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The other day, I took a walk |
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Because the air was sweet. |
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And I passed the crusty house |
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Of the curmudgeon on my street. |
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Now, every town has got one |
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So I'm sure you'll understand |
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When I tell you this old bastard |
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Is a mean and bitter man. |
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Now, this day, it was special, |
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I was wearing my new hat |
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The old curmudgeon saw this |
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And he disapproved of that. He said: |
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"I've had one just like that |
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For ten years, you ripped me off! |
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You've got no right to wear a hat |
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Like mine, so take it off!" |
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As it happens, I'm a gentleman |
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So I approached his porch. |
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I told him; "Great minds think alike, |
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And you have one, of course. |
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So how 'bout I just tip my hat to you |
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When I come through?" |
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He reached down for his gun and said |
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"I'll shoot you if you do!" |
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And I said: "No one's gonna cry at your funeral. |
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No one's gonna drink at your wake. |
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye. |
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'Cause no one's gonna miss you when you're dead." |
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Well, the next day I forgot |
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This whole damned mess |
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And went to town. And there I saw |
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A hundred or so posters all around |
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And on them was my face, |
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And I was wearing my new hat |
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And they read: "This guy ripped me off, |
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I've got one just like that!" |
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I took a walk down to his house |
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To see if I could find |
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A way to show him |
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That we're kindred spirits of the mind. |
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I told him "I didn't make these hats, |
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Nor did you, of course. |
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And hey, we both love Johnny Cash..." |
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He said "Get off my porch!" |
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And I said: "No one's gonna cry at your funeral. |
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No one's gonna drink at your wake. |
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye. |
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'Cause no one's gonna miss you when you're dead." |
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When you look back on your life, what will you see? |
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Did you spend your time mending fences or planting mines? |
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There's no shortage of potential enemies, so don't |
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Waste so much time pushing away your kind. |
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I thought, I must be stupid, |
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Or just crazy from the heat. |
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When I went down to the house |
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Of that curmudgeon on my street. |
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Maybe it was foolish |
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To go too his house again. |
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Just to show this crazy drunken fool |
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He had a friend. |
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When I got there, |
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Much to my surprise, he wasn't there. |
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He was gone, as was his shotgun |
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And his rocking chair. |
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I asked the neighbour-lady, |
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Who was lying on her lawn: |
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"What happened to that mean old man?" |
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She shrugged, and that was all. |
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No one's gonna cry at your funeral. |
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No one's gonna drink at your wake. |
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No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye. |
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'Cause no one's gonna miss you. |
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Hell, no one's gonna notice. |
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And I'll enjoy the silence... |
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When you're dead! |