| 哎呀，这人呢，听相声的人呢，都是心情愉快。可是这人呢，不可能永远不生气。啊，难免都有矛盾。孔子曰呀，“君子有容人之美，君子有成人之美！”得容人处且容人。 | |
| 走在街上，蹬鞋踩袜子啦！上汽车挤着啦！碰着啦！这没有吵架拌嘴的必要！往往啊，都是一时逞强，谁也不服谁，不能栽面儿！闹出事来自己也是后悔呀！ | |
| 早晨起来，正是上班的时候，大街上那是车水马龙。这个推着自行车，轧了那个脚一下儿，其实就是蹭了点儿泥，没轧重！要说道个歉就完了吧！这不言语，愣走！那个可不干啦！ | |
| “哎哎！说你啦哎！说你啦哎！怎么长的？大个子啊？推你妈车留点神！”这个也不含糊，“干吗！怎么地啦？” | |
| “怎么地啦？你轧我脚啦！” | |
| “轧你脚？活该！应当轧你嘴！我说你嘴里干净点儿！你骂街干吗？”“骂街？骂街这是好的！”“哎！那不好的能怎么着？你想干吗？告诉你呀！别要这套！”“我哪套？我哪套？哎！你这么说你别走，你别走！”“拽我车？拽我车我抽你信吗？”“咱俩派出所！你轧我脚啦！给我看去呀！”“派出所怎么着？派出所是你们家开的？走啊！”为这么点儿小事，这就归了派出所啦。 | |
| 真去啦。民警正办公呢，一瞧进来俩，气势汹汹啊。“你们两个怎么回事啊？怎么回事儿？” | |
| “同志！他弄车轧我脚，他还打人。” | |
| “你别听他的，别听他的啊！他那是胡吣，我没动手！” | |
| “你骑着自行车，你那车子有前后闸吗？” | |
| “有闸呀！我没骑呀！我都推着来着，蹭他脚面儿子一下儿，张嘴就骂街！” | |
| “车钥匙哪？搁下，拿出来。”车钥匙，扣下啦！ | |
| 民警啊，把笔拿起来啦，“你叫什么名字啊！”“我叫王德成。”“王德成？”登记上啦，“多大岁数？”“三十一。”“你哪个单位的？”“我煤气站的！”“家在哪儿住啊？”“丁字沽12号楼，4门301。”写上啦！“你，哎？你哪！” | |
| “我丁文元，”“什么？”“丁文元哪！” | |
| “多大？” | |
| “二十六啦！” | |
| “你有工作没有？你上班不上？” | |
| “我保全儿啊！”是个工厂的保全工。 | |
| “住哪儿啊？” | |
| “住南市，荣吉大街，瑞福里4号！”都写完啦！俩人坐下啦！ | |
| “你们俩打算怎么办呢？怎么解决呀？” | |
| “同志！你看他这横劲儿！告诉你呀，我不服这个，我不服啊！哎，今儿我就为斗斗他！” | |
| “行啊！玩儿玩儿吧！那么着，你呀，划出道儿来，随你点，我接你的，怎么样？” | |
| “我说你们俩还打呀，是怎么着？”民警给拦住了，“你看你们俩这态度，一个人一肚子火，这怎么谈呢？这样吧，你们两个先到里屋去坐一会儿吧！等等吧！所长来了看看怎么解决，啊，二位！请吧，里屋，请吧！” | |
| 俩人儿上里屋去了。其实所长就在那儿呢，他们俩不认识谁是所长啊！为什么不告诉他们呢？就为俩人在小屋里头这叫“蹲蹲性”，你不信这时候给分析谁对谁不对？绝对不服！出门儿还得打起来。这搁到小屋里头，不理他，也不问他，时间一长，就好办啦！ | |
| 这俩气气哼哼！到小屋里一看：哟嗬？是也没桌子，也没椅子。就有两条长凳子。一人一条，坐下啦！“别忙！过完堂再说！我跟你没完啊！跟你没完！你甭看我！今儿我让你认识认识！” | |
| “咳！嘿！就你这样的，我见得多啦！你甭咋唬啦？哎，呆会儿出去，我就让你知道知道！” | |
| “行啊，咱会会吧！”说着话还掏出棵烟卷儿来！点着啦，一边抽着一边运气。 | |
| 民警一拉门儿，“谁抽烟啦？谁抽烟？哎，把烟掐灭啦，掐灭啦！这屋不能抽烟。掐灭啦！” | |
| “好你啦！好你啦！”踩灭啦！ | |
| “同志！他弄车轧我脚他还打人。你看，快九点啦，我迟到啦！” | |
| “你先坐下！先坐下！等会儿，等会儿啊！”民警走了，把门儿又关上了。 | |
| 这个又坐下啦，“完的了吗？告诉你，轧我脚，给我看去！还得包我半天工资！”“你死不死啊你！你甭闹欢啊，这儿打得起来吗？动了手吗？呆会儿出去，我给你拿拿聋！我好好管管你！”“我踹不死你才怪的！”俩人这儿斗上嘴啦！ | |
| 烟是甭抽啦！也没有水喝，俩人坐那儿你看着我，我瞪着你，净等着过堂啦！没信儿。工夫一大了，这王德成可是坐不住啦！站起来了，往外探头儿，一看外屋里：上户口的，分户的，并户的，办准迁证的，打听事的，挺忙！没有解决这个问题的意思，看看表十点半啦，问问吧！“同志，我们俩这事儿，你看怎么给解决呀？”“哎呀，你没看我这儿忙着嘛！啊，你再等一会儿，呆会儿我叫你们。先歇会儿。” | |
| 又回来了，坐下啦！这倒好，到这时候，俩人都没话啦。 | |
| 又等了一个多钟头，再看表，十一点四十，快十二点啦，这丁文元受不了啦！年轻啊，饿啦！站起来，一推门儿，“同志！同志！咱这派出所中午不是给窝头嘛！”这工夫他想起窝头来啦！ | |
| “啊，窝头啊？没有没有！你这不是拘留，不是拘留，没有窝头！”“没有？没有你受累给买两套煎饼馃子行吗？”“这大忙忙的谁给你买去呀！我也没吃饭哪，再等会儿吧，再等会儿吧！”“我得等到几点？”“几点？下午两点吧，两点送你们去分局！”“啊？好嘛！”又回来了，又坐下了。这回好，俩人坐一条板凳上啦！亲热点儿啦！ | |
| “唉，完啦！下午两点上分局，这月奖钱算没啦！还一天旷工，倒霉嘛！” | |
| 那个说了，“你倒霉？我呢？我的老婆有病啊，请两天事假，合着今儿这一天嘛没干？下午上分局，不定嘛时候回来。其实我拿车碰你脚一下儿，我又不成心的？你要不骂街，何至于僵起来呢？” | |
| “你碰我脚一下，你客气客气不也就完了吗？何苦呢？上这儿呆半天儿。哎，那么着，咱跟他们商量商量：咱别分局啦！咱私了！怎么样？”“哎？对，到分局也不见得解决吗？为嘛呢，咱呢，就说咱俩认识！咱是盟兄弟！完啦！咱盟兄弟了，咱是逗着玩儿啊，也不车祸、也不打架，干吗上分局呀？对，私了蛮好！”“走咱说说去！”俩人一块儿，出来啦！ | |
| “同志！同志！” | |
| “哎，你们俩怎么出来啦？没叫你们哪！” | |
| “我们盟兄弟！”丁文元紧着说呀。 | |
| “什么，盟兄弟？” | |
| “同志，我跟你说：我们俩呀，本来认识。今儿早起来呀，是逗着玩儿，逗逗呢，急啦！上脸儿啦！上你这儿来给你添了麻烦！您看呢，咱怎么解决都行，咱别分局啦！算了吧！” | |
| “算啦？哎呀！这问题还没谈呢，怎么能算了呢？再说啦，你这脚轧得这么重，啊？你得医院看看呢，照个大相啊，轧的挺重啊！”“哎，不重，不重！不是他轧的！大概齐是我自个儿踩的！这一上午在这儿也活动开啦，挺好！没事儿啦！” | |
| “哦，不是他轧的？他没轧你脚，你怎么张嘴就骂街呢？你一个年轻人呢？这样不对！‘五讲四美’你没学过吗？” | |
| “哎，同志！我给证明一下啊，他没骂街，没骂街。他那叫‘口头语儿’！带出来的！我们俩相好啊，这不能算骂街！” | |
