| [00:02.550] | 甲：现在看电视的说要看谁呢？ |
| [00:07.110] | 乙：看谁呢？ |
| [00:08.220] | 甲：主要是看主持人。 |
| [00:09.500] | 乙：对，看主持人。 |
| [00:10.790] | 甲：各位观众，各位朋友，谢谢大家收看由我主持的电视节目，请不要忘记我的名字，我就是著名的电视主持人—胡瓜… |
| [00:21.770] | 乙：恩？ |
| [00:22.630] | 甲：的弟弟—面瓜。咳！ |
| [00:29.030] | 乙：大家不要上当受骗。 |
| [00:30.590] | 甲：啊？ |
| [00:31.670] | 乙：请大家换一个频道，请大家收看由我为您带来的一窝蜂电视节目… |
| [00:37.270] | 甲：一窝蜂？各位观众，各位朋友，请大家收看由我主持的电视节目，谁收看由我主持的电视节目，我将跟谁共进晚餐，然后由你买单，哇噻，好好玩哦。 |
| [00:54.840] | 乙：大家不要上当啊，收看我为你主持的电视节目， |
| [00:58.280] | 甲：啊， |
| [00:58.960] | 乙：你就会发财的。 |
| [00:59.720] | 甲：发财？ |
| [01:00.660] | 乙：谁坚持收看我主持的电视节目，一百个小时不上厕所的，每个人发一百块钱。 |
| [01:06.130] | 甲：他打算憋死几个。 |
| [01:07.420] | 乙：唉，有奖收看。 |
| [01:08.490] | 甲：各位观众，各位朋友，请您收看我们台著名节目主持人无聊为您主持的明星隐私大暴光节目。 |
| [01:17.580] | 乙：咦，这个节目没看过，什么内容？ |
| [01:19.850] | 甲：在这个美好的夜晚，我将带领你走进名人的卧室，看一看任贤齐的睡像有多酷，问一问张曼玉睡觉盖不盖被褥，听一听周润发打不打呼噜，查一查黎明穿的是什么牌子的内裤。谢谢，谢谢。 |
| [01:43.010] | 乙：全是花边新闻。 |
| [01:44.520] | 甲：今天晚上主打新闻是著名笑星大兵的私生子准备当场认父。谢谢，谢谢。 |
| [01:56.750] | 乙：这是谣言，我大兵一辈子从来没有做过这种缺德的事情。 |
| [02:02.960] | 甲：经查实，大兵认为他的私生子的岁数不对。 |
| [02:07.330] | 乙：私生子多大了？ |
| [02:08.530] | 甲：59岁。 |
| [02:10.650] | 乙：那是私生爹。 |
| [02:13.230] | 甲：接下来… |
| [02:14.030] | 乙：以上消息都不可*，一打官司他就是被告，你要听更加刺激的新闻，请锁定我们的频道。 |
| [02:20.350] | 甲：你们什么频道？ |
| [02:21.760] | 乙：一窝蜂电视台。 |
| [02:23.010] | 甲：跟着起哄。 |
| [02:24.190] | 乙：你有什么我有什么，看谁的收视率高。我们这也是明星隐私大暴光，本次节目主打新闻是著名相声演员奇志办了一个相声培训班， |
| [02:35.370] | 甲：说我呢 |
| [02:36.760] | 乙：全班只招了一个学生， |
| [02:39.340] | 甲：我条件要求高。 |
| [02:41.730] | 乙：是一个28岁的小寡妇。 |
| [02:46.760] | 甲：就她够条件。 |
| [02:48.290] | 乙：什么够条件，还不是看人家年轻漂亮又没有人管，每天买两斤葡萄，让人家吃了吐、吐了吃。 |
| [02:56.610] | 甲：他不懂，那是我们相声基本功绕口令吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮。哼！ |
| [03:01.840] | 乙：你还别说，半年后教学成果非常显著 |
| [03:04.790] | 甲：小寡妇会说相声了。 |
| [03:06.880] | 乙：小寡妇怀孕了。昨天刚生的，哈哈哈，我跑到医院一看，你猜那孩子像谁？ |
| [03:20.030] | 甲：像我？ |
| [03:21.260] | 乙：你看他承认了是吧。我说那孩子生下来是个怪胎， |
| [03:27.070] | 甲：是个怪胎？ |
| [03:28.650] | 乙：正常的都是一边长只手，你猜那孩子右边长几只手？ |
| [03:31.520] | 甲：三只手 |
| [03:32.140] | 乙：你看他全了解。 |
| [03:33.570] | 甲：什么了解这个，我告诉你啊，那28岁是我爱人。我告诉你啊，别把我们家的事楞搁到这上边。 |
| [03:39.930] | 乙：你甭管，反正我们收视率高。 |
| [03:41.910] | 甲：各位观众，各位朋友，请您收看我们台著名节目主持人李铁嘴为您主持的体育节目。 |
| [03:49.080] | 乙：李铁嘴？他那嘴有多厉害？ |
| [03:52.240] | 甲：（大舌头）观众朋友们，观众朋友们，我们现在是日本大阪向您现场直播世界杯足球赛亚洲小组赛中国队对哈撒克斯坦队。谢谢，谢谢 |
| [04:03.720] | 乙：中国队对哪里？ |
| [04:06.950] | 甲：哈撒克斯坦队。 |
| [04:08.680] | 乙：舌头抽筋吧你 |
| [04:10.410] | 甲：首先有哈撒克斯坦队进前场球，好球，一个长传，传个18号，18号传给14号，14号传给4号，4号传给10号，10号又传给14号，14号又传给~~14号又传给~~四是四，十是十，四十是四十，十四是十四，十~~四~` |
| [04:34.190] | 乙：你要抽风吧你？球呢？ |
| [04:37.040] | 甲：球找不着了。不好，一个冷射，球冲着中国的球门飞过来。 |
| [04:43.280] | 乙：耶， |
| [04:43.890] | 甲：就在这关键的时候，中国守门员怎么办？接？还是不接？请回答。 |
| [04:54.520] | 乙：接呀！ |
| [04:56.740] | 甲：对，接。中国守门员一个鱼跃轻轻的将球揽在了自己的怀里，好球，现在足球在中国队脚下。 |
| [05:08.200] | 乙：好。 |
| [05:08.920] | 甲：李伟峰一技长传，把球传给了李铁，李铁又一个妙传，传给孙继海，孙继海左晃右晃，晃过了两个后卫，又晃过了守门员，是个空门， |
| [05:19.020] | 乙：射门， |
| [05:19.820] | 甲：就在这关键的时刻，孙继海想起了他的爷爷。 |
| [05:27.580] | 乙：他为什么这个时候想爷爷？ |
| [05:29.430] | 甲：因为孙继海的爷爷是铁道游击队队长。 |
| [05:35.080] | 乙：等等，等等，说清楚，他爷爷是干什么的？ |
| [05:36.710] | 甲：铁道游击队队长。你说这么清楚的口齿，他都听不清楚，真是。这人是大耳朵。 |
| [05:44.470] | 乙：大家不要误会啊，我比较了解他，可能大家没听清楚，他说孙继海的爷爷是铁道游击队的队长。你让他再说一遍。 |
| [05:54.850] | 甲：铁道游击队的队长。爬火车，炸桥梁，就像一把尖刀插进了敌人的心脏，想到这里孙继海浑身充满了力量。 |
| [06:05.230] | 乙：射门！ |
| [06:06.570] | 甲：他又想起他爷爷的爷爷。孙继海爷爷的爷爷是义和团的团长。 |
| [06:15.230] | 乙：义和团就有团长了，您听啊 |
| [06:18.330] | 甲：飞檐走壁，刀枪不入，杀的洋鬼子屁滚尿流，想到这里浑身充满了力量。 |
| [06:22.650] | 乙：射门！ |
| [06:23.560] | 甲：他又想起了 |
| [06:25.010] | 甲乙：他爷爷的爷爷的爷爷。 |
| [06:26.530] | 乙：你让他先射门再想爷爷也来得及。 |
| [06:29.270] | 甲：孙继海想完了所有的爷爷，射门！ |
| [06:31.710] | 乙：球进了。 |
| [06:32.920] | 甲：预知后事如何，吃完了晚饭我们接着继续解说。这么好出主持人给我推下来了，怎么回事？ |
| [06:36.010] | 乙：太可恨了，这种节目主持人档次太低了。 |
| [06:43.520] | 甲：我低 |
| [06:44.670] | 乙：观众朋友们，你们盼望已久的高档的节目主持人终于出现在你的面前。 |
| [06:47.910] | 甲：在哪呢？ |
| [06:49.480] | 乙：在这里。我作为高档的节目主持人最大的特点就是善于煽情。 |
| [06:56.910] | 甲：煽情的节目主持人。 |
| [06:58.090] | 乙：任何节目只要我一主持，观众就想哭。 |
| [07:02.330] | 甲：那不可能， |
| [07:03.290] | 乙：不可能？ |
| [07:04.140] | 甲：我们相声节目就哭不了。 |
| [07:05.290] | 乙：只要我给你主持观众照样哭。 |
| [07:07.240] | 甲：那我就不信，你给我们主持个相声节目。 |
| [07:08.940] | 乙：来吧 |
| [07:10.250] | 甲：今儿晚上我给大家说段相声。这相声呢，笑一笑十年少。 |
| [07:14.720] | 乙：观众朋友， |
| [07:15.550] | 甲：大伙， |
| [07:16.680] | 乙：此时此刻为您表演相声的是我国著名的相声表演艺术家， |
| [07:22.880] | 甲：给我主持节目呢 |
| [07:24.410] | 乙：理论家、教育家、社会活动家、久经考验的相声战士奇志。 |
| [07:41.800] | 甲：他这给我致悼词呢这是 |
| [07:44.810] | 乙：奇志出生贫寒。 |
| [07:47.750] | 甲：我说相声，你说我贫寒这事干什么， |
| [07:50.520] | 乙：苦大仇深， |
| [07:52.330] | 甲：我啊？ |
| [07:53.830] | 乙：苦到什么地步？他还没有出生，爹妈就双双去世了。 |
| [08:05.250] | 甲：你别哭了，别哭了，我还没出生呢，我父母就去世了，我从哪来啊？ |
| [08:13.550] | 乙：煽情嘛。 |
| [08:14.790] | 甲：煽情你得符合生活逻辑啊？ |
| [08:17.040] | 乙：好好，好，他出生不久爹妈就双双去世了。 |
| [08:22.670] | 甲：这多少算句人话。 |
| [08:25.240] | 乙：从小他就是一个孤儿。 |
| [08:26.990] | 甲：又是孤儿 |
| [08:28.710] | 乙：是左右邻居一把屎一把尿把他喂养大。 |
| [08:36.100] | 甲：对，这个东西他小时侯最爱吃了。 |
| [08:40.330] | 乙：后来他改行学的相声， |
| [08:42.170] | 甲：学相声了。 |
| [08:43.180] | 乙：终于成为了一代相声名家！ |
| [08:45.040] | 甲：不容易， |
| [08:46.230] | 乙：他的足迹遍步全世界 |
| [08:48.090] | 甲：走出去了 |
| [08:49.290] | 乙：有一次他在法国演出获得了空前的成功。 |
| [08:52.260] | 甲：到法国了 |
| [08:53.250] | 乙：法国总统极力挽留他留在法国，而奇志坚定的说，不，我是中国人。我的祖国在湖南。哈哈哈。 |
| [09:06.260] | 甲：（学哭） |
| [09:09.000] | 乙：每次我煽情就有人哭的。 |
| [09:10.580] | 甲：我不能不哭，我什么文化，我的祖国在湖南。 |
| [09:15.040] | 乙：这不显得你热爱家乡嘛。 |
