歌曲 | Kenesaw Mountain Landis |
歌手 | Jonathan Coulton |
专辑 | Smoking Monkey |
作曲 : Coulton | |
Kenesaw Mountain Landis was a bad mother fucker | |
He was seventeen feet tall, he had a hundred and fifty wives | |
He didn't do that much except he saved the game of baseball | |
He put two and two together and he noticed it was four | |
Now the treachery of Shoeless Joe can't hurt us anymore | |
And he'll always be remembered as Kenesaw Mountain Landis | |
Fellow named Joe Jackson was a fielder for the Black Sox | |
And he always wore his black socks, but he never wore no shoes | |
He weren't the nicest fellow and he had a couple problems | |
Cause he drank a lot and he beat his wife and he always acted rude | |
He killed and ate some babies and he copped an attitude | |
And the one man that he hated most was Kenesaw Mountain Landis | |
The mafia said Shoeless Joe | |
You should really run this show | |
You should be the guy who owns baseball | |
And all you really gotta do | |
Is help us make a buck or two | |
We'll bet on the other team | |
You'll lose the game but make it seem | |
Like nothing could be further from the truth | |
Shoeless Joe did what they said he dropped a couple fly balls | |
And he walked up to the pitcher and he poked him in the eye | |
And in the seventh inning with the Black Sox nearly beaten | |
There was someone who was watching from his blimp above the stands | |
Cradling a rifle in his thick and meaty hands | |
And as if you hadn't guessed yet it was Kenesaw Mountain Landis | |
Kenesaw said drop that glove | |
Or I swear by God above | |
I'll make you regret playing baseball | |
And Shoeless Joe looked up and saw | |
The silver rifle's gaping maw | |
And though no one had noticed yet | |
His underwear was getting wet | |
He peed himself in front of everyone | |
Shoeless Joe was finished but he couldn't quite admit it | |
So he raised his middle finger up above the other four | |
And Kenesaw took careful aim and fired a single bullet | |
And he shot that dirty finger off and he dropped his trusty gun | |
And everybody in the stands knew that he had won | |
And today they still refer to him as Kenesaw Mountain Landis | |
Shoeless Joe left baseball and became a famous pop star | |
And he asked the musical question is she really going out with him | |
He had a couple albums and a comeback in the 80's | |
But he never won a Grammy and he never was the same | |
And he never could be satisfied with critical acclaim | |
Cause the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello | |
Yes the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello |
zuò qǔ : Coulton | |
Kenesaw Mountain Landis was a bad mother fucker | |
He was seventeen feet tall, he had a hundred and fifty wives | |
He didn' t do that much except he saved the game of baseball | |
He put two and two together and he noticed it was four | |
Now the treachery of Shoeless Joe can' t hurt us anymore | |
And he' ll always be remembered as Kenesaw Mountain Landis | |
Fellow named Joe Jackson was a fielder for the Black Sox | |
And he always wore his black socks, but he never wore no shoes | |
He weren' t the nicest fellow and he had a couple problems | |
Cause he drank a lot and he beat his wife and he always acted rude | |
He killed and ate some babies and he copped an attitude | |
And the one man that he hated most was Kenesaw Mountain Landis | |
The mafia said Shoeless Joe | |
You should really run this show | |
You should be the guy who owns baseball | |
And all you really gotta do | |
Is help us make a buck or two | |
We' ll bet on the other team | |
You' ll lose the game but make it seem | |
Like nothing could be further from the truth | |
Shoeless Joe did what they said he dropped a couple fly balls | |
And he walked up to the pitcher and he poked him in the eye | |
And in the seventh inning with the Black Sox nearly beaten | |
There was someone who was watching from his blimp above the stands | |
Cradling a rifle in his thick and meaty hands | |
And as if you hadn' t guessed yet it was Kenesaw Mountain Landis | |
Kenesaw said drop that glove | |
Or I swear by God above | |
I' ll make you regret playing baseball | |
And Shoeless Joe looked up and saw | |
The silver rifle' s gaping maw | |
And though no one had noticed yet | |
His underwear was getting wet | |
He peed himself in front of everyone | |
Shoeless Joe was finished but he couldn' t quite admit it | |
So he raised his middle finger up above the other four | |
And Kenesaw took careful aim and fired a single bullet | |
And he shot that dirty finger off and he dropped his trusty gun | |
And everybody in the stands knew that he had won | |
And today they still refer to him as Kenesaw Mountain Landis | |
Shoeless Joe left baseball and became a famous pop star | |
And he asked the musical question is she really going out with him | |
He had a couple albums and a comeback in the 80' s | |
But he never won a Grammy and he never was the same | |
And he never could be satisfied with critical acclaim | |
Cause the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello | |
Yes the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello |