| [02:34.-4] |
If Joey and I play with matches, we could get you up to an even 100. yào shì qiáo yī hé wǒ wán huǒ chái jiù kě yǐ ràng nǐ lěi jī dào yī bǎi |
| [05:08.-2] |
Oh, my God! tiān na |
| [06:27.-4] |
... if you know what I mean. dǒng wǒ de yì sī ba? |
| [06:43.-3] |
Why don' t you break up with one of them? hé bù gēn qí zhōng yí gè fēn shǒu? |
| [08:16.-3] |
See? You just need the right command. kàn dào le ma? xià duì zhǐ lìng jiù xíng le |
| [08:48.-3] |
Joey, put that down. qiáo yī, fàng xià |
| [10:57.-4] |
We don' t know if he' ll propose. yě bù zhī dào tā huì bú huì qiú hūn |
| [12:34.-1] |
Good deal. hěn hǎo |
| [18:05.-4] |
And I feel like I' ve conquered the intellectual world. wǒ yǐ jīng zhēng fú le zhī shi jiè |
| [18:09.-1] |
And now I have the most beautiful woman in the world. xiàn zài yòu yōng yǒu shì jiè shang zuì měi dí nǚ rén |
| [18:34.-2] |
... the Ultimate Fighting Champion. zhōng jí gé dòu guàn jūn |
| [00:03.20] |
Wouldn' t it be cool if our duck and our chick had a baby? yào shì wǒ men de jī yā shēng xiǎo bǎo bǎo bú shì hěn kù? |
| [00:06.53] |
We could call it Chuck. kě yǐ jiào tā chá kè |
| [00:10.31] |
Or Dick. huò dí kè |
| [00:15.68] |
Listen, I need a favor. wǒ yào qǐng nǐ men bāng máng |
| [00:19.15] |
I was in the shower, and as I was... wǒ gāng cái xǐ zǎo, zhèng zài |
| [00:21.82] |
... cleansing myself, I felt something. xǐ shēn tǐ shí, fā xiàn yī jiàn shì |
| [00:25.65] |
Was it like a sneeze, only better? hěn xiàng dǎ pēn tì, dàn shì gǎn jué gēng shuǎng? |
| [00:30.76] |
No. I mean, like, a thing on my body. bú shì, shì wǒ shēn shàng zhǎng le dōng xī |
| [00:33.73] |
Well, what was it? shén me dōng xī? |
| [00:35.16] |
Well, I don' t know. It' s kind of in a place that' s not.... bù xiǎo de, tā zhǎng zài wǒ bù néng |
| [00:39.03] |
It' s not visually accessible to me. And I was hoping maybe you guys... wǒ kàn bú dào, wǒ xiǎng má fán nǐ men |
| [00:43.34] |
... could help me out. bāng wǒ kàn yī xià |
| [00:47.38] |
Come on, you guys! It' s no big deal! bài tuō, yòu méi shén me |
| [00:53.85] |
Well, what is it? Is it a mole? shì shén me? shì zhì ma? |
| [00:58.29] |
No, it' s too wrinkly to be a mole. bú shì, tài zhòu le, bú shì zhì |
| [01:01.22] |
Is it? What, a pimple? nà shi dòu zǐ ma? |
| [01:06.46] |
No, it' s... bú shì, tā |
| [01:08.23] |
... fancier than a pimple. bǐ qīng chūn dòu gāo jí |
| [01:10.43] |
Ross, just go see a doc Guys, what' s? nǐ jiù qù kàn yī nǐ men zài gàn |
| [01:18.37] |
Well, it' s definite. Two more weeks of winter. què dìng le, dōng tiān hái yǒu liǎng xīng qī |
| [01:21.48] |
Yeah, right. méi cuò |
| [01:23.58] |
The One With Ross' Thing běn jí bō chū:" guǎ rén yǒu jí" |
| [02:14.66] |
And this is the coffeehouse. This is where I play my music. zhè shì kā fēi guǎn, wǒ dōu zài zhè lǐ biǎo yǎn |
| [02:18.53] |
Good deal. These are my friends. piào liàng tā men shì wǒ de péng yǒu |
| [02:20.84] |
People? This is Vince. Vince, the people. gè wèi, zhè shì wén sī wén sī, wǒ de péng yǒu |
| [02:25.91] |
Vince is a fireman. wén sī shì xiāo fáng yuán |
| [02:28.64] |
Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building? nǐ cóng rán shāo de dà lóu lǐ jiù guò rén ma? |
| [02:31.38] |
Ninetyeight hot saves. Highest on the force. jiǔ shí bā cì, duì shàng dì yī gāo |
| [02:40.05] |
Fire safety is not a joke, son. hái zi, bù néng ná huǒ zāi kāi wán xiào |
| [02:44.79] |
You' re right. I know. nǐ shuō de duì, wǒ zhī dào |
| [02:47.63] |
Look, I gotta go. I' m on call tonight. wǒ yào zǒu le, wǎn shàng yào zhí bān |
| [02:50.06] |
See you Saturday. xīng qī liù jiàn |
| [02:54.57] |
He' s cute, Pheebs. fēi bǐ, tā hǎo kě ài |
| [02:56.00] |
But you just started dating that teacher. dàn nǐ bú shì gāng hé nà gè lǎo shī jiāo wǎng? |
