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测字 歌词

歌曲 测字
歌手 刘宝瑞
专辑 刘宝瑞单口相声大全
下载 Image LRC TXT
今儿我说一个测字的事儿。在山东济南府,“大观园”里头有个测字摊儿。可不是现在的事情。什么年头啊?民国十七年——也就是一九二八年。那时候明,大军阀张宗昌时,当山东督办。 "
这位测字先生,谁也不知道姓什么,他有个外号叫“大不同”。那意思是,他这个测字的跟别人大不相同。在桌子前边摆着个牌子,上边儿写着仨字儿:“大不同”。
这天哪,正赶上张宗昌到大观园里遛弯儿,张宗昌个子又大,带着四个马弁,都别着盒子枪,背着大砍刀。张宗昌一看,那儿围着一堆人,就说了：
(学山东口音)“嗯?走,进去瞅瞅!”
他一说进去瞅瞅，马弁就过去了，抡着鞭子轰人。大伙赶紧往两边闪。张宗昌就进去了。一看，是个测字的。张宗昌一想：把人都轰开了，我要是不测个字，显着也不好。
“哎，给我测个字！”
这位先生一瞧，大高个儿，跟着四个马弁，心里就有谱儿啦。怎么？虽说他没见过张宗昌，可听说过张宗昌的外号，叫长腿将军，他腿长；又叫狗肉将军，当初他卖过狗肉！哎，是这么回事儿。就问了：
“您测个字？”
“啊。”
“您写个字吧！”
桌儿上有块白磁砖儿,让他往上写个字。他写什么呀?卖狗肉的出身,认不了俩半字儿,他怎么写呀?可是人家让写个字,写吧,简单的他还能凑合蒙上来。哎,一撇一捺,写了个“人”字。写在什么地方了呢?人家让他写在白磁砖儿上,他没有。牌子上不是写着“大不同”嘛,哎,他在这“大”字儿的旁边儿写了个“人”字儿。嗬!这测字的,恭恭敬敬地站起来了：
“哎呀,原来您是一位大人哪!”
张宗昌一听：
“啊!你怎么知道的?”
怎么知道的?您看,这算卦、测字的,全仗着察颜观色呀。测字先生早瞧出来了,四个马弁在旁边儿,他那相儿是神气十足,说话打官腔：
“啊!你怎么知道的?”
您想,人家能不知道嘛!得,准了。测字的跟着就说：
“啊,测出来的。”
“测出来的?”
“对,您是一位大人,真是居于一人之下,万万人之上。”
“噢,你怎么测出来的?”
“我请您写个字,写在这块白磁砖儿上,您哪,把‘人’字儿在这个‘大’字儿旁边儿了。大字儿旁边儿写个人字儿,哎,您是一位大——人!”
嗬,这家伙有两手儿。“来来来!你来……”
他让一个马弁过来测个字,还直小声嘀咕：
“也写人,写人。”
让马弁也写人。马弁过来了：
“给我测个字。”
“好,好,您写个字吧。”
这个马弁哪,没敢在张宗昌写字儿的牌子那儿写,他写在手心上了,也写了个“人”字儿。测字的一看：
“您……可别不乐意听,您可比不了那位大人,您是一个手下人。”
张宗昌一听：嗬,真灵啊!其实他也糊涂,那是个马弁哪,可不是手下人嘛。他垂手而立,在一旁伺候着张宗昌,那测字的能瞧不出来嘛!
“您是一位手下人,是大人的手下人。”
“你怎么知道的?”
“测出来的。您看哪,我让您写个字,您写在手上了,您走路能手心朝上托着吗?不能,您得把手放下,这不是手下人吗?”
嘿,这么个手下人哪!
“这家伙真灵,真灵!给弄十块钱。”
张宗昌当众给了十块钱,带着马弁回去了。回到督军府,张宗昌一琢磨:嗯,真这么灵吗?哎,我倒要看看。
“我说,你们到监狱里头把判了死刑的犯人弄出一个来,我有事!”
打监牢狱里头提出一个判死刑的人来,弄到这儿,他过上堂啦：
“你是愿意死呀,愿意活呀?”
谁愿意死呀?
“大人,我愿活。”
“愿活呀,听我的。哎!你们带着他,推头、洗澡,换身儿干净衣裳,穿得阔气点儿,四个马弁,怎么保着我,你们怎么保着他,让他也测字去,也是‘人’字儿,看那测字的怎么样?如果你露不出破绽来,不是死刑吗?免了,当场释放;要是露出破绽,甭费话,照样枪毙!”
“哎,是是是,我行!”
这个人他活了,能不高兴嘛。嗬!挺高兴,推头,洗澡,衣裳换得挺阔气的,四个马弁跟着他:“走走走走!到那儿测‘人’字儿,听见了没有?”
您想,马弁对待犯人能象对待张宗昌那样吗?所以直催他。到测字摊儿这儿,马弁往两边儿一让,这犯人就过来了：
“给我测个字。”
“噢,测字?”
测字先生抬头一看,心里就有谱儿了。有什么谱儿啊?这四个马弁哪,眼熟。噢,昨天跟那位大人来过,今儿又跟一位来,甭问，这也是位大人哪。再一瞧，不对呀，这位脸上又绿又黄又瘦，面色苍白。您想，判了死刑的人，那模样能好看得了吗？一点血色都没有。测字先生就起疑心了：
“啊,您写个字吧。”
马弁冲他一使眼色,那意思让他写“人”字。他哪,没敢上前去写,就这么一说：
“啊,我测个‘人’字儿。”
他这么一说“人”哪,四个马弁还往他跟前攲合攲合,小声嘀咕：
“哎,精神点儿!”
测字先生一看哪,行了,更清楚了,就说了：
“哎呀,这个……说出来,您可别恼啊,我看您哪,不象一位大人,象个犯罪的罪人!”
这家伙一听就愣了,他这么一愣,先生心里更有底啦。马弁赶紧说:
“哎,别胡说八道,这是我们大人。”
“什么大人哪,他是一个犯罪的罪人,在字儿里已经测出来了。
“你怎么测出来的?”
“怎么测出来的,他这个‘人’字没写,是嘴里说的,嘴乃口也。您想,口里加个人字,念囚犯的‘囚\',嘿嘿,这个甭测了,他是个囚犯!”
四个马弁这么一听啊：“哎,你呀,别装着玩儿了,跟我们回去吧!”得,又给拉回去啦!
回来跟张宗昌这么一说,张宗昌一听：
“嗬!这个测字的太灵了,咱们给他送块匾。”送块匾得写字儿啊,他不会写呀,跟参谋长他们四、五个人研究了三天,这才研究出一个词儿来,写了四个字：“有求必应”。
哎,他拿测字先生当了土地爷啦!
您想,“有求必应”是土地庙里的匾哪!吹吹打打给送去了。嗬,这匾一挂上可了不得啦,这测字先生抖起来了,每天能赚个五、六十块钱哪。天天有人围着测字。怎么?张督办亲自送匾,全城都嚷嚷动了,都来找他测字。他的钱越赚越多。这下儿坏了,怎么呢?当时在济南府有三个流氓恶霸,号称朱氏三兄弟:朱大,朱二,朱三。这哥儿仨,成天是打遍街骂遍巷,出茶馆进饭馆,听戏看电影都不花钱。不管是哪家买卖开张,或是谁家办事,婚、丧、嫁、娶,哎,都得请他们哥儿仨。
这天,老大就跟老二、老三说了：
“哎,兄弟,大观园里那个测字的,一天挣五、六十块钱,咱们济南府的钱都让他挣去啦,不行,走!咱们找他麻烦去!”
“怎么找哇?”
“怎么找哇……咱们找他测字,不对更甭说,灵也说不灵,咱们来个砸摊子抢洋钱!”
“好,这主意不错,走,走!”
哥儿仨到了测字摊儿：
“嘿!给我测个字!”
测字先生一看,嗬!是这三位,认识,好嘛,流氓恶霸!赶紧站起来啦：
“噢,好,您那位先测呀?”
老大说：“我!给我先测!”
“好,您抓个字吧。”
测字摊儿桌上有个小筐箩,里边儿有好些个写好了的纸笔儿。老大一摇头：
“不会抓!”
“那您写一个字吧。
“不会写!”
