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Ted : Going over to this other girl' s house... |
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Victoria : And you' re wondering if I' d be upset. Hi, Ted. Remember me? Your girlfriend. |
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Ted : Okay, relax. Robin' s just a friend. |
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Victoria : Right. You' re gonna go make some juice. |
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Ted : Yes, yes. Juice is perfectly harmless. In fact, it' s healthy. |
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Victoria : Oh, yeah? Then why are you wondering what she looks like naked? |
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Ted : I am not... Okay, even if I am wondering that, it' s only ' cause you put it in my head. |
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Victoria : But I am just a manifestation of your subconscious, so actually, you put it in your own head. |
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Ted : Damn it! Nothing' s gonna happen. |
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Victoria : Right. |
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Ted : Okay, okay. You want a second opinion? Fine. |
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Marshall : Hey. Did she call? |
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Ted : No. I need a ruling. I' m... Yeah, this is stupid. It' s not even a big deal, but I' m on my way over to Robin' s right now. She got a new juicer. Whatever, we' re gonna test it out. |
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Marshall : Let me call you back. Honey, there' s a situation developing. Do you remember the huge secret that you told me that you weren' t supposed to, but you did? The thing about Robin? |
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Barney : You mean, how Robin' s in love with Ted? |
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Both : What? |
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Barney : Yeah. She told me already. Go on. |
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Marshall : Wait. So I' m the only one that she didn' t tell? She told you and not me? |
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Barney : Well. I guess I' m just better friends with her than you are. |
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Marshall : Well, I' m better friends with Ted than you are. |
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Barney : That is a lie. |
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Marshall : It is not a lie. |
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Barney : Okay, that' s it |
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Ted : Come on. Pick up. Damn it, Victoria. Where are you? Pick up! Pick up! |
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Victoria : Cupcake? |
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Ted : No, thanks. Where are you? Why haven' t you called? |
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Victoria : I' m out hooking up. With three other guys. Or maybe I' m a devoted girlfriend and I' m calling you right now. |
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Ted : Yeah, why do I doubt that? Hello? |
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Marshall : Ted. I just saw the news, and a truck carrying sulfuric acid overturned right in front of Robin' s house. And it' s melting through the sidewalk, you can see straight down into Hell. It' s bad. You should go home, dude. |
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Ted : Marshall, it' s fine. Nothing' s gonna happen. |
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Marshall : Ted, what does your Mom always say? |
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Ted : Nothing good ever... |
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Marshall : Nothing good ever happens after 2: 00 a. m. Go home! It' s too late for juice. |
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Ted : Dude, Robin and I are just friends. She doesn' t even like me that way. |
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Lily : Yes, she does! She likes you. She told me. |
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Ted : What? |
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Lily : It' s a big secret. So don' t tell her I told you, but she' s very vulnerable right now. And you have a girlfriend. Go home, Ted. |
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Ted : She likes me? |
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Lily : Yes. So you see why it would be a very bad idea for you to go up there. Go home, Ted |
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Ted : She likes me? |
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Lily : Go home, Ted. |
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Ted : You' re right, I' ll see you at home. |
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Ted: dàn shì wǒ zhèng zài qù lìng yí gè nǚ hái jiā Victoria: nǐ zài dān xīn wǒ shì bú shì huì yīn cǐ fán nǎo. hāi, tài dé, jì de wǒ ma, nǐ de nǚ péng yǒu Ted: ok, fàng sōng, luó bīn zhǐ shì yí gè pǔ tōng péng yǒu Victoria: duì de, nǐ zhǔn bèi qù zhà diǎn guǒ zhī Ted: shì de, shì de! hē guǒ zhī shì wán quán wú hài de. shí jì shang, hái hěn yǒu yì jiàn kāng Victoria: ó, shì ma? nà nǐ wèi shí me zài hào qí tā tuō guāng le shì shén me yàng zi a Ted: wǒ méi yǒu zài, hǎo ba, jiù suàn wǒ zài xiǎng nà gè, nà yě shì yīn wèi nǐ ràng wǒ xiǎng qǐ lái de Victoria: a, bù guò wǒ zhǐ shì nǐ de qián yì shí de yī zhǒng biǎo xiàn ér yǐ, shí jì shang, hái shì nǐ zì jǐ xiǎng dào zhèi xiē de Ted: tā mā mā de! shén me dōu bú huì fā shēng de Victoria: hǎo de Ted: ok, ok, nǐ xiǎng yào zài tīng tīng bié de yì jiàn ma? hǎo de Marshall: hāi, tā dǎ diàn huà lái le ma Ted: méi yǒu, wǒ xū yào nǐ zuò gè cái jué, wǒ, shì de, zhè shì hěn chǔn, yě bú shì shén me dà shì, dàn shì wǒ xiàn zài zài qù luó bīn jiā de lù shàng, tā mǎi le gè xīn de zhà zhī jī, guǎn tā shén me, wǒ men zhǔn bèi cè shì yī xià nà tái jī qì Marshall: wǒ děng huì huí diàn huà gěi nǐ, qīn ài de, yǒu gè jí shǒu de wèn tí, nǐ hái jì de nǐ yǐ qián gào sù wǒ de nà gè tiān dà mì mì ma, jiù shì nà gè nǐ shuí dōu bù néng gào sù, dàn shì nǐ gào sù le wǒ de nà gè, nà gè... guān yú luó bīn Barney: ó, nǐ men shì shuō luó bīn shì duō me de ài zhe tài dé Both: shén me Barney: duì de, tā yǐ jīng gào sù wǒ le, jì xù Marshall: děng xià, nà me wǒ shì wéi yī yí gè tā méi guǎng ér gào zhī de rén, tā gào sù le nǐ, què bú shì wǒ Barney: ēn, wǒ kàn duì tā lái shuō, wǒ shì bǐ nǐ gèng qīn jìn de péng yǒu Marshall: ēn, duì tài dé lái shuō, wǒ shì bǐ nǐ gèng qīn jìn de péng yǒu Barney: chě dàn Marshall: zhè bú shì chě dàn, ok, shì chě dàn, nǐ hé wǒ dōu shì Ted: kuài a, jiē diàn huà, nǎi nǎi gè xióng, Victoria, nǐ zài nǎ lǐ, jiē diàn huà, jiē diàn huà Victoria: dàn tà Ted: bù, xiè xiè le, nǐ zài nǎ lǐ? wèi shí me nǐ bù dǎ diàn huà guò lái Victoria: ó, wǒ chū mén yǒu shì, , hé sān ge nán de, huò zhě yě xǔ shì wǒ shì yí gè ài qíng zhì shàng de nǚ péng yǒu, wǒ xiàn zài zhèng zài dǎ diàn huà gěi nǐ Ted: shì de, wèi shí me wǒ huì huái yí, hā luō Marshall: tài dé, wǒ gāng kàn le xīn wén, yǒu yī liàng mǎn zài liú suān de chāo zài kǎ chē, zhèng tíng zài luó bīn jiā mén kǒu, chē lǐ miàn dí liú suān zhèng zài fǔ shí chē tǐ, ér qiě màn dào le xíng rén dào shàng, nǐ huì kàn dào dì yù zhī mén zài nà li dǎ kāi le, tài zāo gāo le, nǐ yīng gāi huí jiā qù, shuài gē Ted: mǎ xiū, méi shì de, méi shì de Marshall: tài dé, nǐ mā yī zhí gào jiè nǐ shén me de, méi yǒu hǎo shì huì zài líng chén liǎng diǎn hòu fā shēng de, huí jiā qù! xiàn zài qù hē guǒ zhī yě tài chí le Ted: shuài gē, wǒ hé luó bīn zhǐ bù guò shì péng yǒu ér yǐ, tā lián xǐ huān dōu méi xǐ huān guò wǒ Lily: bù, tā xǐ huān nǐ, tā xǐ huān nǐ, tā gào sù wǒ de Ted: shén me Lily: nà shi gè dà mì mì, suǒ yǐ bú yào gào sù tā shì wǒ gào sù nǐ de, ér qiě tā xiàn zài chūn qíng bó fā, bìng qiě nǐ shì gè yǒu nǚ péng yǒu de rén, huí jiā qù, tài dé Ted: tā, tā xǐ huān wǒ Lily: shì de, suǒ yǐ nǐ xiàn zài míng bái, qù tā nà lǐ shì gè duō me zāo gāo de zhǔ yì, huí jiā qù, tài dé Ted: tā xǐ huān wǒ Lily: huí jiā qù, tài dé Ted: ēn, nǐ shuō de duì, wǒ, ēn, wǒ men jiā lǐ jiàn |