知县见巡抚

知县见巡抚 歌词

歌曲 知县见巡抚
歌手 刘宝瑞
专辑 刘宝瑞单口相声大全
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在光绪年间,浙江杭州有个茶叶铺,字号叫“大发”。掌柜的姓钱叫钱如命,深通生财之道,十几年的工夫,就开了好几个分号,还在安徽买了座茶山,坐庄收茶,大发财源。可就是一样,钱掌柜斗大的字不认识两麻袋,是一个大文盲。钱如命的钱是越多越不嫌多,做着买卖,他看当官比做买卖还好,又赚钱,又威风,就花了八千银子买了个实缺知县,照价交钱,领凭接印,安排停当,走马上任。
钱如命做官也就是做买卖,别看他对官场的礼仪规矩一点不懂,可是弄钱的本事一点不比别人差。他跟一般县官没有两样,照样的贪赃卖法,鱼肉百姓。一年的工夫,地皮被刮了足有三尺,连土地爷都被他赶罗得到处“打游飞”!因为土地爷知道自己是泥做的,怕钱如命刮地皮来一锨给铲成八瓣儿!
可是钱如命对龙王爷却是另眼看待。他这县里有条河,因为久失疏浚,河槽淤塞,年年闹灾,一下雨就淹。钱如命借着修河工拚命地派捐加税,其实一锨河泥也没挖,银子全入了他的腰包啦!钱如命为了感谢龙王爷的恩典,每天晨昏三叩首,早晚一炉香,祈求龙王爷多发几回大水,好保佑他发财。他这么一来,弄得土地爷直跟龙王爷闹不团结,说,同是神仙,为什么我“打游飞”,你受香火?!两种待遇,太不公道!
钱如命做了一年多知县,八千银子的本儿早已滚了几滚,官儿瘾也就越来越大,又想弄个知府做做,就带着大批银子两到省城里去活动。
钱如命来到省城,托人给巡抚送了一份厚礼,另加一张一万两银子的银票。巡抚收到之后,一看礼物确实不轻,当时就派人传唤,钱如命听说巡抚召见,心里是又高兴,又嘀咕。高兴的是巡抚这样赏脸,我这知府有希望,银子真没白花;嘀咕的是自己虽说做了一年多知县,说良心话,实在还是一窍不通,官场的规矩全都不懂。这是头一次见巡抚,心里有点打怵,可不去又不成,再说,自己干吗来啦?
钱如命拿定主意,见巡抚要客气,有问必答。他换了身新官衣,来到衙门,见了巡抚,行完礼,落了座,差人献茶——这里得先说清楚:大官招待小官的茶是样子货,绝对不能喝,什么时候大官一端茶让客,那就是告诉你该走啦。象巡抚这样的官,他要一端起茶碗,底下的差人马上就喊“送客”,你有多重要的事情没谈,也得告辞。这个官场规矩,叫“端茶送客”——钱如命是茶叶铺掌柜出身,不懂这一套哇!心想:他是巡抚,我是知县,应当客气客气。立刻双手捧起茶碗,冲巡抚说:“大帅,您喝茶!”
巡抚听了一愣,心说:怎么,你跑到我这儿“端茶送客”来啦?!你打算把我轰哪儿去呀!钱如命看巡抚没言语,又奉承了一句:“大帅,您这茶叶真不错,我一尝就知道地道的西湖龙井!”
噢,你上我这儿品茶来啦!巡抚心说:这人怎么这样不懂规矩,谁问你是不是西湖龙井啦?
巡抚心里不高兴,脸上可没露出来。其实,倒不是这位巡抚大人宽宏大量,实在是看在那银票的分上,要不然早就翻啦。就因为喝茶这点事,他就能把县官撤喽。巡抚想:我别让他再说话了,他刚才就谈上“西湖龙井”啦,要是再让他说话,就该讲“雨前、毛尖、铁叶、大方”啦!他开茶叶铺,我这巡抚衙门改茶馆儿!……巡抚想到这儿,要跟钱如命说两句官场话:
“贵县,听说你那里年年河道成患,不知今年情景如何呀?”
巡抚问的是:你那个县年年因为河道淤塞闹水灾,不知今年闹得怎么样?可是他这么一咬文嚼字,把县官弄胡涂啦。钱如命把“河道”弄拧了。听巡抚问:“贵县,听说你那里年年河道成患,不知今年情景如何呀?”