| [09:15.960] | 甲：行了你，胡编乱造你。 |
| [09:17.500] | 乙：马上就哭了。 |
| [09:18.660] | 甲：各位观众，各位朋友，请您收看由我亲自为你主持的知识竞猜节目。 |
| [09:23.560] | 乙：那不如看我给你主持的知识竞赛。 |
| [09:25.860] | 甲：我们这有50万元大奖。 |
| [09:26.830] | 乙：我们这500万。 |
| [09:30.440] | 甲：朋友们，孔子说的好，有朋自远方（音倒）来，不亦~~~ |
| [09:36.400] | 乙：（堵甲嘴） |
| [09:39.700] | 甲：谁堵我嘴？谁堵我嘴？ |
| [09:40.650] | 乙：孔子这句话没说清楚，你再说一遍。 |
| [09:43.630] | 甲：有朋自远方（音倒）来，不~~ |
| [09:46.600] | 乙：你吃多了冤枉吧你？ |
| [09:48.110] | 甲：我怎么吃多冤枉呢？ |
| [09:49.240] | 乙：听嘛？有朋自冤枉来。有朋自远方来，文盲。 |
| [09:54.810] | 甲：依着你。 |
| [09:55.860] | 乙：依着我看嘛？依着孔子。 |
| [09:58.190] | 甲：孔子说，有朋自远方来，不亦 |
| [10:02.370] | 乙：哎 |
| [10:03.130] | 甲：招呼。 |
| [10:04.990] | 乙：你招呼哪位朋友上来抽你一嘴巴。 |
| [10:08.150] | 甲：来那么客人不容易招呼，所以说孔子说，不亦招呼。没读过古文。 |
| [10:12.790] | 乙：你这种档次怎么能主持节目？啊？你这种水平怎么能当节目主持人？ |
| [10:20.050] | 甲：这不就当了嘛 |
| [10:21.480] | 乙：你也去念点书。学习学习，不要站在台上一张嘴就露出你那没有文化的破*。 |
| [10:32.380] | 甲：观众们，观众朋友们，这个主持人的破*都露出来了，你说他当节目主持人，真是让我们生可忍，熟不可忍那。 |
| [10:43.880] | 乙：恩，你自己在台上栝不知耻，你知道嘛？ |
| [10:46.710] | 甲：今天的观众一共有两个方阵。 |
| [10:48.770] | 乙：我们这也有两个方阵。 |
| [10:51.360] | 甲：这边这个方阵是带红帽子的。 |
| [10:52.290] | 乙：这边是带蓝帽子的方阵。 |
| [10:53.210] | 甲：这两个方阵将产生一名幸运观众。 |
| [10:55.960] | 乙：可有幸运大奖。 |
| [10:57.570] | 甲：他将得到一顶纯金的绿帽子。谢谢，下面是一个快速抢答题，看谁最先抢到。 |
| [11:10.730] | 乙：什么题目？ |
| [11:11.960] | 甲：请回答话剧《雷雨》的作者是A、曹操，B曹雪芹，C曹偶。请回答。 |
| [11:26.610] | 乙：你这里头没有正确答案啊，啊？还曹偶？ |
| [11:32.330] | 甲：错，应该是B曹雪芹。 |
| [11:37.640] | 乙：呸！ |
| [11:38.860] | 甲：诶，哪下雨了？哪里下雨了？ |
| [11:41.830] | 乙：小孩儿都知道，这是一个常识。 |
| [11:44.590] | 甲：常识？ |
| [11:45.930] | 乙：曹雪芹写《雷雨》啊？曹雪芹是中国一代文豪，他写的四大名著之一《水许》。 |
| [11:54.330] | 甲：哦，对对对对。 |
| [11:55.950] | 乙：档次太低了。 |
| [11:57.440] | 甲：观众朋友们，观众朋友们，重要更正，确实是《水许》是曹雪芹写的啊，曹雪芹这个女同志非常的不容易，做了结扎，坚持计划生育，写出了《水许》这部名著啊。 |
| [12:14.620] | 乙：你看过《水许》吗你？ |
| [12:16.570] | 甲：我怎么没看过？《水许》中有一章写的最精彩。 |
| [12:20.030] | 乙：哪一章？ |
| [12:20.570] | 甲：叫夏侯敦大战西门庆。 |
| [12:25.340] | 乙：夏侯敦跟西门庆打架？ |
| [12:27.150] | 甲：我给你学学，那一日，西门庆走在路上，迎面碰上了夏侯敦。 |
| [12:33.870] | 乙：那是碰上鬼了。 |
| [12:36.940] | 甲：夏侯敦骑着马带着枪，一见西门庆怒从心中起，大喊一声，呔！西门庆，臭流氓。调戏我老婆，我打死你，看枪！一枪劈面打来。 |
| [12:52.560] | 乙：这谁也不能怪。就怪西门庆，你说你调戏谁不行，你调戏夏侯敦的老婆？ |
| [12:59.410] | 甲：他谁老婆都调戏，这人流氓。 |
| [13:01.030] | 乙：恩，他夏侯敦的老婆比你西门庆大500多岁，你调戏他有什么用？真是。 |
| [13:08.320] | 甲：这你不懂，你不懂，你不懂，你不懂，你根本不懂。西门庆一见，大事不好，喊了一声，哇噻！ |
| [13:19.680] | 乙：你听这哇噻是西门庆喊的？哈哈 |
| [13:22.500] | 甲：不好，我儿救我！ |
| [13:24.860] | 乙：关键时刻还是*儿子。 |
| [13:25.740] | 甲：恩。 |
| [13:26.990] | 乙：呀呀呀呀，西门庆好象没有儿子。 |
| [13:30.570] | 甲：西门庆的儿子你不知道谁吗？ |
| [13:32.750] | 乙：《水许》我翻烂了没看见他有儿子。 |
| [13:35.350] | 甲：看过书，西门庆的儿子！ |
| [13:37.640] | 乙：西门庆的儿子是谁？ |
| [13:38.800] | 甲：西门子啊。 |
| [13:44.400] | 乙：唉呦，领教领教，哦，西门庆的儿子是西门子啊！ |
| [13:47.840] | 甲：唉。 |
| [13:48.600] | 乙：那他有儿子，夏侯敦有女儿啊。 |
| [13:50.950] | 甲：他的女儿是谁啊？ |
| [13:52.090] | 乙：夏士莲啊 |
| [00:02.550] | jia: xian zai kan dian shi de shuo yao kan shui ne? |
| [00:07.110] | yi: kan shui ne? |
| [00:08.220] | jia: zhu yao shi kan zhu chi ren. |
| [00:09.500] | yi: dui, kan zhu chi ren. |
| [00:10.790] | jia: ge wei guan zhong, ge wei peng you, xie xie da jia shou kan you wo zhu chi de dian shi jie mu, qing bu yao wang ji wo de ming zi, wo jiu shi zhu ming de dian shi zhu chi ren hu gua |
| [00:21.770] | yi: en? |
| [00:22.630] | jia: de di di mian gua. hai! |
| [00:29.030] | yi: da jia bu yao shang dang shou pian. |
| [00:30.590] | jia: a? |
| [00:31.670] | yi: qing da jia huan yi ge pin dao, qing da jia shou kan you wo wei nin dai lai de yi wo feng dian shi jie mu |
| [00:37.270] | jia: yi wo feng? ge wei guan zhong, ge wei peng you, qing da jia shou kan you wo zhu chi de dian shi jie mu, shui shou kan you wo zhu chi de dian shi jie mu, wo jiang gen shui gong jin wan can, ran hou you ni mai dan, wa sai, hao hao wan o. |
| [00:54.840] | yi: da jia bu yao shang dang a, shou kan wo wei ni zhu chi de dian shi jie mu, |
| [00:58.280] | jia: a, |
| [00:58.960] | yi: ni jiu hui fa cai de. |
| [00:59.720] | jia: fa cai? |
| [01:00.660] | yi: shui jian chi shou kan wo zhu chi de dian shi jie mu, yi bai ge xiao shi bu shang ce suo de, mei ge ren fa yi bai kuai qian. |
| [01:06.130] | jia: ta da suan bie si ji ge. |
| [01:07.420] | yi: ai, you jiang shou kan. |
| [01:08.490] | jia: ge wei guan zhong, ge wei peng you, qing nin shou kan wo men tai zhu ming jie mu zhu chi ren wu liao wei nin zhu chi de ming xing yin si da bao guang jie mu. |
| [01:17.580] | yi: yi, zhe ge jie mu mei kan guo, shen me nei rong? |
| [01:19.850] | jia: zai zhe ge mei hao de ye wan, wo jiang dai ling ni zou jin ming ren de wo shi, kan yi kan ren xian qi de shui xiang you duo ku, wen yi wen zhang man yu shui jiao gai bu gai bei ru, ting yi ting zhou run fa da bu da hu lu, cha yi cha li ming chuan de shi shen me pai zi de nei ku. xie xie, xie xie. |
| [01:43.010] | yi: quan shi hua bian xin wen. |
| [01:44.520] | jia: jin tian wan shang zhu da xin wen shi zhu ming xiao xing da bing de si sheng zi zhun bei dang chang ren fu. xie xie, xie xie. |
| [01:56.750] | yi: zhe shi yao yan, wo da bing yi bei zi cong lai mei you zuo guo zhe zhong que de de shi qing. |
| [02:02.960] | jia: jing cha shi, da bing ren wei ta de si sheng zi de sui shu bu dui. |
| [02:07.330] | yi: si sheng zi duo da le? |
| [02:08.530] | jia: 59 sui. |
| [02:10.650] | yi: na shi si sheng die. |
