| [00:03.000] |
No way! bú huì ba! |
| [00:04.420] |
The most romantic song ever was " The Way We Were." wǒ huì rèn wéi zuì làng màn de qǔ zi shì" qiào láng jūn" |
| [00:07.460] |
I think the one that Elton John wrote for that guy on Who' s the Boss? wǒ jué de shì ài ěr dùn qiáng bāng yǎn" miào guǎn jiā" de jiā huǒ xiě de gē |
| [00:14.700] |
What song was that? nà shi shén me gē? |
| [00:16.700] |
Hold me close Young Tony Danza " bào jǐn wǒ, nián qīng de tāng ní dān zuǒ" |
| [00:24.810] |
Hi, Monica. Hi, Mon. mó nī kǎ mó nī kǎ |
| [00:29.850] |
Oh, my God! tiān a |
| [00:31.480] |
Has she slept at all? tā dào dǐ yǒu méi yǒu shuì jiào? |
| [00:33.520] |
It' s been three nights in a row. méi yǒu yǐ jīng lián xù sān ge wǎn shàng le |
| [00:35.450] |
She finally stopped crying yesterday. cóng zuó tiān qǐ, tā zhōng yú bù kū le |
| [00:37.620] |
But then she found one of Richard' s cigar butts on the terrace.... dàn shì tā yòu zài yáng tái fā xiàn lǐ chá chōu guò de xuě jiā |
| [00:45.460] |
... and all I could hear was this squeaky sound. ér wǒ zhǐ néng tīng dào yī xiē zhī zhī de shēng yīn |
| [00:48.100] |
So I thought, " It' s a mouse or a possum." wǒ jiù xiǎng" yí dìng shì lǎo shǔ huò fù shǔ" |
| [00:52.340] |
Then I realized, like, okay... rán hòu wǒ jiù xiǎng, hǎo ba |
| [00:54.640] |
... where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call? lǎo shǔ huò fù shǔ zěn me huì yǒu qián dǎ diàn huà ne? |
| [01:02.550] |
Morning. Morning. zǎo ān zǎo a |
| [01:05.220] |
You made pancakes? nǐ zuò le sōng bǐng a? |
| [01:11.290] |
Monica and Rachel had syrup mó nī kǎ hé ruì qiū yǒu táng jiāng |
| [01:15.190] |
Now I can get my man to cheer up wǒ kě yǐ ràng wǒ de nán rén kāi xīn le |
| [01:20.360] |
Good morning, Joey. zǎo ān, qiáo yī |
| [01:21.830] |
Good morning. zǎo ān |
| [01:24.400] |
Why don' t you stay home from work and just hang out with me? nǐ gān cuì bié qù shàng bān gēn wǒ zài yì qǐ jiù hǎo le |
| [01:28.510] |
Oh, I wish. shì a, dàn yuàn rú cǐ |
| [01:29.640] |
You have that report to finish, and I' ve got to see my lawyer. nǐ yǒu bào gào yào zuò ér wǒ dé qù jiàn lǜ shī |
| [01:33.710] |
I can' t believe I date a girl who' s getting divorced. wǒ zhēn bù gǎn xiāng xìn wǒ jìng gēn yào lí hūn de nǚ shēng yuē huì |
| [01:36.550] |
I' m such a grownup. wǒ zhēn xiàng gè dà rén |
| [01:39.500] |
I gotta go, I gotta go. wǒ yào zǒu le |
| [01:41.500] |
Not without a kiss. gěi wǒ gè wěn cái néng zǒu |
| [01:42.520] |
Maybe I won' t kiss you so you' ll stay. huò zhě wǒ jiù bù qīn nǐ zhè yàng nǐ jiù huì liú xià lái |
| [01:44.820] |
Kiss her. Kiss her! kuài qīn tā |
| [01:48.990] |
I' ll see you later, sweetie. Bye, Joey. wǎn diǎn jiàn, tián xīn zài jiàn, qiáo yī |
| [01:51.600] |
Byebye, Janice. zài jiàn, zhēn nī sī |
| [01:55.830] |
When are you dumping her? nǐ shén me shí hòu yào shuǎi diào tā? |
| [01:57.570] |
Nope. bú huì |
| [01:58.870] |
Not this time. zhè cì bú huì le |
| [02:00.570] |
Come on, quit yanking me. bài tuō, bié zhěng wǒ le |
| [02:06.800] |
I' m not yanking you. wǒ yòu méi yǒu zhěng nǐ |
| [02:09.250] |
This is Janice. Yeah, I know. zhè gè shì zhēn nī sī duì, wǒ zhī dào |
| [02:11.520] |
She makes me happy. tā ràng wǒ hěn yú kuài |
| [02:16.550] |
You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking... hǎo, nǐ kàn zhe wǒ de yǎn jīng gào sù wǒ, bù kě yǐ zhǎ yǎn jīng |
| [02:20.220] |
... that you' re not breaking up with her. No blinking. shuō nǐ bú huì gēn tā fēn shǒu bié zhǎ yǎn jīng |
| [02:25.960] |
I' m not breaking up with her! wǒ bú huì gēn tā fēn shǒu! |
| [02:36.270] |
God, look what I found in the drain! tiān a, nǐ kàn wǒ zài pái shuǐ guǎn lǐ fā xiàn shén me? |
| [02:39.110] |
What? shén me? |
| [02:41.310] |
It' s some of Richard' s hair! zhèi xiē shì lǐ chá de tóu fà! |
| [02:44.800] |
What do I do with this? wǒ gāi ná zhèi xiē zěn me bàn? |
| [02:45.720] |
Getting it away from me would be job one. dì yī jiàn shì jiù shì bǎ tā cóng wǒ shēn biān ná kāi |
| [02:49.790] |
It' s weird, but I don' t want to throw this away. qí guài, dàn wǒ bìng bù xiǎng bǎ tā diū diào |
| [02:53.160] |
This is all I have left of him. zhèi xiē shì wǒ jǐn yǒu de shǔ yú tā de dōng xī |
| [02:55.330] |
Gross... ě xīn de |
| [02:57.590] |
... drain hair. pái shuǐ guǎn de tóu fà |
| [03:05.140] |
Cool! It looks like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. zhēn hǎo wán, hǎo xiàng yǒu yí gè xiǎo rén zài nǐ de mài piàn lǐ yān sǐ le |
| [03:12.980] |
What is wrong with me? You need to get some sleep. wǒ shì zěn me le? nǐ xū yào yī xiē shuì mián |
| [03:16.250] |
I need to get some Richard. wǒ xū yào de shì lǐ chá |
| [03:21.150] |
You broke up with him for a reason. nǐ gēn tā fēn shǒu shì yǒu yuán yīn de |
| [03:23.520] |
I know. I know. I' m just so tired of missing him. wǒ zhī dào wǒ zhǐ shì bù xiǎng zài zhè me xiǎng tā |
| [03:27.700] |
Tired of wondering why he hasn' t called. Why hasn' t he? bù yuàn zài qù xiǎng, tā wèi hé bù dǎ lái? tā wèi hé dōu méi dǎ lái? |
| [03:31.300] |
Maybe because you told him not to? kě néng yīn wèi nǐ jiào tā bié zài dǎ lái? |
| [03:33.860] |
What are you, the Memory Woman? nǐ dào dǐ shì shén me? jì yì nǚ wáng ma? |
| [03:38.140] |
They' re not breaking up! Chandler and Janice? tā men bú huì fēn shǒu! wǒ shì shuō qián dé hé zhēn nī sī |
| [03:40.370] |
They' re not breaking up! He didn' t blink! tā men bú huì fēn shǒu! tā de yǎn jīng lián zhǎ yī xià dū méi yǒu |
| [03:44.270] |
I' m not surprised. Have you seen them together? wǒ yì diǎn yě bù jīng yà nǐ kàn guò tā men zài yì qǐ de yàng zi ma? |
| [03:47.100] |
They' re really cute. tā men zhēn de hǎo kě ài |
| [03:48.380] |
" Cute"? This is Janice! " kě ài?" nà kě shì zhēn nī sī! |
| [03:51.550] |
You remember Janice? nǐ jì de zhēn nī sī ma? |
| [03:53.200] |
Yes, I remember. She' s annoying. But you know what? wǒ jì de a, tā hěn rě rén yàn dàn shì nǐ zhī dào ma? |
| [03:55.790] |
She' s his girlfriend now. I mean, what can we do? tā xiàn zài shì tā de nǚ péng yǒu nà wǒ men néng zěn me bàn? |
| [04:04.360] |
All right, who' s first, huh? Ross? hǎo, shuí xiān lái? luó sī? |
| [04:07.300] |
Chandler' s our friend, and Janice makes him happy. qián dé shì wǒ men de péng yǒu ér zhēn nī sī néng ràng tā kuài lè |
| [04:09.870] |
So I say we be adult about it and accept her. suǒ yǐ wǒ men jiù chéng shú diǎn, jiē shòu tā |
| [04:12.800] |
We' ll call that Plan B. zhè gè xiān guī lèi zài B jì huà |
| [04:37.600] |
Honey... tián xīn |
| [04:38.400] |
... I was wondering... wǒ zài xiǎng a |
| [04:40.500] |
... do you still have that Navy uniform? nǐ nà tào hǎi jūn zhì fú hái zài ma? |
| [04:46.200] |
No, I had to return it to the costume place. bù, wǒ ná qù xì fú diàn hái le |
| [04:49.740] |
I think I have an old band uniform from high school. wǒ hái yǒu yī tào gāo zhōng yuè tuán de jiù zhì fú |
| [04:53.340] |
You remember not having sex in high school, right? nǐ jì de gāo zhōng shí bù néng zuò ài ba? shì a |
| [05:01.550] |
Well, honey, what about you? tián xīn, nà me nǐ ne |
| [05:05.620] |