“回大帅的话。您问和道嘛——,这个和道哇……这个……小县那里的和尚倒是好和尚;就是老道非常可恶,不是吃酒赌钱,就是斗殴生事。”
啊?巡抚一听:河道就是和尚、老道哇?我要问你河泥哪,那就是和尚、尼姑啦!胡涂之至。巡抚心里这样想,嘴上没说出来。压着性儿又问:“贵县,你那里今年雨量大不大?”
“回大帅的话。卑职那里的月亮不大,也就是烧饼大小(用手比画),啊有您这儿的大呀!昨天我到这里,看您这儿的月亮真大,象个大茶盘儿。“——他又弄错啦!
巡抚说:“哎,我问的是水。”
“噢,水呀,卑职那里的水都是甜水,没有苦水,沏茶可好喝啦。”——还没离开茶叶!
巡抚听了又好气,又好笑:这人怎么这么胡涂,河道、雨量全不懂!干脆,随便问点儿别的,让他走了算啦。
“贵县,你们那儿风土如何?”巡抚问的是风土人情,钱如命又弄拧啦:
“大帅,您问风土啊,卑职到任一年多,倒是没刮过大风,尘土也少,就是经常下大雨。”他把风土人情当刮风、尘土啦!
巡抚皱了皱眉,又问一句:
“我问贵县民风如何。”
“蜜蜂啊!卑职那里蜜蜂不多,马蜂可不少,有这么粗(伸出拇指),蜇人可厉害啦,您没挨过?”
巡抚气得胡子都撅起来啦。心里说:他这个知县是怎么当的?怎么连句官场话都不懂?我问河道,他说和尚老道;我问雨量,他说他说他那儿月亮象烧饼,我这儿月亮象茶盘儿——一个月亮两个尺寸;我问水,他说没有苦水,都是甜水,沏茶好喝着哪;我问风土,他弄成刮风尘土;我问民风,他说蜜蜂不多,马蜂不少,象手指粗细,蜇人可痛啦,还问我挨过没有……这都是什么乱七八糟的!要不是那张银票,他甭说想当知府,连豆腐我也让他做不成,哼,岂有此理!
巡抚本想训斥他几句,话到嘴边儿又咽回去了——还是银票厉害。心想:再随便问一问,找个台阶儿快让他走吧。
“贵县,你那里老百姓好不好?”
“老白杏?白杏不好,太酸。卑职没找着好杏,以后找着,下回给您带两筐来。”
这回巡抚真生气啦:脑袋后边儿的小辫儿气得直晃摇,腾!就站起来啦,用手一指钱如命:“我问的是你的小民!”
钱如命也慌忙站起来了,把头一低:
“回大帅的话。卑职的小名儿叫‘二狗子’。”
他把小名儿也说出来啦!
zai guang xu nian jian, zhe jiang hang zhou you ge cha ye pu, zi hao jiao" da fa". zhang gui de xing qian jiao qian ru ming, shen tong sheng cai zhi dao, shi ji nian de gong fu, jiu kai le hao ji ge fen hao, hai zai an hui mai le zuo cha shan, zuo zhuang shou cha, da fa cai yuan. ke jiu shi yi yang, qian zhang gui dou da de zi bu ren shi liang ma dai, shi yi ge da wen mang. qian ru ming de qian shi yue duo yue bu xian duo, zuo zhe mai mai, ta kan dang guan bi zuo mai mai hai hao, you zhuan qian, you wei feng, jiu hua le ba qian yin zi mai le ge shi que zhi xian, zhao jia jiao qian, ling ping jie yin, an pai ting dang, zou ma shang ren.
qian ru ming zuo guan ye jiu shi zuo mai mai, bie kan ta dui guan chang de li yi gui ju yi dian bu dong, ke shi nong qian de ben shi yi dian bu bi bie ren cha. ta gen yi ban xian guan mei you liang yang, zhao yang de tan zang mai fa, yu rou bai xing. yi nian de gong fu, di pi bei gua le zu you san chi, lian tu di ye dou bei ta gan luo de dao chu" da you fei"! yin wei tu di ye zhi dao zi ji shi ni zuo de, pa qian ru ming gua di pi lai yi xian gei chan cheng ba ban er!