| [02:58.27] |
Oh, Jason? jié sēn? |
| [02:59.47] |
We' re seeing each other tonight. wǒ men wǎn shàng yào jiàn miàn |
| [03:01.58] |
Well, Pheebs? fēi bǐ? |
| [03:03.58] |
Two dates in one day? That' s so unlike you. jiǎo tà liǎng tiáo chuán? nǐ bù xiàng zhè zhǒng rén |
| [03:06.41] |
I know, I know. I' m, like, playing the field. wǒ yě zhī dào wǒ zài yóu xì rén jiān |
| [03:09.85] |
I' m juggling two guys. I' m sowing my wild oats. wǒ zài wán nòng bié rén, gǎo qī niǎn sān |
| [03:14.19] |
You know, this kind of, like, oatsowing, fieldplaying juggler. wǒ shì gǎo qī niǎn sān de huā xīn luó bó |
| [03:18.66] |
So do they know about each other? tā men zhī dào duì fāng de cún zài ma? |
| [03:21.10] |
Does a dog' s lips move when he reads? gǒu gǒu niàn shū shí, zuǐ chún huì dòng ma? |
| [03:27.80] |
Okay, no, they don' t know. tā men bù zhī dào |
| [03:31.87] |
Hey, guys. gè wèi |
| [03:36.34] |
Well? How' d it go at the doctor' s? zěn me yàng? yī shēng zěn me shuō? |
| [03:38.55] |
He said there' s definitely nothing to worry about. It' s benign. tā shuō bù yòng dān xīn, shì liáng xìng de |
| [03:42.68] |
What is it? He couldn' t even tell me. shì shén me? tā gēn běn shuō bu chū lái |
| [03:45.12] |
He said it was just some sort of " skin abnormality." tā zhǐ shuō shì yī zhǒng pí fū yì cháng |
| [03:51.06] |
The worse thing is, he said, being unable to identify it... gèng zāo de shì tā shuō, yóu yú wú fǎ biàn rèn |
| [03:54.70] |
... he was reluctant to remove it. tā bù yuàn yì wèi wǒ qiē chú |
| [03:56.83] |
You should go to my guy. nǐ yīng gāi qù zhǎo wǒ de yī shēng |
| [03:58.47] |
Because when I went in there with my third nipple... wǒ qù zhǎo tā shí |
| [04:02.14] |
... he just lopped it right off. tā zhí jiē jiù bǎ tā gěi qiè le |
| [04:04.54] |
So I guess I' m lucky. wǒ mán xìng yùn de |
| [04:06.54] |
I mean, not as lucky as people who are born with two nipples. suī rán bǐ bù shǎng tiān shēng liǎng gè de rén |
| [04:11.31] |
At least they knew what yours was. You know? Yours had a name. zhì shǎo tā men zhī dào nǐ zhǎng le shén me nǐ de yǒu míng zì |
| [04:16.18] |
Maybe they' ll name yours after you. yě xǔ yī xué jiè huì yǐ nǐ wéi míng |
| [04:19.32] |
You know? They' d call it " The Ross." bǎ tā jiào zuò" luó sī" |
| [04:22.09] |
And then people would be, like, " Oh, he' s got a Ross." dà jiā huì shuō hāi, tā zhǎng le yí gè luó sī |
| [04:27.43] |
Yeah, that' d be cool. shì a, zhēn kù |
| [04:31.33] |
Pete' s breaking up with me. bǐ tè yào gēn wǒ fēn shǒu |
| [04:33.23] |
What? shén me? |
| [04:34.90] |
I just checked my messages. wǒ gāng cái tīng liú yán |
| [04:36.77] |
He said that when he gets back, " We need to talk." tā shuō děng tā huí lái " wǒ men dé tán yī tán" |
| [04:40.51] |
And? Well, that' s it. rán hòu ne? jiù zhè yàng |
| [04:42.21] |
People never say," We need to talk," unless it' s something bad. méi yǒu rén huì shuō" wǒ men dé tán yī tán" chú fēi shì huài shì |
| [04:45.85] |
That doesn' t necessarily mean he' s breaking up with you. nà bù yí dìng dài biǎo tā yào gēn nǐ fēn shǒu |
| [04:49.28] |
Really? zhēn de? |
| [04:50.35] |
Maybe he just cheated on you. yě xǔ tā zhǐ shì duì nǐ bù zhōng |
| [04:57.76] |
I won' t get rich doing it, but I gotta say, it' s cool... zhè me zuò méi yǒu hǎo chù dàn wǒ hái shì hěn gāo xìng |
| [05:01.46] |
... knowing you' re making a difference in a kid' s life. wǒ gǎi biàn le yí gè hái zi |
| [05:04.57] |
That is so great. zhēn hǎo |
| [05:09.77] |
Oh, my God! tiān na |
| [05:11.31] |
We' d better call the fire department. gǎn kuài tōng zhī xiāo fáng duì |
| [05:14.38] |
Well, we don' t need a fireman. bù bì zhǎo xiāo fáng yuán ba |
| [05:16.64] |