Do you have any fun, you know, fantasytype things? nǐ yǒu rèn hé yǒu qù de huàn xiǎng ma? |
| [05:14.630] |
Come on. You gotta have one. bié zhè yàng, nǐ yí dìng yǒu |
| [05:17.600] |
Nope. méi yǒu |
| [05:19.570] |
You know what? luó sī, nǐ zhī dào ma? |
| [05:21.370] |
If you tell me, I might do it. rú guǒ nǐ gēn wǒ shuō huò xǔ wǒ huì bāng nǐ shí xiàn |
| [05:36.620] |
Did you ever see Return of the Jedi? nǐ yǒu méi yǒu kàn guò xīng jì dà zhàn de " jué dì dà fǎn gōng"? |
| [05:49.500] |
Do you remember the scene... nǐ jì bù jì de nà chǎng xì |
| [05:53.800] |
... with Jabba the Hutt? dāng hè tè zú de jiǎ bà chū xiàn shí? |
| [05:58.100] |
Well, Jabba had as his prisoner... jiǎ bà hé tā de qiú fàn |
| [06:02.110] |
... Princess Leia. lì yà gōng zhǔ |
| [06:07.450] |
Princess Leia was wearing... lì yà gōng zhǔ chuān zhe |
| [06:11.190] |
... this gold bikini thing. jīn sè de bǐ jī ní |
| [06:16.190] |
It was pretty cool. nà yàng zi hěn hǎo kàn |
| [06:20.960] |
Princess Leia and the gold bikini? Every guy our age loved that. lì yà gōng zhǔ chuān jīn sè bǐ jī ní? wǒ men zhè nián jì de nán rén dōu hěn xǐ huān |
| [06:26.840] |
Really? zhēn de ma? |
| [06:29.400] |
It' s huge! That' s the moment when she stopped being a princess... hěn zhòng yào de! nà gè shí kè, tā bù zài shì gè gōng zhǔ |
| [06:32.940] |
... and she became, like, you know, a woman. tā biàn chéng le yí gè nǚ rén |
| [06:37.550] |
Did you ever do the Leia thing? nǐ céng bàn guò lì yà gōng zhǔ ma? |
| [06:46.120] |
Really? That great, huh? zhēn de ma? yǒu nà me bàng a? |
| [06:49.600] |
No, it' s just that I got this new pager, and I have it on " vibrate." bù, zhǐ shì wǒ mǎi le xīn de hū jiào qì wǒ bǎ tā diào chéng" zhèn dòng" |
| [06:57.230] |
See you. zài jiàn |
| [07:00.200] |
Hi, you guys! nǐ men hǎo a |
| [07:01.340] |
Look who I found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon... nǐ kàn wǒ zài zhōng guó lóng cān tīng wài zhǎo dào shuí le? |
| [07:04.640] |
... staring at a parking meter. tā dīng zhe tíng chē shōu fèi biǎo kàn |
| [07:11.580] |
Why aren' t you at work? Oh, they sent me home. nǐ zěn me méi qù shàng bān? tā men bǎ wǒ sòng huí jiā le |
| [07:15.200] |
Why? wèi shí me? |
| [07:16.720] |
Because I don' t work at the Szechuan Dragon. yīn wèi wǒ bìng bú shì zài zhōng guó lóng cān tīng shàng bān |
| [07:19.700] |
You really need to get some sleep. nǐ zhēn de xū yào shuì yī xià |
| [07:22.600] |
I know I do. wǒ zhī dào gāi shuì le |
| [07:25.600] |
Guess what? They published my paper. nǐ cāi zěn me zhāo? yǒu rén yào fā xíng wǒ de lùn wén |
| [07:27.330] |
Really? Let me see, let me see! zhēn de ma? ràng wǒ kàn kàn |
| [07:30.530] |
Rach, look! ruì qiū, nǐ kàn! |
| [07:37.740] |
Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me? wǒ nà qiáng zhuàng de luó sī tiān xíng zhě hé shí huì lái zhěng jiù wǒ? |
| [07:47.500] |
There he is! tā lái le! |
| [07:53.590] |
Wheel! Of! xìng yùn de! |
| [07:54.620] |
Fortune! lún pán! |
| [07:57.560] |
This guy' s so stupid. zhè gè jiā huǒ hǎo bèn |
| [07:59.600] |
It' s Count Rushmore! shì" luó sī mò ěr" gōng jué la |
| [08:04.800] |
You should really go on this show. nǐ zhēn de gāi qù cān jiā zhè gè jié mù |
| [08:08.570] |
I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What do you say? wǒ yǒu sān zhāng jīn wǎn yóu qí bīng duì de piào nǐ jué de rú hé? |
| [08:12.580] |
I say I am there! wǒ yí dìng qù! |
| [08:14.640] |
Cool! tài bàng le! |
| [08:15.910] |
Is Ross going too? luó sī yě huì qù ma? |
| [08:19.250] |