ke shi qian ru ming dui long wang ye que shi ling yan kan dai. ta zhe xian li you tiao he, yin wei jiu shi shu jun, he cao yu se, nian nian nao zai, yi xia yu jiu yan. qian ru ming jie zhe xiu he gong pan ming di pai juan jia shui, qi shi yi xian he ni ye mei wa, yin zi quan ru le ta de yao bao la! qian ru ming wei le gan xie long wang ye de en dian, mei tian chen hun san kou shou, zao wan yi lu xiang, qi qiu long wang ye duo fa ji hui da shui, hao bao you ta fa cai. ta zhe me yi lai, nong de tu di ye zhi gen long wang ye nao bu tuan jie, shuo, tong shi shen xian, wei shi me wo" da you fei", ni shou xiang huo?! liang zhong dai yu, tai bu gong dao!
qian ru ming zuo le yi nian duo zhi xian, ba qian yin zi de ben er zao yi gun le ji gun, guan er yin ye jiu yue lai yue da, you xiang nong ge zhi fu zuo zuo, jiu dai zhe da pi yin zi liang dao sheng cheng li qu huo dong.
qian ru ming lai dao sheng cheng, tuo ren gei xun fu song le yi fen hou li, ling jia yi zhang yi wan liang yin zi de yin piao. xun fu shou dao zhi hou, yi kan li wu que shi bu qing, dang shi jiu pai ren chuan huan, qian ru ming ting shuo xun fu zhao jian, xin li shi you gao xing, you di gu. gao xing de shi xun fu zhe yang shang lian, wo zhe zhi fu you xi wang, yin zi zhen mei bai hua di gu de shi zi ji sui shuo zuo le yi nian duo zhi xian, shuo liang xin hua, shi zai hai shi yi qiao bu tong, guan chang de gui ju quan dou bu dong. zhe shi tou yi ci jian xun fu, xin li you dian da chu, ke bu qu you bu cheng, zai shuo, zi ji gan ma lai la?
qian ru ming na ding zhu yi, jian xun fu yao ke qi, you wen bi da. ta huan le shen xin guan yi, lai dao ya men, jian le xun fu, xing wan li, luo le zuo, chai ren xian cha zhe li de xian shuo qing chu: da guan zhao dai xiao guan de cha shi yang zi huo, jue dui bu neng he, shen me shi hou da guan yi duan cha rang ke, na jiu shi gao su ni gai zou la. xiang xun fu zhe yang de guan, ta yao yi duan qi cha wan, di xia de chai ren ma shang jiu han" song ke", ni you duo chong yao de shi qing mei tan, ye de gao ci. zhe ge guan chang gui ju, jiao" duan cha song ke" qian ru ming shi cha ye pu zhang gui chu shen, bu dong zhe yi tao wa! xin xiang: ta shi xun fu, wo shi zhi xian, ying dang ke qi ke qi. li ke shuang shou peng qi cha wan, chong xun fu shuo:" da shuai, nin he cha!"
xun fu ting le yi leng, xin shuo: zen me, ni pao dao wo zhe er" duan cha song ke" lai la?! ni da suan ba wo hong na er qu ya! qian ru ming kan xun fu mei yan yu, you feng cheng le yi ju:" da shuai, nin zhe cha ye zhen bu cuo, wo yi chang jiu zhi dao di dao de xi hu long jing!"
o, ni shang wo zhe er pin cha lai la! xun fu xin shuo: zhe ren zen me zhe yang bu dong gui ju, shui wen ni shi bu shi xi hu long jing la?
xun fu xin li bu gao xing, lian shang ke mei lou chu lai. qi shi, dao bu shi zhe wei xun fu da ren kuan hong da liang, shi zai shi kan zai na yin piao de fen shang, yao bu ran zao jiu fan la. jiu yin wei he cha zhe dian shi, ta jiu neng ba xian guan che lou. xun fu xiang: wo bie rang ta zai shuo hua le, ta gang cai jiu tan shang" xi hu long jing" la, yao shi zai rang ta shuo hua, jiu gai jiang" yu qian mao jian tie ye da fang" la! ta kai cha ye pu, wo zhe xun fu ya men gai cha guan r! xun fu xiang dao zhe er, yao gen qian ru ming shuo liang ju guan chang hua:
" gui xian, ting shuo ni na li nian nian he dao cheng huan, bu zhi jin nian qing jing ru he ya?"
xun fu wen de shi: ni na ge xian nian nian yin wei he dao yu se nao shui zai, bu zhi jin nian nao de zen me yang? ke shi ta zhe me yi yao wen jiao zi, ba xian guan nong hu tu la. qian ru ming ba" he dao" nong ning le. ting xun fu wen:" gui xian, ting shuo ni na li nian nian he dao cheng huan, bu zhi jin nian qing jing ru he ya?"