“您说一个吧。”
老大刚想说,不会说!一琢磨——这不象话呀?说一个字吧,说什么呢?嗯,就说自己的姓吧：
“朱!”
先生一听：猪?还以为猪羊的猪哪,心里就想了：这仨流氓谁也不敢惹,如果测不灵,我这摊子就别摆了,这得想主意奉承他几句,还得让他灵了。一琢磨他们哥儿仨这行为：
“哎呀,您这个字,可好啊!”
“啊?怎么个好法!”
“今天您哪,从这儿往西走,准保有人请您吃饭,这顿饭还特别的好。哈哈,如果要对了,灵了的话,请您给我传名。”
老大这么一听：怎么着,从这儿往西去,有人请我吃饭?
“好吧,我往西去试试,要是没人请我吃饭,别怪我不客气,回来我可吃你!”
老大说完了往旁边一站,老二过来了：
“哎，测个字！”
“啊，您写个字吧。”
“不会写!”
“您说一个吧。”
“朱!”
也是“猪”,这是成心找碴儿啊!
“噢,您也测这‘猪’,您这是第二个‘猪’字；您这字也好,您今天要是往东去,必然有人送您一件衣服穿。”
“怎么着?”
“往东去,必然有人送您一件衣服穿。”
“好了,我往东去试试,有人送我衣服还则罢了;要是没人送我衣服,回来我可扒你衣服!”
老二一扭脸儿：
“老三,你来!”
老三往那儿一站,把帽子扣到后脑勺儿上,大嘴一撇,说了：
“我也测个字!”
“您写一个吧。”
“甭写啦!‘朱’!”
这先生一听,这仨人是一个庙里抬出来的,怎么都是“猪”啊?这可是成心。
“嗯……哈……您这字也好,今天您要往北去……”
“你别说啦,我要往北去,有人请我吃饭,有人送我衣服穿,有人请我看电影，有人请我洗澡……”
“哈哈，都不对。”
“那怎么样啊？”
“您要往北去，哈哈……有人揍你一顿！”
“什么!有人揍我一顿?”
“唉……哈哈……保险这顿揍还不轻。”
老三一听,这个气呀：
“行啦行啦，冲你这么一说，我非往北去不可,有人揍我还则罢了；没人揍我，我来揍你！”这不是*骨头吗?
“走走走!一会儿回来咱们再说！”
仨人走啦。正走着哪,老大跟老二、老三就说了：
“哎,你们说这测字的灵不灵?”老二说:“灵什么呀,灵不了。”
老三说：“甭听那套,大哥你往西,二哥你往东,我往北下午咱们在这儿碰面儿,只要有一个不灵的,咱们就砸摊子，抢洋钱！”
“哎,对!”
哥儿仨分手了。到了下午,哥儿仨一碰面儿,哎!都灵啦。
这回测字怎么灵的呢?这没什么神秘,也不是他会什么“奇门遁甲”,其实啊,测字就是推理。这先生清楚他们仨的行为呀,朱氏三兄弟,打遍衔,骂遍巷,出茶馆进饭馆都不花钱,买卖开张，谁家办事,都得请请他们。根据这个,哎,给他们仨算灵啦。
他让老大呀往西去。先生心里知道:今天西街上有家娶媳妇,老大从门口一过,人家必然请他吃饭。老二往东去,东街有个估衣铺开张,掌柜的一看老二过来了,赶紧拿出一件礼服呢马褂儿：“二爷,这是孝敬您的,您穿上试试。
一试挺合身,哎,他穿上啦。
那么老三呢?先生让他往北,走北街。济南府北街上有督军府哇。那条街,平常老百姓都没人敢走。象你信了先生的话不就完了吗,他不信。老三就这模样,横打鼻梁儿：
“什么!挨顿揍?在济南府,也不打听打听,天是老大,地是老二,我就是那个老三!打我,谁敢打我?”
他也是倒霉催的。你好好的就往前走吧,你可往后退个什么劲儿啊!
“打我,谁敢打我?”
刚退了两步,行啦,正赶上张宗昌的九姨太太出来买东西,穿着新新的缎儿鞋,他整踩上一脚!那还饶得了他呀。四个马弁不由分说,过来乒乓五四就是一顿皮鞭子!打了个鼻青脸肿,脑袋上起了七个大疙瘩,还有一个大窟窿。
等到了下午,这哥儿仨又聚会到一块儿啦,这老大就说:“老二,老三,还真有人请我吃饭,这顿饭吃得还真不错。”
老二说:
“大哥,您看我这马褂儿怎么样?老隆泰礼服呢!”
老三说:
“行了,你们看我这包也不小哇!”
老二说:
“那你怨谁呀?人家测字先生说啦,你往北去要挨顿揍嘛,你不注意。”
“我注意什么呀?我这顿揍已经挨上啦!”
“人家这先生灵!”
“灵啊,不信那套,走!你们俩跟我一块儿找他去!”
老大说：
“这没法去,人家测字不灵,没应验,咱们能找去;现在灵啦,到那儿,你跟人家说什么呀?”
“我当然有的说啦。比方说:咱们哥儿仨,说三个字,三样儿他给测出三样儿来,灵!可你们琢磨琢磨：咱们哥儿仨全是一个字儿,他给测出三样儿来：您有人请吃饭,我二哥有人送衣服,到我这儿挨揍?这不对,咱们得找他去!”
老大一听：“对呀,有道理,咱们得找他去!”
老二也说：
“对,走。”
哥儿仨就去了。到了那儿,测字先生正要收摊儿。这哥儿仨一看：
“哎!别收,我们找你来啦。”
测字先生一看是早晨那三位。赶紧问老大：
“怎么样,给您测的那个字,灵了吗?”
老大得意洋洋地说：“灵啦!今儿我往东去,还真有人请我吃饭,哎,吃得还不错。”
测字先生一听乐啦,又问老二：
“您怎么样啊?”
老二说：
“哈哈,你瞧这马褂儿,是人家送我的。”
“这位,您怎么样啊?”
老三说： "
“你还瞧不出来吗？费这份儿话！你看，七个疙瘩，这儿还有一个窟窿！”
“哈哈……真挨了揍啦?”
“挨啦,怎么样吧?”
“哈哈,既然挨了,我算灵了,那您还找我干吗呀?”
“找你干吗呀,当然要找你啦。比方说吧,我们哥儿仨,说了三个字儿,三样儿。你可以测成仨结果。可是我们都测的是‘朱\'字儿,你为什么测我大哥有人请吃饭,我二哥有人送衣服,偏偏就是我要挨揍哪?!”
这测字先生笑了：
“哈哈,这当然有道理啦,没道理能行吗?你们哥儿仨全说的猪（朱）字,这猪（朱）字,就好比是一口猪……”
这哥儿仨一听:噢,我们全是猪啊?
“头一个猪哪,这叫‘肥猪拱门\',这猪拱门去啦。您想啊,这猪一拱门,主人就琢磨了:这猪好好的,拱门干吗呀?噢,多半是饿啦,得了,弄点儿豆腐渣喂喂它吧。哎,所以有人请你大哥吃饭。”
老大心说：噢,我吃的是猪食啊!
“怎么我二哥有人送他衣服穿哪?”
“第二个,你二哥也是测的这个猪,这是肥猪二次拱门。主人一瞧:哟!刚添完猪食啊,怎么又拱门来啦?噢,天凉啦,准是这猪冷啦,给弄点儿麦草铺上吧。必然有人给你二哥送件衣服穿。”
老二一瞧这马褂儿:哎,这就是那点儿麦草!
老三说：“那不对呀,怎么就我挨揍哪?”