Janice? zhēn nī sī? |
| [08:22.390] |
Because I just feel bad for Ross, you know? yīn wèi wǒ huì tì luó sī nán guò nǐ zhī dào ma? |
| [08:25.820] |
We always go together. We' re like The Three Hockeyteers, you know? wǒ men zǒng shì yì qǐ qù de wǒ men shì qū gùn qiú sān xiōng dì a |
| [08:30.990] |
I may be way out on a limb here, but do you have a problem with Janice? wǒ kě néng wù huì nǐ le dàn nǐ shì fǒu bù xǐ huān zhēn nī sī? |
| [08:35.630] |
No! méi yǒu |
| [08:37.970] |
Yes.... duì la |
| [08:39.900] |
Oh, God, how do I say this? tiān a, wǒ gāi zěn me shuō? |
| [08:45.910] |
You know that girl from the restaurant with the hair? nǐ zhī dào xī là cān tīng lǐ nà gè tóu fà hěn péng de nǚ hái zi? |
| [08:48.610] |
That girl that I hate? She drives me crazy. nà gè wǒ hěn tǎo yàn de nǚ hái zi? tā kuài bǎ wǒ bī fēng le |
| [08:53.980] |
Look, I don' t hate Janice. She' s just a lot to take, you know? tīng zhe, wǒ bù tǎo yàn zhēn nī sī zhǐ shì tā lìng rén nán yǐ rěn shòu |
| [09:00.700] |
Well, there you go. nǐ shuō chū lái le ba |
| [09:03.260] |
Don' t look at me like that. bié nà yàng kàn zhe wǒ |
| [09:05.260] |
She drove you nuts before, remember? yǐ qián tā yě kuài bǎ nǐ bī fēng le jì de ma? |
| [09:07.760] |
I' m crazy about her now. This could be the real thing. dàn shì wǒ xiàn zài wèi tā fēng kuáng zhè cì kě néng shì lái zhēn de |
| [09:11.170] |
Capital R, capital T! wǒ shì shuō" zhēn de" |
| [09:15.340] |
Don' t worry, those are the right letters. bié dān xīn, wǒ shuō de zì mǔ shì duì de |
| [09:18.780] |
Look, what do you want me to say? nǐ dào dǐ yào wǒ shuō shí mǒ? |
| [09:22.780] |
I want you to say that you like her! wǒ yào nǐ shuō nǐ xǐ huān tā! |
| [09:25.380] |
I can' t. It' s like a chemical thing. wǒ shuō bu chū lái zhè zhǒng xiàng shì yī zhǒng huà xué zuò yòng |
| [09:27.720] |
Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna... měi cì tā yī kāi shǐ xiào, wǒ jiù xiǎng |
| [09:33.220] |
... pull my arm off so I have something to throw at her. xiǎng bǎ wǒ de shǒu bì bá xià lái wǒ jiù néng wǎng tā shēn shàng zá |
| [09:38.900] |
Thanks for trying. xiè xiè nǐ de nǔ lì |
| [09:41.730] |
Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore! duì le, gēn běn jiù méi yǒu luó sī mò ěr gōng jué! |
| [09:46.200] |
Then who' s the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? nà shi shuí zài luó sī mò ěr shān shàng huà le nèi xiē zǒng tǒng xiào xiàng? |
| [09:56.800] |
How could you tell her? nǐ zěn me kě yǐ gào sù tā? |
| [09:57.410] |
I didn' t think it would be that big a deal! wǒ xiǎng yòu méi shén me dà bù liǎo de |
| [10:00.420] |
She didn' t think it would be that big a deal! tā rèn wéi méi shén me dà bù liǎo de? |
| [10:02.450] |
Who are you talking to when you do that? nǐ zhè yàng zi shì zài gēn shuí jiǎng huà? |
| [10:06.900] |
Look, that was supposed to be a private, personal thing between us. zhèi xiē yīng gāi shì wǒ men zhī jiān hěn sī mì de duì huà |
| [10:10.560] |
Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay? We tell each other everything. fēi bǐ shì wǒ de nǚ xìng hǎo yǒu, hǎo ma? wǒ men wú huà bù tán de |
| [10:14.960] |
Guys do the same thing. nán rén yě yí yàng a |
| [10:17.700] |
I mean, what about all that lockerroom stuff? nèi xiē gēng yī shì lǐ de duì huà ne? |
| [10:20.100] |
That' s different. That' s like, who dated a stripper? nà yòu bù yí yàng le, wǒ men huì tán xiàng shì shuí gēn tuō yī wǔ niáng yuē huì |
| [10:23.710] |
Or who did it on the back of the Staten lsland ferry? huò shuí zài shǐ tǎn dēng dǎo dù lún hòu miàn zuò ài |
