| 大会 | |
| 今日开个大会 众仙可有到齐 | |
| 如有到齐 何不拨开云雾相见 | |
| 李县长——到！ | |
| 蓝股长——系度系度！ | |
| 韩局长——伊放尿去了！ | |
| 叶秘书呢——我在这！ | |
| 今日开个大会 众仙可有到齐 | |
| 如有到齐 何不拨开云雾相见 | |
| 张支书——在这在这！ | |
| 何院长——来在这咯！ | |
| 韩部长——我到了！ | |
| 曹所长呢？——I'm here | |
| ——“嘿嘿，大家静一下啊，今日的会议相信大家也有所了解，县城这个垃圾四散丢这个问题呢，一直是个头痛的问题。几个月前，县拨款几千元的巨款，买了十个‘和谐牌’的垃圾桶，无几日，剩无几个！大家对这些问题，有什么看法和建议——嘿嘿嘿，大家都别看手机了，都讲一下都讲一下！” | |
| ——“我觉得啊，应该多做一些宣传方面的工作，比如说就像‘八荣八耻’那样：以‘爱护垃圾桶为荣，以偷垃圾桶为耻’，然后呢我们就印成海报、横批，到处去贴，大呢要大到县城所有宣传栏，小的话呢，就要小到饭店、厕所等等，嗯，差不多了。” | |
| ——“我觉得要去再买一批垃圾桶，质量和设计都得漂亮些的，怎么说呢，这样比较有艺术感，大家就会走近注意去看它，欣赏的同时，顺便也会很认真地将垃圾给投进去。” | |
| —— “这个建议好啊，很有建设性，也很有创新。我支持啊，我相信广大老百姓也会支持的！” | |
| ——“不过呢，我县不像美国那么发达，能一而……三，三而再地拨款买垃圾桶供人民扔垃圾，这也是不现实的，不现实的事情，我们就无谓讲太多啦，不过这个建议还是好的，大家鼓掌鼓励一下！”（掌声） | |
| ——“我认为我们呢应该再全县的范围内，找几个发明爱好者，让他们进行发明。我们建议他们以垃圾为原料，发明、制造一批垃圾桶，这样我们就能节约成本，最重要的是，用垃圾造的垃圾桶，我相信那些贼也不会去偷，那些贼也不会笨过贼吧，他如果去偷用垃圾造的垃圾桶，就等于偷垃圾，要被人笑死，贼也要讲实效、讲面子的嘛！” | |
| ——“没错没错！” | |
| ——“那这件事情呢就由叶秘书来跟进。今日的会议开得很成功哈！大家还有没有什么问题？如果没有什么问题，那今日的会就……在此结束？” | |
| ——“好！” | |
| “去哪吃啊？——打麻将不？” “Pu母仔，这群人，整天都这样讨厌死了” “等下要去洗头” “你怕老婆” “还没签名呢，签名在哪签呢？” “门口” “签个名先签个名先，走走走，签后再一起去吃！”…… |
| da hui | |
| jin ri kai ge da hui zhong xian ke you dao qi | |
| ru you dao qi he bu bo kai yun wu xiang jian | |
| li xian zhang dao! | |
| lan gu zhang xi du xi du! | |
| han ju zhang yi fang niao qu le! | |
| ye mi shu ne wo zai zhe! | |
| jin ri kai ge da hui zhong xian ke you dao qi | |
| ru you dao qi he bu bo kai yun wu xiang jian | |
| zhang zhi shu zai zhe zai zhe! | |
| he yuan chang lai zai zhe ge! | |
| han bu zhang wo dao le! | |
| cao suo zhang ne? I' m here | |
| " hei hei, da jia jing yi xia a, jin ri de hui yi xiang xin da jia ye you suo liao jie, xian cheng zhe ge la ji si san diu zhe ge wen ti ne, yi zhi shi ge tou tong de wen ti. ji ge yue qian, xian bo kuan ji qian yuan de ju kuan, mai le shi ge' he xie pai' de la ji tong, wu ji ri, sheng wu ji ge! da jia dui zhei xie wen ti, you shen me kan fa he jian yi hei hei hei, da jia dou bie kan shou ji le, dou jiang yi xia du jiang yi xia!" | |
| " wo jue de a, ying gai duo zuo yi xie xuan chuan fang mian di gong zuo, bi ru shuo jiu xiang' ba rong ba chi' na yang: yi' ai hu la ji tong wei rong, yi tou la ji tong wei chi', ran hou ne wo men jiu yin cheng hai bao heng pi, dao chu qu tie, da ne yao da dao xian cheng suo you xuan chuan lan, xiao de hua ne, jiu yao xiao dao fan dian ce suo deng deng, , cha bu duo le." | |
| " wo jue de yao qu zai mai yi pi la ji tong, zhi liang he she ji dou de piao liang xie de, zen me shuo ne, zhe yang bi jiao you yi shu gan, da jia jiu hui zou jin zhu yi qu kan ta, xin shang de tong shi, shun bian ye hui hen ren zhen di jiang la ji gei tou jin qu." | |
| " zhe ge jian yi hao a, hen you jian she xing, ye hen you chuang xin. wo zhi chi a, wo xiang xin guang da lao bai xing ye hui zhi chi de!" | |
| " bu guo ne, wo xian bu xiang mei guo na me fa da, neng yi er san, san er zai di bo kuan mai la ji tong gong ren min reng la ji, zhe ye shi bu xian shi de, bu xian shi de shi qing, wo men jiu wu wei jiang tai duo la, bu guo zhe ge jian yi hai shi hao de, da jia gu zhang gu li yi xia!" zhang sheng | |
| " wo ren wei wo men ne ying gai zai quan xian de fan wei nei, zhao ji ge fa ming ai hao zhe, rang ta men jin xing fa ming. wo men jian yi ta men yi la ji wei yuan liao, fa ming zhi zao yi pi la ji tong, zhe yang wo men jiu neng jie yue cheng ben, zui zhong yao de shi, yong la ji zao de la ji tong, wo xiang xin nei xie zei ye bu hui qu tou, nei xie zei ye bu hui ben guo zei ba, ta ru guo qu tou yong la ji zao de la ji tong, jiu deng yu tou la ji, yao bei ren xiao si, zei ye yao jiang shi xiao jiang mian zi de ma!" | |
| " mei cuo mei cuo!" | |
| " na zhe jian shi qing ne jiu you ye mi shu lai gen jin. jin ri de hui yi kai de hen cheng gong ha! da jia hai you mei you shen me wen ti? ru guo mei you shen me wen ti, na jin ri de hui jiu zai ci jie shu?" | |
| " hao!" | |
| " qu na chi a? da ma jiang bu?" " Pu mu zi, zhe qun ren, zheng tian du zhe yang tao yan si le" " deng xia yao qu xi tou" " ni pa lao po" " hai mei qian ming ne, qian ming zai na qian ne?" " men kou" " qian ge ming xian qian ge ming xian, zou zou zou, qian hou zai yi qi qu chi!" |
| dà huì | |
| jīn rì kāi gè dà huì zhòng xiān kě yǒu dào qí | |
| rú yǒu dào qí hé bù bō kāi yún wù xiāng jiàn | |
| lǐ xiàn zhǎng dào! | |
| lán gǔ zhǎng xì dù xì dù! | |
| hán jú zhǎng yī fàng niào qù le! | |
| yè mì shū ne wǒ zài zhè! | |
| jīn rì kāi gè dà huì zhòng xiān kě yǒu dào qí | |
| rú yǒu dào qí hé bù bō kāi yún wù xiāng jiàn | |
| zhāng zhī shū zài zhè zài zhè! | |
| hé yuàn cháng lái zài zhè gē! | |
| hán bù zhǎng wǒ dào le! | |
| cáo suǒ zhǎng ne? I' m here | |
| " hēi hēi, dà jiā jìng yī xià a, jīn rì de huì yì xiāng xìn dà jiā yě yǒu suǒ liǎo jiě, xiàn chéng zhè gè lā jī sì sàn diū zhè gè wèn tí ne, yī zhí shì gè tóu tòng de wèn tí. jǐ gè yuè qián, xiàn bō kuǎn jǐ qiān yuán de jù kuǎn, mǎi le shí gè' hé xié pái' de lā jī tǒng, wú jǐ rì, shèng wú jǐ gè! dà jiā duì zhèi xiē wèn tí, yǒu shén me kàn fǎ hé jiàn yì hēi hēi hēi, dà jiā dōu bié kàn shǒu jī le, dōu jiǎng yī xià dū jiǎng yī xià!" | |
| " wǒ jué de a, yīng gāi duō zuò yī xiē xuān chuán fāng miàn dí gōng zuò, bǐ rú shuō jiù xiàng' bā róng bā chǐ' nà yàng: yǐ' ài hù lā jī tǒng wèi róng, yǐ tōu lā jī tǒng wèi chǐ', rán hòu ne wǒ men jiù yìn chéng hǎi bào héng pī, dào chù qù tiē, dà ne yào dà dào xiàn chéng suǒ yǒu xuān chuán lán, xiǎo de huà ne, jiù yào xiǎo dào fàn diàn cè suǒ děng děng, , chà bù duō le." | |
| " wǒ jué de yào qù zài mǎi yī pī lā jī tǒng, zhì liàng hé shè jì dōu dé piào liàng xiē de, zěn me shuō ne, zhè yàng bǐ jiào yǒu yì shù gǎn, dà jiā jiù huì zǒu jìn zhù yì qù kàn tā, xīn shǎng de tóng shí, shùn biàn yě huì hěn rèn zhēn dì jiāng lā jī gěi tóu jìn qù." | |
| " zhè gè jiàn yì hǎo a, hěn yǒu jiàn shè xìng, yě hěn yǒu chuàng xīn. wǒ zhī chí a, wǒ xiāng xìn guǎng dà lǎo bǎi xìng yě huì zhī chí de!" | |
| " bù guò ne, wǒ xiàn bù xiàng měi guó nà me fā dá, néng yī ér sān, sān ér zài dì bō kuǎn mǎi lā jī tǒng gōng rén mín rēng lā jī, zhè yě shì bù xiàn shí de, bù xiàn shí de shì qíng, wǒ men jiù wú wèi jiǎng tài duō la, bù guò zhè gè jiàn yì hái shì hǎo de, dà jiā gǔ zhǎng gǔ lì yī xià!" zhǎng shēng | |
| " wǒ rèn wéi wǒ men ne yīng gāi zài quán xiàn de fàn wéi nèi, zhǎo jǐ gè fā míng ài hào zhě, ràng tā men jìn xíng fā míng. wǒ men jiàn yì tā men yǐ lā jī wèi yuán liào, fā míng zhì zào yī pī lā jī tǒng, zhè yàng wǒ men jiù néng jié yuē chéng běn, zuì zhòng yào de shì, yòng lā jī zào de lā jī tǒng, wǒ xiāng xìn nèi xiē zéi yě bú huì qù tōu, nèi xiē zéi yě bú huì bèn guò zéi ba, tā rú guǒ qù tōu yòng lā jī zào de lā jī tǒng, jiù děng yú tōu lā jī, yào bèi rén xiào sǐ, zéi yě yào jiǎng shí xiào jiǎng miàn zi de ma!" | |
| " méi cuò méi cuò!" | |
| " nà zhè jiàn shì qíng ne jiù yóu yè mì shū lái gēn jìn. jīn rì de huì yì kāi de hěn chéng gōng hā! dà jiā hái yǒu méi yǒu shén me wèn tí? rú guǒ méi yǒu shén me wèn tí, nà jīn rì de huì jiù zài cǐ jié shù?" | |
| " hǎo!" | |
| " qù nǎ chī a? dǎ má jiàng bù?" " Pu mǔ zǐ, zhè qún rén, zhěng tiān dū zhè yàng tǎo yàn sǐ le" " děng xià yào qù xǐ tóu" " nǐ pà lǎo pó" " hái méi qiān míng ne, qiān míng zài nǎ qiān ne?" " mén kǒu" " qiān gè míng xiān qiān gè míng xiān, zǒu zǒu zǒu, qiān hòu zài yì qǐ qù chī!" |
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