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ACTION |
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Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke, |
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You gotta understand, |
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It's just our bringin' up-ke |
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That gets us out of hand. |
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Our mothers all are junkies, |
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Our fathers all are drunks. |
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Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks! |
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ACTION AND JETS |
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Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset; |
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We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get. |
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We ain't no delinquents, |
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We're misunderstood. |
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Deep down inside us there is good! |
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ACTION |
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There is good! |
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ALL |
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There is good, there is good, |
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There is untapped good! |
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Like inside, the worst of us is good! |
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SNOWBOY: (Spoken) That's a touchin' good story. |
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ACTION: (Spoken) Lemme tell it to the world! |
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SNOWBOY: Just tell it to the judge. |
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ACTION |
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Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, |
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My parents treat me rough. |
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With all their marijuana, |
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They won't give me a puff. |
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They didn't wanna have me, |
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But somehow I was had. |
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Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad! |
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DIESEL: (As Judge) Right! |
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Officer Krupke, you're really a square; |
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This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! |
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It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. |
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He's psychologic'ly disturbed! |
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ACTION |
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I'm disturbed! |
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JETS |
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We're disturbed, we're disturbed, |
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We're the most disturbed, |
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Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed. |
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DIESEL: (Spoken, as Judge) In the opinion on this court, |
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this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home. |
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ACTION: (Spoken) Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived. |
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DIESEL: So take him to a headshrinker. |
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ACTION (Sings) |
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My father is a bastard, |
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My ma's an S.O.B. |
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My grandpa's always plastered, |
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My grandma pushes tea. |
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My sister wears a mustache, |
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My brother wears a dress. |
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Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! |
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A-RAB: (As Psychiatrist) Yes! |
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Officer Krupke, you're really a slob. |
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This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job. |
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Society's played him a terrible trick, |
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And sociologic'ly he's sick! |
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ACTION |
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I am sick! |
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ALL |
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We are sick, we are sick, |
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We are sick, sick, sick, |
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Like we're sociologically sick! |
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A-RAB: In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. |
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Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease! |
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ACTION: Hey, I got a social disease! |
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A-RAB: So take him to a social worker! |
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ACTION |
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Dear kindly social worker, |
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They say go earn a buck. |
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Like be a soda jerker, |
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Which means like be a schumck. |
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It's not I'm anti-social, |
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I'm only anti-work. |
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Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk! |
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BABY JOHN: (As Female Social Worker) |
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Eek! |
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Officer Krupke, you've done it again. |
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This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen. |
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It ain't just a question of misunderstood; |
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Deep down inside him, he's no good! |
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ACTION |
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I'm no good! |
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ALL |
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We're no good, we're no good! |
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We're no earthly good, |
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Like the best of us is no damn good! |
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DIESEL (As Judge) |
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The trouble is he's crazy. |
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A-RAB (As Psychiatrist) |
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The trouble is he drinks. |
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BABY JOHN (As Female Social Worker) |
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The trouble is he's lazy. |
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DIESEL |
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The trouble is he stinks. |
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A-RAB |
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The trouble is he's growing. |
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BABY JOHN |
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The trouble is he's grown. |
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ALL |
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Krupke, we got troubles of our own! |
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Gee, Officer Krupke, |
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We're down on our knees, |
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'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease. |
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Gee, Officer Krupke, |
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What are we to do? |
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Gee, Officer Krupke, |
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Krup you! |