| 歌曲 | Letters Sent |
| 歌手 | Half Man Half Biscuit |
| 专辑 | Achtung Bono |
| Keeper you’ve just made a decent save | |
| So why d’you feel the need to rant and rave | |
| Screaming at defenders | |
| Makes you look dead stupid | |
| Especially when they haven’t done much wrong | |
| Please cease the trait | |
| Thank you to whoever found my purse | |
| Also when I fell, the passing nurse | |
| And when in my coma | |
| As I tried to bludgeon | |
| Chartist demonstrators in the square | |
| Those on the ward | |
| Yours, much restored | |
| I disagree entirely with your choice | |
| Peetie Wheatstraw had a better voice | |
| I’d like to warn your readers | |
| Stapeley Water Gardens | |
| A nice day out but best to take a flask | |
| Dear Miss McVey | |
| It pains me to say | |
| The school choir was dull | |
| And the blame lies with you | |
| Sewage farm an absolute disgrace | |
| Picnic table somewhat out of place | |
| Leisure centre cashpoint | |
| Always out of order | |
| And there’s too much chlorine in the pool | |
| Thirteen across | |
| Where was the clue? | |
| Bird on the wire | |
| Len, you’re the dogs’ |
| Keeper you' ve just made a decent save | |
| So why d' you feel the need to rant and rave | |
| Screaming at defenders | |
| Makes you look dead stupid | |
| Especially when they haven' t done much wrong | |
| Please cease the trait | |
| Thank you to whoever found my purse | |
| Also when I fell, the passing nurse | |
| And when in my coma | |
| As I tried to bludgeon | |
| Chartist demonstrators in the square | |
| Those on the ward | |
| Yours, much restored | |
| I disagree entirely with your choice | |
| Peetie Wheatstraw had a better voice | |
| I' d like to warn your readers | |
| Stapeley Water Gardens | |
| A nice day out but best to take a flask | |
| Dear Miss McVey | |
| It pains me to say | |
| The school choir was dull | |
| And the blame lies with you | |
| Sewage farm an absolute disgrace | |
| Picnic table somewhat out of place | |
| Leisure centre cashpoint | |
| Always out of order | |
| And there' s too much chlorine in the pool | |
| Thirteen across | |
| Where was the clue? | |
| Bird on the wire | |
| Len, you' re the dogs' |