[00:01.200] |
Okay, Ross, I-I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, |
[00:05.444] |
but.. Let me explain,okay? |
[00:07.563] |
We weren't doing anything! |
[00:10.685] |
Rach, he just saw us. |
[00:11.728] |
Shhh. |
[00:16.335] |
But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? |
[00:19.040] |
One kiss. |
[00:19.770] |
No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados. |
[00:21.815] |
(to Rachel): Dude, chill! |
[00:25.781] |
(to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it,okay? |
[00:29.639] |
And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie. |
[00:32.926] |
Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill. |
[00:38.962] |
Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but.. |
[00:45.512] |
We feel so terrible about this, Ross. |
[00:47.718] |
Yeah, but it did happen, so... |
[00:53.627] |
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.) |
[00:57.966] |
Ross? |
[01:07.713] |
Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door? |
[01:52.393] |
Ross, say something. Anything. |
[01:57.481] |
So you two are..? |
[02:00.373] |
Yeah. |
[02:03.023] |
And have you .. ed? |
[02:05.227] |
No, no, no!-No, no, no! |
[02:08.774] |
But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..? |
[02:10.803] |
Probably. |
[02:11.374] |
(Rachel looks at him.) |
[02:11.824] |
No, no! |
[02:15.782] |
Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. |
[02:18.200] |
You have every right to go nuts. |
[02:20.338] |
I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts? |
[02:22.879] |
No, but you know what I mean. |
[02:24.586] |
Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. |
[02:36.325] |
(Squeaky.) I'm fine! |
[02:39.669] |
Really? |
[02:40.435] |
Absolutely. |
[02:42.026] |
(Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! |
[02:44.643] |
Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, |
[02:51.210] |
(deep voice) I'm fine. |
[02:55.791] |
I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. |
[03:01.533] |
I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) |
[03:06.920] |
But now that I've had time to absorb it,lovin' this. |
[03:16.262] |
Ross.. |
[03:16.754] |
It's all working out! Me and Charlie, and you two. |
[03:23.008] |
You know what we should do? |
[03:24.321] |
Calm ourselves? |
[03:27.038] |
No. We should all have dinner. |
[03:30.662] |
Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!! |
[03:34.534] |
Look, don't you think that will be a little weird? |
[03:36.673] |
Weird? What? What's weird? |
[03:39.147] |
The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, |
[03:42.585] |
because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.) |
[03:52.461] |
I do like fajitas. |
[03:56.715] |
God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. |
[03:59.729] |
There's inter-country adoption,dependency adoption.. |
[04:03.599] |
There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives. |
[04:07.454] |
There's a hair in my coffee. |
[04:11.261] |
Hey guys!-Hey. |
[04:12.765] |
Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets. |
[04:16.034] |
You know, it's funny. |
[04:16.557] |
Every time you say "triplets," I immediately think of three hot blonde 19-year olds. |
[04:20.799] |
(Monica glares at him.) |
[04:22.161] |
That's sweet. Drink your hair. |
[04:26.489] |
Hey, what's all this stuff? |
[04:28.115] |
Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies. |
[04:30.605] |
Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one! |
[04:36.152] |
That's not really how it works. |
[04:37.721] |
Oh, how does it work? |
[04:38.656] |
I don't know! |
[04:42.201] |
Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. |
[04:46.033] |
They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you. |
[04:48.247] |
Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great? |
[04:51.700] |
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the |
[04:52.195] |
hair in his coffee.) |
[04:56.226] |
(Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.) |
[04:56.831] |
Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. |
[04:59.313] |
When we're in a public place, there are certain rules. |
[05:01.864] |
(The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.) |
[05:03.266] |
That's not what we talked about!! |
[05:06.705] |
Hey!-Hey. |
[05:09.610] |
Good to see you. |
[05:10.086] |
Good to see you, too. |
[05:11.734] |
Hi Frank. |
[05:12.156] |
Hi, how you doin'? |
[05:14.348] |
Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten so big! |
[05:17.510] |
Which one is which again? |
[05:19.597] |
Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. |
[05:24.632] |
And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him. |
[05:34.078] |
Monica (reads a form in her lap): "Willing to adopt triplets?" No! |
[05:40.097] |
Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, |
[05:44.961] |
this is not what we'd be doing on our first date. |
[05:48.021] |
Well, what would we be doing? |
[05:50.299] |