We need, like, a good mechanic. yīng gāi zhǎo hǎo de hēi shǒu lái |
| [05:20.82] |
Here they come! We gotta get out of here! tā men lái le, kuài táo |
| [05:23.82] |
Wait. Why? děng yī xià, wèi shí me? |
| [05:24.92] |
If I wanted to see a fireman, I' d date one. yào shì wǒ xiǎng kàn xiāo fáng yuán wǒ huì zhǎo xiāo fáng yuán yuē huì |
| [05:30.33] |
That' s all it is. A third nipple. zhǐ shì yí gè duō chū lái de |
| [05:32.49] |
You know? Just your runofthemill third nipple. hěn pǔ tōng de dì sān ge |
| [05:36.26] |
You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off. nǐ kě yǐ bǎ tā qiè diào, zhí jiē qiè diào |
| [05:40.00] |
Take your shirt off. Let' s see what we' re dealing with. bǎ shàng yī tuō diào ràng wǒ kàn yī xià |
| [05:45.84] |
What are you doing? nǐ zài gàn shén me? |
| [05:48.34] |
Just showing you my runofthemill, sliceitrightoff third nipple. ràng nǐ kàn nà gè fēi cháng pǔ tōng kě yǐ zhí jiē qiè diào de |
| [05:53.08] |
Well, that' s not a third nipple. zhè bú shì dì sān ge |
| [05:55.85] |
First of all, it' s on your ass |
| [05:59.29] |
Well, then what is it? bù rán shì shén me? |
| [06:01.29] |
Wait a minute. Hold it. děng yī xià |
| [06:05.33] |
Jansen, come in here. I' m with Hamilton! zhān sēn, lái yī xià wǒ zài gēn hàn mí dùn jiǎng huà |
| [06:08.36] |
He' s good with weird things. Bring him in too. tā duì guài dōng xī hěn zài háng, jiào tā yě lái |
| [06:13.53] |
I gotta go water Pete' s plants. wǒ dé qù bāng bǐ tè jiāo huā |
| [06:15.80] |
You know what? If he' s gonna break up with me, maybe I won' t water them. nǐ men zhī dào ma? rú guǒ tā xiǎng fēn shǒu, wǒ jiù bù jiāo le |
| [06:20.21] |
If he' s gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should do it... rú guǒ tā yào fēn shǒu gān cuì ràng qiáo yī hé wǒ qù" jiāo" |
| [06:29.52] |
Or... huò zhě |
| [06:31.29] |
... we could go and pee on them. wǒ men kě yǐ qù duì zhuó huā pén sā niào |
| [06:36.29] |
I can' t take it, you know. wǒ shòu bù liǎo le |
| [06:38.23] |
I' m afraid one of them will catch me with the other. wǒ hǎo pà huì bèi zhuō dào |
| [06:41.30] |
It' s making me crazy! wǒ kuài fēng le |
| [06:46.47] |
What happened to playing the field? nǐ bú shì zài yóu xì rén jiān? |
| [06:50.00] |
It doesn' t feel like playing anymore. xiàn zài bù xiàng yóu xì le |
| [06:52.37] |
It' s feels like work. It' s like I' m working in the field. bǐ jiào xiàng gōng zuò wǒ hǎo xiàng zài zuò tián yě diào chá |
| [06:56.48] |
So pick one of them. nà jiù xuǎn yí gè |
| [06:58.18] |
Which one do you like more? nǐ bǐ jiào xǐ huān nǎ yī ge? |
| [06:59.51] |
Vince is great, you know? Because he' s, like, a " guy" guy. wén sī hěn bàng, tā shì nán rén zhōng de nán rén |
| [07:04.19] |
He' s just so burly, so very burly. tā hǎo zhuàng, zhēn de hǎo zhuàng |
| [07:09.86] |
Okay, good. So there you go. Go with Vince. hǎo, nà jiù xuǎn wén sī ba |
| [07:13.06] |
But Jason' s really sensitive. dàn shì jié sēn hǎo gǎn xìng |
| [07:14.90] |
Sensitive is important. Pick him. gǎn xìng hěn zhòng yào, xuǎn tā |
| [07:18.33] |
Oh, sure. Go with the sissy. shì a, tīng niáng niang qiāng de huà |
| [07:22.37] |
Jason is not a sissy. jié sēn cái bù niáng niang qiāng |
| [07:25.17] |
I meant Chandler. wǒ shì shuō qián dé |
| [07:37.75] |
You know, I have dinner plans. wǒ wǎn shàng yǒu yuē |
| [07:41.72] |
Thank you so much for coming on such a short notice. xiè xiè gè wèi lín shí gǎn lái |
| [07:45.53] |
Ladies and gentlemen, I' ve been practicing medicine for 23 years... gè wèi xiān shēng nǚ shì wǒ xíng yī 23 nián |
| [07:50.73] |
... and I' m stumped. xiàn zài què bèi nàn dào le |
| [08:04.51] |
Okay, this is the den. zhè lǐ shì shū fáng |
| [08:06.08] |
All right, check this out. Lights! nǐ men kàn ō dēng guāng |
