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zuò qǔ : Francis |
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I' ve got some letters inside of my drawer that should have been stamped and delivered |
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One is addressed to my ex it says |
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I' m the type of kid who can' t be lived with |
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One is addressed to my friends it says |
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I' m a mess so y' all can' t visit |
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One is addressed to myself but |
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I don' t know what personality or hand to give it |
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I' m a God damn misfit... mismatched, but never missed much |
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Mr Righttimewrongplace with a long face until our lips touch |
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I don' t miss the mistrust, its what got our messages mixed up |
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Before I rip up your letters let us see if |
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I can tear you away from his clutch |
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This stuff' s a whole other drawer from a different dresser |
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I' m not ready to address |
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I went to the west to get my mind off things and |
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I' m already depressed |
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I give up. |
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Get let down. |
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Down play. |
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Play games. |
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Put on my game face |
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Face my pharmecudial needs and feed on my medicine, but |
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I don' t like the way it tastes |
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I go place to place without enough money to put a bed under me |
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So I share my sleeping space with rodents, insects, and dust bunnies |
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I laugh at the mess |
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I' ve created for myself until it gets unfunny |
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But I' m content in the fact that they don' t expect respect, sex, love, or trust from me |
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When I' m hungry |
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I can taste it |
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I hide in the basement |
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Check up on me every now and then |
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Because my mood swings low... and |
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I can feel myself going down again |
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Falling off is easy. |
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Getting put on takes a bit of ass kissing |
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I' d rather listen to myself flop on the ground than hear the sound of a mattress spring |
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I rap and sing and talk and write and often type with 2 fingers |
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The " hunt and kill" method |
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I edit one third of a word per second |
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Your emails sit in my unsent box. |
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If you' re a girl that |
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I miss You' ll eventually get my virtual good bye kiss |
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The rest are addressed to my friends and the subject line is " Just check this fine bitch" |
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And the one for myself is untitled but... its the same virus |
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My wrists get slit on your shoulder blades when |
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I lose my grip while |
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I hold your face |
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Let it drip on your golden laced silver slip... spilling all over the place |
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I' d lay my jacket over the blood puddle when we' d go on dates to prove that |
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I' m a gentleman, peddling my bike at a slower pace " The sum of the parts doesn' t equal the whole," she states |
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Before my parents get home |
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I' ll take time to find the fragments of our relationship and glue back together this broken vase. |
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Falling in love is easy. |
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Falling out of love takes a bit of practice |
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I' m good at both without even owning a mattress |
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I never asked for a kiss without deserving one. |
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If you never saw me cry before wait for the next time |
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I wake up on the wrong side of the floor |
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I' ve got some letters inside of my drawer that should have been sent by now |
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Sealed in an envelope |
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One is addressed to my ex and it says that |
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I feel our friendship' s a joke |
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One is addressed to my friend and it says his exgirlfriend' s on coke |
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And one is addressed to myself on a personal note |
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Unopened... filled with endless quotes |
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Whenever I spoke, they' d close me in and bust my lip |
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Now I wear parenthesis on my temples, step to the podium and just think |
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Whenever lonely |
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I shrink... hold myself... squeezing tight |
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Before I sprawl out on the hardwood floor and kiss myself to sleep at night |
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I have dreams of flight, but |
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I' m not floating |
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The ground is approaching awfully quick |
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So I wake up screaming for you to catch me |
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That' s what |
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I start every day off with |
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I may talk shit, but there ain' t much else to do in this prison cell |
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And lucky for me no one listens well... especially when |
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I dis myself |
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I' ll fly away on a pig when my living hell freezes over |
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And since |
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I' m used to the cold |
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I' ll be able to rest my head on |
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Jesus' shoulder |
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Explanations are in order for why these floor boards are always freezing |
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I guess it' ll all make sense once we get older and reach the |
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Age of Reason |
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Until then, |
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I' ll have no reason to sleep in. |
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Not even on weekends |
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Unless we' re together, because my will power will probably weaken |
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Deepen my appreciation for the current condition because |
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I' m sick of always feeling like something is missing. |
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I slumber in one position. |
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Crouched up an fetal like. |
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And the couch sucks cuz my feet are like... given no space to breathe while |
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I embrace my knees |
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So its off to the floor because |
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I can' t sleep anywhere else |
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That' s where |
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I write these letters to all of y' all but never send ' em |
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It' s better to just keep to myself |
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Its better to just keep to myself |
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Its better to just keep to myself |