | And me, eatin' that p y, baby |
| [02:53.571] | Thank you so mu |
| [03:01.590] | Oh, man, thank you guys so much, thank you for being a part of this, coming to the show, uh. . . |
| [03:08.450] | I just need one person' s enthusiasm, that' s all I need to carry me |
| [03:11.467] | " Oh, ow! I' m turned on and hurt! " |
| [03:13.764] | Um, I, so, I am so grateful to you coming here, I know I keep saying that, it sounds redundant, but, uh, my gratefulness is redundant, so, um, but, uh. . . |
| [00:00.000] | wǒ xiāng xìn méi yǒu shén me bǐ hé wǔ gè gē men yì qǐ xǐ zǎo gèng yé men de shì le. zhēn de, bú shì wán xiào, zhè shì zǎo qī xué jū rén de chuán tǒng, nǐ dǒng de. |
| [00:06.046] | kè luó mǎ nóng rén zài wù zhōng màn bù, nǐ dǒng de, cuō xǐ zhe wǔ gè zhì rén tóng bàn, jué fēi jī qíng |
| [00:11.243] | wǒ xiǎng wèi nǐ lǎng sòng shǒu shī, jiù xiàn zài. wǒ yǐ bèi hǎo fēng líng : |
| [00:16.953] | ō, jīng líng gāng xiǎn líng! hǎo ba, . . . |
| [00:23.581] | jì rán yǎn chū yǐ guò bàn, wǒ xiǎng tì guān zhòng men fàng sōng xià yā lì, xiān niàn xiē yán sù shī gē, dāi hui zài jì xù gǎo xiào. |
| [00:32.457] | zhè shǒu chū zì wǒ nà běn dàn tóu shī jí, kě néng yǒu rén yǐ jīng mǎi le, suǒ yǐ bú huì niàn tài jiǔ, bì jìng yǒu rén kě néng tīng guò. . . |
| [00:40.343] | qǐng fàng sōng xīn shǎng zhè duàn, è, shī gē |
| [00:43.306] | " méi guī shì huī de |
| [00:44.250] | zǐ luó lán shì lìng yī zhǒng huī |
| [00:45.773] | wǒ men qù zhuī chē ba " |
| [00:46.846] | zhè shì gǒu xiě de shī |
| [00:53.435] | zhè shì shǒu guān yú nǚ xìng shēn tǐ, yǐ jí chāo yuè shēn tǐ jiāo lǜ de shī : |
| [00:59.742] | " mǎ shā chǒu dé xiàng tì máo fèi fèi |
| [01:02.140] | jiù bǎ zì jǐ guǒ chéng chuāng lián jiǎn |
| [01:04.546] | yī zhōu hòu pò jiǎn ér chū |
| [01:06.592] | hún shēn è chòu. zhēn shi gè fēng zi " |
| [01:10.439] | kàn lái wú fǎ chāo yuè, zhè jiù shì yù yì |
| [01:14.026] | " wǒ, yòng zhe guǐ yì de xíng róng cí |
| [01:17.531] | nǐ, zhǎng zhe jī ròu fā dá de yá chǐ |
| [01:19.832] | hé shùn shí zhēn de " |
| [01:28.461] | " nǐ jǔ shì wú shuāng, jiù xiàng. . . |
| [01:30.870] | duì, jiù shì zhè gè xíng róng " |
| [01:36.524] | " wǒ xiǎng yòng dùn qì bǎ nǐ dǎ sǐ |
| [01:39.596] | xiǎng zhuā zhe gāo dàng mó tè jiǎ rén de jiǎo huái zá suì nǐ de lèi gǔ |
| [01:44.789] | xiǎng bǎ wǔ shí zhī qiān bǐ xiāo jiān kǔn hǎo, qiān xīn chā jìn nǐ zuǐ lǐ rán hòu měng chuō xiàng pí duān |
| [01:51.723] | xiǎng bǎ nǐ dīng zài dīng chuáng shàng, zài bǎ dīng chuáng bǎng zài chē tóu, hǎo kàn zhe nǐ zài shāng chǎng tíng chē chǎng dì zhèn shí de jiǎn sù dài shàng shòu kǔ |
| [02:00.554] | pàn nǐ cóng yán zhòng chē huò zhōng shēng huán, què zài yī yuàn fǎn chéng de xiǎo zhuī wěi zhōng sàng mìng " |
| [02:07.080] | zhè shǒu shī jiào fù qīn |
| [02:13.182] | " ruò wǒ yǒu yì bǎi wàn měi yuán, huì fù qián ràng nǐ mǔ qīn péi wǒ shuì |
| [02:16.494] | shì hòu dà gài huì bǎ shèng xià de 999, 990 měi yuán ná qù tóu zī " |
| [02:20.649] | huā 10 měi yuán shuì nǐ mā! xǐ jù! |
| [02:25.409] | wǒ kàn de jiàn nǐ liǎn shàng de guāng, jiàn rén! bié wán shǒu jī le! |
| [02:28.058] | zhǐ shì tí xǐng xià mǒu wèi guān zhòng. . . zhè shì nǐ de shí jiān, qǐng zì biàn. fǎn zhèng CD lǐ bú huì xiǎn shì duǎn xìn jì lù. |
| [02:36.261] | xiàn zài kàn kàn wǒ gàn le shén me |
| [02:40.110] | zuì hòu. . . |
| [02:41.657] | " shí yuè zhōng xún, luò yè xiàng cǎi sè qiān bǐ xiè pù mǎn dì |
| [02:45.744] | jiē dào jiāng chéng zhèn fēn gē chéng zhěng qí ér bù gōng de qū kuài |
| [02:50.620] | ér wǒ, zhèng chī zhe bǎo bèi nǐ de mì táo |
| [02:53.571] | fēi cháng gǎn xiè |
| [03:01.590] | tiān a, tài gǎn xiè gè wèi le, xiè xie cān yù zhè chǎng yǎn chū. . . |
| [03:08.450] | zhǐ xū yào yí gè rén de rè qíng jiù néng zhī chēng wǒ jì xù |
| [03:11.467] | " ō, tòng! wǒ yòu tòng yòu xīng fèn! " |
| [03:13.764] | wǒ zhēn de hěn gǎn jī nǐ men dào lái, suī rán zhè huà hěn chóng fù, dàn wǒ de gǎn jī běn jiù shì chóng fù de. . . |