| [02:13.230] | jia: jie xia lai |
| [02:14.030] | yi: yi shang xiao xi dou bu ke, yi da guan si ta jiu shi bei gao, ni yao ting geng jia ci ji de xin wen, qing suo ding wo men de pin dao. |
| [02:20.350] | jia: ni men shen me pin dao? |
| [02:21.760] | yi: yi wo feng dian shi tai. |
| [02:23.010] | jia: gen zhe qi hong. |
| [02:24.190] | yi: ni you shen me wo you shen me, kan shui de shou shi lv gao. wo men zhe ye shi ming xing yin si da bao guang, ben ci jie mu zhu da xin wen shi zhu ming xiang sheng yan yuan qi zhi ban le yi ge xiang sheng pei xun ban, |
| [02:35.370] | jia: shuo wo ne |
| [02:36.760] | yi: quan ban zhi zhao le yi ge xue sheng, |
| [02:39.340] | jia: wo tiao jian yao qiu gao. |
| [02:41.730] | yi: shi yi ge 28 sui de xiao gua fu. |
| [02:46.760] | jia: jiu ta gou tiao jian. |
| [02:48.290] | yi: shen me gou tiao jian, hai bu shi kan ren jia nian qing piao liang you mei you ren guan, mei tian mai liang jin pu tao, rang ren jia chi le tu tu le chi. |
| [02:56.610] | jia: ta bu dong, na shi wo men xiang sheng ji ben gong rao kou ling chi pu tao bu tu pu tao pi. heng! |
| [03:01.840] | yi: ni hai bie shuo, ban nian hou jiao xue cheng guo fei chang xian zhu |
| [03:04.790] | jia: xiao gua fu hui shuo xiang sheng le. |
| [03:06.880] | yi: xiao gua fu huai yun le. zuo tian gang sheng de, ha ha ha, wo pao dao yi yuan yi kan, ni cai na hai zi xiang shui? |
| [03:20.030] | jia: xiang wo? |
| [03:21.260] | yi: ni kan ta cheng ren le shi ba. wo shuo na hai zi sheng xia lai shi ge guai tai, |
| [03:27.070] | jia: shi ge guai tai? |
| [03:28.650] | yi: zheng chang de dou shi yi bian chang zhi shou, ni cai na hai zi you bian chang ji zhi shou? |
| [03:31.520] | jia: san zhi shou |
| [03:32.140] | yi: ni kan ta quan liao jie. |
| [03:33.570] | jia: shen me liao jie zhe ge, wo gao su ni a, na 28 sui shi wo ai ren. wo gao su ni a, bie ba wo men jia de shi leng ge dao zhe shang bian. |
| [03:39.930] | yi: ni beng guan, fan zheng wo men shou shi lv gao. |
| [03:41.910] | jia: ge wei guan zhong, ge wei peng you, qing nin shou kan wo men tai zhu ming jie mu zhu chi ren li tie zui wei nin zhu chi de ti yu jie mu. |
| [03:49.080] | yi: li tie zui? ta na zui you duo li hai? |
| [03:52.240] | jia: da she tou guan zhong peng you men, guan zhong peng you men, wo men xian zai shi ri ben da ban xiang nin xian chang zhi bo shi jie bei zu qiu sai ya zhou xiao zu sai zhong guo dui dui ha sa ke si tan dui. xie xie, xie xie |
| [04:03.720] | yi: zhong guo dui dui na li? |
| [04:06.950] | jia: ha sa ke si tan dui. |
| [04:08.680] | yi: she tou chou jin ba ni |
| [04:10.410] | jia: shou xian you ha sa ke si tan dui jin qian chang qiu, hao qiu, yi ge zhang chuan, chuan ge 18 hao, 18 hao chuan gei 14 hao, 14 hao chuan gei 4 hao, 4 hao chuan gei 10 hao, 10 hao you chuan gei 14 hao, 14 hao you chuan gei 14 hao you chuan gei si shi si, shi shi shi, si shi shi si shi, shi si shi shi si, shi si |
| [04:34.190] | yi: ni yao chou feng ba ni? qiu ne? |
| [04:37.040] | jia: qiu zhao bu zhao le. bu hao, yi ge leng she, qiu chong zhe zhong guo de qiu men fei guo lai. |
| [04:43.280] | yi: ye, |
| [04:43.890] | jia: jiu zai zhe guan jian de shi hou, zhong guo shou men yuan zen me ban? jie? hai shi bu jie? qing hui da. |
| [04:54.520] | yi: jie ya! |
| [04:56.740] | jia: dui, jie. zhong guo shou men yuan yi ge yu yue qing qing de jiang qiu lan zai le zi ji de huai li, hao qiu, xian zai zu qiu zai zhong guo dui jiao xia. |
| [05:08.200] | yi: hao. |
| [05:08.920] | jia: li wei feng yi ji zhang chuan, ba qiu chuan gei le li tie, li tie you yi ge miao chuan, chuan gei sun ji hai, sun ji hai zuo huang you huang, huang guo le liang ge hou wei, you huang guo le shou men yuan, shi ge kong men, |
| [05:19.020] | yi: she men, |
| [05:19.820] | jia: jiu zai zhe guan jian de shi ke, sun ji hai xiang qi le ta de ye ye. |
| [05:27.580] | yi: ta wei shi me zhe ge shi hou xiang ye ye? |
| [05:29.430] | jia: yin wei sun ji hai de ye ye shi tie dao you ji dui dui zhang. |
| [05:35.080] | yi: deng deng, deng deng, shuo qing chu, ta ye ye shi gan shen me de? |
| [05:36.710] | jia: tie dao you ji dui dui zhang. ni shuo zhe me qing chu de kou chi, ta dou ting bu qing chu, zhen shi. zhe ren shi da er duo. |
| [05:44.470] | yi: da jia bu yao wu hui a, wo bi jiao liao jie ta, ke neng da jia mei ting qing chu, ta shuo sun ji hai de ye ye shi tie dao you ji dui de dui zhang. ni rang ta zai shuo yi bian. |
| [05:54.850] | jia: tie dao you ji dui de dui zhang. pa huo che, zha qiao liang, jiu xiang yi ba jian dao cha jin le di ren de xin zang, xiang dao zhe li sun ji hai hun shen chong man le li liang. |
| [06:05.230] | yi: she men! |
| [06:06.570] | jia: ta you xiang qi ta ye ye de ye ye. sun ji hai ye ye de ye ye shi yi he tuan de tuan zhang. |
| [06:15.230] | yi: yi he tuan jiu you tuan zhang le, nin ting a |
| [06:18.330] | jia: fei yan zou bi, dao qiang bu ru, sha de yang gui zi pi gun niao liu, xiang dao zhe li hun shen chong man le li liang. |
| [06:22.650] | yi: she men! |
| [06:23.560] | jia: ta you xiang qi le |
| [06:25.010] | jia yi: ta ye ye de ye ye de ye ye. |