| [10:27.580] |
Both of those Joey? zhè liǎng gè dōu shì qiáo yī ba |
| [10:30.280] |
But you don' t talk about your girlfriend... nán dào nǐ men bù tán nǚ péng yǒu |
| [10:33.620] |
... and the intimate stuff you do with her. hái yǒu nǐ men zhī jiān qīn mì de shì? |
| [10:37.590] |
Not even with your best friend? lián zuì hǎo de péng yǒu yě bù tán? |
| [10:39.890] |
That is so sad. zhēn kě bēi a |
| [10:42.560] |
You' re missing out on so much. nǐ men cuò guò tài duō lè qù le |
| [10:45.260] |
I mean, the bonding and the sharing... nà shi zhǒng hù xiāng lián jié yǔ fēn xiǎng de gǎn jué |
| [10:48.230] |
... and knowing they' re going through the same thing you are. bìng zhī dào tā men yě hé nǐ jīng lì guò yí yàng de shì |
| [10:53.700] |
So, what, you tell each other everything? nà nǐ men shén me dōu gēn duì fāng shuō ma? |
| [10:57.310] |
Pretty much. chà bù duō a |
| [11:01.950] |
Did you talk about the Night of Five Times? nǐ men yǒu méi yǒu tán guò yī yè wǔ cì de jì lù? |
| [11:08.200] |
Do you tell people about the Night of Five Times? nǐ yǒu méi yǒu gào sù tā men nà cì yī yè wǔ cì de jì lù? |
| [11:11.290] |
Honey, that was with Carol. tián xīn, nǐ nà cì shì gēn kǎi luó |
| [11:18.600] |
Relax every muscle in your body. quán shēn jī ròu fàng sōng |
| [11:23.870] |
Listen to the plinkyplunky music. tīng zhe dīng dīng dōng dōng de yīn yuè |
| [11:28.870] |
Okay, now close your eyes... hǎo, bì shang nǐ de yǎn jīng |
| [11:31.810] |
... and think of a happy place. xiǎng yí gè hěn yú kuài de dì fāng |
| [11:35.280] |
Tell me your happy place. gào sù wǒ ràng nǐ kuài lè de dì fāng shì nǎ lǐ |
| [11:37.280] |
Richard' s living room, drinking wine. lǐ chá jiā de kè tīng, yì qǐ hē jiǔ |
| [11:45.620] |
I' m sorry, but that' s my happy place. duì bù qǐ, nà shi ràng wǒ kuài lè de dì fāng |
| [11:48.160] |
Okay, fine. Use my happy place. Just don' t move anything in there. hǎo, wǒ de kuài lè dì fāng jiè nǐ yòng dàn bié luàn dòng dōng xī |
| [11:54.460] |
I' ll try not to. wǒ huì shì zhe bù luàn dòng |
| [11:55.700] |
Okay. All right, so, you' re in a meadow... hǎo, nǐ xiàn zài zài cǎo dì shàng |
| [11:59.870] |
... millions of stars in the sky tiān shàng yǒu yī piàn fán xīng |
| [12:02.870] |
You think breaking up was a mistake? nǐ jué de fēn shǒu shì cuò wù de ma? |
| [12:05.140] |
There are no questions in the happy place. kuài lè de dì fāng bù zhǔn wèn wèn tí |
| [12:09.750] |
Just the warm breeze and the moonlight flowing through the trees. zhǐ yǒu hé xù de wēi fēng hé cóng shù shàng sā xià de yuè guāng |
| [12:15.320] |
I' ll bet he' s over me. I' ll bet he' s fine. wǒ dǔ tā yí dìng wàng le wǒ wǒ dǎ dǔ tā hǎo de hěn |
| [12:17.850] |
Betting and wagering of any kind are not permitted in the happy place. kuài lè de dì fāng bù yǔn xǔ dǔ bó hé xià zhù |
| [12:23.160] |
There' s just, you know, the lovely waterfalls... nà lǐ zhǐ yǒu měi lì de pù bù |
| [12:27.000] |
... and the trickling fountains... hé huǎn màn liú dòng zhe de pēn quán |
| [12:34.740] |
Okay, this isn' t working. hǎo, yì diǎn yòng yě méi yǒu |
| [12:36.740] |
I' m still awake, and now I have to pee. wǒ hái shì xǐng zhe de ér qiě wǒ dé qù shàng cè suǒ |
| [12:40.440] |
So I hear... wǒ tīng shuō |
| [12:42.250] |
... you hate me! nǐ tǎo yàn wǒ! |
| [12:45.420] |
I never said hate. I was very careful about that. wǒ méi shuō wǒ tǎo yàn nǐ wǒ kě shì hěn xiǎo xīn de |
| [12:49.350] |