测字先生说了：
“对呀,这猪吃饱了,也穿暖和啦,又来拱门,不揍你还等什么呀!”
jin er wo shuo yi ge ce zi de shi er. zai shan dong ji nan fu," da guan yuan" li tou you ge ce zi tan r. ke bu shi xian zai de shi qing. shen me nian tou a? min guo shi qi nian ye jiu shi yi jiu er ba nian. na shi hou ming, da jun fa zhang zong chang shi, dang shan dong du ban. "
zhe wei ce zi xian sheng, shui ye bu zhi dao xing shen me, ta you ge wai hao jiao" da bu tong". na yi si shi, ta zhe ge ce zi de gen bie ren da bu xiang tong. zai zhuo zi qian bian bai zhe ge pai zi, shang bian r xie zhe sa zi er:" da bu tong".
zhe tian na, zheng gan shang zhang zong chang dao da guan yuan li liu wan er, zhang zong chang ge zi you da, dai zhe si ge ma bian, dou bie zhe he zi qiang, bei zhe da kan dao. zhang zong chang yi kan, na er wei zhe yi dui ren, jiu shuo le:
xue shan dong kou yin" ? zou, jin qu chou chou!"
ta yi shuo jin qu chou chou, ma bian jiu guo qu le, lun zhe bian zi hong ren. da huo gan jin wang liang bian shan. zhang zong chang jiu jin qu le. yi kan, shi ge ce zi de. zhang zong chang yi xiang: ba ren dou hong kai le, wo yao shi bu ce ge zi, xian zhe ye bu hao.
" ai, gei wo ce ge zi!"
zhe wei xian sheng yi qiao, da gao ge er, gen zhe si ge ma bian, xin li jiu you pu er la. zen me? sui shuo ta mei jian guo zhang zong chang, ke ting shuo guo zhang zong chang de wai hao, jiao zhang tui jiang jun, ta tui zhang you jiao gou rou jiang jun, dang chu ta mai guo gou rou! ai, shi zhe me hui shi er. jiu wen le:
" nin ce ge zi?"
" a."
" nin xie ge zi ba!"
zhuo er shang you kuai bai ci zhuan er, rang ta wang shang xie ge zi. ta xie shen me ya? mai gou rou de chu shen, ren bu liao lia ban zi er, ta zen me xie ya? ke shi ren jia rang xie ge zi, xie ba, jian dan de ta hai neng cou he meng shang lai. ai, yi pie yi na, xie le ge" ren" zi. xie zai shen me di fang le ne? ren jia rang ta xie zai bai ci zhuan er shang, ta mei you. pai zi shang bu shi xie zhe" da bu tong" ma, ai, ta zai zhe" da" zi er de pang bian r xie le ge" ren" zi er. he! zhe ce zi de, gong gong jing jing di zhan qi lai le:
" ai ya, yuan lai nin shi yi wei da ren na!"
zhang zong chang yi ting:
" a! ni zen me zhi dao de?"
zen me zhi dao de? nin kan, zhe suan gua ce zi de, quan zhang zhe cha yan guan se ya. ce zi xian sheng zao qiao chu lai le, si ge ma bian zai pang bian r, ta na xiang er shi shen qi shi zu, shuo hua da guan qiang:
" a! ni zen me zhi dao de?"
nin xiang, ren jia neng bu zhi dao ma! de, zhun le. ce zi de gen zhe jiu shuo:
" a, ce chu lai de."
" ce chu lai de?"
" dui, nin shi yi wei da ren, zhen shi ju yu yi ren zhi xia, wan wan ren zhi shang."
" o, ni zen me ce chu lai de?"
" wo qing nin xie ge zi, xie zai zhe kuai bai ci zhuan er shang, nin na, ba' ren' zi er zai zhe ge' da' zi er pang bian r le. da zi er pang bian r xie ge ren zi er, ai, nin shi yi wei da ren!"
he, zhe jia huo you liang shou er." lai lai lai! ni lai"
ta rang yi ge ma bian guo lai ce ge zi, hai zhi xiao sheng di gu:
" ye xie ren, xie ren."
rang ma bian ye xie ren. ma bian guo lai le:
" gei wo ce ge zi."
" hao, hao, nin xie ge zi ba."
zhe ge ma bian na, mei gan zai zhang zong chang xie zi er de pai zi na er xie, ta xie zai shou xin shang le, ye xie le ge" ren" zi er. ce zi de yi kan:
" nin ke bie bu le yi ting, nin ke bi bu liao na wei da ren, nin shi yi ge shou xia ren."
zhang zong chang yi ting: he, zhen ling a! qi shi ta ye hu tu, na shi ge ma bian na, ke bu shi shou xia ren ma. ta chui shou er li, zai yi pang ci hou zhe zhang zong chang, na ce zi de neng qiao bu chu lai ma!
" nin shi yi wei shou xia ren, shi da ren de shou xia ren."
" ni zen me zhi dao de?"
" ce chu lai de. nin kan na, wo rang nin xie ge zi, nin xie zai shou shang le, nin zou lu neng shou xin chao shang tuo zhe ma? bu neng, nin de ba shou fang xia, zhe bu shi shou xia ren ma?"
hei, zhe me ge shou xia ren na!
" zhe jia huo zhen ling, zhen ling! gei nong shi kuai qian."
zhang zong chang dang zhong gei le shi kuai qian, dai zhe ma bian hui qu le. hui dao du jun fu, zhang zong chang yi zuo mo: , zhen zhe me ling ma? ai, wo dao yao kan kan.
" wo shuo, ni men dao jian yu li tou ba pan le si xing de fan ren nong chu yi ge lai, wo you shi!"
da jian lao yu li tou ti chu yi ge pan si xing de ren lai, nong dao zhe er, ta guo shang tang la:
" ni shi yuan yi si ya, yuan yi huo ya?"
shui yuan yi si ya?
" da ren, wo yuan huo."
" yuan huo ya, ting wo de. ai! ni men dai zhe ta, tui tou xi zao, huan shen er gan jing yi shang, chuan de kuo qi dian er, si ge ma bian, zen me bao zhe wo, ni men zen me bao zhe ta, rang ta ye ce zi qu, ye shi' ren' zi er, kan na ce zi de zen me yang? ru guo ni lu bu chu po zhan lai, bu shi si xing ma? mian le, dang chang shi fang yao shi lou chu po zhan, beng fei hua, zhao yang qiang bi!"
" ai, shi shi shi, wo xing!"
zhe ge ren ta huo le, neng bu gao xing ma. he! ting gao xing, tui tou, xi zao, yi shang huan de ting kuo qi de, si ge ma bian gen zhe ta:" zou zou zou zou! dao na er ce' ren' zi er, ting jian le mei you?"
nin xiang, ma bian dui dai fan ren neng xiang dui dai zhang zong chang na yang ma? suo yi zhi cui ta. dao ce zi tan r zhe er, ma bian wang liang bian er yi rang, zhe fan ren jiu guo lai le:
" gei wo ce ge zi."
" o, ce zi?"
ce zi xian sheng tai tou yi kan, xin li jiu you pu er le. you shen me pu er a? zhe si ge ma bian na, yan shu. o, zuo tian gen na wei da ren lai guo, jin er you gen yi wei lai, beng wen, zhe ye shi wei da ren na. zai yi qiao, bu dui ya, zhe wei lian shang you lv you huang you shou, mian se cang bai. nin xiang, pan le si xing de ren, na mu yang neng hao kan de le ma? yi dian xue se dou mei you. ce zi xian sheng jiu qi yi xin le:
" a, nin xie ge zi ba."
ma bian chong ta yi shi yan se, na yi si rang ta xie" ren" zi. ta na, mei gan shang qian qu xie, jiu zhe me yi shuo:
" a, wo ce ge' ren' zi er."
ta zhe me yi shuo" ren" na, si ge ma bian hai wang ta gen qian qi he qi he, xiao sheng di gu:
" ai, jing shen dian er!"
ce zi xian sheng yi kan na, xing le, geng qing chu le, jiu shuo le:
" ai ya, zhe ge shuo chu lai, nin ke bie nao a, wo kan nin na, bu xiang yi wei da ren, xiang ge fan zui de zui ren!"
zhe jia huo yi ting jiu leng le, ta zhe me yi leng, xian sheng xin li geng you di la. ma bian gan jin shuo:
" ai, bie hu shuo ba dao, zhe shi wo men da ren."
" shen me da ren na, ta shi yi ge fan zui de zui ren, zai zi er li yi jing ce chu lai le.
" ni zen me ce chu lai de?"