| “哦，他没骂街，你也没轧他脚！他也没骂街，你们俩上这儿干吗来啦？啊，你们这不无理取闹吗？你们知道无理取闹什么问题？” | |
| “同志，我跟你说，我们这不能算无理取闹啊，可是哪，我们也不对啦！对吧？下回我们改！主要的呢，我们是缺乏学习，今后呢，我一定要好好学习，是天天向上！”这都挨的上吗？ | |
| 民警说：“你们俩都多大啦！什么乱七八糟的！就这一回呀！以后再有这种情况，一定要严肃处理！签上字，写上名字都走吧！” | |
| “好你啦！好你啦！”赶紧写上，“丁文元”；那个写上“王德成”！ | |
| 写完啦，“麻烦你同志！你受累吧，您把那车钥匙给我！哎，好你啦，好你啦！我们走了啊？我们走啦！”走吧！书包别忘啦！”“带着啦，带着啦！” | |
| 俩人一块儿出来啦！ | |
| 到外边儿拿钥匙开车锁，回头还问那个：“怎么样？兄弟，还生我的气吗？”“哎，我叫嘛话呢？你得原谅我年轻嘛！”“那完啦，完啦！有工夫找我玩儿去！” | |
| “一定去！用嘛言语声！” | |
| “短不了麻烦，我走啦！” | |
| “上车走你的，回见，回见！” | |
| 这不吃饱撑的吗？ |
| ai ya, zhe ren ne, ting xiang sheng de ren ne, dou shi xin qing yu kuai. ke shi zhe ren ne, bu ke neng yong yuan bu sheng qi. a, nan mian dou you mao dun. kong zi yue ya," jun zi you rong ren zhi mei, jun zi you cheng ren zhi mei!" de rong ren chu qie rong ren. | |
| zou zai jie shang, deng xie cai wa zi la! shang qi che ji zhe la! peng zhe la! zhe mei you chao jia ban zui de bi yao! wang wang a, dou shi yi shi cheng qiang, shui ye bu fu shui, bu neng zai mian r! nao chu shi lai zi ji ye shi hou hui ya! | |
| zao chen qi lai, zheng shi shang ban de shi hou, da jie shang na shi che shui ma long. zhe ge tui zhe zi xing che, ya le na ge jiao yi xia er, qi shi jiu shi ceng le dian er ni, mei ya zhong! yao shuo dao ge qian jiu wan le ba! zhe bu yan yu, leng zou! na ge ke bu gan la! | |
| " ai ai! shuo ni la ai! shuo ni la ai! zen me zhang de? da ge zi a? tui ni ma che liu dian shen!" zhe ge ye bu han hu," gan ma! zen me di la?" | |
| " zen me di la? ni ya wo jiao la!" | |
| " ya ni jiao? huo gai! ying dang ya ni zui! wo shuo ni zui li gan jing dian er! ni ma jie gan ma?"" ma jie? ma jie zhe shi hao de!"" ai! na bu hao de neng zen me zhao? ni xiang gan ma? gao su ni ya! bie yao zhe tao!"" wo na tao? wo na tao? ai! ni zhe me shuo ni bie zou, ni bie zou!"" zhuai wo che? zhuai wo che wo chou ni xin ma?"" zan lia pai chu suo! ni ya wo jiao la! gei wo kan qu ya!"" pai chu suo zen me zhao? pai chu suo shi ni men jia kai de? zou a!" wei zhe me dian er xiao shi, zhe jiu gui le pai chu suo la. | |
| zhen qu la. min jing zheng ban gong ne, yi qiao jin lai lia, qi shi xiong xiong a." ni men liang ge zen me hui shi a? zen me hui shi er?" | |
| " tong zhi! ta nong che ya wo jiao, ta hai da ren." | |
| " ni bie ting ta de, bie ting ta de a! ta na shi hu qin, wo mei dong shou!" | |
| " ni qi zhe zi xing che, ni na che zi you qian hou zha ma?" | |
| " you zha ya! wo mei qi ya! wo dou tui zhe lai zhe, ceng ta jiao mian r zi yi xia er, zhang zui jiu ma jie!" | |
| " che yao shi na? ge xia, na chu lai." che yao shi, kou xia la! | |
| min jing a, ba bi na qi lai la," ni jiao shen me ming zi a!"" wo jiao wang de cheng."" wang de cheng?" deng ji shang la," duo da sui shu?"" san shi yi."" ni nei ge dan wei de?"" wo mei qi zhan de!"" jia zai na er zhu a?"" ding zi gu 12 hao lou, 4 men 301." xie shang la!" ni, ai? ni na!" | |
| " wo ding wen yuan,"" shen me?"" ding wen yuan na!" | |
