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[Yo why you diss me?] |
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[A big dick!] |
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[Nurse! Nurse!] |
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Ffff-fuck.. (My dick!) My nuts.. |
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My attitude is worse than NWAs was |
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Ill battle you over stupid shit and diss people |
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who aint have shit to do with it, |
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like Cool J does (My tattoo!) |
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You see me standin outside of your buildin; |
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screamin, |
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"Puffy is good, (HEY!) |
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but Slim Shady is for the children!" (WAIT!) |
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I look at my life in a new light |
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fuck it |
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Give me two mics; I write songs for me |
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fuck what you like |
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Youre probably hear me rap half-hearted; |
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cause I dont like rap anyway |
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Im just tryin to get my porno career started |
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Every place and event.. +Been There, Done That+ |
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Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went (* zipper sound *) "Come on, lets go!" |
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Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters |
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Lesson One: Throw demos as hard |
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as you can at signed rappers |
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Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?) |
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Dont give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me) |
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and make em come to your basement and listen (youre gonna fuckin check this out) |
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Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; |
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switch demos with Canibus |
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and put yours on the owners table (here listen!) |
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Lesson Four: Know you heard this before |
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"Hey let me get your number; |
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Ill call you tomorrow, for sure!" |
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Dont act like a fan -- you wanna get signed? |
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Get the whitest A&R you can find |
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Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can |
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Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive |
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Dress up like I.C.P. |
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and have them come see you perform live |
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And thats the key, but when you see me on the street; |
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I aint givin you shit bitch |
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dont even bother askin me (get away from me) |
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Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when Im spittin |
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cause Im always shittin when |
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Im rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!) |
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Got a blowjob from Paula Jones, |
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and stuffed it so far in her mouth |
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my balls broke both of her collarbones (OWW!) |
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Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah ("Its all about me..") |
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Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, |
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mono and gonorrhea ("Youre a dick!") |
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And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA |
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Cause Brandy and Monica walked in |
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and caught me fuckin Aaliyah(What? Oh my God!) |
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I splish splash while Im takin a bath |
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Grab a handful of pills, |
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break em in half, |
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take em and laugh |
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White trash |
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fuckin your wife in the ass ("Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!") |
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While youre out siphoning gas |
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for your lawnmower to cut the grass |
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So if I hurt your self-esteem |
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and you get dissed too bad |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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"I cant listen to that song, that shits too sad!" |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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"Hell never make it, his wrist is slit too bad!" |
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You know I just be sayin that to get you mad |
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What a wonderful day; |
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I should go outside and play |
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Aint no need to sit inside the house and hibernate |
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Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) |
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I was just about to toss a live grenade |
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in your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (* car peels out *) |
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Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS |
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Blood drippin from it, |
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rippi |