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It's just a modern world we live in, but why do they pick on me |
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Why just the other week my missus had the cheek to talk me into a va-sec-tom-y |
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At first it never clicked that I was gettin' nicked, I thought it was to test virility |
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Than after I went through it, ten days we couldn't do it and then the doctor said to me |
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I couldn't believe it folks - He said please blow into this bag, please sir |
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What? - to test your capability |
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I beg your pardon? - we're cutting down on accidents |
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I said are you fair dinkum - He said please blow into this bag and we'll see |
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Well - I couldn't believe it at first but you know what they say about doctors orders |
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So he gave me the little bag and ushered me into the little room with all the pin-ups |
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Grubby little room it was, too, and I came back with my little bag |
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And the doctor was quite satisfied, and so was I |
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It's just a modern world we live in, there's knew fangled things every day |
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The cop said I was speedin', accordin' to his readin' |
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But I was three kilometers away |
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I was feelin' pretty mad when he took out his pad, I tried to stay as calm as I could be |
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He found a bawldy tread, he saw my eyes were red |
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And then he said this strange thing to me - I said what again? |
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He said please blow into this bag, please sir |
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I said hang on - to test your capability |
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What? - we're cutting down on accidents |
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I said are you fair dinkum - He said please blow into this bag and we'll see |
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Well this time I really was shaken up, the cop could see I was a bit excited |
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He said well you better take a good grip on yourself son |
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So I went around behind a big gum tree and came back with my little bag |
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Well you can imagine what happened |
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It's just a modern world we live in, I'm feelin' very sad and pale |
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The judge said I was sick and threw me in the nick |
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And missus said she wouldn't pay the bail |
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So take it from a fool like me, beware of quacks and boys in blue |
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I'm feelin' pretty bruised so don't you get confused |
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I'd catch a train if I was you-ou |
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All together now - please blow into this bag, please sir |
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Ahh, It sends a shiver down my spine |
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Please blow into this bag, please sir |
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If the women don't get you, it's the wine |