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Listen, there were objects so peculiar |
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They were not to be believed |
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All around, things to tantalize my brain |
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It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen |
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And as hard as I try |
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I can't seem to describe |
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Like a most improbable dream |
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But you must believe when I tell you this |
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It's as real as my skull and it does exist |
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Here, let me show you |
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This is a thing called a present |
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The whole thing starts with a box |
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[HARLEQUIN DEMON] |
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A box? |
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[DEVIL] |
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is it steel? |
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[WEREWOLF] |
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Are there locks? |
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[HARLEOUIN DEMON] |
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Is it filled with a pox? |
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[DEVIL, WEREWOLF, HARLEQUIN DEMON] |
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A pox |
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How delightful, a pox |
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[JACK] |
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If you please |
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Just a box with bright-colored paper |
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And the whole thing's topped with a bow |
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[WITCHES] |
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A bow? |
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But why? |
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How ugly |
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What's in it? |
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What's in it? |
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[JACK] |
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That's the point of the thing, not to know! |
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[CLOWN] |
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It's a bat |
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[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS] |
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Will it bend? |
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[CLOWN] |
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It's a rat! |
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[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS] |
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Will it break? |
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[MONSTER FROM THE BLACK LAGOON] |
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Perhaps it s the head that I found in the lake? |
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[JACK] |
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Listen now, you don't understand |
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That's not the point of Christmas land |
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Now, pay attention |
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Now we pick up an oversized sock |
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And hang it like this on the wall |
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[MR. HYDE] |
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Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot? |
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[MEDIUM MR. HYDE] |
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Let me see, let me look |
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[SMALL MR. HYDE] |
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Is it rotted and covered with gook? |
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[JACK] |
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Hmm, let me explain |
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There's no foot inside, but there's candy |
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Or sometimes it's filled with small toys |
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[MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON] |
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Small toys |
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[WINGED DEMON] |
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Do they bite? |
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[MUMMY] |
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Do they snap? |
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[WINGED DEMON] |
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Or explode in a sack? |
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[CORPSE KID] |
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Or perhaps they just spring out |
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And scare girls and boys |
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[MAYOR] |
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What a splendid idea |
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This Christmas sounds fun |
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Why, I fully endorse it |
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Let's try it at once |
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[JACK] |
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Everyone, please now, not so fast |
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There's something here that you don't quite grasp |
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Well, I may as well give them what they want |
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And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last |
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For the ruler of this Christmas land |
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Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice |
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Least that's what I've come to understand |
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And I've also heard it told |
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That he's something to behold |
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Like a lobster, huge and red |
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And sets out to slay with his rain gear on |
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Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms |
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That is, so I've heard it said |
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And on a dark, cold night |
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Under full moonlight |
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He flies into a fog |
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Like a vulture in the sky |
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And they call him Sandy Claws |
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Well, at least they're excited |
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Though they don't understand |
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That special kind of feeling in Christmas land |
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Oh, well... |