| [08:09.28] |
All right, less lights! Bad lights! shǎo yì diǎn guāng bù hǎo de guāng |
| [08:12.39] |
Lights, go away! dēng guāng zǒu kāi |
| [08:19.09] |
And the dimmer switch. yě kě yǐ yòng diào de |
| [08:22.46] |
For a rich guy, that' s a small TV. tā nà me yǒu qián, diàn shì hái zhēn xiǎo |
| [08:24.83] |
That' s the video phone. nà shi shì xùn diàn huà |
| [08:26.63] |
But you shouldn' t be here. So don' t touch anything. nǐ men bù néng lái de, suǒ yǐ bú yào luàn pèng |
| [08:30.61] |
IKEA, this is comfortable! yí jiā jiā jù, hǎo shū fú |
| [08:34.84] |
This place is amazing! zhè lǐ tài gāo jí le |
| [08:37.25] |
Oh, God! That' s the nicest kitchen. I know. nà gè chú fáng hǎo bàng wǒ zhī dào |
| [08:40.18] |
It' s the nicest kitchen. wǒ shì chǔ de |
| [08:41.68] |
The refrigerator told me to have a great day. bīng xiāng hái huì zhù wǒ jīn tiān yú kuài |
| [08:45.82] |
Look, a millionaire' s checkbook. nǐ men kàn, bǎi wàn fù wēng de zhī piào bù |
| [08:51.03] |
Oh, my God, that' s Pete. Get out! tiān na, shì bǐ tè, kuài chū qù! |
| [08:53.29] |
How the hell do you answer a video phone? shì xùn diàn huà yào zěn me jiē? |
| [08:59.20] |
I guess that' s how. yuán lái shì zhè yàng |
| [09:01.10] |
Monica, how' s it going? mó nī kǎ, nǐ hǎo ma? |
| [09:03.10] |
Oh, it' s good. It' s good. hěn hǎo |
| [09:05.54] |
Just here, watering the plants. wǒ lái bāng nǐ jiāo huā |
| [09:07.51] |
Don' t forget that ficus there by Rachel. bié wàng le ruì qiū páng biān nà yī pén |
| [09:12.38] |
Chandler' s on the couch! qián dé zài shā fā shàng |
| [09:15.78] |
I see him. You guys are the worst hiders, ever. wǒ kàn dào le, nǐ men hái zhēn bú huì duǒ |
| [09:18.65] |
Hi. How you doing? hāi nǐ hǎo ma? |
| [09:23.56] |
The other day when you said you needed to talk... nà tiān nǐ shuō yào zhǎo wǒ tán yī tán |
| [09:26.63] |
... just so I know, is it good news or bad news? qǐng wèn shì hǎo xiāo xī hái shì huài xiāo xī? |
| [09:29.56] |
It' s good news. It' s definitely good news. hǎo xiāo xī, jué duì shì hǎo xiāo xī |
| [09:32.50] |
Hold on a second, I have another call. děng yī xià, yǒu lìng yī tòng diàn huà |
| [09:35.14] |
How' s it going? nǐ hǎo ma? |
| [09:37.04] |
It' s still me. hái shì wǒ |
| [09:38.54] |
I' ve got pictureinpicture here. wǒ zhè lǐ yǒu zi huà miàn |
| [09:42.74] |
I' m gonna have to call you back later. wǒ zài huí nǐ diàn huà |
| [09:46.48] |
Monica? You. I' m gonna have to call you back. mó nī kǎ? wǒ zài huí nǐ diàn huà |
| [09:49.72] |
So I' ll see you soon. gǎi tiān jiàn |
| [09:51.65] |
Okay. I love you. I love you. hǎo, wǒ ài nǐ wǒ ài nǐ |
| [09:53.75] |
We love you too! wǒ men yě ài nǐ |
| [09:58.63] |
Well, it' s good news. It' s good news. shì hǎo xiāo xī, shì hǎo xiāo xī |
| [10:01.00] |
What do you think the good news is? Look at this! nǐ xiǎng shì shén me hǎo xiāo xī? nǐ men kàn |
| [10:04.37] |
He wrote a check for 50, 000 to " Hugo Lindgren' s Ring Design." tā kāi le yī zhāng wǔ wàn yuán de zhī piào gěi yī wèi jiè zhǐ shè jì shī |
| [10:10.84] |
Sorry. What do you think the good news is? duì bù qǐ, nǐ xiǎng shì shén me hǎo xiāo xī? |
| [10:15.71] |
Oh, my! tiān na |
| [10:17.08] |
Monica' s gonna marry a millionaire! mó nī kǎ yào jià gěi bǎi wàn fù wēng le |
| [10:19.61] |
You gotta get Mom on the phone! Call Mom! Call Mom! gǎn kuài dǎ gěi mā, dǎ gěi mā! dǎ gěi mā |
| [10:25.62] |
And that' s Pete' s mom. nà shi bǐ tè de mā mā |
| [10:34.03] |
You have to make it a theme wedding. And the theme could be: nǐ dé bàn yí gè zhǔ tí hūn lǐ zhǔ tí kě yǐ shì |
| [10:37.80] |
" Look How Much Money We' ve Got!" " kàn wǒ men duō yǒu qián a" |
| [10:41.67] |
I mean, you could put money in the invitations. nǐ kě yǐ zài xǐ tiě lǐ fàng qián |