" zen me ce chu lai de, ta zhe ge' ren' zi mei xie, shi zui li shuo de, zui nai kou ye. nin xiang, kou li jia ge ren zi, nian qiu fan de' qiu', hei hei, zhe ge beng ce le, ta shi ge qiu fan!"
si ge ma bian zhe me yi ting a:" ai, ni ya, bie zhuang zhe wan er le, gen wo men hui qu ba!" de, you gei la hui qu la!
hui lai gen zhang zong chang zhe me yi shuo, zhang zong chang yi ting:
" he! zhe ge ce zi de tai ling le, zan men gei ta song kuai bian." song kuai bian de xie zi er a, ta bu hui xie ya, gen can mou zhang ta men si wu ge ren yan jiu le san tian, zhe cai yan jiu chu yi ge ci er lai, xie le si ge zi:" you qiu bi ying".
ai, ta na ce zi xian sheng dang le tu di ye la!
nin xiang," you qiu bi ying" shi tu di miao li de bian na! chui chui da da gei song qu le. he, zhe bian yi gua shang ke liao bu de la, zhe ce zi xian sheng dou qi lai le, mei tian neng zhuan ge wu liu shi kuai qian na. tian tian you ren wei zhe ce zi. zen me? zhang du ban qin zi song bian, quan cheng dou rang rng dong le, dou lai zhao ta ce zi. ta de qian yue zhuan yue duo. zhe xia er huai le, zen me ne? dang shi zai ji nan fu you san ge liu mang e ba, hao cheng zhu shi san xiong di: zhu da, zhu er, zhu san. zhe ge er sa, cheng tian shi da bian jie ma bian xiang, chu cha guan jin fan guan, ting xi kan dian ying dou bu hua qian. bu guan shi na jia mai mai kai zhang, huo shi shui jia ban shi, hun sang jia qu, ai, dou de qing ta men ge er sa.
zhe tian, lao da jiu gen lao er lao san shuo le:
" ai, xiong di, da guan yuan li na ge ce zi de, yi tian zheng wu liu shi kuai qian, zan men ji nan fu de qian dou rang ta zheng qu la, bu xing, zou! zan men zhao ta ma fan qu!"
" zen me zhao wa?"
" zen me zhao wa zan men zhao ta ce zi, bu dui geng beng shuo, ling ye shuo bu ling, zan men lai ge za tan zi qiang yang qian!"
" hao, zhe zhu yi bu cuo, zou, zou!"
ge er sa dao le ce zi tan r:
" hei! gei wo ce ge zi!"
ce zi xian sheng yi kan, he! shi zhe san wei, ren shi, hao ma, liu mang e ba! gan jin zhan qi lai la:
" o, hao, nin na wei xian ce ya?"
lao da yue:" wo! gei wo xian ce!"
" hao, nin zhua ge zi ba."
ce zi tan r zhuo shang you ge xiao kuang luo, li bian r you hao xie ge xie hao le de zhi bi er. lao da yi yao tou:
" bu hui zhua!"
" na nin xie yi ge zi ba.
" bu hui xie!"
" nin shuo yi ge ba."
lao da gang xiang shuo, bu hui shuo! yi zuo mo zhe bu xiang hua ya? shuo yi ge zi ba, shuo shi mo ne? , jiu shuo zi ji de xing ba:
" zhu!"
xian sheng yi ting: zhu? hai yi wei zhu yang de zhu na, xin li jiu xiang le: zhe sa liu mang shui ye bu gan re, ru guo ce bu ling, wo zhe tan zi jiu bie bai le, zhe de xiang zhu yi feng cheng ta ji ju, hai de rang ta ling le. yi zuo mo ta men ge er sa zhe xing wei:
" ai ya, nin zhe ge zi, ke hao a!"
" a? zen me ge hao fa!"
" jin tian nin na, cong zhe er wang xi zou, zhun bao you ren qing nin chi fan, zhe dun fan hai te bie de hao. ha ha, ru guo yao dui le, ling le de hua, qing nin gei wo chuan ming."
lao da zhe me yi ting: zen me zhao, cong zhe er wang xi qu, you ren qing wo chi fan?
" hao ba, wo wang xi qu shi shi, yao shi mei ren qing wo chi fan, bie guai wo bu ke qi, hui lai wo ke chi ni!"
lao da yue wan le wang pang bian yi zhan, lao er guo lai le:
" ai, ce ge zi!"
" a, nin xie ge zi ba."
" bu hui xie!"
" nin shuo yi ge ba."
" zhu!"
ye shi" zhu", zhe shi cheng xin zhao cha r a!
" o, nin ye ce zhe' zhu', nin zhe shi di er ge' zhu' zi nin zhe zi ye hao, nin jin tian yao shi wang dong qu, bi ran you ren song nin yi jian yi fu chuan."
" zen me zhao?"
" wang dong qu, bi ran you ren song nin yi jian yi fu chuan."
" hao le, wo wang dong qu shi shi, you ren song wo yi fu hai ze ba le yao shi mei ren song wo yi fu, hui lai wo ke ba ni yi fu!"
lao er yi niu lian er:
" lao san, ni lai!"
lao san wang na er yi zhan, ba mao zi kou dao hou nao shao er shang, da zui yi pie, shuo le:
" wo ye ce ge zi!"
" nin xie yi ge ba."
" beng xie la!' zhu'!"
zhe xian sheng yi ting, zhe sa ren shi yi ge miao li tai chu lai de, zen me dou shi" zhu" a? zhe ke shi cheng xin.
" ha nin zhe zi ye hao, jin tian nin yao wang bei qu"
" ni bie shuo la, wo yao wang bei qu, you ren qing wo chi fan, you ren song wo yi fu chuan, you ren qing wo kan dian ying, you ren qing wo xi zao"
" ha ha, dou bu dui."
" na zen me yang a?"
" nin yao wang bei qu, ha ha you ren zou ni yi dun!"
" shen me! you ren zou wo yi dun?"
" ai ha ha bao xian zhe dun zou hai bu qing."
lao san yi ting, zhe ge qi ya:
" xing la xing la, chong ni zhe me yi shuo, wo fei wang bei qu bu ke, you ren zou wo hai ze ba le mei ren zou wo, wo lai zou ni!" zhe bu shi gu tou ma?
" zou zou zou! yi hui er hui lai zan men zai shuo!"
sa ren zou la. zheng zou zhe na, lao da gen lao er lao san jiu shuo le:
" ai, ni men shuo zhe ce zi de ling bu ling?" lao er shuo:" ling shen me ya, ling bu liao."
lao san shuo:" beng ting na tao, da ge ni wang xi, er ge ni wang dong, wo wang bei xia wu zan men zai zhe er peng mian r, zhi yao you yi ge bu ling de, zan men jiu za tan zi, qiang yang qian!"
" ai, dui!"
ge er sa fen shou le. dao le xia wu, ge er sa yi peng mian r, ai! du ling la.
zhe hui ce zi zen me ling de ne? zhe mei shen me shen mi, ye bu shi ta hui shen me" qi men dun jia", qi shi a, ce zi jiu shi tui li. zhe xian sheng qing chu ta men sa de xing wei ya, zhu shi san xiong di, da bian xian, ma bian xiang, chu cha guan jin fan guan dou bu hua qian, mai mai kai zhang, shui jia ban shi, dou de qing qing ta men. gen ju zhe ge, ai, gei ta men sa suan ling la.
ta rang lao da ya wang xi qu. xian sheng xin li zhi dao: jin tian xi jie shang you jia qu xi fu, lao da cong men kou yi guo, ren jia bi ran qing ta chi fan. lao er wang dong qu, dong jie you ge gu yi pu kai zhang, zhang gui de yi kan lao er guo lai le, gan jin na chu yi jian li fu ne ma gua er:" er ye, zhe shi xiao jing nin de, nin chuan shang shi shi.
yi shi ting he shen, ai, ta chuan shang la.
na me lao san ne? xian sheng rang ta wang bei, zou bei jie. ji nan fu bei jie shang you du jun fu wa. na tiao jie, ping chang lao bai xing dou mei ren gan zou. xiang ni xin le xian sheng de hua bu jiu wan le ma, ta bu xin. lao san jiu zhe mu yang, heng da bi liang er:
" shen me! ai dun zou? zai ji nan fu, ye bu da ting da ting, tian shi lao da, di shi lao er, wo jiu shi na ge lao san! da wo, shui gan da wo?"
ta ye shi dao mei cui de. ni hao hao de jiu wang qian zou ba, ni ke wang hou tui ge shen me jin r a!