A little birdie told me you wanted to rip your arm off and throw it at me. yǒu yì zhī xiǎo niǎo gào sù wǒ nǐ xiǎng chě xià shǒu bì, diū dào wǒ shēn shàng |
| [12:55.860] |
And you got " hate" from that? You' re taking a big leap there. zhè yàng nǐ jiù jué de wǒ tǎo yàn nǐ? nǐ yě tài duàn zhāng qǔ yì le ba |
| [13:00.460] |
All right, fine, fine, fine! hǎo ba |
| [13:02.530] |
We have got to do something about our little situation here. zhè zhǒng qíng xíng, wǒ men dé xiǎng diǎn cè lüè |
| [13:06.470] |
So this is my idea. zhè shì wǒ de zhǔ yì |
| [13:08.300] |
You and me spending some quality time together. nǐ hé wǒ huā diǎn shí jiān, hǎo hǎo xiāng chǔ |
| [13:13.580] |
But what does that dàn shì nà yǒu shén me guān |
| [13:14.980] |
For Chandler! wèi le qián dé! |
| [13:18.500] |
Okay. I' m in. hǎo ba, wǒ jiā rù |
| [13:19.480] |
Okay! This is what we' ll call it: Joey and Janice' s Day of Fun! hǎo! zhè jiù jiào zuò qiáo yī hé zhēn nī sī de xiāo yáo yī rì yóu |
| [13:26.490] |
A whole day? yào yī zhěng tiān a? |
| [13:27.960] |
Yes, because that' s how long it takes to love me. yīn wèi rú guǒ nǐ yào ài shàng wǒ dé huā shàng yī zhěng tiān |
| [13:32.960] |
Yeah, I know. I sleep in the next room. shì, wǒ zhī dào wǒ shuì zài nǐ men de gé bì |
| [13:40.800] |
So I went down to the post office... wǒ jīn tiān qù le yóu jú |
| [13:43.570] |
... and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered... jì lái de shì wǒ dìng de lù yǐng dài |
| [13:49.850] |
He loved the Civil War. tā hěn xǐ huān kàn nèi zhàn |
| [14:00.190] |
Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. dài wǒ dào yáo yuǎn de yín hé qù ba |
| [14:11.130] |
Women tell each other everything! Did you know that? nǚ rén shén me shì dōu shuō, nǐ zhī dào ma? |
| [14:16.770] |
No, Chandler, everything. bù, qián dé, wǒ shì shuō quán bù de shì |
| [14:20.310] |
Like stuff you like. Stuff she likes. nǐ xǐ huān de dōng xī, tā xǐ huān de dōng xī |
| [14:23.310] |
Technique. Stamina. Girth. jì qiǎo, jīng lì, zhōu cháng |
| [14:28.200] |
Girth? " zhōu cháng"? |
| [14:30.450] |
Why? Why? Why? wèi shí me? |
| [14:32.190] |
Why would they do this? tā men wèi hé zhè yàng zuò? |
| [14:35.330] |
Rachel says sharing' s great and supposedly... ruì qiū shuō fēn xiǎng de gǎn jué hěn bàng, ér |
| [14:38.860] |
... we ought to be doing it. wǒ men yě yīng gāi zhè me zuò |
| [14:43.300] |
Do you want to? nǐ xiǎng yào ma? |
| [14:46.370] |
We' re not gonna talk about girth, are we? wǒ men bú huì yào tǎo lùn zhōu cháng ba? |
| [14:51.510] |
All right, you go first. hǎo, nǐ xiān ba |
| [14:53.640] |
Okay. Okay, I' ll go first. hǎo, wǒ xiān shuō |
| [14:56.580] |
So the other night... yǒu tiān wǎn shàng |
| [14:58.980] |
... Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies... ruì qiū hé wǒ zài chuáng shàng tǎo lùn bǐ cǐ de xìng huàn xiǎng |
| [15:02.700] |
... and I happened to describe a particular... wǒ jiù xíng róng le yí gè huà miàn |
| [15:07.220] |
... Star Wars thing xīng jì dà zhàn lǐ de |
| [15:08.860] |
Princess Leia and the gold bikini. lì yà gōng zhǔ hé jīn sè bǐ jī ní |
| [15:11.860] |
I know! wǒ zhī dào! |
| [15:16.700] |
Well, that was easy. zhè dào tǐng róng yì de |
| [15:18.400] |
Okay, you go. hǎo, huàn nǐ le |
| [15:21.370] |
Okay, you know when you' re in bed with a woman... hǎo, dāng nǐ gēn yí gè nǚ rén zài chuáng shàng |
| [15:27.880] |
... fooling around... zhèng zài qīn rè |
| [15:29.210] |
... and you get all these mental images in your brain? nǎo dài lǐ tū rán chū xiàn yī xiē fēng kuáng de niàn tou |
| [15:32.620] |