| [06:26.530] | yi: ni rang ta xian she men zai xiang ye ye ye lai de ji. |
| [06:29.270] | jia: sun ji hai xiang wan le suo you de ye ye, she men! |
| [06:31.710] | yi: qiu jin le. |
| [06:32.920] | jia: yu zhi hou shi ru he, chi wan le wan fan wo men jie zhe ji xu jie shuo. zhe me hao chu zhu chi ren gei wo tui xia lai le, zen me hui shi? |
| [06:36.010] | yi: tai ke hen le, zhe zhong jie mu zhu chi ren dang ci tai di le. |
| [06:43.520] | jia: wo di |
| [06:44.670] | yi: guan zhong peng you men, ni men pan wang yi jiu de gao dang de jie mu zhu chi ren zhong yu chu xian zai ni de mian qian. |
| [06:47.910] | jia: zai na ne? |
| [06:49.480] | yi: zai zhe li. wo zuo wei gao dang de jie mu zhu chi ren zui da de te dian jiu shi shan yu shan qing. |
| [06:56.910] | jia: shan qing de jie mu zhu chi ren. |
| [06:58.090] | yi: ren he jie mu zhi yao wo yi zhu chi, guan zhong jiu xiang ku. |
| [07:02.330] | jia: na bu ke neng, |
| [07:03.290] | yi: bu ke neng? |
| [07:04.140] | jia: wo men xiang sheng jie mu jiu ku bu liao. |
| [07:05.290] | yi: zhi yao wo gei ni zhu chi guan zhong zhao yang ku. |
| [07:07.240] | jia: na wo jiu bu xin, ni gei wo men zhu chi ge xiang sheng jie mu. |
| [07:08.940] | yi: lai ba |
| [07:10.250] | jia: jin er wan shang wo gei da jia shuo duan xiang sheng. zhe xiang sheng ne, xiao yi xiao shi nian shao. |
| [07:14.720] | yi: guan zhong peng you, |
| [07:15.550] | jia: da huo, |
| [07:16.680] | yi: ci shi ci ke wei nin biao yan xiang sheng de shi wo guo zhu ming de xiang sheng biao yan yi shu jia, |
| [07:22.880] | jia: gei wo zhu chi jie mu ne |
| [07:24.410] | yi: li lun jia jiao yu jia she hui huo dong jia jiu jing kao yan de xiang sheng zhan shi qi zhi. |
| [07:41.800] | jia: ta zhe gei wo zhi dao ci ne zhe shi |
| [07:44.810] | yi: qi zhi chu sheng pin han. |
| [07:47.750] | jia: wo shuo xiang sheng, ni shuo wo pin han zhe shi gan shen me, |
| [07:50.520] | yi: ku da chou shen, |
| [07:52.330] | jia: wo a? |
| [07:53.830] | yi: ku dao shen me di bu? ta hai mei you chu sheng, die ma jiu shuang shuang qu shi le. |
| [08:05.250] | jia: ni bie ku le, bie ku le, wo hai mei chu sheng ne, wo fu mu jiu qu shi le, wo cong na lai a? |
| [08:13.550] | yi: shan qing ma. |
| [08:14.790] | jia: shan qing ni de fu he sheng huo luo ji a? |
| [08:17.040] | yi: hao hao, hao, ta chu sheng bu jiu die ma jiu shuang shuang qu shi le. |
| [08:22.670] | jia: zhe duo shao suan ju ren hua. |
| [08:25.240] | yi: cong xiao ta jiu shi yi ge gu er. |
| [08:26.990] | jia: you shi gu er |
| [08:28.710] | yi: shi zuo you lin ju yi ba shi yi ba niao ba ta wei yang da. |
| [08:36.100] | jia: dui, zhe ge dong xi ta xiao shi hou zui ai chi le. |
| [08:40.330] | yi: hou lai ta gai hang xue de xiang sheng, |
| [08:42.170] | jia: xue xiang sheng le. |
| [08:43.180] | yi: zhong yu cheng wei le yi dai xiang sheng ming jia! |
| [08:45.040] | jia: bu rong yi, |
| [08:46.230] | yi: ta de zu ji bian bu quan shi jie |
| [08:48.090] | jia: zou chu qu le |
| [08:49.290] | yi: you yi ci ta zai fa guo yan chu huo de le kong qian de cheng gong. |
| [08:52.260] | jia: dao fa guo le |
| [08:53.250] | yi: fa guo zong tong ji li wan liu ta liu zai fa guo, er qi zhi jian ding de shuo, bu, wo shi zhong guo ren. wo de zu guo zai hu nan. ha ha ha. |
| [09:06.260] | jia: xue ku |
| [09:09.000] | yi: mei ci wo shan qing jiu you ren ku de. |
| [09:10.580] | jia: wo bu neng bu ku, wo shen me wen hua, wo de zu guo zai hu nan. |
| [09:15.040] | yi: zhe bu xian de ni re ai jia xiang ma. |
| [09:15.960] | jia: xing le ni, hu bian luan zao ni. |
| [09:17.500] | yi: ma shang jiu ku le. |
| [09:18.660] | jia: ge wei guan zhong, ge wei peng you, qing nin shou kan you wo qin zi wei ni zhu chi de zhi shi jing cai jie mu. |
| [09:23.560] | yi: na bu ru kan wo gei ni zhu chi de zhi shi jing sai. |
| [09:25.860] | jia: wo men zhe you 50 wan yuan da jiang. |
| [09:26.830] | yi: wo men zhe 500 wan. |
| [09:30.440] | jia: peng you men, kong zi shuo de hao, you peng zi yuan fang yin dao lai, bu yi |
| [09:36.400] | yi: du jia zui |
| [09:39.700] | jia: shui du wo zui? shui du wo zui? |
| [09:40.650] | yi: kong zi zhe ju hua mei shuo qing chu, ni zai shuo yi bian. |
| [09:43.630] | jia: you peng zi yuan fang yin dao lai, bu |
| [09:46.600] | yi: ni chi duo le yuan wang ba ni? |
| [09:48.110] | jia: wo zen me chi duo yuan wang ne? |
| [09:49.240] | yi: ting ma? you peng zi yuan wang lai. you peng zi yuan fang lai, wen mang. |
| [09:54.810] | jia: yi zhe ni. |
| [09:55.860] | yi: yi zhe wo kan ma? yi zhe kong zi. |
| [09:58.190] | jia: kong zi shuo, you peng zi yuan fang lai, bu yi |
| [10:02.370] | yi: ai |
| [10:03.130] | jia: zhao hu. |
| [10:04.990] | yi: ni zhao hu na wei peng you shang lai chou ni yi zui ba. |
| [10:08.150] | jia: lai na me ke ren bu rong yi zhao hu, suo yi shuo kong zi shuo, bu yi zhao hu. mei du guo gu wen. |
| [10:12.790] | yi: ni zhe zhong dang ci zen me neng zhu chi jie mu? a? ni zhe zhong shui ping zen me neng dang jie mu zhu chi ren? |
| [10:20.050] | jia: zhe bu jiu dang le ma |
| [10:21.480] | yi: ni ye qu nian dian shu. xue xi xue xi, bu yao zhan zai tai shang yi zhang zui jiu lou chu ni na mei you wen hua de po. |