| " duo da?" | |
| " er shi liu la!" | |
| " ni you gong zuo mei you? ni shang ban bu shang?" | |
| " wo bao quan er a!" shi ge gong chang de bao quan gong. | |
| " zhu na er a?" | |
| " zhu nan shi, rong ji da jie, rui fu li 4 hao!" dou xie wan la! lia ren zuo xia la! | |
| " ni men lia da suan zen me ban ne? zen me jie jue ya?" | |
| " tong zhi! ni kan ta zhe heng jin r! gao su ni ya, wo bu fu zhe ge, wo bu fu a! ai, jin er wo jiu wei dou dou ta!" | |
| " xing a! wan er wan er ba! na me zhao, ni ya, hua chu dao er lai, sui ni dian, wo jie ni de, zen me yang?" | |
| " wo shuo ni men lia hai da ya, shi zen me zhao?" min jing gei lan zhu le," ni kan ni men lia zhe tai du, yi ge ren yi du zi huo, zhe zen me tan ne? zhe yang ba, ni men liang ge xian dao li wu qu zuo yi hui er ba! deng deng ba! suo zhang lai le kan kan zen me jie jue, a, er wei! qing ba, li wu, qing ba!" | |
| lia ren er shang li wu qu le. qi shi suo zhang jiu zai na r ne, ta men lia bu ren shi shui shi suo zhang a! wei shi me bu gao su ta men ne? jiu wei lia ren zai xiao wu li tou zhe jiao" dun dun xing", ni bu xin zhe shi hou gei fen xi shui dui shui bu dui? jue dui bu fu! chu men er hai de da qi lai. zhe ge dao xiao wu li tou, bu li ta, ye bu wen ta, shi jian yi chang, jiu hao ban la! | |
| zhe lia qi qi heng heng! dao xiao wu li yi kan: yo he? shi ye mei zhuo zi, ye mei yi zi. jiu you liang tiao chang deng zi. yi ren yi tiao, zuo xia la!" bie mang! guo wan tang zai shuo! wo gen ni mei wan a! gen ni mei wan! ni beng kan wo! jin er wo rang ni ren shi ren shi!" | |
| " hai! hei! jiu ni zhe yang de, wo jian de duo la! ni beng za hu la? ai, dai hui r chu qu, wo jiu rang ni zhi dao zhi dao!" | |
| " xing a, zan hui hui ba!" shuo zhe hua hai tao chu ke yan juan er lai! dian zhao la, yi bian chou zhe yi bian yun qi. | |
| min jing yi la men er," shui chou yan la? shui chou yan? ai, ba yan qia mie la, qia mie la! zhe wu bu neng chou yan. qia mie la!" | |
| " hao ni la! hao ni la!" cai mie la! | |
| " tong zhi! ta nong che ya wo jiao ta hai da ren. ni kan, kuai jiu dian la, wo chi dao la!" | |
| " ni xian zuo xia! xian zuo xia! deng hui er, deng hui er a!" min jing zou le, ba men er you guan shang le. | |
| zhe ge you zuo xia la," wan de le ma? gao su ni, ya wo jiao, gei wo kan qu! hai de bao wo ban tian gong zi!"" ni si bu si a ni! ni beng nao huan a, zhe er da de qi lai ma? dong le shou ma? dai hui r chu qu, wo gei ni na na long! wo hao hao guan guan ni!"" wo chuai bu si ni cai guai de!" lia ren zhe er dou shang zui la! | |
| yan shi beng chou la! ye mei you shui he, lia ren zuo na er ni kan zhe wo, wo deng zhe ni, jing deng zhe guo tang la! mei xin er. gong fu yi da le, zhe wang de cheng ke shi zuo bu zhu la! zhan qi lai le, wang wai tan tou er, yi kan wai wu li: shang hu kou de, fen hu de, bing hu de, ban zhun qian zheng de, da ting shi de, ting mang! mei you jie jue zhe ge wen ti de yi si, kan kan biao shi dian ban la, wen wen ba!" tong zhi, wo men lia zhe shi er, ni kan zen me gei jie jue ya?"" ai ya, ni mei kan wo zhe er mang zhe ma! a, ni zai deng yi hui r, dai hui r wo jiao ni men. xian xie hui er." | |