" da wo, shui gan da wo?"
gang tui le liang bu, xing la, zheng gan shang zhang zong chang de jiu yi tai tai chu lai mai dong xi, chuan zhe xin xin de duan er xie, ta zheng cai shang yi jiao! na hai rao de le ta ya. si ge ma bian bu you fen shuo, guo lai ping pang wu si jiu shi yi dun pi bian zi! da le ge bi qing lian zhong, nao dai shang qi le qi ge da ge da, hai you yi ge da ku long.
deng dao le xia wu, zhe ge er sa you ju hui dao yi kuai er la, zhe lao da jiu shuo:" lao er, lao san, hai zhen you ren qing wo chi fan, zhe dun fan chi de hai zhen bu cuo."
lao er shuo:
" da ge, nin kan wo zhe ma gua er zen me yang? lao long tai li fu ne!"
lao san shuo:
" xing le, ni men kan wo zhe bao ye bu xiao wa!"
lao er shuo:
" na ni yuan shui ya? ren jia ce zi xian sheng shuo la, ni wang bei qu yao ai dun zou ma, ni bu zhu yi."
" wo zhu yi shen me ya? wo zhe dun zou yi jing ai shang la!"
" ren jia zhe xian sheng ling!"
" ling a, bu xin na tao, zou! ni men lia gen wo yi kuai er zhao ta qu!"
lao da yue:
" zhe mei fa qu, ren jia ce zi bu ling, mei ying yan, zan men neng zhao qu xian zai ling la, dao na er, ni gen ren jia shuo shi mo ya?"
" wo dang ran you de shuo la. bi fang shuo: zan men ge er sa, shuo san ge zi, san yang er ta gei ce chu san yang er lai, ling! ke ni men zuo mo zuo mo: zan men ge er sa quan shi yi ge zi er, ta gei ce chu san yang er lai: nin you ren qing chi fan, wo er ge you ren song yi fu, dao wo zhe er ai zou? zhe bu dui, zan men de zhao ta qu!"
lao da yi ting:" dui ya, you dao li, zan men de zhao ta qu!"
lao er ye shuo:
" dui, zou."
ge er sa jiu qu le. dao le na er, ce zi xian sheng zheng yao shou tan r. zhe ge er sa yi kan:
" ai! bie shou, wo men zhao ni lai la."
ce zi xian sheng yi kan shi zao chen na san wei. gan jin wen lao da:
" zen me yang, gei nin ce de na ge zi, ling le ma?"
lao da de yi yang yang di shuo:" ling la! jin er wo wang dong qu, hai zhen you ren qing wo chi fan, ai, chi de hai bu cuo."
ce zi xian sheng yi ting le la, you wen lao er:
" nin zen me yang a?"
lao er shuo:
" ha ha, ni qiao zhe ma gua er, shi ren jia song wo de."
" zhe wei, nin zen me yang a?"
lao san shuo: "
" ni hai qiao bu chu lai ma? fei zhe fen er hua! ni kan, qi ge ge da, zhe er hai you yi ge ku long!"
" ha ha zhen ai le zou la?"
" ai la, zen me yang ba?"
" ha ha, ji ran ai le, wo suan ling le, na nin hai zhao wo gan ma ya?"
" zhao ni gan ma ya, dang ran yao zhao ni la. bi fang shuo ba, wo men ge er sa, shuo le san ge zi er, san yang er. ni ke yi ce cheng sa jie guo. ke shi wo men dou ce de shi' zhu' zi er, ni wei shi me ce wo da ge you ren qing chi fan, wo er ge you ren song yi fu, pian pian jiu shi wo yao ai zou na?!"
zhe ce zi xian sheng xiao le:
" ha ha, zhe dang ran you dao li la, mei dao li neng xing ma? ni men ge er sa quan shuo de zhu zhu zi, zhe zhu zhu zi, jiu hao bi shi yi kou zhu"
zhe ge er sa yi ting: o, wo men quan shi zhu a?
" tou yi ge zhu na, zhe jiao' fei zhu gong men', zhe zhu gong men qu la. nin xiang a, zhe zhu yi gong men, zhu ren jiu zuo mo le: zhe zhu hao hao de, gong men gan ma ya? o, duo ban shi e la, de le, nong dian er dou fu zha wei wei ta ba. ai, suo yi you ren qing ni da ge chi fan."
lao da xin shuo: o, wo chi de shi zhu shi a!
" zen me wo er ge you ren song ta yi fu chuan na?"
" di er ge, ni er ge ye shi ce de zhe ge zhu, zhe shi fei zhu er ci gong men. zhu ren yi qiao: yo! gang tian wan zhu shi a, zen me you gong men lai la? o, tian liang la, zhun shi zhe zhu leng la, gei nong dian er mai cao pu shang ba. bi ran you ren gei ni er ge song jian yi fu chuan."
lao er yi qiao zhe ma gua er: ai, zhe jiu shi na dian er mai cao!
lao san shuo:" na bu dui ya, zen me jiu wo ai zou na?"
ce zi xian sheng shuo le:
" dui ya, zhe zhu chi bao le, ye chuan nuan huo la, you lai gong men, bu zou ni hai deng shen me ya!"
jīn ér wǒ shuō yí gè cè zì de shì ér. zài shān dōng jǐ nán fǔ," dà guān yuán" lǐ tou yǒu gè cè zì tān r. kě bú shì xiàn zài de shì qíng. shén me nián tóu a? mín guó shí qī nián yě jiù shì yī jiǔ èr bā nián. nà shí hou míng, dà jūn fá zhāng zōng chāng shí, dāng shān dōng dū bàn. "
zhè wèi cè zì xiān shēng, shuí yě bù zhī dào xìng shén me, tā yǒu gè wài háo jiào" dà bù tóng". nà yì sī shì, tā zhè gè cè zì de gēn bié rén dà bù xiāng tóng. zài zhuō zi qián biān bǎi zhe gè pái zi, shàng bian r xiě zhe sā zì ér:" dà bù tóng".
zhè tiān na, zhèng gǎn shàng zhāng zōng chāng dào dà guān yuán lǐ liù wān ér, zhāng zōng chāng gè zi yòu dà, dài zhe sì gè mǎ biàn, dōu bié zhe hé zi qiāng, bēi zhe dà kǎn dāo. zhāng zōng chāng yī kàn, nà ér wéi zhe yī duī rén, jiù shuō le:
xué shān dōng kǒu yīn" ? zǒu, jìn qù chǒu chǒu!"
tā yī shuō jìn qù chǒu chǒu, mǎ biàn jiù guò qù le, lūn zhe biān zi hōng rén. dà huǒ gǎn jǐn wǎng liǎng biān shǎn. zhāng zōng chāng jiù jìn qù le. yī kàn, shì gè cè zì de. zhāng zōng chāng yī xiǎng: bǎ rén dōu hōng kāi le, wǒ yào shì bù cè gè zì, xiǎn zhe yě bù hǎo.
" āi, gěi wǒ cè gè zì!"
zhè wèi xiān shēng yī qiáo, dà gāo gè ér, gēn zhe sì gè mǎ biàn, xīn lǐ jiù yǒu pǔ ér la. zěn me? suī shuō tā méi jiàn guò zhāng zōng chāng, kě tīng shuō guò zhāng zōng chāng de wài hào, jiào zhǎng tuǐ jiāng jūn, tā tuǐ zhǎng yòu jiào gǒu ròu jiāng jūn, dāng chū tā mài guò gǒu ròu! āi, shì zhè me huí shì ér. jiù wèn le:
" nín cè gè zì?"
" a."
" nín xiě gè zì ba!"
zhuō ér shàng yǒu kuài bái cí zhuān ér, ràng tā wǎng shàng xiě gè zì. tā xiě shén me ya? mài gǒu ròu de chū shēn, rèn bù liǎo liǎ bàn zì ér, tā zěn me xiě ya? kě shì rén jiā ràng xiě gè zì, xiě ba, jiǎn dān de tā hái néng còu hé méng shàng lái. āi, yī piě yī nà, xiě le gè" rén" zì. xiě zài shén me dì fang le ne? rén jiā ràng tā xiě zài bái cí zhuān ér shàng, tā méi yǒu. pái zi shàng bú shì xiě zhe" dà bù tóng" ma, āi, tā zài zhè" dà" zì ér de páng biān r xiě le gè" rén" zì ér. hē! zhè cè zì de, gōng gōng jìng jìng dì zhàn qǐ lái le:
" āi yā, yuán lái nín shì yī wèi dà rén nǎ!"
zhāng zōng chāng yī tīng:
" a! nǐ zěn me zhī dào de?"
zěn me zhī dào de? nín kàn, zhè suàn guà cè zì de, quán zhàng zhe chá yán guān sè ya. cè zì xiān shēng zǎo qiáo chū lái le, sì gè mǎ biàn zài páng biān r, tā nà xiāng ér shì shén qì shí zú, shuō huà dǎ guān qiāng:
" a! nǐ zěn me zhī dào de?"
nín xiǎng, rén jiā néng bù zhī dào ma! dé, zhǔn le. cè zì de gēn zhe jiù shuō:
" a, cè chū lái de."