" hui da shuai de hua. nin wen he dao ma, zhe ge he dao wa zhe ge xiao xian na li de he shang dao shi hao he shang jiu shi lao dao fei chang ke wu, bu shi chi jiu du qian, jiu shi dou ou sheng shi."
a? xun fu yi ting: he dao jiu shi he shang lao dao wa? wo yao wen ni he ni na, na jiu shi he shang ni gu la! hu tu zhi zhi. xun fu xin li zhe yang xiang, zui shang mei shuo chu lai. ya zhe xing er you wen:" gui xian, ni na li jin nian yu liang da bu da?"
" hui da shuai de hua. bei zhi na li de yue liang bu da, ye jiu shi shao bing da xiao yong shou bi hua, a you nin zhe er de da ya! zuo tian wo dao zhe li, kan nin zhe er de yue liang zhen da, xiang ge da cha pan er." ta you nong cuo la!
xun fu shuo:" ai, wo wen de shi shui."
" o, shui ya, bei zhi na li de shui dou shi tian shui, mei you ku shui, qi cha ke hao he la." hai mei li kai cha ye!
xun fu ting le you hao qi, you hao xiao: zhe ren zen me zhe me hu tu, he dao yu liang quan bu dong! gan cui, sui bian wen dian er bie de, rang ta zou le suan la.
" gui xian, ni men na er feng tu ru he?" xun fu wen de shi feng tu ren qing, qian ru ming you nong ning la:
" da shuai, nin wen feng tu a, bei zhi dao ren yi nian duo, dao shi mei gua guo da feng, chen tu ye shao, jiu shi jing chang xia da yu." ta ba feng tu ren qing dang gua feng chen tu la!
xun fu zhou le zhou mei, you wen yi ju:
" wo wen gui xian min feng ru he."
" mi feng a! bei zhi na li mi feng bu duo, ma feng ke bu shao, you zhe me cu shen chu mu zhi, zhe ren ke li hai la, nin mei ai guo?"
xun fu qi de hu zi dou jue qi lai la. xin li shuo: ta zhe ge zhi xian shi zen me dang de? zen me lian ju guan chang hua dou bu dong? wo wen he dao, ta shuo he shang lao dao wo wen yu liang, ta shuo ta shuo ta na er yue liang xiang shao bing, wo zhe er yue liang xiang cha pan er yi ge yue liang liang ge chi cun wo wen shui, ta shuo mei you ku shui, dou shi tian shui, qi cha hao he zhe na wo wen feng tu, ta nong cheng gua feng chen tu wo wen min feng, ta shuo mi feng bu duo, ma feng bu shao, xiang shou zhi cu xi, zhe ren ke tong la, hai wen wo ai guo mei you zhe dou shi shen me luan qi ba zao de! yao bu shi na zhang yin piao, ta beng shuo xiang dang zhi fu, lian dou fu wo ye rang ta zuo bu cheng, heng, qi you ci li!
xun fu ben xiang xun chi ta ji ju, hua dao zui bian er you yan hui qu le hai shi yin piao li hai. xin xiang: zai sui bian wen yi wen, zhao ge tai jie er kuai rang ta zou ba.
" gui xian, ni na li lao bai xing hao bu hao?"
" lao bai xing? bai xing bu hao, tai suan. bei zhi mei zhao zhao hao xing, yi hou zhao zhao, xia hui gei nin dai liang kuang lai."
zhe hui xun fu zhen sheng qi la: nao dai hou bian r de xiao bian er qi de zhi huang yao, teng! jiu zhan qi lai la, yong shou yi zhi qian ru ming:" wo wen de shi ni de xiao min!"
qian ru ming ye huang mang zhan qi lai le, ba tou yi di:
" hui da shuai de hua. bei zhi de xiao ming r jiao' er gou zi'."
ta ba xiao ming r ye shuo chu lai la!