| you hui lai le, zuo xia la! zhe dao hao, dao zhe shi hou, lia ren dou mei hua la. | |
| you deng le yi ge duo zhong tou, zai kan biao, shi yi dian si shi, kuai shi er dian la, zhe ding wen yuan shou bu liao la! nian qing a, e la! zhan qi lai, yi tui men er," tong zhi! tong zhi! zan zhe pai chu suo zhong wu bu shi gei wo tou ma!" zhe gong fu ta xiang qi wo tou lai la! | |
| " a, wo tou a? mei you mei you! ni zhe bu shi ju liu, bu shi ju liu, mei you wo tou!"" mei you? mei you ni shou lei gei mai liang tao jian bing guo zi xing ma?"" zhe da mang mang de shui gei ni mai qu ya! wo ye mei chi fan na, zai deng hui er ba, zai deng hui er ba!"" wo de deng dao ji dian?"" ji dian? xia wu liang dian ba, liang dian song ni men qu fen ju!"" a? hao ma!" you hui lai le, you zuo xia le. zhe hui hao, lia ren zuo yi tiao ban deng shang la! qin re dian er la! | |
| " ai, wan la! xia wu liang dian shang fen ju, zhe yue jiang qian suan mei la! hai yi tian kuang gong, dao mei ma!" | |
| na ge shuo le," ni dao mei? wo ne? wo de lao po you bing a, qing liang tian shi jia, he zhe jin er zhe yi tian ma mei gan? xia wu shang fen ju, bu ding ma shi hou hui lai. qi shi wo na che peng ni jiao yi xia er, wo you bu cheng xin de? ni yao bu ma jie, he zhi yu jiang qi lai ne?" | |
| " ni peng wo jiao yi xia, ni ke qi ke qi bu ye jiu wan le ma? he ku ne? shang zhe er dai ban tian r. ai, na me zhao, zan gen ta men shang liang shang liang: zan bie fen ju la! zan si le! zen me yang?"" ai? dui, dao fen ju ye bu jian de jie jue ma? wei ma ne, zan ne, jiu shuo zan lia ren shi! zan shi meng xiong di! wan la! zan meng xiong di le, zan shi dou zhe wan er a, ye bu che huo ye bu da jia, gan ma shang fen ju ya? dui, si le man hao!"" zou zan shuo shuo qu!" lia ren yi kuai er, chu lai la! | |
| " tong zhi! tong zhi!" | |
| " ai, ni men lia zen me chu lai la? mei jiao ni men na!" | |
| " wo men meng xiong di!" ding wen yuan jin zhe shuo ya. | |
| " shen me, meng xiong di?" | |
| " tong zhi, wo gen ni shuo: wo men lia ya, ben lai ren shi. jin er zao qi lai ya, shi dou zhe wan er, dou dou ne, ji la! shang lian er la! shang ni zhe er lai gei ni tian le ma fan! nin kan ne, zan zen me jie jue dou xing, zan bie fen ju la! suan le ba!" | |
| " suan la? ai ya! zhe wen ti hai mei tan ne, zen me neng suan le ne? zai shuo la, ni zhe jiao ya de zhe me zhong, a? ni de yi yuan kan kan ne, zhao ge da xiang a, ya de ting zhong a!"" ai, bu zhong, bu zhong! bu shi ta ya de! da gai qi shi wo zi ge er cai de! zhe yi shang wu zai zhe er ye huo dong kai la, ting hao! mei shi er la!" | |