| [10:44.77] |
You could have, like, littlemoney place settings. nǐ kě yǐ yòng qián zuò chéng cān jù |
| [10:47.61] |
And you could start with a money salad. dì yī dào cài kě yǐ shàng chāo piào shā là |
| [10:50.44] |
I mean, it' ll be dry, but people will like it. suī rán gàn le diǎn, jué duì shòu huān yíng |
| [10:53.68] |
Would you stop? bié zài shuō le |
| [10:55.05] |
We' ve only gone out a couple of weeks. wǒ men cái jiāo wǎng liǎng xīng qī |
| [10:58.65] |
But this is Pete. He' s not like other people. tā shì bǐ tè, gēn bié rén bù yí yàng |
| [11:01.19] |
On your first date, you went to Rome. nǐ men dì yī cì yuē huì jiù qù luó mǎ |
| [11:03.22] |
For most guys, that' s like a third or fourth date kind of thing. duì qí tā nán rén lái shuō nà shi dì sān sì cì yuē huì de shì |
| [11:08.50] |
Well, if that' s what it is, then it' s crazy. rú guǒ tā yāo qiú hūn, nà jiù tài kuā zhāng le |
| [11:11.73] |
Monica' s right. We' re talking about marriage here. mó nī kǎ shuō de duì zhè kě shì hūn yīn dà shì |
| [11:14.70] |
She can' t just rush into this. tā bù néng shuō jià jiù jià |
| [11:17.34] |
What do you know? You married a lesbian! nǐ dǒng shén me? nǐ qǔ le yí gè nǚ tóng zhì |
| [11:26.15] |
I gotta go. I have to break up with Vince. wǒ yào zǒu le, wǒ yào qù gēn wén sī fēn shǒu |
| [11:28.75] |
So you' re going with the teacher? nǐ xuǎn le nà gè lǎo shī? |
| [11:31.09] |
I like Vince a lot, you know? But Jason is so sensitive. wǒ hěn xǐ huān wén sī, dàn jié sēn hǎo gǎn xìng |
| [11:35.09] |
In the long run, I think sensitive is better than having... cháng qī lái shuō, gǎn xìng yīng gāi bǐ |
| [11:38.76] |
... a really, really, really nice body. shēn cái hěn měng lái de hǎo |
| [11:46.07] |
Jason. Definitely Jason. jié sēn, jué duì shì jié sēn |
| [11:48.50] |
Wish me luck! Good luck! zhù wǒ hǎo yùn zhù nǐ hǎo yùn |
| [11:53.07] |
Oh, my God! wàn suì! |
| [11:57.21] |
Sorry. duì bù qǐ |
| [11:58.28] |
I was imagining what it' d be like to catch the money bouquet. wǒ zài xiǎng xiàng jiē dào chāo piào pěng huā de gǎn jué |
| [12:07.62] |
Excuse me. Is Vince here? bào qiàn, wén sī zài ma? |
| [12:10.12] |
Oh, sure. zài |
| [12:15.93] |
I didn' t know you guys actually used those. wǒ bù xiǎo de nǐ men huì zhēn de huá xià lái |
| [12:19.43] |
So what' s up? shén me shì? |
| [12:24.37] |
This isn' t gonna be easy. zhè jiàn shì hěn nán qǐ chǐ |
| [12:28.04] |
I don' t think we should see each other anymore. wǒ men hái shì bié zài jiàn miàn le |
| [12:36.62] |
I' m sorry. duì bù qǐ |
| [12:37.75] |
No, it' s okay. méi guān xì |
| [12:39.62] |
It' s just that I thought we had something pretty special here. wǒ hái yǐ wéi wǒ men zhī jiān hěn tè bié |
| [12:44.00] |
I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to. wǒ zhōng yú zhǎo dào kě yǐ qīng sù de duì xiàng |
| [12:48.30] |
There' s so much in me I haven' t shared with you yet. wǒ hái yǒu hǎo duō shì méi gēn nǐ fēn xiǎng |
| [12:51.93] |
My God! I didn' t know you were so tiān na, wǒ bù zhī dào nǐ |
| [12:53.93] |
I' m sorry. I can' t talk. bào qiàn, wǒ shuō bu chū huà lái le |
| [12:57.77] |
I' m gonna go write in my journal. wǒ yào qù xiě rì jì |
| [13:03.58] |
Wait! Wait! Wait! děng yī xià |
| [13:05.85] |
" zhōng yāng gōng yuán" |
| [13:07.52] |
If you wanna take care of that thing, go see my herbal guy. nǐ rú guǒ xiǎng jiě jué nà gè wèn tí jiù qù zhǎo wǒ de yào cǎo shī |
| [13:11.85] |
Thanks. But I wanna remove it, not make it savory. xiè le, wǒ shì xiǎng qiē chú bú shì xiǎng zuò chéng xiāng liào |
| [13:17.32] |
When girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body... nǚ shēng fà xiàn qíng rén shēn shàng zhǎng le guài dōng xī |
| [13:21.26] |