zài guāng xù nián jiān, zhè jiāng háng zhōu yǒu gè chá yè pù, zì háo jiào" dà fā". zhǎng guì de xìng qián jiào qián rú mìng, shēn tōng shēng cái zhī dào, shí jǐ nián de gōng fū, jiù kāi le hǎo jǐ gè fēn hào, hái zài ān huī mǎi le zuò chá shān, zuò zhuāng shōu chá, dà fā cái yuán. kě jiù shì yí yàng, qián zhǎng guì dǒu dà de zì bù rèn shi liǎng má dài, shì yí gè dà wén máng. qián rú mìng de qián shì yuè duō yuè bù xián duō, zuò zhe mǎi mài, tā kàn dāng guān bǐ zuò mǎi mài hái hǎo, yòu zhuàn qián, yòu wēi fēng, jiù huā le bā qiān yín zi mǎi le gè shí quē zhī xiàn, zhào jià jiāo qián, lǐng píng jiē yìn, ān pái tíng dāng, zǒu mǎ shàng rèn.
qián rú mìng zuò guān yě jiù shì zuò mǎi mài, bié kàn tā duì guān chǎng de lǐ yí guī jǔ yì diǎn bù dǒng, kě shì nòng qián de běn shì yì diǎn bù bǐ bié rén chà. tā gēn yì bān xiàn guān méi yǒu liǎng yàng, zhào yàng de tān zāng mài fǎ, yú ròu bǎi xìng. yī nián de gōng fū, dì pí bèi guā le zú yǒu sān chǐ, lián tǔ dì yé dōu bèi tā gǎn luó dé dào chù" dǎ yóu fēi"! yīn wèi tǔ dì yé zhī dào zì jǐ shì ní zuò de, pà qián rú mìng guā dì pí lái yī xiān gěi chǎn chéng bā bàn ér!
kě shì qián rú mìng duì lóng wáng yé què shì lìng yǎn kàn dài. tā zhè xiàn lǐ yǒu tiáo hé, yīn wèi jiǔ shī shū jùn, hé cáo yū sè, nián nián nào zāi, yī xià yǔ jiù yān. qián rú mìng jiè zhe xiū hé gōng pàn mìng dì pài juān jiā shuì, qí shí yī xiān hé ní yě méi wā, yín zi quán rù le tā de yāo bāo la! qián rú mìng wèi le gǎn xiè lóng wáng yé de ēn diǎn, měi tiān chén hūn sān kòu shǒu, zǎo wǎn yī lú xiāng, qí qiú lóng wáng yé duō fā jǐ huí dà shuǐ, hǎo bǎo yòu tā fā cái. tā zhè me yī lái, nòng dé tǔ dì yé zhí gēn lóng wáng yé nào bù tuán jié, shuō, tóng shì shén xiān, wèi shí me wǒ" dǎ yóu fēi", nǐ shòu xiāng huǒ?! liǎng zhǒng dài yù, tài bù gōng dào!
qián rú mìng zuò le yī nián duō zhī xiàn, bā qiān yín zi de běn ér zǎo yǐ gǔn le jǐ gǔn, guān ér yǐn yě jiù yuè lái yuè dà, yòu xiǎng nòng gè zhī fǔ zuò zuò, jiù dài zhe dà pī yín zi liǎng dào shěng chéng lǐ qù huó dòng.
qián rú mìng lái dào shěng chéng, tuō rén gěi xún fǔ sòng le yī fèn hòu lǐ, lìng jiā yī zhāng yī wàn liǎng yín zi de yín piào. xún fǔ shōu dào zhī hòu, yī kàn lǐ wù què shí bù qīng, dāng shí jiù pài rén chuán huàn, qián rú mìng tīng shuō xún fǔ zhào jiàn, xīn lǐ shì yòu gāo xìng, yòu dí gū. gāo xìng de shì xún fǔ zhè yàng shǎng liǎn, wǒ zhè zhī fǔ yǒu xī wàng, yín zǐ zhēn méi bái huā dí gū de shì zì jǐ suī shuō zuò le yī nián duō zhī xiàn, shuō liáng xīn huà, shí zài hái shì yī qiào bù tōng, guān chǎng de guī jǔ quán dōu bù dǒng. zhè shì tóu yī cì jiàn xún fǔ, xīn lǐ yǒu diǎn dǎ chù, kě bù qù yòu bù chéng, zài shuō, zì jǐ gàn má lái la?
