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In a nightmare, I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you. |
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You're asleep, I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up. |
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And like before, you've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake. |
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Your dreams still follow storylines, like fictions you would make. |
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So I lie down against your back, until we're both back in the hospital. |
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But now it's not a cancer ward, we're sleeping in the morgue. |
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Men and women in blue and white, they are singing all around you, |
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with heavy shovels holding earth. |
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You're being buried to you neck. |
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In that hospital bed, being buried quite alive now. |
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I'm trying to dig you out but all you want is to be buried there together. |
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You're screaming, |
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and cursing, |
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and angry, |
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and hurting me, |
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and then smiling, |
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and crying, |
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apologizing. |
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I've woken up, I'm in our bed, but there's no breathing body there beside me. |
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Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep. |
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But I know better as my eyes adjust. |
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You've been gone for quite awhile now, and I don't work there in the hospital |
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(they had to let me go.) |
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When I try to move my arms sometimes, they weigh too much to lift. |
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I think you buried me awake (my one and only parting gift.) |
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But you return to me at night, |
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just when I think I may have fallen asleep. |
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Your face is up against mine, |
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and I'm too terrified to speak. |
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You're screaming, |
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and cursing, |
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and angry, |
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and hurting me, |
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and then smiling, |
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and crying, |
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apologizing. |