| [10:32.380] | jia: guan zhong men, guan zhong peng you men, zhe ge zhu chi ren de po dou lou chu lai le, ni shuo ta dang jie mu zhu chi ren, zhen shi rang wo men sheng ke ren, shu bu ke ren na. |
| [10:43.880] | yi: en, ni zi ji zai tai shang gua bu zhi chi, ni zhi dao ma? |
| [10:46.710] | jia: jin tian de guan zhong yi gong you liang ge fang zhen. |
| [10:48.770] | yi: wo men zhe ye you liang ge fang zhen. |
| [10:51.360] | jia: zhe bian zhe ge fang zhen shi dai hong mao zi de. |
| [10:52.290] | yi: zhe bian shi dai lan mao zi de fang zhen. |
| [10:53.210] | jia: zhe liang ge fang zhen jiang chan sheng yi ming xing yun guan zhong. |
| [10:55.960] | yi: ke you xing yun da jiang. |
| [10:57.570] | jia: ta jiang de dao yi ding chun jin de lv mao zi. xie xie, xia mian shi yi ge kuai su qiang da ti, kan shui zui xian qiang dao. |
| [11:10.730] | yi: shen me ti mu? |
| [11:11.960] | jia: qing hui da hua ju lei yu de zuo zhe shi A cao cao, B cao xue qin, C cao ou. qing hui da. |
| [11:26.610] | yi: ni zhe li tou mei you zheng que da an a, a? hai cao ou? |
| [11:32.330] | jia: cuo, ying gai shi B cao xue qin. |
| [11:37.640] | yi: pei! |
| [11:38.860] | jia: ei, na xia yu le? na li xia yu le? |
| [11:41.830] | yi: xiao hai er dou zhi dao, zhe shi yi ge chang shi. |
| [11:44.590] | jia: chang shi? |
| [11:45.930] | yi: cao xue qin xie lei yu a? cao xue qin shi zhong guo yi dai wen hao, ta xie de si da ming zhu zhi yi shui xu. |
| [11:54.330] | jia: o, dui dui dui dui. |
| [11:55.950] | yi: dang ci tai di le. |
| [11:57.440] | jia: guan zhong peng you men, guan zhong peng you men, zhong yao geng zheng, que shi shi shui xu shi cao xue qin xie de a, cao xue qin zhe ge nv tong zhi fei chang de bu rong yi, zuo liao jie zha, jian chi ji hua sheng yu, xie chu le shui xu zhe bu ming zhu a. |
| [12:14.620] | yi: ni kan guo shui xu ma ni? |
| [12:16.570] | jia: wo zen me mei kan guo? shui xu zhong you yi zhang xie de zui jing cai. |
| [12:20.030] | yi: na yi zhang? |
| [12:20.570] | jia: jiao xia hou dun da zhan xi men qing. |
| [12:25.340] | yi: xia hou dun gen xi men qing da jia? |
| [12:27.150] | jia: wo gei ni xue xue, na yi ri, xi men qing zou zai lu shang, ying mian peng shang le xia hou dun. |
| [12:33.870] | yi: na shi peng shang gui le. |
| [12:36.940] | jia: xia hou dun qi zhe ma dai zhe qiang, yi jian xi men qing nu cong xin zhong qi, da han yi sheng, dai! xi men qing, chou liu mang. tiao xi wo lao po, wo da si ni, kan qiang! yi qiang pi mian da lai. |
| [12:52.560] | yi: zhe shui ye bu neng guai. jiu guai xi men qing, ni shuo ni tiao xi shui bu xing, ni tiao xi xia hou dun de lao po? |
| [12:59.410] | jia: ta shui lao po dou tiao xi, zhe ren liu mang. |
| [13:01.030] | yi: en, ta xia hou dun de lao po bi ni xi men qing da 500 duo sui, ni tiao xi ta you shen me yong? zhen shi. |
| [13:08.320] | jia: zhe ni bu dong, ni bu dong, ni bu dong, ni bu dong, ni gen ben bu dong. xi men qing yi jian, da shi bu hao, han le yi sheng, wa sai! |
| [13:19.680] | yi: ni ting zhe wa sai shi xi men qing han de? ha ha |
| [13:22.500] | jia: bu hao, wo er jiu wo! |
| [13:24.860] | yi: guan jian shi ke hai shi er zi. |
| [13:25.740] | jia: en. |
| [13:26.990] | yi: ya ya ya ya, xi men qing hao xiang mei you er zi. |
| [13:30.570] | jia: xi men qing de er zi ni bu zhi dao shui ma? |
| [13:32.750] | yi: shui xu wo fan lan le mei kan jian ta you er zi. |
| [13:35.350] | jia: kan guo shu, xi men qing de er zi! |
| [13:37.640] | yi: xi men qing de er zi shi shui? |
| [13:38.800] | jia: xi men zi a. |
| [13:44.400] | yi: ai you, ling jiao ling jiao, o, xi men qing de er zi shi xi men zi a! |
| [13:47.840] | jia: ai. |
| [13:48.600] | yi: na ta you er zi, xia hou dun you nv er a. |
| [13:50.950] | jia: ta de nv er shi shui a? |
| [13:52.090] | yi: xia shi lian a |
| [00:02.550] | jiǎ: xiàn zài kàn diàn shì de shuō yào kàn shuí ne? |
| [00:07.110] | yǐ: kàn shuí ne? |
| [00:08.220] | jiǎ: zhǔ yào shì kàn zhǔ chí rén. |
| [00:09.500] | yǐ: duì, kàn zhǔ chí rén. |
| [00:10.790] | jiǎ: gè wèi guān zhòng, gè wèi péng yǒu, xiè xiè dà jiā shōu kàn yóu wǒ zhǔ chí de diàn shì jié mù, qǐng bú yào wàng jì wǒ de míng zì, wǒ jiù shì zhù míng de diàn shì zhǔ chí rén hú guā |
| [00:21.770] | yǐ: ēn? |
| [00:22.630] | jiǎ: de dì di miàn guā. hāi! |
| [00:29.030] | yǐ: dà jiā bú yào shàng dàng shòu piàn. |
| [00:30.590] | jiǎ: a? |
| [00:31.670] | yǐ: qǐng dà jiā huàn yí gè pín dào, qǐng dà jiā shōu kàn yóu wǒ wèi nín dài lái de yī wō fēng diàn shì jié mù |
| [00:37.270] | jiǎ: yī wō fēng? gè wèi guān zhòng, gè wèi péng yǒu, qǐng dà jiā shōu kàn yóu wǒ zhǔ chí de diàn shì jié mù, shuí shōu kàn yóu wǒ zhǔ chí de diàn shì jié mù, wǒ jiāng gēn shuí gòng jìn wǎn cān, rán hòu yóu nǐ mǎi dān, wā sāi, hǎo hǎo wán ó. |
| [00:54.840] | yǐ: dà jiā bú yào shàng dàng a, shōu kàn wǒ wèi nǐ zhǔ chí de diàn shì jié mù, |
| [00:58.280] | jiǎ: a, |
| [00:58.960] | yǐ: nǐ jiù huì fā cái de. |
| [00:59.720] | jiǎ: fā cái? |
| [01:00.660] | yǐ: shuí jiān chí shōu kàn wǒ zhǔ chí de diàn shì jié mù, yī bǎi gè xiǎo shí bù shàng cè suǒ de, měi ge rén fā yī bǎi kuài qián. |