qián rú mìng ná dìng zhǔ yì, jiàn xún fǔ yào kè qì, yǒu wèn bì dá. tā huàn le shēn xīn guān yī, lái dào yá mén, jiàn le xún fǔ, xíng wán lǐ, luò le zuò, chāi rén xiàn chá zhè lǐ dé xiān shuō qīng chǔ: dà guān zhāo dài xiǎo guān de chá shì yàng zi huò, jué duì bù néng hē, shén me shí hòu dà guān yī duān chá ràng kè, nà jiù shì gào sù nǐ gāi zǒu la. xiàng xún fǔ zhè yàng de guān, tā yào yī duān qǐ chá wǎn, dǐ xià de chāi rén mǎ shàng jiù hǎn" sòng kè", nǐ yǒu duō chóng yào de shì qíng méi tán, yě de gào cí. zhè gè guān chǎng guī jǔ, jiào" duān chá sòng kè" qián rú mìng shì chá yè pù zhǎng guì chū shēn, bù dǒng zhè yī tào wa! xīn xiǎng: tā shì xún fǔ, wǒ shì zhī xiàn, yīng dāng kè qì kè qì. lì kè shuāng shǒu pěng qǐ chá wǎn, chōng xún fǔ shuō:" dà shuài, nín hē chá!"
xún fǔ tīng le yī lèng, xīn shuō: zěn me, nǐ pǎo dào wǒ zhè ér" duān chá sòng kè" lái la?! nǐ dǎ suàn bǎ wǒ hōng nǎ ér qù ya! qián rú mìng kàn xún fǔ méi yán yǔ, yòu fèng chéng le yī jù:" dà shuài, nín zhè chá yè zhēn bù cuò, wǒ yī cháng jiù zhī dào dì dào de xī hú lóng jǐng!"
ō, nǐ shàng wǒ zhè ér pǐn chá lái la! xún fǔ xīn shuō: zhè rén zěn me zhè yàng bù dǒng guī jǔ, shuí wèn nǐ shì bú shì xī hú lóng jǐng la?
xún fǔ xīn lǐ bù gāo xìng, liǎn shàng kě méi lòu chū lái. qí shí, dào bú shì zhè wèi xún fǔ dà rén kuān hóng dà liàng, shí zài shì kàn zài nà yín piào de fēn shàng, yào bù rán zǎo jiù fān la. jiù yīn wèi hē chá zhè diǎn shì, tā jiù néng bǎ xiàn guān chè lóu. xún fǔ xiǎng: wǒ bié ràng tā zài shuō huà le, tā gāng cái jiù tán shàng" xī hú lóng jǐng" la, yào shì zài ràng tā shuō huà, jiù gāi jiǎng" yǔ qián máo jiān tiě yè dà fāng" la! tā kāi chá yè pù, wǒ zhè xún fǔ yá mén gǎi chá guǎn r! xún fǔ xiǎng dào zhè ér, yào gēn qián rú mìng shuō liǎng jù guān chǎng huà:
" guì xiàn, tīng shuō nǐ nà lǐ nián nián hé dào chéng huàn, bù zhī jīn nián qíng jǐng rú hé ya?"
xún fǔ wèn de shì: nǐ nà gè xiàn nián nián yīn wèi hé dào yū sè nào shuǐ zāi, bù zhī jīn nián nào dé zěn me yàng? kě shì tā zhè me yī yǎo wén jiáo zì, bǎ xiàn guān nòng hú tú la. qián rú mìng bǎ" hé dào" nòng níng le. tīng xún fǔ wèn:" guì xiàn, tīng shuō nǐ nà lǐ nián nián hé dào chéng huàn, bù zhī jīn nián qíng jǐng rú hé ya?"
" huí dà shuài de huà. nín wèn hé dào ma, zhè gè hé dào wa zhè gè xiǎo xiàn nà lǐ de hé shàng dǎo shì hǎo hé shàng jiù shì lǎo dào fēi cháng kě wù, bú shì chī jiǔ dǔ qián, jiù shì dòu ōu shēng shì."
a? xún fǔ yī tīng: hé dào jiù shì hé shàng lǎo dào wa? wǒ yào wèn nǐ hé ní nǎ, nà jiù shì hé shàng ní gū la! hú tú zhī zhì. xún fǔ xīn lǐ zhè yàng xiǎng, zuǐ shàng méi shuō chū lái. yā zhe xìng ér yòu wèn:" guì xiàn, nǐ nà lǐ jīn nián yǔ liàng dà bù dà?"