" cè chū lái de?"
" duì, nín shì yī wèi dà rén, zhēn shì jū yú yī rén zhī xià, wàn wàn rén zhī shàng."
" ō, nǐ zěn me cè chū lái de?"
" wǒ qǐng nín xiě gè zì, xiě zài zhè kuài bái cí zhuān ér shàng, nín nǎ, bǎ' rén' zì ér zài zhè gè' dà' zì ér páng biān r le. dà zì ér páng biān r xiě gè rén zì ér, āi, nín shì yī wèi dà rén!"
hē, zhè jiā huo yǒu liǎng shǒu ér." lái lái lái! nǐ lái"
tā ràng yí gè mǎ biàn guò lái cè gè zì, hái zhí xiǎo shēng dí gū:
" yě xiě rén, xiě rén."
ràng mǎ biàn yě xiě rén. mǎ biàn guò lái le:
" gěi wǒ cè gè zì."
" hǎo, hǎo, nín xiě gè zì ba."
zhè gè mǎ biàn nǎ, méi gǎn zài zhāng zōng chāng xiě zì ér de pái zi nà ér xiě, tā xiě zài shǒu xīn shàng le, yě xiě le gè" rén" zì ér. cè zì de yī kàn:
" nín kě bié bù lè yì tīng, nín kě bǐ bù liǎo nà wèi dà rén, nín shì yí gè shǒu xià rén."
zhāng zōng chāng yī tīng: hē, zhēn líng a! qí shí tā yě hú tú, nà shi gè mǎ biàn nǎ, kě bú shì shǒu xià rén ma. tā chuí shǒu ér lì, zài yī páng cì hou zhe zhāng zōng chāng, nà cè zì de néng qiáo bù chū lái ma!
" nín shì yī wèi shǒu xià rén, shì dà rén de shǒu xià rén."
" nǐ zěn me zhī dào de?"
" cè chū lái de. nín kàn nǎ, wǒ ràng nín xiě gè zì, nín xiě zài shǒu shàng le, nín zǒu lù néng shǒu xīn cháo shàng tuō zhe ma? bù néng, nín dé bǎ shǒu fàng xià, zhè bú shì shǒu xià rén ma?"
hēi, zhè me gè shǒu xià rén nǎ!
" zhè jiā huo zhēn líng, zhēn líng! gěi nòng shí kuài qián."
zhāng zōng chāng dāng zhòng gěi le shí kuài qián, dài zhe mǎ biàn huí qù le. huí dào dū jūn fǔ, zhāng zōng chāng yī zuó mo: , zhēn zhè me líng ma? āi, wǒ dào yào kàn kàn.
" wǒ shuō, nǐ men dào jiān yù lǐ tou bǎ pàn le sǐ xíng de fàn rén nòng chū yí gè lái, wǒ yǒu shì!"
dǎ jiān láo yù lǐ tou tí chū yí gè pàn sǐ xíng de rén lái, nòng dào zhè ér, tā guò shàng táng la:
" nǐ shì yuàn yì sǐ ya, yuàn yì huó ya?"
shuí yuàn yì sǐ ya?
" dà rén, wǒ yuàn huó."
" yuàn huó ya, tīng wǒ de. āi! nǐ men dài zhe tā, tuī tóu xǐ zǎo, huàn shēn ér gān jìng yī shang, chuān dé kuò qì diǎn ér, sì gè mǎ biàn, zěn me bǎo zhe wǒ, nǐ men zěn me bǎo zhe tā, ràng tā yě cè zì qù, yě shì' rén' zì ér, kàn nà cè zì de zěn me yàng? rú guǒ nǐ lù bù chū pò zhàn lái, bú shì sǐ xíng ma? miǎn le, dāng chǎng shì fàng yào shì lòu chū pò zhàn, béng fèi huà, zhào yàng qiāng bì!"
" āi, shì shì shì, wǒ xíng!"
zhè gè rén tā huó le, néng bù gāo xìng ma. hē! tǐng gāo xìng, tuī tóu, xǐ zǎo, yī shang huàn dé tǐng kuò qì de, sì gè mǎ biàn gēn zhe tā:" zǒu zǒu zǒu zǒu! dào nà ér cè' rén' zì ér, tīng jiàn le méi yǒu?"
nín xiǎng, mǎ biàn duì dài fàn rén néng xiàng duì dài zhāng zōng chāng nà yàng ma? suǒ yǐ zhí cuī tā. dào cè zì tān r zhè ér, mǎ biàn wǎng liǎng biān ér yī ràng, zhè fàn rén jiù guò lái le:
" gěi wǒ cè gè zì."
" ō, cè zì?"
cè zì xiān shēng tái tóu yī kàn, xīn lǐ jiù yǒu pǔ ér le. yǒu shén me pǔ ér a? zhè sì gè mǎ biàn nǎ, yǎn shú. ō, zuó tiān gēn nà wèi dà rén lái guò, jīn ér yòu gēn yī wèi lái, béng wèn, zhè yě shì wèi dà rén nǎ. zài yī qiáo, bú duì ya, zhè wèi liǎn shàng yòu lǜ yòu huáng yòu shòu, miàn sè cāng bái. nín xiǎng, pàn le sǐ xíng de rén, nà mú yàng néng hǎo kàn de le ma? yì diǎn xuè sè dōu méi yǒu. cè zì xiān shēng jiù qǐ yí xīn le:
" a, nín xiě gè zì ba."
mǎ biàn chōng tā yī shǐ yǎn sè, nà yì sī ràng tā xiě" rén" zì. tā nǎ, méi gǎn shàng qián qù xiě, jiù zhè me yī shuō:
" a, wǒ cè gè' rén' zì ér."
tā zhè me yī shuō" rén" nǎ, sì gè mǎ biàn hái wǎng tā gēn qián qī hé qī hé, xiǎo shēng dí gū:
" āi, jīng shén diǎn ér!"
cè zì xiān shēng yī kàn nǎ, xíng le, gèng qīng chǔ le, jiù shuō le:
" āi yā, zhè gè shuō chū lái, nín kě bié nǎo a, wǒ kàn nín nǎ, bù xiàng yī wèi dà rén, xiàng gè fàn zuì de zuì rén!"
zhè jiā huo yī tīng jiù lèng le, tā zhè me yī lèng, xiān shēng xīn lǐ gèng yǒu dǐ la. mǎ biàn gǎn jǐn shuō:
" āi, bié hú shuō bā dào, zhè shì wǒ men dà rén."
" shén me dà rén nǎ, tā shì yí gè fàn zuì de zuì rén, zài zì ér lǐ yǐ jīng cè chū lái le.
" nǐ zěn me cè chū lái de?"
" zěn me cè chū lái de, tā zhè gè' rén' zì méi xiě, shì zuǐ lǐ shuō de, zuǐ nǎi kǒu yě. nín xiǎng, kǒu lǐ jiā gè rén zì, niàn qiú fàn de' qiú', hēi hēi, zhè gè béng cè le, tā shì gè qiú fàn!"
sì gè mǎ biàn zhè me yī tīng a:" āi, nǐ ya, bié zhuāng zhe wán ér le, gēn wǒ men huí qù ba!" dé, yòu gěi lā huí qù la!
huí lái gēn zhāng zōng chāng zhè me yī shuō, zhāng zōng chāng yī tīng:
" hē! zhè gè cè zì de tài líng le, zán men gěi tā sòng kuài biǎn." sòng kuài biǎn dé xiě zì ér a, tā bú huì xiě ya, gēn cān móu zhǎng tā men sì wǔ gè rén yán jiū le sān tiān, zhè cái yán jiū chū yí gè cí ér lái, xiě le sì gè zì:" yǒu qiú bì yìng".