| " o, bu shi ta ya de? ta mei ya ni jiao, ni zen me zhang zui jiu ma jie ne? ni yi ge nian qing ren ne? zhe yang bu dui!' wu jiang si mei' ni mei xue guo ma?" | |
| " ai, tong zhi! wo gei zheng ming yi xia a, ta mei ma jie, mei ma jie. ta na jiao' kou tou yu er'! dai chu lai de! wo men lia xiang hao a, zhe bu neng suan ma jie!" | |
| " o, ta mei ma jie, ni ye mei ya ta jiao! ta ye mei ma jie, ni men lia shang zhe er gan ma lai la? a, ni men zhe bu wu li qu nao ma? ni men zhi dao wu li qu nao shen me wen ti?" | |
| " tong zhi, wo gen ni shuo, wo men zhe bu neng suan wu li qu nao a, ke shi na, wo men ye bu dui la! dui ba? xia hui wo men gai! zhu yao de ne, wo men shi que fa xue xi, jin hou ne, wo yi ding yao hao hao xue xi, shi tian tian xiang shang!" zhe dou ai de shang ma? | |
| min jing shuo:" ni men lia dou duo da la! shen me luan qi ba zao de! jiu zhe yi hui ya! yi hou zai you zhe zhong qing kuang, yi ding yao yan su chu li! qian shang zi, xie shang ming zi dou zou ba!" | |
| " hao ni la! hao ni la!" gan jin xie shang," ding wen yuan" na ge xie shang" wang de cheng"! | |
| xie wan la," ma fan ni tong zhi! ni shou lei ba, nin ba na che yao shi gei wo! ai, hao ni la, hao ni la! wo men zou le a? wo men zou la!" zou ba! shu bao bie wang la!"" dai zhe la, dai zhe la!" | |
| lia ren yi kuai er chu lai la! | |
| dao wai bian r na yao shi kai che suo, hui tou hai wen na ge:" zen me yang? xiong di, hai sheng wo de qi ma?"" ai, wo jiao ma hua ne? ni de yuan liang wo nian qing ma!"" na wan la, wan la! you gong fu zhao wo wan er qu!" | |
| " yi ding qu! yong ma yan yu sheng!" | |
| " duan bu liao ma fan, wo zou la!" | |
| " shang che zou ni de, hui jian, hui jian!" | |
| zhe bu chi bao cheng de ma? |
| āi yā, zhè rén ne, tīng xiàng sheng de rén ne, dōu shì xīn qíng yú kuài. kě shì zhè rén ne, bù kě néng yǒng yuǎn bù shēng qì. a, nán miǎn dōu yǒu máo dùn. kǒng zǐ yuē ya," jūn zǐ yǒu róng rén zhī měi, jūn zǐ yǒu chéng rén zhī měi!" dé róng rén chù qiě róng rén. | |
| zǒu zài jiē shàng, dēng xié cǎi wà zi la! shàng qì chē jǐ zhe la! pèng zhe la! zhè méi yǒu chǎo jià bàn zuǐ de bì yào! wǎng wǎng a, dōu shì yī shí chěng qiáng, shuí yě bù fú shuí, bù néng zāi miàn r! nào chū shì lái zì jǐ yě shì hòu huǐ ya! | |
| zǎo chén qǐ lái, zhèng shì shàng bān de shí hòu, dà jiē shàng nà shi chē shuǐ mǎ lóng. zhè gè tuī zhe zì xíng chē, yà le nà gè jiǎo yī xià ér, qí shí jiù shì cèng le diǎn ér ní, méi yà zhòng! yào shuō dào gè qiàn jiù wán le ba! zhè bù yán yǔ, lèng zǒu! nà gè kě bù gàn la! | |
| " āi āi! shuō nǐ la āi! shuō nǐ la āi! zěn me zhǎng de? dà gè zi a? tuī nǐ mā chē liú diǎn shén!" zhè gè yě bù hán hu," gàn má! zěn me dì la?" | |
| " zěn me dì la? nǐ yà wǒ jiǎo la!" | |