I'd take you out for a romantic night. |
[05:53.579] |
Some champagne, fancy dinner,feel you up on the carriage ride home... |
[05:58.762] |
Feel me up? |
[06:00.175] |
In a carriage! |
[06:04.461] |
Hey, Charlie!-Hey. |
[06:06.980] |
Hi, hi. So.. Dreading this? |
[06:10.266] |
Oh, you bet. |
[06:12.564] |
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.) |
[06:12.920] |
So, did you bring a little something for Ross? |
[06:15.300] |
Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment. |
[06:19.804] |
Oh. Oh, thanks. |
[06:21.841] |
And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want. |
[06:25.375] |
Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out.. |
[06:29.472] |
(They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.) |
[06:32.105] |
I thought I heard voices! |
[06:35.417] |
Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) |
[06:37.515] |
Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) |
[06:47.012] |
I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) |
[06:52.538] |
Come, please come in. Come in. |
[06:54.903] |
Okay, well, we brought you some wine. |
[06:57.248] |
Oh! That is so thoughtful. |
[07:01.102] |
(To Joey.) She's a keeper. |
[07:04.387] |
And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.) |
[07:06.578] |
Uh, actually, that's.. |
[07:07.404] |
Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!! |
[07:16.235] |
Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little... |
[07:18.446] |
What? Fine? Because I am! |
[07:20.693] |
Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? |
[07:24.099] |
You see? Who else is fine? |
[07:27.480] |
Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink. |
[07:31.417] |
You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas. |
[07:35.412] |
(Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.) |
[07:41.924] |
Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels. |
[07:48.656] |
Yeah, I really cherish these moments, |
[07:50.922] |
'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again. |
[07:57.508] |
Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute. |
[08:01.061] |
Yeah. |
[08:01.866] |
Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing.. |
[08:05.590] |
I haven't slept in four years! |
[08:11.298] |
That's a, that's a long time. |
[08:13.138] |
You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. |
[08:17.594] |
You know,two I can handle. Two's great. |
[08:20.365] |
You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. |
[08:25.505] |
I've got no more hands to protect my area! |
[08:29.468] |
There's three of them, Phoebe, three! |
[08:31.701] |
Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area. |
[08:38.097] |
Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No. |
[08:47.661] |
What? |
[08:48.320] |
No, I can't. |
[08:52.794] |
Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? |
[08:55.615] |
Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them! |
[08:58.857] |
Oh, no! I would never do that. No. |
[09:02.009] |
I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one. |
[09:07.580] |
What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one? |
[09:18.944] |
Thank you so much for seeing us. |
[09:20.241] |
Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys. |
[09:22.375] |
Oh, please, we're happy to help. |
[09:24.652] |
We went through the same thing when we were adopting. |
[09:26.843] |
So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh? |
[09:30.281] |
(Bill and Colleen look shocked.) |
[09:37.216] |
I mean, you have a lovely home. |
[09:40.721] |
Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us. |
[09:42.538] |
Well, actually, I think this might help. |
[09:45.941] |
(She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.) |
[09:46.896] |
It's pretty much all the information you need. |
[09:48.648] |
Oh my god! |
[09:49.866] |
Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, |
[09:52.501] |
and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back. |
[09:55.935] |
Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm. |
[10:03.819] |
I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. |
[10:07.211] |
Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us. |
[10:10.129] |
That's great. |
[10:11.198] |
(To Monica.) Can I see the book? |
[10:12.230] |
(Monica looks at him.) |
[10:13.981] |
You want me to wash my hands first, don't you? |
[10:17.273] |
It's.. It's just so pretty and white. |
[10:20.767] |
The bathroom is down the hall, to your left. |
[10:24.728] |
I would have told him to do it too. |
[10:26.399] |
Can I adopt you? |
[10:30.992] |
Hey, you must be Owen. |
[10:32.060] |
Yeah. |
[10:33.144] |
I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too. |
[10:35.964] |
You were? |
[10:36.535] |
Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother. |
[10:40.505] |
Huh? |
[10:41.279] |
You know how to use a compass? |
[10:43.821] |
I have a badge in it. |
[10:44.854] |
You do? That's fantastic! |
[10:46.752] |
You wanna see it? |