Like Elle MacPherson or the girl at the Xerox place? jiù xiàng chāo jí míng mó ài ěr huò shì yǐng yìn diàn de nà gè nǚ hái ma? |
| [15:35.620] |
With the bellybutton ring? I know. chuān le dù qí huán de nà gè? wǒ zhī dào |
| [15:38.720] |
And then all of a sudden, your mom pops into your head. dàn shì tū rán zhī jiān nǐ hū rán xiǎng dào nǐ mā |
| [15:42.890] |
And you' re, like, " Mom, get out of here!" rán hòu nǐ jiù xiǎng " mā, kuài zǒu kāi la!" |
| [15:46.800] |
But after that, you can' t think of anything else. dàn cóng nà shí qǐ nǐ de nǎo dài lǐ jiù zhǐ yǒu nǐ mā |
| [15:49.630] |
And you can' t stop what you' re doing. So it' s kind of like you' re... ér nǐ zhèng zài zuò de shì yòu bù néng tíng zhǐ suǒ yǐ nǐ jiù hǎo xiàng |
| [15:55.270] |
... you know... nǐ zhī dào de |
| [15:56.540] |
... you know.... nǐ zhī dào de |
| [15:58.700] |
You don' t know! nǐ bù zhī dào! |
| [16:01.410] |
Your mom? nǐ mā mā? |
| [16:03.480] |
You' re telling me about your mom? What' s the matter with you? nǐ shì shuō gēn nǐ mā yì qǐ? nǐ jiū jìng yǒu shén me máo bìng? |
| [16:07.920] |
You said I said " share," not " scare"! nǐ shuō wǒ shuō yào fēn xiǎng, bú shì xià hu rén |
| [16:11.220] |
Go sit over there! nǐ gěi wǒ zuò dào nà biān qù |
| [16:18.590] |
We' re back! wǒ men huí lái le |
| [16:22.100] |
What are you guys doing together? nǐ men liǎ zài yì qǐ gàn ma? |
| [16:24.130] |
Joey and Janice' s Day of Fun! qiáo yī hé zhēn nī sī de xiāo yáo yī rì yóu |
| [16:29.940] |
Really? zhēn de ma? |
| [16:31.470] |
We went to a Mets game. We got Chinese food. wǒ men qù kàn niǔ yuē dà dū huì de bǐ sài hái chī le zhōng guó cài |
| [16:34.800] |
And, you know, I love this woman. nǐ zhī dào de, wǒ ài zhè gè nǚ rén |
| [16:41.450] |
Well, I just came by to give you a kiss. wǒ zhǐ shì shàng lái qīn nǐ yī xià |
| [16:51.960] |
You too, Chandler. nǐ yě shì, qián dé |
| [17:02.000] |
You still can' t stand her, can you? I' m sorry, I tried! I really did! nǐ hái shì shòu bù liǎo tā, shì ma? bào qiàn, wǒ yǐ jǐn zuì dà nǔ lì le! |
| [17:09.380] |
I appreciate you giving it a shot. hái shì xiè xiè nǐ de nǔ lì |
| [17:11.880] |
But you know, the good thing... dàn shì yǒu yì diǎn kě xǐ de shì |
| [17:14.500] |
... is that we spent the whole day together and I survived. wǒ men zhěng tiān zài yì qǐ ér wǒ hái néng cún huó |
| [17:17.720] |
And what' s even more amazing, so did she. gèng liǎo bù qǐ de shì, tā yě zuò dào le |
| [17:21.120] |
It was Bat Day at Shea Stadium. jīn tiān shì dà dū huì zhǔ chǎng de dǎ jī rì |
| [17:25.330] |
I guess that' s something. wǒ xiǎng zhè hái mán liǎo bù qǐ de |
| [17:28.730] |
Now I know I can stand to be around her. Which means... xiàn zài wǒ zhī dào wǒ kě yǐ dài zài tā páng biān, biǎo shì |
| [17:32.170] |
... I get to hang out with you. wǒ kě yǐ hé nǐ yì qǐ chū qù |
| [17:34.140] |
Which is kind of the whole point anyway. fǎn zhèng zhè jiù shì wǒ de zhòng diǎn |
| [17:41.740] |
Oh, hey! We stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross. wǒ men zài kā fēi diàn tíng le yī xià jié guǒ yù dào luó sī |
| [17:50.920] |
Oh, God. tiān a |
| [17:53.320] |
If it makes you feel any better, I do it too. xī wàng zhè huì ràng nǐ hǎo guò diǎn wǒ yě huì yǒu zhè zhǒng xiǎng fǎ |
| [17:58.860] |
Really? Oh, yeah! zhēn de ma? duì a |
| [18:00.930] |
I always picture your mom when I' m having sex. dāng wǒ zài zuò ài shí wǒ dōu huì xiǎng xiàng nǐ mā de yàng zi |
| [18:08.440] |
April 12, 1861. 1861 nián 4 yuè 12 rì |
| [18:14.910] |