| [01:06.130] | jiǎ: tā dǎ suàn biē sǐ jǐ gè. |
| [01:07.420] | yǐ: āi, yǒu jiǎng shōu kàn. |
| [01:08.490] | jiǎ: gè wèi guān zhòng, gè wèi péng yǒu, qǐng nín shōu kàn wǒ men tái zhù míng jié mù zhǔ chí rén wú liáo wèi nín zhǔ chí de míng xīng yǐn sī dà bào guāng jié mù. |
| [01:17.580] | yǐ: yí, zhè gè jié mù méi kàn guò, shén me nèi róng? |
| [01:19.850] | jiǎ: zài zhè gè měi hǎo de yè wǎn, wǒ jiāng dài lǐng nǐ zǒu jìn míng rén de wò shì, kàn yī kàn rèn xián qí de shuì xiàng yǒu duō kù, wèn yī wèn zhāng màn yù shuì jiào gài bù gài bèi rù, tīng yī tīng zhōu rùn fā dǎ bù dǎ hū lū, chá yī chá lí míng chuān de shì shén me pái zi de nèi kù. xiè xiè, xiè xiè. |
| [01:43.010] | yǐ: quán shì huā biān xīn wén. |
| [01:44.520] | jiǎ: jīn tiān wǎn shàng zhǔ dǎ xīn wén shì zhù míng xiào xīng dà bīng de sī shēng zǐ zhǔn bèi dāng chǎng rèn fù. xiè xiè, xiè xiè. |
| [01:56.750] | yǐ: zhè shì yáo yán, wǒ dà bīng yī bèi zi cóng lái méi yǒu zuò guò zhè zhǒng quē dé de shì qíng. |
| [02:02.960] | jiǎ: jīng chá shí, dà bīng rèn wéi tā de sī shēng zǐ de suì shù bú duì. |
| [02:07.330] | yǐ: sī shēng zǐ duō dà le? |
| [02:08.530] | jiǎ: 59 suì. |
| [02:10.650] | yǐ: nà shi sī shēng diē. |
| [02:13.230] | jiǎ: jiē xià lái |
| [02:14.030] | yǐ: yǐ shàng xiāo xī dōu bù kě, yī dǎ guān sī tā jiù shì bèi gào, nǐ yào tīng gèng jiā cì jī de xīn wén, qǐng suǒ dìng wǒ men de pín dào. |
| [02:20.350] | jiǎ: nǐ men shén me pín dào? |
| [02:21.760] | yǐ: yī wō fēng diàn shì tái. |
| [02:23.010] | jiǎ: gēn zhe qǐ hòng. |
| [02:24.190] | yǐ: nǐ yǒu shén me wǒ yǒu shén me, kàn shuí de shōu shì lǜ gāo. wǒ men zhè yě shì míng xīng yǐn sī dà bào guāng, běn cì jié mù zhǔ dǎ xīn wén shì zhù míng xiàng sheng yǎn yuán qí zhì bàn le yí gè xiàng sheng péi xùn bān, |
| [02:35.370] | jiǎ: shuō wǒ ne |
| [02:36.760] | yǐ: quán bān zhǐ zhāo le yí gè xué shēng, |
| [02:39.340] | jiǎ: wǒ tiáo jiàn yāo qiú gāo. |
| [02:41.730] | yǐ: shì yí gè 28 suì de xiǎo guǎ fù. |
| [02:46.760] | jiǎ: jiù tā gòu tiáo jiàn. |
| [02:48.290] | yǐ: shén me gòu tiáo jiàn, hái bú shì kàn rén jiā nián qīng piào liàng yòu méi yǒu rén guǎn, měi tiān mǎi liǎng jīn pú táo, ràng rén jiā chī le tǔ tǔ le chī. |
| [02:56.610] | jiǎ: tā bù dǒng, nà shi wǒ men xiàng sheng jī běn gōng rào kǒu lìng chī pú táo bù tǔ pú táo pí. hēng! |
| [03:01.840] | yǐ: nǐ hái bié shuō, bàn nián hòu jiào xué chéng guǒ fēi cháng xiǎn zhù |
| [03:04.790] | jiǎ: xiǎo guǎ fù huì shuō xiàng sheng le. |
| [03:06.880] | yǐ: xiǎo guǎ fù huái yùn le. zuó tiān gāng shēng de, hā hā hā, wǒ pǎo dào yī yuàn yī kàn, nǐ cāi nà hái zi xiàng shuí? |
| [03:20.030] | jiǎ: xiàng wǒ? |
| [03:21.260] | yǐ: nǐ kàn tā chéng rèn le shì ba. wǒ shuō nà hái zi shēng xià lái shì gè guài tāi, |
| [03:27.070] | jiǎ: shì gè guài tāi? |
| [03:28.650] | yǐ: zhèng cháng de dōu shì yī biān cháng zhī shǒu, nǐ cāi nà hái zi yòu biān cháng jǐ zhī shǒu? |
| [03:31.520] | jiǎ: sān zhī shǒu |
| [03:32.140] | yǐ: nǐ kàn tā quán liǎo jiě. |
| [03:33.570] | jiǎ: shén me liǎo jiě zhè gè, wǒ gào sù nǐ a, nà 28 suì shì wǒ ài rén. wǒ gào sù nǐ a, bié bǎ wǒ men jiā de shì léng gē dào zhè shàng biān. |
| [03:39.930] | yǐ: nǐ béng guǎn, fǎn zhèng wǒ men shōu shì lǜ gāo. |
| [03:41.910] | jiǎ: gè wèi guān zhòng, gè wèi péng yǒu, qǐng nín shōu kàn wǒ men tái zhù míng jié mù zhǔ chí rén lǐ tiě zuǐ wèi nín zhǔ chí de tǐ yù jié mù. |
| [03:49.080] | yǐ: lǐ tiě zuǐ? tā nà zuǐ yǒu duō lì hài? |
| [03:52.240] | jiǎ: dà shé tou guān zhòng péng yǒu men, guān zhòng péng yǒu men, wǒ men xiàn zài shì rì běn dà bǎn xiàng nín xiàn chǎng zhí bō shì jiè bēi zú qiú sài yà zhōu xiǎo zǔ sài zhōng guó duì duì hā sā kè sī tǎn duì. xiè xiè, xiè xiè |
| [04:03.720] | yǐ: zhōng guó duì duì nǎ lǐ? |
| [04:06.950] | jiǎ: hā sā kè sī tǎn duì. |
| [04:08.680] | yǐ: shé tou chōu jīn ba nǐ |
| [04:10.410] | jiǎ: shǒu xiān yǒu hā sā kè sī tǎn duì jìn qián chǎng qiú, hǎo qiú, yí gè zhǎng chuán, chuán gè 18 hào, 18 hào chuán gěi 14 hào, 14 hào chuán gěi 4 hào, 4 hào chuán gěi 10 hào, 10 hào yòu chuán gěi 14 hào, 14 hào yòu chuán gěi 14 hào yòu chuán gěi sì shì sì, shí shì shí, sì shí shì sì shí, shí sì shì shí sì, shí sì |
| [04:34.190] | yǐ: nǐ yào chōu fēng ba nǐ? qiú ne? |
| [04:37.040] | jiǎ: qiú zhǎo bu zháo le. bù hǎo, yí gè lěng shè, qiú chōng zhe zhōng guó de qiú mén fēi guò lái. |
| [04:43.280] | yǐ: yé, |
| [04:43.890] | jiǎ: jiù zài zhè guān jiàn de shí hòu, zhōng guó shǒu mén yuán zěn me bàn? jiē? hái shì bù jiē? qǐng huí dá. |
| [04:54.520] | yǐ: jiē ya! |
| [04:56.740] | jiǎ: duì, jiē. zhōng guó shǒu mén yuán yí gè yú yuè qīng qīng de jiāng qiú lǎn zài le zì jǐ de huái lǐ, hǎo qiú, xiàn zài zú qiú zài zhōng guó duì jiǎo xià. |
| [05:08.200] | yǐ: hǎo. |
| [05:08.920] | jiǎ: lǐ wěi fēng yī jì zhǎng chuán, bǎ qiú chuán gěi le lǐ tiě, lǐ tiě yòu yí gè miào chuán, chuán gěi sūn jì hǎi, sūn jì hǎi zuǒ huǎng yòu huǎng, huǎng guò le liǎng gè hòu wèi, yòu huǎng guò le shǒu mén yuán, shì gè kōng mén, |
| [05:19.020] | yǐ: shè mén, |
| [05:19.820] | jiǎ: jiù zài zhè guān jiàn de shí kè, sūn jì hǎi xiǎng qǐ le tā de yé ye. |
| [05:27.580] | yǐ: tā wèi shí me zhè gè shí hòu xiǎng yé ye? |
| [05:29.430] | jiǎ: yīn wèi sūn jì hǎi de yé ye shì tiě dào yóu jī duì duì zhǎng. |
| [05:35.080] | yǐ: děng děng, děng děng, shuō qīng chǔ, tā yé ye shì gàn shén me de? |
| [05:36.710] | jiǎ: tiě dào yóu jī duì duì zhǎng. nǐ shuō zhè me qīng chǔ de kǒu chǐ, tā dōu tīng bù qīng chǔ, zhēn shì. zhè rén shì dà ěr duǒ. |
| [05:44.470] | yǐ: dà jiā bú yào wù huì a, wǒ bǐ jiào liǎo jiě tā, kě néng dà jiā méi tīng qīng chǔ, tā shuō sūn jì hǎi de yé ye shì tiě dào yóu jī duì de duì zhǎng. nǐ ràng tā zài shuō yī biàn. |
| [05:54.850] | jiǎ: tiě dào yóu jī duì de duì zhǎng. pá huǒ chē, zhà qiáo liáng, jiù xiàng yī bǎ jiān dāo chā jìn le dí rén de xīn zàng, xiǎng dào zhè lǐ sūn jì hǎi hún shēn chōng mǎn le lì liàng. |
| [06:05.230] | yǐ: shè mén! |
| [06:06.570] | jiǎ: tā yòu xiǎng qǐ tā yé ye de yé ye. sūn jì hǎi yé ye de yé ye shì yì hé tuán de tuán zhǎng. |
| [06:15.230] | yǐ: yì hé tuán jiù yǒu tuán zhǎng le, nín tīng a |
| [06:18.330] | jiǎ: fēi yán zǒu bì, dāo qiāng bù rù, shā de yáng guǐ zi pì gǔn niào liú, xiǎng dào zhè lǐ hún shēn chōng mǎn le lì liàng. |
| [06:22.650] | yǐ: shè mén! |
| [06:23.560] | jiǎ: tā yòu xiǎng qǐ le |
| [06:25.010] | jiǎ yǐ: tā yé ye de yé ye de yé ye. |
| [06:26.530] | yǐ: nǐ ràng tā xiān shè mén zài xiǎng yé ye yě lái de jí. |
| [06:29.270] | jiǎ: sūn jì hǎi xiǎng wán le suǒ yǒu de yé ye, shè mén! |
| [06:31.710] | yǐ: qiú jìn le. |
| [06:32.920] | jiǎ: yù zhī hòu shì rú hé, chī wán le wǎn fàn wǒ men jiē zhe jì xù jiě shuō. zhè me hǎo chū zhǔ chí rén gěi wǒ tuī xià lái le, zěn me huí shì? |
| [06:36.010] | yǐ: tài kě hèn le, zhè zhǒng jié mù zhǔ chí rén dàng cì tài dī le. |
| [06:43.520] | jiǎ: wǒ dī |
| [06:44.670] | yǐ: guān zhòng péng yǒu men, nǐ men pàn wàng yǐ jiǔ de gāo dàng de jié mù zhǔ chí rén zhōng yú chū xiàn zài nǐ de miàn qián. |
| [06:47.910] | jiǎ: zài nǎ ne? |
| [06:49.480] | yǐ: zài zhè lǐ. wǒ zuò wéi gāo dàng de jié mù zhǔ chí rén zuì dà de tè diǎn jiù shì shàn yú shān qíng. |
| [06:56.910] | jiǎ: shān qíng de jié mù zhǔ chí rén. |
| [06:58.090] | yǐ: rèn hé jié mù zhǐ yào wǒ yī zhǔ chí, guān zhòng jiù xiǎng kū. |
| [07:02.330] | jiǎ: nà bù kě néng, |
| [07:03.290] | yǐ: bù kě néng? |
| [07:04.140] | jiǎ: wǒ men xiàng sheng jié mù jiù kū bù liǎo. |
| [07:05.290] | yǐ: zhǐ yào wǒ gěi nǐ zhǔ chí guān zhòng zhào yàng kū. |
| [07:07.240] | jiǎ: nà wǒ jiù bù xìn, nǐ gěi wǒ men zhǔ chí gè xiàng sheng jié mù. |
| [07:08.940] | yǐ: lái ba |
| [07:10.250] | jiǎ: jīn ér wǎn shàng wǒ gěi dà jiā shuō duàn xiàng sheng. zhè xiàng sheng ne, xiào yī xiào shí nián shào. |
| [07:14.720] | yǐ: guān zhòng péng yǒu, |
| [07:15.550] | jiǎ: dà huǒ, |
| [07:16.680] | yǐ: cǐ shí cǐ kè wèi nín biǎo yǎn xiàng sheng de shì wǒ guó zhù míng de xiàng sheng biǎo yǎn yì shù jiā, |
| [07:22.880] | jiǎ: gěi wǒ zhǔ chí jié mù ne |
| [07:24.410] | yǐ: lǐ lùn jiā jiào yù jiā shè huì huó dòng jiā jiǔ jīng kǎo yàn de xiàng sheng zhàn shì qí zhì. |
| [07:41.800] | jiǎ: tā zhè gěi wǒ zhì dào cí ne zhè shì |
| [07:44.810] | yǐ: qí zhì chū shēng pín hán. |
| [07:47.750] | jiǎ: wǒ shuō xiàng sheng, nǐ shuō wǒ pín hán zhè shì gàn shén me, |
| [07:50.520] | yǐ: kǔ dà chóu shēn, |
| [07:52.330] | jiǎ: wǒ a? |
| [07:53.830] | yǐ: kǔ dào shén me dì bù? tā hái méi yǒu chū shēng, diē mā jiù shuāng shuāng qù shì le. |
| [08:05.250] | jiǎ: nǐ bié kū le, bié kū le, wǒ hái méi chū shēng ne, wǒ fù mǔ jiù qù shì le, wǒ cóng nǎ lái a? |
| [08:13.550] | yǐ: shān qíng ma. |
| [08:14.790] | jiǎ: shān qíng nǐ dé fú hé shēng huó luó ji a? |
| [08:17.040] | yǐ: hǎo hǎo, hǎo, tā chū shēng bù jiǔ diē mā jiù shuāng shuāng qù shì le. |
| [08:22.670] | jiǎ: zhè duō shǎo suàn jù rén huà. |
| [08:25.240] | yǐ: cóng xiǎo tā jiù shì yí gè gū ér. |
| [08:26.990] | jiǎ: yòu shì gū ér |
| [08:28.710] | yǐ: shì zuǒ yòu lín jū yī bǎ shǐ yī bǎ niào bǎ tā wèi yǎng dà. |
| [08:36.100] | jiǎ: duì, zhè gè dōng xī tā xiǎo shí hóu zuì ài chī le. |
| [08:40.330] | yǐ: hòu lái tā gǎi háng xué de xiàng sheng, |
| [08:42.170] | jiǎ: xué xiàng sheng le. |
| [08:43.180] | yǐ: zhōng yú chéng wéi le yī dài xiàng sheng míng jiā! |
| [08:45.040] | jiǎ: bù róng yì, |
| [08:46.230] | yǐ: tā de zú jī biàn bù quán shì jiè |
| [08:48.090] | jiǎ: zǒu chū qù le |
| [08:49.290] | yǐ: yǒu yī cì tā zài fǎ guó yǎn chū huò dé le kōng qián de chéng gōng. |
| [08:52.260] | jiǎ: dào fǎ guó le |
| [08:53.250] | yǐ: fǎ guó zǒng tǒng jí lì wǎn liú tā liú zài fǎ guó, ér qí zhì jiān dìng de shuō, bù, wǒ shì zhōng guó rén. wǒ de zǔ guó zài hú nán. hā hā hā. |
| [09:06.260] | jiǎ: xué kū |
| [09:09.000] | yǐ: měi cì wǒ shān qíng jiù yǒu rén kū de. |
| [09:10.580] | jiǎ: wǒ bù néng bù kū, wǒ shén me wén huà, wǒ de zǔ guó zài hú nán. |
| [09:15.040] | yǐ: zhè bù xiǎn de nǐ rè ài jiā xiāng ma. |
| [09:15.960] | jiǎ: xíng le nǐ, hú biān luàn zào nǐ. |
| [09:17.500] | yǐ: mǎ shàng jiù kū le. |
| [09:18.660] | jiǎ: gè wèi guān zhòng, gè wèi péng yǒu, qǐng nín shōu kàn yóu wǒ qīn zì wèi nǐ zhǔ chí de zhī shí jìng cāi jié mù. |
| [09:23.560] | yǐ: nà bù rú kàn wǒ gěi nǐ zhǔ chí de zhī shí jìng sài. |
| [09:25.860] | jiǎ: wǒ men zhè yǒu 50 wàn yuán dà jiǎng. |
| [09:26.830] | yǐ: wǒ men zhè 500 wàn. |