[10:47.491] |
I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. |
[10:49.737] |
They're telling us all about how they adopted you. |
[10:52.556] |
What?!? |
[11:00.170] |
What? |
[11:03.037] |
I'm adopted?! |
[11:04.431] |
(Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.) |
[11:06.652] |
I got nothing. |
[11:14.113] |
The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood. |
[11:23.085] |
Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. |
[11:26.980] |
Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'. |
[11:34.127] |
Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready? |
[11:39.411] |
I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. |
[11:46.173] |
There's no weirdness, no tension. |
[11:49.071] |
No awareness. |
[11:52.241] |
We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. |
[11:56.554] |
Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay,where do you think we - we can go? |
[12:03.206] |
My fajitas!! |
[12:05.949] |
(He runs off to the kitchen.) |
[12:07.938] |
Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. |
[12:10.997] |
Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. |
[12:15.256] |
You know, he normally doesn't drink like this. |
[12:17.334] |
Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic. |
[12:24.047] |
Oh, I'm sorry, have I made this evening uncomfortable? |
[12:29.851] |
(Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.) |
[12:30.333] |
Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!! |
[12:33.921] |
Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on! |
[12:40.252] |
That is gonna hurt tomorrow! |
[12:46.114] |
Okay, well, this is crazy. |
[12:47.635] |
Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids,can we? |
[12:50.993] |
No, of course we're not. |
[12:52.905] |
Insane. |
[12:53.219] |
I know. |
[12:54.423] |
Alice would never go for it, right? |
[12:56.000] |
Oh, I don't know, she's pretty tired, too, I think we've got her onboard. |
[13:01.354] |
Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically. |
[13:05.668] |
Which one would you be willing to give up? |
[13:08.337] |
Huh. |
[13:09.960] |
Frank Jr.Jr.? |
[13:11.469] |
Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. |
[13:14.304] |
I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke. |
[13:21.602] |
Uh-huh. |
[13:22.014] |
What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) |
[13:30.486] |
Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny. |
[13:34.333] |
Well, alright, that's fine. What about Leslie? |
[13:36.631] |
Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. |
[13:39.344] |
No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet. |
[13:44.841] |
Alright, so that leaves Chandler. |
[13:46.105] |
Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius. |
[13:50.205] |
I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor.. |
[13:58.249] |
Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids. |
[14:03.243] |
Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. |
[14:13.238] |
I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies. |
[14:19.347] |
I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. |
[14:24.140] |
I can -I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there. |
[14:27.551] |
How about tomorrow? |
[14:28.429] |
Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. |
[14:34.731] |
You and Alice just take the whole day together. |
[14:37.483] |
You'd do that for us? |
[14:39.383] |
Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for. |
[14:47.474] |
Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. |
[14:53.090] |
(Strokes Leslie's hair,and she moves a little.) |
[14:54.315] |
Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up! |
[15:00.704] |
Where are Bill and Colleen? |
[15:01.767] |
They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. |
[15:03.834] |
Can you believe how nice they are? |
[15:05.148] |
We have to leave!! |
[15:08.394] |
Why? What did you do in the bathroom? |
[15:11.587] |
I didn't get to the bathroom. |
[15:12.684] |
I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. |
[15:15.894] |
And there's a slight chance I may have told him. |
[15:19.711] |
Oh my god, where's my purse? |
[15:20.895] |
No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. |
[15:22.458] |
Get that binder, and let's go! |
[15:24.316] |
Hey. |
[15:25.788] |
Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. |
[15:29.909] |
Those are for Owen. |
[15:31.749] |
I'll go get him in a second. |
[15:32.902] |
By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet. |
[15:37.533] |
But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows? |
[15:41.447] |
(Owen comes running in.) |
[15:42.012] |
I'm adopted?! |
[15:43.373] |
See? Intuitive! |
[15:45.807] |
What? Where did you hear that? |
[15:47.922] |
HE told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell. |
[15:55.117] |
Which technically now you should give back! |
[16:00.586] |
You told him he's adopted? |
[16:02.479] |