... they tell their friends about it. dōu huì gēn péng yǒu guǎng bō |
| [13:24.17] |
Give me that. ná lái |
| [13:28.47] |
Okay, don' t be mad at me, but I couldn' t resist. bié shēng wǒ de qì, wǒ jiù shì rěn bú zhù |
| [13:32.61] |
Bride' s Magazines? " xīn niáng zá zhì"? |
| [13:34.04] |
I know you said you' d say no if he asked you... wǒ zhī dào nǐ bú huì dā yìng qiú hūn |
| [13:36.88] |
... but how great would you look walking down the aisle... dàn shì chuān zhè tào táng nà kǎi lún zǒu hóng tǎn |
| [13:40.21] |
... in this Donna Karan? huì yǒu duō měi a |
| [13:43.02] |
You so would! yí dìng huì hěn měi |
| [13:45.52] |
You should get that anyway. bù jié hūn yě yào mǎi |
| [13:49.36] |
Well, for clubbing. kě yǐ chuān qù jù lè bù |
| [13:52.06] |
It is so weird. hěn qí guài |
| [13:53.56] |
I know what I said. But this morning... wǒ shuō guò bú huì dā yìng dàn shì jīn tiān zǎo shàng |
| [13:56.80] |
... I was lying in bed, imagining what it' d be like to say yes. wǒ tǎng zài chuáng shàng xiǎng xiàng shuō" yuàn yì" de gǎn jué |
| [14:03.40] |
I know it' s a little sudden, and it' s rushed... wǒ zhī dào yǒu diǎn tū rán, yě hěn cōng cù |
| [14:06.54] |
... and it' s not like me to do something like this. wǒ yě bú shì huì zuò zhè zhǒng shì de rén |
| [14:09.38] |
But it doesn' t mean I can' t. Right? dàn wǒ kě yǐ zhè me zuò, duì ba? |
| [14:12.55] |
I mean, I' m crazy about Pete. bì jìng wǒ nà me ài bǐ tè |
| [14:14.52] |
And I know that we want the same things. wǒ men zhuī qiú tóng yàng de dōng xī |
| [14:17.59] |
And when I thought about saying yes... dāng wǒ xiǎng dào shuō" yuàn yì" de gǎn jué |
| [14:20.09] |
... it made me really happy. wǒ jué de hěn kuài lè |
| [14:22.06] |
Oh, my God! tiān na |
| [14:25.23] |
I know. wǒ zhī dào |
| [14:27.33] |
I need more pie. wǒ hái yào pài |
| [14:31.20] |
Mon, if you do get married, can I bring two guests? yào shì nǐ zhēn de jié hūn wǒ kě yǐ dài liǎng gè rén qù ma? |
| [14:38.04] |
You didn' t break up with that fireman? nǐ méi gēn xiāo fáng yuán fēn shǒu? |
| [14:40.51] |
That was my way of telling you. wǒ jiù shì zhè gè yì sī |
| [14:43.18] |
Well, it turns out he' s incredibly sensitive. yuán lái tā fēi cháng gǎn xìng |
| [14:45.88] |
He keeps a journal and he paints. tā xiě rì jì, hái huà huà |
| [14:48.25] |
He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me. tā hái wèi wǒ huà le yī fú tàn bǐ huà |
| [14:51.42] |
He' d prefer watercolors, but he has easy access to a lot of charcoal. tā bǐ jiào xiǎng yòng shuǐ cǎi huà dàn shì shǒu biān yǒu hěn duō hēi tàn |
| [14:58.93] |
So will you dump Jason? nà nǐ yào shuǎi diào jié sēn ma? |
| [15:00.59] |
Yeah, because I have to break up with someone. duì, wǒ zǒng děi gēn qí zhōng yí gè fēn shǒu |
| [15:04.06] |
So Jason is sensitive. But now, so is Vince. jié sēn hěn gǎn xìng, dàn wén sī yě shì |
| [15:08.30] |
Plus, Vince has the body. You know? ér wén sī yòu yǒu shēn cái |
| [15:10.74] |
So.... suǒ yǐ |
| [15:13.77] |
It' s really just about the math. zhè shì suàn shù wèn tí |
| [15:24.12] |
Come on in. qǐng jìn |
| [15:34.30] |
You sounded serious on the phone. nǐ zài diàn huà lǐ de yǔ qì hěn yán sù |
| [15:36.46] |
Is anything wrong? chū le shén me shì ma? |
| [15:56.32] |
You must be Ross. nǐ yí dìng shì luó sī |
| [16:00.35] |
I am Guru Saj. wǒ shì sà jí dà shī |
| [16:04.19] |
Listen, I gotta tell you, I' ve never been to a guru before, so.... lǎo shí shuō, wǒ méi zhǎo guò dà shī suǒ yǐ |
| [16:09.26] |
Well, relax. fàng qīng sōng |
| [16:10.46] |
If it makes you feel any better, I' ve attended... wǒ zài zhōng bù niàn guò hěn hǎo de yī xué yuàn |
| [16:13.30] |
... fine medical schools in Central America. zhè yàng nǐ bǐ jiào ān xīn le ba |
| [16:16.34] |
Well, let' s take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. lái kàn kàn nǐ de pí fū yì cháng ba |
| [16:19.94] |
Come on, have a seat. qǐng zuò |
| [16:25.85] |
As I suspected, it' s a kundus. gēn wǒ xiǎng de yí yàng, shì kūn dù sī |
| [16:31.12] |
What' s a " kundus"? shén me shì kūn dù sī? |
| [16:32.45] |
I don' t know. What' s a kundus with you? bù xiǎo de, duì nǐ lái shuō shì shén me? |
| [16:40.39] |
Please lie down. qǐng pā xià |
| [16:41.86] |
I' ve got a salve that ought to shrink that right up. wǒ yǒu yī zhǒng yào gāo kě yǐ ràng tā suō xiǎo |
| [16:45.83] |
I guess it' s worth a try. zhí de yī shì |
| [16:47.90] |
Sure. We should see results nà dāng rán, xiào guǒ yīng gāi |
| [16:50.24] |
Clearly not the way to go! xiǎn rán bù néng zhè me zuò |
| [16:54.04] |
What? What? wèi shí me? |
| [16:55.71] |
We appear to have angered it. wǒ men sì hū rě huǒ tā le |
| [16:58.35] |
We? We angered it? wǒ men rě huǒ tā le? |
| [17:02.55] |
I think I see the problem. wǒ kàn dào zhēng jié le |
| [17:05.15] |
And I' m afraid we' re gonna have to use a much stronger tool. wǒ men dé dòng yòng gèng yǒu lì de shǒu duàn |
| [17:10.49] |
Love. ài |
| [17:13.00] |
Oh, God! bài tuō |
| [17:16.16] |
There is absolutely no way this is gonna come off... tā jué duì bù kě néng tuō luò |
| [17:20.03] |
... unless you start to.... chú fēi nǐ yòng |
| [17:22.17] |
What was that? zěn me le? |
| [17:24.91] |
Well, it' s gone. tā diào xià lái le |
| [17:27.84] |
How' s that? zěn me huì? |
| [17:29.34] |
Got caught in my watch. bèi wǒ de shǒu biǎo guā diào le |
| [17:36.52] |
Lights. dēng guāng |
| [17:39.02] |
Romantic lights. làng màn de dēng guāng |
| [17:42.22] |
Nice. zhēn hǎo |
| [17:44.09] |
So there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about. wǒ shuō guò yǒu shì qíng yào gào sù nǐ |
| [17:48.03] |
Oh, right. I' d completely forgot about that. duì ō, wǒ dōu wàng le |
| [17:54.54] |
I' ve been doing a lot of thinking. wǒ zuì jìn xiǎng le hěn duō |
| [17:57.27] |
And I look at my life... wǒ jiǎn tǎo wǒ de rén shēng |
| [18:00.71] |
... and I feel like I' ve conquered the business world. jué de wǒ yǐ jīng zhēng fú le shāng chǎng |
| [18:15.72] |
But there' s one thing missing. dàn shì hái yǒu yí gè quē hàn |
| [18:18.76] |
What' s that? shén me quē hàn? |
| [18:21.60] |
It' s time for me to conquer the physical world. wǒ gāi zhēng fú tǐ yù jiè le |
| [18:31.51] |
I wanna become... wǒ xiǎng chéng wéi |
| [18:37.58] |
You wanna what? nǐ xiǎng zěn yàng? |
| [18:40.15] |
I wanna be the Ultimate Fighting Champion. wǒ xiǎng chéng wéi zhōng jí gé dòu guàn jūn |
| [18:42.48] |
It' s the most intense physical competition in the world. nà shi quán shì jiè zuì jī liè de tǐ néng jìng jì |
| [18:45.52] |
It' s banned in 49 states. zài sì shí jiǔ zhōu bèi jìn |
| [18:47.62] |
What are you talking about? nǐ zài shuō shí mǒ? |
| [18:49.62] |
My trainer, Hoshi, is teaching me... wǒ de jiào liàn zhèng zài jiào wǒ |
| [18:51.76] |
... Jeet Kune Do and Brazilian streetfighting. jié quán dào hé bā xī jiē tóu bó jī |
| [18:54.26] |
I even had my own octagon training ring designed. wǒ hái qǐng rén shè jì le zhuān yòng de bā jiǎo xùn liàn chǎng |
| [18:57.70] |
And I suppose you used a ring designer for that. suǒ yǐ nǐ zhǎo le shè jì shī jiè zhǐ zì tóng quán jī chǎng |
| [19:04.00] |
I want you there, in the front row, when I win. wǒ yào nǐ zài zuì qián pái kàn wǒ yíng de shèng lì |
| [19:07.01] |
I want you close enough to smell the blood. wǒ yào nǐ jìn dé kě yǐ wén dào xuè xīng wèi |
| [19:11.61] |
What do you think? nǐ yì xià rú hé? |
| [19:14.52] |
My parents will be so happy. wǒ de fù mǔ huì hěn gāo xìng |
| [19:21.92] |
Crazy underwear Creeping up my butt fēng kuáng de nèi kù |