| [09:30.440] | jiǎ: péng yǒu men, kǒng zǐ shuō de hǎo, yǒu péng zì yuǎn fāng yīn dào lái, bù yì |
| [09:36.400] | yǐ: dǔ jiǎ zuǐ |
| [09:39.700] | jiǎ: shuí dǔ wǒ zuǐ? shuí dǔ wǒ zuǐ? |
| [09:40.650] | yǐ: kǒng zǐ zhè jù huà méi shuō qīng chǔ, nǐ zài shuō yī biàn. |
| [09:43.630] | jiǎ: yǒu péng zì yuǎn fāng yīn dào lái, bù |
| [09:46.600] | yǐ: nǐ chī duō le yuān wǎng ba nǐ? |
| [09:48.110] | jiǎ: wǒ zěn me chī duō yuān wǎng ne? |
| [09:49.240] | yǐ: tīng ma? yǒu péng zì yuān wǎng lái. yǒu péng zì yuǎn fāng lái, wén máng. |
| [09:54.810] | jiǎ: yī zhe nǐ. |
| [09:55.860] | yǐ: yī zhe wǒ kàn ma? yī zhe kǒng zǐ. |
| [09:58.190] | jiǎ: kǒng zǐ shuō, yǒu péng zì yuǎn fāng lái, bù yì |
| [10:02.370] | yǐ: āi |
| [10:03.130] | jiǎ: zhāo hū. |
| [10:04.990] | yǐ: nǐ zhāo hū nǎ wèi péng yǒu shàng lái chōu nǐ yī zuǐ bā. |
| [10:08.150] | jiǎ: lái nà me kè rén bù róng yì zhāo hū, suǒ yǐ shuō kǒng zǐ shuō, bù yì zhāo hū. méi dú guò gǔ wén. |
| [10:12.790] | yǐ: nǐ zhè zhǒng dàng cì zěn me néng zhǔ chí jié mù? a? nǐ zhè zhǒng shuǐ píng zěn me néng dāng jié mù zhǔ chí rén? |
| [10:20.050] | jiǎ: zhè bù jiù dāng le ma |
| [10:21.480] | yǐ: nǐ yě qù niàn diǎn shū. xué xí xué xí, bú yào zhàn zài tái shàng yī zhāng zuǐ jiù lòu chū nǐ nà méi yǒu wén huà de pò. |
| [10:32.380] | jiǎ: guān zhòng men, guān zhòng péng yǒu men, zhè gè zhǔ chí rén de pò dōu lòu chū lái le, nǐ shuō tā dāng jié mù zhǔ chí rén, zhēn shì ràng wǒ men shēng kě rěn, shú bù kě rěn nà. |
| [10:43.880] | yǐ: ēn, nǐ zì jǐ zài tái shàng guā bù zhī chǐ, nǐ zhī dào ma? |
| [10:46.710] | jiǎ: jīn tiān de guān zhòng yī gòng yǒu liǎng gè fāng zhèn. |
| [10:48.770] | yǐ: wǒ men zhè yě yǒu liǎng gè fāng zhèn. |
| [10:51.360] | jiǎ: zhè biān zhè gè fāng zhèn shì dài hóng mào zi de. |
| [10:52.290] | yǐ: zhè biān shì dài lán mào zi de fāng zhèn. |
| [10:53.210] | jiǎ: zhè liǎng gè fāng zhèn jiāng chǎn shēng yī míng xìng yùn guān zhòng. |
| [10:55.960] | yǐ: kě yǒu xìng yùn dà jiǎng. |
| [10:57.570] | jiǎ: tā jiāng dé dào yī dǐng chún jīn de lǜ mào zi. xiè xiè, xià miàn shì yí gè kuài sù qiǎng dá tí, kàn shuí zuì xiān qiǎng dào. |
| [11:10.730] | yǐ: shén me tí mù? |
| [11:11.960] | jiǎ: qǐng huí dá huà jù léi yǔ de zuò zhě shì A cáo cāo, B cáo xuě qín, C cáo ǒu. qǐng huí dá. |
| [11:26.610] | yǐ: nǐ zhè lǐ tou méi yǒu zhèng què dá àn a, a? hái cáo ǒu? |
| [11:32.330] | jiǎ: cuò, yīng gāi shì B cáo xuě qín. |
| [11:37.640] | yǐ: pēi! |
| [11:38.860] | jiǎ: éi, nǎ xià yǔ le? nǎ lǐ xià yǔ le? |
| [11:41.830] | yǐ: xiǎo hái ér dōu zhī dào, zhè shì yí gè cháng shí. |
| [11:44.590] | jiǎ: cháng shí? |
| [11:45.930] | yǐ: cáo xuě qín xiě léi yǔ a? cáo xuě qín shì zhōng guó yī dài wén háo, tā xiě de sì dà míng zhù zhī yī shuǐ xǔ. |
| [11:54.330] | jiǎ: ó, duì duì duì duì. |
| [11:55.950] | yǐ: dàng cì tài dī le. |
| [11:57.440] | jiǎ: guān zhòng péng yǒu men, guān zhòng péng yǒu men, zhòng yào gēng zhèng, què shí shì shuǐ xǔ shì cáo xuě qín xiě de a, cáo xuě qín zhè gè nǚ tóng zhì fēi cháng de bù róng yì, zuò liǎo jié zhā, jiān chí jì huà shēng yù, xiě chū le shuǐ xǔ zhè bù míng zhù a. |
| [12:14.620] | yǐ: nǐ kàn guò shuǐ xǔ ma nǐ? |
| [12:16.570] | jiǎ: wǒ zěn me méi kàn guò? shuǐ xǔ zhōng yǒu yī zhāng xiě de zuì jīng cǎi. |
| [12:20.030] | yǐ: nǎ yī zhāng? |
| [12:20.570] | jiǎ: jiào xià hóu dūn dà zhàn xī mén qìng. |
| [12:25.340] | yǐ: xià hóu dūn gēn xī mén qìng dǎ jià? |
| [12:27.150] | jiǎ: wǒ gěi nǐ xué xué, nà yī rì, xī mén qìng zǒu zài lù shàng, yíng miàn pèng shàng le xià hóu dūn. |
| [12:33.870] | yǐ: nà shi pèng shàng guǐ le. |
| [12:36.940] | jiǎ: xià hóu dūn qí zhe mǎ dài zhe qiāng, yī jiàn xī mén qìng nù cóng xīn zhōng qǐ, dà hǎn yī shēng, dāi! xī mén qìng, chòu liú máng. tiáo xì wǒ lǎo pó, wǒ dǎ sǐ nǐ, kàn qiāng! yī qiāng pī miàn dǎ lái. |
| [12:52.560] | yǐ: zhè shuí yě bù néng guài. jiù guài xī mén qìng, nǐ shuō nǐ tiáo xì shuí bù xíng, nǐ tiáo xì xià hóu dūn de lǎo pó? |
| [12:59.410] | jiǎ: tā shuí lǎo pó dōu tiáo xì, zhè rén liú máng. |
| [13:01.030] | yǐ: ēn, tā xià hóu dūn de lǎo pó bǐ nǐ xī mén qìng dà 500 duō suì, nǐ tiáo xì tā yǒu shén me yòng? zhēn shì. |
| [13:08.320] | jiǎ: zhè nǐ bù dǒng, nǐ bù dǒng, nǐ bù dǒng, nǐ bù dǒng, nǐ gēn běn bù dǒng. xī mén qìng yī jiàn, dà shì bù hǎo, hǎn le yī shēng, wā sāi! |
| [13:19.680] | yǐ: nǐ tīng zhè wā sāi shì xī mén qìng hǎn de? hā hā |
| [13:22.500] | jiǎ: bù hǎo, wǒ ér jiù wǒ! |
| [13:24.860] | yǐ: guān jiàn shí kè hái shì ér zi. |
| [13:25.740] | jiǎ: ēn. |
| [13:26.990] | yǐ: yā yā yā yā, xī mén qìng hǎo xiàng méi yǒu ér zi. |
| [13:30.570] | jiǎ: xī mén qìng de ér zi nǐ bù zhī dào shuí ma? |
| [13:32.750] | yǐ: shuǐ xǔ wǒ fān làn le méi kàn jiàn tā yǒu ér zi. |
| [13:35.350] | jiǎ: kàn guò shū, xī mén qìng de ér zi! |
| [13:37.640] | yǐ: xī mén qìng de ér zi shì shuí? |
| [13:38.800] | jiǎ: xī mén zǐ a. |
| [13:44.400] | yǐ: āi yōu, lǐng jiào lǐng jiào, ó, xī mén qìng de ér zi shì xī mén zǐ a! |
| [13:47.840] | jiǎ: āi. |
| [13:48.600] | yǐ: nà tā yǒu ér zi, xià hóu dūn yǒu nǚ ér a. |
| [13:50.950] | jiǎ: tā de nǚ ér shì shuí a? |
| [13:52.090] | yǐ: xià shì lián a |
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