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Fly in the ointment |
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Stain on the character |
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Dust on the wainscot |
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Hair on the gate |
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Bee in the bonnet |
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Ash on the waistcoat |
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Flake on the shoulder |
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Crack in the plate |
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Eye on the clock |
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Bat in the belfry |
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Head in the sand |
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Kick up the arse |
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Smudge on the collar |
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Hands in the paint |
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Flea in the ear |
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Snake in the grass |
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I though that you love me |
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'Cos that's what you said |
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Climb on the table |
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Pat on the bed |
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The further you love me |
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You were taking the piss-tic |
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Out of the frying pan |
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Into the mystic |
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Rock in the carpet |
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Gap in the market |
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The open umbrella |
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But wait in the hall |
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An old bit of gum |
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With nowhere to park it |
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Soldier of fortune |
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Ear on the wall |
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I thought that you loved me |
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Cos that's how I felt |
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Kick in the bollocks |
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Under the belt |
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I thought that you loved me |
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Now I know I'm a prune |
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I wish through the window |
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(this line is so mumbled I doubt he knows what he said) |
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Knot in the hanky |
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Rat on the landing |
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Little bit hanging |
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Pain in the bum |
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Mind your own business |
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Only one standing |
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Wrong side of the bed |
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Terrible hum |
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I thought that you loved me |
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Cos that's what you said |
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Grub on the table |
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Hat on the bed |
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I thought that you loved me |
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You were taking the piss-tic |
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Out of the frying pan |
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Into the mystic |
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(note: the noises in the last verse and chorus are just him making |
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Rolf Harris type noises, he doesn't actually say any proper words) |