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Step right up |
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We bring to you the finest entertainment |
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And I am pleased to be your humble servant |
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Accept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality |
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Step right up |
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We've something here for everyone's enjoyment |
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I do this as a gift, not for employment |
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A portrait of insanity, approached with pure humanity |
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Come see our girls, crazy girls |
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If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride |
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Those girls, crazy girls |
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They're hot |
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They're nuts |
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They're suicidal |
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Tickets cheap, it's a crime |
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And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime |
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To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time |
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Come see the girls, girls, girls |
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Some of them are really quite attractive as you see |
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Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree |
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While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me |
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But you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule |
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You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye |
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And that one, let's just keep walking by |
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These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply |
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Grab another cup of tea, and follow me |
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To see our girls, crazy girls |
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If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride |
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Those girls, crazy girls |
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They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal |
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Tickets cheap, it's a crime |
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And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime |
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To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time |
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Come see the girls, girls, girls |
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Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide |
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For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide. |
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Quiet down! You sir |
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If insanity's primarily a femininish malady, |
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And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact, |
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Then according to the medics, have they faultier genetics? |
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Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract? |
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It has all to do with reproductive organs |
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Which are naturally unstable in a dame |
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You see from lunar, we have, lunacy and lunatic and loony |
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And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moon |
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I have a question |
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Has any patient ever been released |
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Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease? |
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For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce |
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So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose |
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Come see the girls, crazy girls |
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If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride |
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Those girls, crazy girls |
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They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal |
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Tickets cheap, it's a crime |
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And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime |
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To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time |
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Come see the girls, girls, girls |
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Some are born mad |
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Some achieve madness |
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Some have madness thrust upon them |
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This is the real thing my friends, 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill |
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Accept no imitations |
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For a little extra on the side, you can arrange |
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For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink |
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For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates |
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We've got pills for depression, obsession, aggression, possession, indiscretion, |
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But there's a bloody pill for everything these days |
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How big is a lady's brain? |
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It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain |
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This seems just a bit inhumane |
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That's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain |
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They're really more like animals than people |
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Which has been proven haven't any souls at all. |
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The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior |
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And these are only useful in a seedy music hall |
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They don't bite, well they might |
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I say this one does look hungry tonight |
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So get your picture with an inmate |
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But be sure she's locked up tight |
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They're practically wild sir |
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Protect your child sir |
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They don't recall the taste of freedom |
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They're just happy if we feed them |
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So point and laugh, it isn't bad |
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They oughtn't mind because they're mad! |
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If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls |
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You're welcome to enjoy |
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Our girls, crazy girls |
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If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride |
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Those girls, crazy girls |
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They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal |
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Tickets cheap, it's a crime |
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And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime |
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To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time |
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I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme |
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So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut |
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Your corsets tight, your morals high |
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Your knitting neat, your yappers shut |
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This is what comes of over-educating, |
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mentally over-stimulating, |
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too much serious conversating, |
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organized religion-hating, |
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sinful over-copulating, |
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marriage without pro-creating, |
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girl-on-girl caught lesbiating, |
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she was caught while masturbating, |
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they all mind manipulating, |
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chronically hallucinating, |
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certainly there's no debating, |
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some we just find fascinating, |
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women's rights facilitating, |
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independent thought creating, |
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she may just be complicating, |
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get your money out we're waiting |
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To see those |
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Girls! |
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Girls! |
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Girls! |