I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. |
[16:05.561] |
Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. |
[16:09.040] |
"Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real." |
[16:12.561] |
He isn't?! |
[16:15.677] |
(to Monica): We have to get out of here, baby! |
[16:21.162] |
Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey. |
[16:27.777] |
Ooy. |
[16:29.770] |
And to love~ Ahhh, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love? |
[16:47.632] |
Oh my god, are we supposed to answer? |
[16:51.285] |
O is for "oh, wow!" |
[17:00.671] |
The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. |
[17:14.037] |
E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. |
[17:32.091] |
And now one day you might get married and have children of your own. |
[17:40.454] |
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.) |
[17:44.796] |
Dude, are you okay? |
[17:46.250] |
Totally. |
[17:49.893] |
Ross, you don't seem okay. |
[17:51.495] |
(on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. |
[17:58.805] |
I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan. |
[18:02.534] |
Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off. |
[18:05.890] |
No! |
[18:06.987] |
I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely. |
[18:15.331] |
Wasn't it? |
[18:16.594] |
And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel. |
[18:22.861] |
You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay? |
[18:27.250] |
Okay. |
[18:27.960] |
Alright. |
[18:32.544] |
God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so.. |
[18:34.187] |
Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me. |
[18:38.529] |
Bye. |
[18:41.455] |
Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed! |
[18:51.615] |
You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too. |
[18:54.930] |
Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. |
[19:02.399] |
I mean, you probably just want to be alone. |
[19:04.010] |
No, no, it's just that it's getting late... |
[19:05.619] |
Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good. |
[19:17.666] |
I don't even know what that's for. |
[19:25.704] |
You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay. |
[19:30.276] |
Yeah, that's probably a good idea. |
[19:31.655] |
Yeah. I'll see you in the morning. |
[19:33.046] |
Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this. |
[19:41.294] |
It doesn't look good, does it? |
[19:47.422] |
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.) |
[20:04.068] |
Morning. Here you go. |
[20:06.672] |
Thanks. Did you stay here all night? |
[20:11.032] |
Yeah. |
[20:13.809] |
So you took off my pants and shoes? |
[20:17.762] |
No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. |
[20:25.581] |
Look,Ross, about, about Rachel and I. |
[20:30.519] |
Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? |
[20:32.288] |
Because nothing is gonna happen. |
[20:34.665] |
What do you mean? |
[20:37.580] |
Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything |
[20:40.757] |
unless you were okay with it. |
[20:42.379] |
And clearly.. |
[20:43.845] |
Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine! |
[20:47.246] |
It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. |
[20:52.909] |
You're.. You're Ross and Rachel. |
[20:59.761] |
Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. |
[21:12.122] |
Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long? |
[21:17.611] |
That's what I hear, yeah. |
[21:21.627] |
This is crazy. I mean, six years? |
[21:24.554] |
And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? |
[21:29.844] |
Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel? |
[21:39.100] |
Come on, I mean, you know me, you know... |
[21:44.520] |
Joey. |
[21:51.958] |
I'm crazy about her. |
[21:59.457] |
And she feels the same way? |
[22:04.161] |
I think so. |
[22:08.645] |
Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on. |
[22:13.290] |
Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it. |
[22:15.672] |
No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? |
[22:28.777] |
Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? |
[22:31.349] |
I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she? |
[22:32.914] |
No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. |
[22:42.660] |
Are you uhh... sure about this? |
[22:46.828] |
Yeah, I'm sure. |
[22:51.731] |
And... we're okay? |
[22:58.516] |
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. |
[23:03.124] |
He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.) |
[23:07.049] |
Hey, Phoebs-Hey. |
[23:08.606] |
Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us. |
[23:12.412] |
Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him. |
[23:14.982] |
What? |
[23:16.405] |
Still, he had to find out sometime. |
[23:18.746] |
Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them? |
[23:21.850] |
(The triplets stare at him.) |
[23:27.561] |
I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. (Runs off.) |