āi, tā ná cè zì xiān shēng dāng le tǔ dì yé la!
nín xiǎng," yǒu qiú bì yìng" shì tǔ dì miào lǐ de biǎn nǎ! chuī chuī dǎ dǎ gěi sòng qù le. hē, zhè biǎn yī guà shàng kě liǎo bù dé la, zhè cè zì xiān shēng dǒu qǐ lái le, měi tiān néng zhuàn gè wǔ liù shí kuài qián nǎ. tiān tiān yǒu rén wéi zhe cè zì. zěn me? zhāng dū bàn qīn zì sòng biǎn, quán chéng dōu rāng rng dòng le, dōu lái zhǎo tā cè zì. tā de qián yuè zhuàn yuè duō. zhè xià ér huài le, zěn me ne? dāng shí zài jǐ nán fǔ yǒu sān ge liú máng è bà, hào chēng zhū shì sān xiōng dì: zhū dà, zhū èr, zhū sān. zhè gē ér sā, chéng tiān shì dǎ biàn jiē mà biàn xiàng, chū chá guǎn jìn fàn guǎn, tīng xì kàn diàn yǐng dōu bù huā qián. bù guǎn shì nǎ jiā mǎi mài kāi zhāng, huò shì shuí jiā bàn shì, hūn sàng jià qǔ, āi, dōu de qǐng tā men gē ér sā.
zhè tiān, lǎo dà jiù gēn lǎo èr lǎo sān shuō le:
" āi, xiōng dì, dà guān yuán lǐ nà gè cè zì de, yì tiān zhēng wǔ liù shí kuài qián, zán men jǐ nán fǔ de qián dōu ràng tā zhēng qù la, bù xíng, zǒu! zán men zhǎo tā má fán qù!"
" zěn me zhǎo wa?"
" zěn me zhǎo wa zán men zhǎo tā cè zì, bú duì gèng béng shuō, líng yě shuō bù líng, zán men lái gè zá tān zi qiǎng yáng qián!"
" hǎo, zhè zhǔ yì bù cuò, zǒu, zǒu!"
gē ér sā dào le cè zì tān r:
" hēi! gěi wǒ cè gè zì!"
cè zì xiān shēng yī kàn, hē! shì zhè sān wèi, rèn shi, hǎo ma, liú máng è bà! gǎn jǐn zhàn qǐ lái la:
" ō, hǎo, nín nà wèi xiān cè ya?"
lǎo dà yuè:" wǒ! gěi wǒ xiān cè!"
" hǎo, nín zhuā gè zì ba."
cè zì tān r zhuō shàng yǒu gè xiǎo kuāng luó, lǐ bian r yǒu hǎo xiē gè xiě hǎo le de zhǐ bǐ ér. lǎo dà yī yáo tóu:
" bú huì zhuā!"
" nà nín xiě yí gè zì ba.
" bú huì xiě!"
" nín shuō yí gè ba."
lǎo dà gāng xiǎng shuō, bú huì shuō! yī zuó mo zhè bù xiàng huà ya? shuō yí gè zì ba, shuō shí mǒ ne? , jiù shuō zì jǐ de xìng ba:
" zhū!"
xiān shēng yī tīng: zhū? hái yǐ wéi zhū yáng de zhū nǎ, xīn lǐ jiù xiǎng le: zhè sā liú máng shuí yě bù gǎn rě, rú guǒ cè bù líng, wǒ zhè tān zi jiù bié bǎi le, zhè dé xiǎng zhǔ yì fèng chéng tā jǐ jù, hái dé ràng tā líng le. yī zuó mo tā men gē ér sā zhè xíng wéi:
" āi yā, nín zhè gè zì, kě hǎo a!"
" a? zěn me gè hǎo fǎ!"
" jīn tiān nín nǎ, cóng zhè ér wǎng xī zǒu, zhǔn bǎo yǒu rén qǐng nín chī fàn, zhè dùn fàn hái tè bié de hǎo. hā hā, rú guǒ yào duì le, líng le de huà, qǐng nín gěi wǒ chuán míng."
lǎo dà zhè me yī tīng: zěn me zhāo, cóng zhè ér wǎng xī qù, yǒu rén qǐng wǒ chī fàn?
" hǎo ba, wǒ wǎng xī qù shì shì, yào shì méi rén qǐng wǒ chī fàn, bié guài wǒ bù kè qì, huí lái wǒ kě chī nǐ!"
lǎo dà yuè wán le wǎng páng biān yī zhàn, lǎo èr guò lái le:
" āi, cè gè zì!"
" a, nín xiě gè zì ba."
" bú huì xiě!"
" nín shuō yí gè ba."
" zhū!"
yě shì" zhū", zhè shì chéng xīn zhǎo chá r a!
" ō, nín yě cè zhè' zhū', nín zhè shì dì èr gè' zhū' zì nín zhè zì yě hǎo, nín jīn tiān yào shì wǎng dōng qù, bì rán yǒu rén sòng nín yī jiàn yī fú chuān."
" zěn me zhāo?"
" wǎng dōng qù, bì rán yǒu rén sòng nín yī jiàn yī fú chuān."
" hǎo le, wǒ wǎng dōng qù shì shì, yǒu rén sòng wǒ yī fú hái zé bà le yào shì méi rén sòng wǒ yī fú, huí lái wǒ kě bā nǐ yī fú!"
lǎo èr yī niǔ liǎn ér:
" lǎo sān, nǐ lái!"
lǎo sān wǎng nà ér yī zhàn, bǎ mào zi kòu dào hòu nǎo sháo ér shàng, dà zuǐ yī piě, shuō le:
" wǒ yě cè gè zì!"
" nín xiě yí gè ba."
" béng xiě la!' zhū'!"
zhè xiān shēng yī tīng, zhè sā rén shì yí gè miào lǐ tái chū lái de, zěn me dōu shì" zhū" a? zhè kě shì chéng xīn.
" hā nín zhè zì yě hǎo, jīn tiān nín yào wǎng běi qù"
" nǐ bié shuō la, wǒ yào wǎng běi qù, yǒu rén qǐng wǒ chī fàn, yǒu rén sòng wǒ yī fú chuān, yǒu rén qǐng wǒ kàn diàn yǐng, yǒu rén qǐng wǒ xǐ zǎo"
" hā hā, dōu bú duì."
" nà zěn me yàng a?"
" nín yào wǎng běi qù, hā hā yǒu rén zòu nǐ yī dùn!"
" shén me! yǒu rén zòu wǒ yī dùn?"
" āi hā hā bǎo xiǎn zhè dùn zòu hái bù qīng."
lǎo sān yī tīng, zhè gè qì ya:
" xíng la xíng la, chōng nǐ zhè me yī shuō, wǒ fēi wǎng běi qù bù kě, yǒu rén zòu wǒ hái zé bà le méi rén zòu wǒ, wǒ lái zòu nǐ!" zhè bú shì gú tou ma?
" zǒu zǒu zǒu! yī huì ér huí lái zán men zài shuō!"
sā rén zǒu la. zhèng zǒu zhe nǎ, lǎo dà gēn lǎo èr lǎo sān jiù shuō le:
" āi, nǐ men shuō zhè cè zì de líng bù líng?" lǎo èr shuō:" líng shén me ya, líng bù liǎo."
lǎo sān shuō:" béng tīng nà tào, dà gē nǐ wǎng xī, èr gē nǐ wǎng dōng, wǒ wǎng běi xià wǔ zán men zài zhè ér pèng miàn r, zhǐ yào yǒu yí gè bù líng de, zán men jiù zá tān zi, qiǎng yáng qián!"