| " yà nǐ jiǎo? huó gāi! yīng dāng yà nǐ zuǐ! wǒ shuō nǐ zuǐ lǐ gān jìng diǎn ér! nǐ mà jiē gàn má?"" mà jiē? mà jiē zhè shì hǎo de!"" āi! nà bù hǎo de néng zěn me zhāo? nǐ xiǎng gàn má? gào sù nǐ ya! bié yào zhè tào!"" wǒ nǎ tào? wǒ nǎ tào? āi! nǐ zhè me shuō nǐ bié zǒu, nǐ bié zǒu!"" zhuāi wǒ chē? zhuāi wǒ chē wǒ chōu nǐ xìn ma?"" zán liǎ pài chū suǒ! nǐ yà wǒ jiǎo la! gěi wǒ kàn qù ya!"" pài chū suǒ zěn me zhāo? pài chū suǒ shì nǐ men jiā kāi de? zǒu a!" wèi zhè me diǎn ér xiǎo shì, zhè jiù guī le pài chū suǒ la. | |
| zhēn qù la. mín jǐng zhèng bàn gōng ne, yī qiáo jìn lái liǎ, qì shì xiōng xiōng a." nǐ men liǎng gè zěn me huí shì a? zěn me huí shì ér?" | |
| " tóng zhì! tā nòng chē yà wǒ jiǎo, tā hái dǎ rén." | |
| " nǐ bié tīng tā de, bié tīng tā de a! tā nà shi hú qìn, wǒ méi dòng shǒu!" | |
| " nǐ qí zhe zì xíng chē, nǐ nà chē zi yǒu qián hòu zhá ma?" | |
| " yǒu zhá ya! wǒ méi qí ya! wǒ dōu tuī zhe lái zhe, cèng tā jiǎo miàn r zi yī xià ér, zhāng zuǐ jiù mà jiē!" | |
| " chē yào shi nǎ? gē xià, ná chū lái." chē yào shi, kòu xià la! | |
| mín jǐng a, bǎ bǐ ná qǐ lái la," nǐ jiào shén me míng zì a!"" wǒ jiào wáng dé chéng."" wáng dé chéng?" dēng jì shàng la," duō dà suì shù?"" sān shí yī."" nǐ něi gè dān wèi de?"" wǒ méi qì zhàn de!"" jiā zài nǎ ér zhù a?"" dīng zì gū 12 hào lóu, 4 mén 301." xiě shàng la!" nǐ, āi? nǐ nǎ!" | |
| " wǒ dīng wén yuán,"" shén me?"" dīng wén yuán nǎ!" | |
| " duō dà?" | |
| " èr shí liù la!" | |
| " nǐ yǒu gōng zuò méi yǒu? nǐ shàng bān bù shàng?" | |
| " wǒ bǎo quán ér a!" shì gè gōng chǎng de bǎo quán gōng. | |
| " zhù nǎ ér a?" | |
| " zhù nán shì, róng jí dà jiē, ruì fú lǐ 4 hào!" dōu xiě wán la! liǎ rén zuò xià la! | |
| " nǐ men liǎ dǎ suàn zěn me bàn ne? zěn me jiě jué ya?" | |
| " tóng zhì! nǐ kàn tā zhè héng jìn r! gào sù nǐ ya, wǒ bù fú zhè gè, wǒ bù fú a! āi, jīn ér wǒ jiù wèi dòu dòu tā!" | |
| " xíng a! wán ér wán ér ba! nà me zhāo, nǐ ya, huà chū dào ér lái, suí nǐ diǎn, wǒ jiē nǐ de, zěn me yàng?" | |
| " wǒ shuō nǐ men liǎ hái dǎ ya, shì zěn me zhāo?" mín jǐng gěi lán zhù le," nǐ kàn nǐ men liǎ zhè tài dù, yí ge rén yī dǔ zi huǒ, zhè zěn me tán ne? zhè yàng ba, nǐ men liǎng gè xiān dào lǐ wū qù zuò yī huì ér ba! děng děng ba! suǒ zhǎng lái le kàn kàn zěn me jiě jué, a, èr wèi! qǐng ba, lǐ wū, qǐng ba!" | |
| liǎ rén ér shàng lǐ wū qù le. qí shí suǒ zhǎng jiù zài na r ne, tā men liǎ bù rèn shi shuí shì suǒ zhǎng a! wèi shí me bù gào sù tā men ne? jiù wèi liǎ rén zài xiǎo wū lǐ tou zhè jiào" dūn dūn xìng", nǐ bù xìn zhè shí hòu gěi fēn xī shuí duì shuí bú duì? jué duì bù fú! chū mén ér hái dé dǎ qǐ lái. zhè gē dào xiǎo wū lǐ tou, bù lǐ tā, yě bù wèn tā, shí jiān yī cháng, jiù hǎo bàn la! | |
| zhè liǎ qì qì hēng hēng! dào xiǎo wū lǐ yī kàn: yō hē? shì yě méi zhuō zi, yě méi yǐ zi. jiù yǒu liǎng tiáo cháng dèng zi. yī rén yī tiáo, zuò xià la!" bié máng! guò wán táng zài shuō! wǒ gēn nǐ méi wán a! gēn nǐ méi wán! nǐ béng kàn wǒ! jīn ér wǒ ràng nǐ rèn shi rèn shi!" | |
| " hāi! hēi! jiù nǐ zhè yàng de, wǒ jiàn de duō la! nǐ béng zǎ hǔ la? āi, dāi huì r chū qù, wǒ jiù ràng nǐ zhī dào zhī dào!" | |