| [19:26.63] |
Crazy underwear Always in a rut fēng kuáng de nèi kù, zǒng shì yī chéng bù biàn |
| [19:30.63] |
Crazy underwear fēng kuáng de nèi kù |
| [19:36.27] |
What is he doing here? tā lái gàn shén me? |
| [19:38.21] |
All right, just keep playing. jì xù chàng |
| [19:40.44] |
You' ll get through this. You' ll be fine. nǐ huì ān quán guò guān, bú huì yǒu shì |
| [19:52.89] |
Okay, thank you. xiè xiè dà jiā |
| [19:55.56] |
And as always, no one talk to me after the show. yī zhào guàn lì yǎn chàng wán bú yào gēn wǒ shuō huà |
| [20:04.33] |
I was passing by and saw you were playing. wǒ gāng hǎo lù guò, kàn dào nǐ zài biǎo yǎn |
| [20:06.73] |
This is cool, seeing you up there. nǐ zài tái shàng de gǎn jué hǎo bàng |
| [20:12.24] |
What' s going on here? Who' s this guy? zěn me huí shì? tā shì shuí? |
| [20:15.41] |
I don' t know! He just started kissing me. Get him, Vince! wǒ bù zhī dào, tā tū rán pǎo lái qīn wǒ kuài zhuō zhù tā |
| [20:20.88] |
What? shén me? |
| [20:23.42] |
I' ve been dating both of you. wǒ tóng shí gēn nǐ men jiāo wǎng |
| [20:27.09] |
And it' s been really horrible, because it' s been... zhè zhǒng gǎn jué hěn chà, yīn wèi |
| [20:30.42] |
... a lot of fun for me. shí zài hěn guò yǐn |
| [20:35.40] |
But I like you both... nǐ men liǎng gè wǒ dōu xǐ huān |
| [20:38.67] |
... and I didn' t know how to choose. wǒ bù zhī dào gāi xuǎn shuí |
| [20:41.17] |
So I' m sorry. I' m terrible. I' m a terrible person. duì bù qǐ, wǒ hěn chà jìn wǒ tài chà jìn le |
| [20:46.04] |
Relax. It' s okay. I mean.... bié zhè yàng, méi guān xì |
| [20:48.84] |
We never said this was exclusive. wǒ men yòu méi shuō zhǐ néng gēn bǐ cǐ jiāo wǎng |
| [20:51.45] |
Neither did we. So give yourself a break. wǒ men yě shì, nǐ bié tài zì zé |
| [20:55.18] |
Really? zhēn de? |
| [20:57.42] |
We haven' t been going out that long. wǒ men jiāo wǎng de shí jiān yòu bù zhǎng |
| [20:59.92] |
Come on, we haven' t even slept together yet. shèn zhì hái méi shàng guò chuáng |
| [21:03.36] |
You haven' t? nǐ men méi yǒu? |
| [21:07.56] |
You have? nǐ men yǒu? |
| [21:08.60] |
Well, this is none of my business. zhè shì nǐ men de wèn tí |
| [21:13.70] |
I can' t believe this! You slept with him? wǒ zhēn bù gǎn xiāng xìn nǐ gēn tā shàng chuáng le? |
| [21:17.07] |
Well, I made you a candlelight dinner in the park. wǒ péi nǐ zài gōng yuán chī guò zhú guāng wǎn cān a |
| [21:21.94] |
I' m gonna make this real easy for you. wǒ lái tì nǐ shěng diào yí gè má fán |
| [21:30.82] |
That could' ve been really awkward. xìng hǎo méi yǒu tài nán kàn |
| [21:36.29] |
You made him a candlelight dinner in the park? nǐ péi tā zài gōng yuán chī zhú guāng wǎn cān? |
| [21:39.73] |
Yeah, but I can do that for you. I' m gonna do that for you. wǒ yě kě yǐ péi nǐ chī, wǒ huì péi nǐ chī |
| [21:43.40] |
I can' t believe I went out with somebody... wǒ jū rán gēn yí gè |
| [21:46.13] |
... who' d have an open flame in the middle of a wooded area! zài lín mù qū diǎn huǒ de rén jiāo wǎng |
| [21:59.05] |
Everything' s gonna be all right. bú huì yǒu shì de |
| [22:02.65] |
Okay, Dick? hǎo ma, dí kè? |
| [22:07.22] |
Hello. I am Guru Saj. nǐ men hǎo, wǒ shì sà jí dà shī |
| [22:12.66] |
He' s a duck, right? Because otherwise... tā shì yā zǐ ba? fǒu zé |
| [22:15.33] |
... this is way out of my league. jiù chāo chū wǒ de néng lì fàn wéi le |
| [22:18.30] |
He' s got a really bad cough, and our vet can' t stop it. tā hāi de hěn yán zhòng, shòu yī zhì bù hǎo |
| [22:22.47] |
Is there something you can do? nǐ yǒu bàn fǎ ma? |
| [22:24.64] |
Let me see. wǒ kàn kàn |
| [22:26.94] |
Let me see. wǒ kàn kàn |
| [22:30.64] |
Do you think you could get him to eat a bat? nǐ néng ràng tā chī xià biān fú ma? |