" huí dà shuài de huà. bēi zhí nà lǐ de yuè liàng bù dà, yě jiù shì shāo bǐng dà xiǎo yòng shǒu bǐ huà, a yǒu nín zhè ér de dà ya! zuó tiān wǒ dào zhè lǐ, kàn nín zhè ér de yuè liàng zhēn dà, xiàng gè dà chá pán ér." tā yòu nòng cuò la!
xún fǔ shuō:" āi, wǒ wèn de shì shuǐ."
" ō, shuǐ ya, bēi zhí nà lǐ de shuǐ dōu shì tián shuǐ, méi yǒu kǔ shuǐ, qī chá kě hǎo hē la." hái méi lí kāi chá yè!
xún fǔ tīng le yòu hǎo qì, yòu hǎo xiào: zhè rén zěn me zhè me hú tú, hé dào yǔ liàng quán bù dǒng! gān cuì, suí biàn wèn diǎn ér bié de, ràng tā zǒu le suàn la.
" guì xiàn, nǐ men nà ér fēng tǔ rú hé?" xún fǔ wèn de shì fēng tú rén qíng, qián rú mìng yòu nòng níng la:
" dà shuài, nín wèn fēng tǔ a, bēi zhí dào rèn yī nián duō, dǎo shì méi guā guò dà fēng, chén tǔ yě shǎo, jiù shì jīng cháng xià dà yǔ." tā bǎ fēng tú rén qíng dāng guā fēng chén tǔ la!
xún fǔ zhòu le zhòu méi, yòu wèn yī jù:
" wǒ wèn guì xiàn mín fēng rú hé."
" mì fēng a! bēi zhí nà lǐ mì fēng bù duō, mǎ fēng kě bù shǎo, yǒu zhè me cū shēn chū mǔ zhǐ, zhē rén kě lì hài la, nín méi āi guò?"
xún fǔ qì dé hú zǐ dōu juē qǐ lái la. xīn lǐ shuō: tā zhè gè zhī xiàn shì zěn me dāng de? zěn me lián jù guān chǎng huà dōu bù dǒng? wǒ wèn hé dào, tā shuō hé shàng lǎo dào wǒ wèn yǔ liàng, tā shuō tā shuō tā nà ér yuè liàng xiàng shāo bǐng, wǒ zhè ér yuè liàng xiàng chá pán ér yí gè yuè liàng liǎng gè chǐ cùn wǒ wèn shuǐ, tā shuō méi yǒu kǔ shuǐ, dōu shì tián shuǐ, qī chá hǎo hē zhe nǎ wǒ wèn fēng tǔ, tā nòng chéng guā fēng chén tǔ wǒ wèn mín fēng, tā shuō mì fēng bù duō, mǎ fēng bù shǎo, xiàng shǒu zhǐ cū xì, zhē rén kě tòng la, hái wèn wǒ āi guò méi yǒu zhè dōu shì shén me luàn qī bā zāo de! yào bú shì nà zhāng yín piào, tā béng shuō xiǎng dāng zhī fǔ, lián dòu fǔ wǒ yě ràng tā zuò bù chéng, hēng, qǐ yǒu cǐ lǐ!
xún fǔ běn xiǎng xùn chì tā jǐ jù, huà dào zuǐ biān ér yòu yàn huí qù le hái shì yín piào lì hài. xīn xiǎng: zài suí biàn wèn yī wèn, zhǎo gè tái jiē ér kuài ràng tā zǒu ba.
" guì xiàn, nǐ nà lǐ lǎo bǎi xìng hǎo bù hǎo?"
" lǎo bái xìng? bái xìng bù hǎo, tài suān. bēi zhí méi zhǎo zháo hǎo xìng, yǐ hòu zhǎo zháo, xià huí gěi nín dài liǎng kuāng lái."
zhè huí xún fǔ zhēn shēng qì la: nǎo dài hòu bian r de xiǎo biàn ér qì dé zhí huǎng yáo, téng! jiù zhàn qǐ lái la, yòng shǒu yī zhǐ qián rú mìng:" wǒ wèn de shì nǐ de xiǎo mín!"
qián rú mìng yě huāng máng zhàn qǐ lái le, bǎ tóu yī dī:
" huí dà shuài de huà. bēi zhí de xiǎo míng r jiào' èr gǒu zǐ'."
tā bǎ xiǎo míng r yě shuō chū lái la!
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