" āi, duì!"
gē ér sā fēn shǒu le. dào le xià wǔ, gē ér sā yī pèng miàn r, āi! dū líng la.
zhè huí cè zì zěn me líng de ne? zhè méi shén me shén mì, yě bú shì tā huì shén me" qí mén dùn jiǎ", qí shí a, cè zì jiù shì tuī lǐ. zhè xiān shēng qīng chǔ tā men sā de xíng wéi ya, zhū shì sān xiōng dì, dǎ biàn xián, mà biàn xiàng, chū chá guǎn jìn fàn guǎn dōu bù huā qián, mǎi mài kāi zhāng, shuí jiā bàn shì, dōu de qǐng qǐng tā men. gēn jù zhè gè, āi, gěi tā men sā suàn líng la.
tā ràng lǎo dà ya wǎng xī qù. xiān shēng xīn lǐ zhī dào: jīn tiān xī jiē shàng yǒu jiā qǔ xí fù, lǎo dà cóng mén kǒu yī guò, rén jiā bì rán qǐng tā chī fàn. lǎo èr wǎng dōng qù, dōng jiē yǒu gè gù yī pù kāi zhāng, zhǎng guì de yī kàn lǎo èr guò lái le, gǎn jǐn ná chū yī jiàn lǐ fú ne mǎ guà ér:" èr yé, zhè shì xiào jìng nín de, nín chuān shang shì shì.
yī shì tǐng hé shēn, āi, tā chuān shang la.
nà me lǎo sān ne? xiān shēng ràng tā wǎng běi, zǒu běi jiē. jǐ nán fǔ běi jiē shàng yǒu dū jūn fǔ wa. nà tiáo jiē, píng cháng lǎo bǎi xìng dōu méi rén gǎn zǒu. xiàng nǐ xìn le xiān shēng de huà bù jiù wán le ma, tā bù xìn. lǎo sān jiù zhè mú yàng, héng dǎ bí liáng ér:
" shén me! āi dùn zòu? zài jǐ nán fǔ, yě bù dǎ tīng dǎ tīng, tiān shì lǎo dà, dì shì lǎo èr, wǒ jiù shì nà gè lǎo sān! dǎ wǒ, shuí gǎn dǎ wǒ?"
tā yě shì dǎo méi cuī de. nǐ hǎo hǎo de jiù wǎng qián zǒu ba, nǐ kě wǎng hòu tuì gè shén me jìn r a!
" dǎ wǒ, shuí gǎn dǎ wǒ?"
gāng tuì le liǎng bù, xíng la, zhèng gǎn shàng zhāng zōng chāng de jiǔ yí tài tài chū lái mǎi dōng xi, chuān zhe xīn xīn de duàn ér xié, tā zhěng cǎi shàng yī jiǎo! nà hái ráo dé le tā ya. sì gè mǎ biàn bù yóu fēn shuō, guò lái pīng pāng wǔ sì jiù shì yī dùn pí biān zi! dǎ le gè bí qīng liǎn zhǒng, nǎo dài shàng qǐ le qī ge dà gē da, hái yǒu yí gè dà kū lóng.
děng dào le xià wǔ, zhè gē ér sā yòu jù huì dào yí kuài ér la, zhè lǎo dà jiù shuō:" lǎo èr, lǎo sān, hái zhēn yǒu rén qǐng wǒ chī fàn, zhè dùn fàn chī dé hái zhēn bù cuò."
lǎo èr shuō:
" dà gē, nín kàn wǒ zhè mǎ guà ér zěn me yàng? lǎo lóng tài lǐ fú ne!"
lǎo sān shuō:
" xíng le, nǐ men kàn wǒ zhè bāo yě bù xiǎo wa!"
lǎo èr shuō:
" nà nǐ yuàn shuí ya? rén jiā cè zì xiān shēng shuō la, nǐ wǎng běi qù yào āi dùn zòu ma, nǐ bù zhù yì."
" wǒ zhù yì shén me ya? wǒ zhè dùn zòu yǐ jīng āi shàng la!"
" rén jiā zhè xiān shēng líng!"
" líng a, bù xìn nà tào, zǒu! nǐ men liǎ gēn wǒ yí kuài ér zhǎo tā qù!"
lǎo dà yuè:
" zhè méi fǎ qù, rén jiā cè zì bù líng, méi yìng yàn, zán men néng zhǎo qù xiàn zài líng la, dào nà ér, nǐ gēn rén jiā shuō shí mǒ ya?"
" wǒ dāng rán yǒu de shuō la. bǐ fāng shuō: zán men gē ér sā, shuō sān ge zì, sān yàng ér tā gěi cè chū sān yàng ér lái, líng! kě nǐ men zuó mo zuó mo: zán men gē ér sā quán shì yí gè zì ér, tā gěi cè chū sān yàng ér lái: nín yǒu rén qǐng chī fàn, wǒ èr gē yǒu rén sòng yī fú, dào wǒ zhè ér ái zòu? zhè bú duì, zán men dé zhǎo tā qù!"
lǎo dà yī tīng:" duì ya, yǒu dào li, zán men dé zhǎo tā qù!"
lǎo èr yě shuō:
" duì, zǒu."
gē ér sā jiù qù le. dào le nà ér, cè zì xiān shēng zhèng yào shōu tān r. zhè gē ér sā yī kàn:
" āi! bié shōu, wǒ men zhǎo nǐ lái la."
cè zì xiān shēng yī kàn shì zǎo chén nà sān wèi. gǎn jǐn wèn lǎo dà:
" zěn me yàng, gěi nín cè de nà gè zì, líng le ma?"
lǎo dà dé yì yáng yáng dì shuō:" líng la! jīn ér wǒ wǎng dōng qù, hái zhēn yǒu rén qǐng wǒ chī fàn, āi, chī dé hái bù cuò."
cè zì xiān shēng yī tīng lè la, yòu wèn lǎo èr:
" nín zěn me yàng a?"
lǎo èr shuō:
" hā hā, nǐ qiáo zhè mǎ guà ér, shì rén jiā sòng wǒ de."
" zhè wèi, nín zěn me yàng a?"
lǎo sān shuō: "
" nǐ hái qiáo bù chū lái ma? fèi zhè fèn ér huà! nǐ kàn, qī ge gē da, zhè ér hái yǒu yí gè kū lóng!"
" hā hā zhēn āi le zòu la?"
" āi la, zěn me yàng ba?"
" hā hā, jì rán āi le, wǒ suàn líng le, nà nín hái zhǎo wǒ gàn má ya?"
" zhǎo nǐ gàn má ya, dāng rán yào zhǎo nǐ la. bǐ fāng shuō ba, wǒ men gē ér sā, shuō le sān ge zì ér, sān yàng ér. nǐ kě yǐ cè chéng sā jié guǒ. kě shì wǒ men dōu cè de shì' zhū' zì ér, nǐ wèi shí me cè wǒ dà gē yǒu rén qǐng chī fàn, wǒ èr gē yǒu rén sòng yī fú, piān piān jiù shì wǒ yào ái zòu nǎ?!"
zhè cè zì xiān shēng xiào le:
" hā hā, zhè dāng rán yǒu dào li la, méi dào lǐ néng xíng ma? nǐ men gē ér sā quán shuō de zhū zhū zì, zhè zhū zhū zì, jiù hǎo bǐ shì yī kǒu zhū"
zhè gē ér sā yī tīng: ō, wǒ men quán shì zhū a?
" tóu yí gè zhū nǎ, zhè jiào' féi zhū gǒng mén', zhè zhū gǒng mén qù la. nín xiǎng a, zhè zhū yī gǒng mén, zhǔ rén jiù zuó mo le: zhè zhū hǎo hǎo de, gǒng mén gàn má ya? ō, duō bàn shì è la, dé le, nòng diǎn ér dòu fǔ zhā wèi wèi tā ba. āi, suǒ yǐ yǒu rén qǐng nǐ dà gē chī fàn."
lǎo dà xīn shuō: ō, wǒ chī de shì zhū shí a!
" zěn me wǒ èr gē yǒu rén sòng tā yī fú chuān nǎ?"
" dì èr gè, nǐ èr gē yě shì cè de zhè gè zhū, zhè shì féi zhū èr cì gǒng mén. zhǔ rén yī qiáo: yō! gāng tiān wán zhū shí a, zěn me yòu gǒng mén lái la? ō, tiān liáng la, zhǔn shì zhè zhū lěng la, gěi nòng diǎn ér mài cǎo pù shàng ba. bì rán yǒu rén gěi nǐ èr gē sòng jiàn yī fú chuān."
lǎo èr yī qiáo zhè mǎ guà ér: āi, zhè jiù shì nà diǎn ér mài cǎo!
lǎo sān shuō:" nà bú duì ya, zěn me jiù wǒ ái zòu nǎ?"
cè zì xiān shēng shuō le:
" duì ya, zhè zhū chī bǎo le, yě chuān nuǎn huo la, yòu lái gǒng mén, bù zòu nǐ hái děng shén me ya!"
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