The United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon. měi guó yú shān dé bǎo de bù duì shòu dào pào hōng |
| [18:19.200] |
It is now under bombardment by zhè chǎng pào hōng shì yóu yú |
| [18:32.560] |
Dad! What are you doing? bà, nǐ zěn me lái le? |
| [18:34.400] |
It' s your mother' s bridge night, so l came into the city for a Monicuddle. nǐ mā jīn wǎn dǎ qiáo pái suǒ yǐ wǒ jìn chéng lái, bào bào mó nī kǎ |
| [18:42.640] |
Since when did you start smoking cigars? nǐ shén me shí hòu kāi shǐ chōu xuě jiā le? |
| [18:46.140] |
I don' t. I just like the smell of them. wǒ méi yǒu, zhǐ shì xǐ huān wén tā de wèi dào |
| [18:50.610] |
So what are you really doing here? nǐ lái zhè lǐ zhēn zhèng de mù dì shì shén me? |
| [18:53.880] |
I just wanted to make sure you' re okay. wǒ zhǐ xiǎng què dìng yī xià nǐ hái hǎo ba |
| [18:59.590] |
I saw Richard. wǒ kàn dào lǐ chá le |
| [19:04.260] |
So how you doing? nǐ hái hǎo ma? |
| [19:06.230] |
I' m fine. wǒ hěn hǎo |
| [19:07.800] |
I' m just a little tired, but I' m okay. wǒ zhǐ shì yǒu diǎn lèi, dàn wǒ hái hǎo |
| [19:11.400] |
How' s Richard doing? You don' t want to know. lǐ chá zěn me yàng le? nǐ bú huì xiǎng zhī dào de |
| [19:14.140] |
No, I really, really do. wǒ zhēn de hěn xiǎng zhī dào |
| [19:17.140] |
Well, he' s doing terrible! tā de qíng kuàng hěn zāo! |
| [19:21.840] |
Really? zhēn de? |
| [19:24.800] |
Worse than when he broke up with Barbara. bǐ tā gēn bā bā lā fēn shǒu shí hái zāo |
| [19:27.520] |
You' re not just saying that, are you? No, the man is a mess! nǐ bú shì gù yì zhè me shuō de ba bù, nà gè nán rén jiǎn zhí yī tuán zāo |
| [19:32.920] |
Was he crying? tā yǒu méi yǒu kū? |
| [19:35.790] |
Do you think he was waiting till after you left, so he could cry? nǐ jué de tā shì fǒu děng nǐ zǒu hòu cái yí ge rén kāi shǐ kū? |
| [19:39.530] |
Maybe. huò xǔ ba |
| [19:42.800] |
I think so. wǒ xiǎng yě shì |
| [19:44.530] |
Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me. bǎo bèi, gǎn qíng zhè huí shì hěn nán shuō jiù xiàng wǒ gēn nǐ mā |
| [19:47.870] |
You know, after we graduated from college, we broke up for a while. dà xué bì yè hòu wǒ men céng fēn shǒu yī zhèn zi |
| [19:51.870] |
It seems her father, your grandfather... tā fù qīn, jiù shì nǐ zǔ fù, sì hū |
| [19:54.610] |
... wanted her to travel around Europe like he did. xī wàng nǐ mā gēn tā yí yàng dào ōu zhōu sì chù lǚ xíng |
| [19:57.480] |
Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam' s nickel... dāng rán, tā shì wèi le měi guó zhèng fǔ |
| [20:00.380] |
... because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. yīn wèi dāng shí tā yě zài měng hōng dé liè chē |
| [20:04.950] |
However.... rán ér |
| [20:48.300] |
Okay, here we go. hǎo ba, kāi shǐ luó |
| [20:50.300] |
I am Jabba' s prisoner. And you... wǒ shì jiǎ bà de qiú fàn, ér nǐ |
| [20:54.100] |
... have a really weird look on your face. nǐ liǎn shàng de biǎo qíng hǎo guài |
| [20:56.810] |
What? Honey, what is it? zěn me le, tián xīn? yǒu shén me wèn tí? |
| [20:58.340] |
Did I get the hair wrong? wǒ de tóu fà bú duì ma? |
| [21:00.140] |
Or what? Did you just picture it differently? What? hái shì bié de wèn tí? gēn nǐ xiǎng xiàng de bù tóng, hái shì? |
| [21:04.150] |
It' s not you. It' s.... bú shì nǐ de wèn tí, shì |
| [21:11.290] |
What is it? Come on, sweetie. You' re, like, freaking me out here. zěn me le? bài tuō, tián xīn nǐ kuài bǎ wǒ xià huài le |
| [21:17.960] |
I hate Chandler. The bastard ruined my life! wǒ hèn qián dé nà gè hún dàn huǐ le wǒ de rén shēng! |