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I don't know if it was real or in a dream |
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Lately waking up I'm not sure where I've been |
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There was a table set for six and five were there |
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I stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair |
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And there was steam on the windows from the kitchen |
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Laughter like a language I once spoke with ease |
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But I'm made mute by the virtue of decision |
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I choose most of your life goes on without me |
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Oh the fear I've known |
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That I might reap the praise of strangers and end up on my own |
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All I've sown was a song |
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But maybe I was wrong |
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I said to you the one gift which I'd adore |
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Unwrap a package of the next 10 years unfolding |
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But you told me if I had my way I'd be bored |
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Right then I knew I loved you best born of your scolding |
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When we last talked we were lying on our backs |
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Looking up at the sky through the ceiling |
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I used to lie like that alone out on the driveway |
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Trying to read the greek upon the stars the alphabet of healing |
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Oh I knew back then |
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It was a calling that said if joy then pain |
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The sound of the voice these years later is still the same |
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I am alone in a hotel room tonight |
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I squeeze the sky out but there's not a star appears |
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Begin my studies with this paper and this pencil |
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And I'm working through the grammar of my fears |
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Mercy what I won't give |
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To have the things which mean the most not to mean the things I miss |
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Unforgiving the choice still is |
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The language or the kiss |