| " xíng a, zán huì huì ba!" shuō zhe huà hái tāo chū kē yān juàn ér lái! diǎn zháo la, yī biān chōu zhe yī biān yùn qì. | |
| mín jǐng yī lā mén ér," shuí chōu yān la? shuí chōu yān? āi, bǎ yān qiā miè la, qiā miè la! zhè wū bù néng chōu yān. qiā miè la!" | |
| " hǎo nǐ la! hǎo nǐ la!" cǎi miè la! | |
| " tóng zhì! tā nòng chē yà wǒ jiǎo tā hái dǎ rén. nǐ kàn, kuài jiǔ diǎn la, wǒ chí dào la!" | |
| " nǐ xiān zuò xià! xiān zuò xià! děng huì ér, děng huì ér a!" mín jǐng zǒu le, bǎ mén ér yòu guān shàng le. | |
| zhè gè yòu zuò xià la," wán de le ma? gào sù nǐ, yà wǒ jiǎo, gěi wǒ kàn qù! hái dé bāo wǒ bàn tiān gōng zī!"" nǐ sǐ bù sǐ a nǐ! nǐ béng nào huān a, zhè ér dǎ dé qǐ lái ma? dòng le shǒu ma? dāi huì r chū qù, wǒ gěi nǐ ná ná lóng! wǒ hǎo hǎo guǎn guǎn nǐ!"" wǒ chuài bù sǐ nǐ cái guài de!" liǎ rén zhè ér dòu shàng zuǐ la! | |
| yān shì béng chōu la! yě méi yǒu shuǐ hē, liǎ rén zuò nà ér nǐ kàn zhe wǒ, wǒ dèng zhe nǐ, jìng děng zhe guò táng la! méi xìn ér. gōng fū yī dà le, zhè wáng dé chéng kě shì zuò bú zhù la! zhàn qǐ lái le, wǎng wài tàn tou er, yī kàn wài wū lǐ: shàng hù kǒu de, fēn hù de, bìng hù de, bàn zhǔn qiān zhèng de, dǎ tīng shì de, tǐng máng! méi yǒu jiě jué zhè gè wèn tí de yì sī, kàn kàn biǎo shí diǎn bàn la, wèn wèn ba!" tóng zhì, wǒ men liǎ zhè shì ér, nǐ kàn zěn me gěi jiě jué ya?"" āi yā, nǐ méi kàn wǒ zhè ér máng zhe ma! a, nǐ zài děng yī huì r, dāi huì r wǒ jiào nǐ men. xiān xiē huì ér." | |
| yòu huí lái le, zuò xià la! zhè dǎo hǎo, dào zhè shí hòu, liǎ rén dōu méi huà la. | |
| yòu děng le yí gè duō zhōng tóu, zài kàn biǎo, shí yì diǎn sì shí, kuài shí èr diǎn la, zhè dīng wén yuán shòu bù liǎo la! nián qīng a, è la! zhàn qǐ lái, yī tuī mén ér," tóng zhì! tóng zhì! zán zhè pài chū suǒ zhōng wǔ bú shì gěi wō tóu ma!" zhè gōng fū tā xiǎng qǐ wō tóu lái la! | |
| " a, wō tóu a? méi yǒu méi yǒu! nǐ zhè bú shì jū liú, bú shì jū liú, méi yǒu wō tóu!"" méi yǒu? méi yǒu nǐ shòu lěi gěi mǎi liǎng tào jiān bǐng guǒ zǐ xíng ma?"" zhè dà máng máng de shuí gěi nǐ mǎi qù ya! wǒ yě méi chī fàn nǎ, zài děng huì ér ba, zài děng huì ér ba!"" wǒ dé děng dào jǐ diǎn?"" jǐ diǎn? xià wǔ liǎng diǎn ba, liǎng diǎn sòng nǐ men qù fēn jú!"" a? hǎo ma!" yòu huí lái le, yòu zuò xià le. zhè huí hǎo, liǎ rén zuò yī tiáo bǎn dèng shàng la! qīn rè diǎn ér la! | |
| " āi, wán la! xià wǔ liǎng diǎn shàng fèn jú, zhè yuè jiǎng qián suàn méi la! hái yì tiān kuàng gōng, dǎo méi ma!" | |
| nà gè shuō le," nǐ dǎo méi? wǒ ne? wǒ de lǎo pó yǒu bìng a, qǐng liǎng tiān shì jià, hé zhe jīn ér zhè yì tiān ma méi gàn? xià wǔ shàng fèn jú, bù dìng ma shí hòu huí lái. qí shí wǒ ná chē pèng nǐ jiǎo yī xià ér, wǒ yòu bù chéng xīn de? nǐ yào bù mà jiē, hé zhì yú jiāng qǐ lái ne?" | |
| " nǐ pèng wǒ jiǎo yī xià, nǐ kè qì kè qì bù yě jiù wán le ma? hé kǔ ne? shàng zhè ér dāi bàn tiān r. āi, nà me zhāo, zán gēn tā men shāng liáng shāng liáng: zán bié fēn jú la! zán sī le! zěn me yàng?"" āi? duì, dào fēn jú yě bú jiàn de jiě jué ma? wèi ma ne, zán ne, jiù shuō zán liǎ rèn shi! zán shì méng xiōng dì! wán la! zán méng xiōng dì le, zán shì dòu zhe wán ér a, yě bù chē huò yě bù dǎ jià, gàn má shàng fèn jú ya? duì, sī le mán hǎo!"" zǒu zán shuō shuō qù!" liǎ rén yí kuài ér, chū lái la! | |
| " tóng zhì! tóng zhì!" | |
| " āi, nǐ men liǎ zěn me chū lái la? méi jiào nǐ men nǎ!" | |
| " wǒ men méng xiōng dì!" dīng wén yuán jǐn zhe shuō ya. | |
| " shén me, méng xiōng dì?" | |
| " tóng zhì, wǒ gēn nǐ shuō: wǒ men liǎ ya, běn lái rèn shi. jīn ér zǎo qǐ lái ya, shì dòu zhe wán ér, dòu dòu ne, jí la! shàng liǎn ér la! shàng nǐ zhè ér lái gěi nǐ tiān le má fán! nín kàn ne, zán zěn me jiě jué dōu xíng, zán bié fēn jú la! suàn le ba!" | |
| " suàn la? āi yā! zhè wèn tí hái méi tán ne, zěn me néng suàn le ne? zài shuō la, nǐ zhè jiǎo yà de zhè me zhòng, a? nǐ dé yī yuàn kàn kàn ne, zhào gè dà xiāng a, yà de tǐng zhòng a!"" āi, bù zhòng, bù zhòng! bú shì tā yà de! dà gài qí shì wǒ zì gě ér cǎi de! zhè yī shàng wǔ zài zhè ér yě huó dòng kāi la, tǐng hǎo! méi shì ér la!" | |
| " ó, bú shì tā yà de? tā méi yà nǐ jiǎo, nǐ zěn me zhāng zuǐ jiù mà jiē ne? nǐ yí gè nián qīng rén ne? zhè yàng bú duì!' wǔ jiǎng sì měi' nǐ méi xué guò ma?" | |
| " āi, tóng zhì! wǒ gěi zhèng míng yī xià a, tā méi mà jiē, méi mà jiē. tā nà jiào' kǒu tóu yǔ ér'! dài chū lái de! wǒ men liǎ xiāng hǎo a, zhè bù néng suàn mà jiē!" | |
| " ó, tā méi mà jiē, nǐ yě méi yà tā jiǎo! tā yě méi mà jiē, nǐ men liǎ shàng zhè ér gàn má lái la? a, nǐ men zhè bù wú lǐ qǔ nào ma? nǐ men zhī dào wú lǐ qǔ nào shén me wèn tí?" | |
| " tóng zhì, wǒ gēn nǐ shuō, wǒ men zhè bù néng suàn wú lǐ qǔ nào a, kě shì nǎ, wǒ men yě bú duì la! duì ba? xià huí wǒ men gǎi! zhǔ yào de ne, wǒ men shì quē fá xué xí, jīn hòu ne, wǒ yí dìng yāo hǎo hào xué xí, shì tiān tiān xiàng shàng!" zhè dōu āi de shàng ma? | |
| mín jǐng shuō:" nǐ men liǎ dōu duō dà la! shén me luàn qī bā zāo de! jiù zhè yī huí ya! yǐ hòu zài yǒu zhè zhǒng qíng kuàng, yí dìng yào yán sù chǔ lǐ! qiān shàng zì, xiě shàng míng zì dōu zǒu ba!" | |
| " hǎo nǐ la! hǎo nǐ la!" gǎn jǐn xiě shàng," dīng wén yuán" nà gè xiě shàng" wáng dé chéng"! | |
| xiě wán la," má fán nǐ tóng zhì! nǐ shòu lěi ba, nín bǎ nà chē yào shi gěi wǒ! āi, hǎo nǐ la, hǎo nǐ la! wǒ men zǒu le a? wǒ men zǒu la!" zǒu ba! shū bāo bié wàng la!"" dài zhe la, dài zhe la!" | |
| liǎ rén yí kuài ér chū lái la! | |
| dào wài bian r ná yào shi kāi chē suǒ, huí tóu hái wèn nà gè:" zěn me yàng? xiōng dì, hái shēng wǒ de qì ma?"" āi, wǒ jiào ma huà ne? nǐ dé yuán liàng wǒ nián qīng ma!"" nà wán la, wán la! yǒu gōng fū zhǎo wǒ wán ér qù!" | |
| " yí dìng qù! yòng ma yán yǔ shēng!" | |
| " duǎn bù liǎo má fán, wǒ zǒu la!" | |
| " shàng chē zǒu nǐ de, huí jiàn, huí jiàn!" | |
| zhè bù chī bǎo chēng de ma? |
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