| [00:00.00] |
Troy McClure:In our final spin-off tonight, |
| [00:02.13] |
the Simpson family finally gets the chance to show off the full range of their talents. |
| [00:06.94] |
Unfortunately, one family member didn't want that chance and refused to participate. |
| [00:11.45] |
But thanks to some creative casting, you won't even notice. |
| [00:15.15] |
Show us what you got, TV! |
| [00:17.88] |
Kent Brockman:Live from Radio City Music Room in downtown Springfield, |
| [00:22.60] |
it's The Simpsons Family Smile-Time Variety Hour! |
| [00:26.88] |
Featuring the Waylon Smithers Dancers and the Springfield Baggy Pants Players! |
| [00:32.83] |
And now, a family that doesn't know the meaning of the word "cancelled": The Simpsons! |
| [00:40.29] |
The Simpsons:Come along and bring the family! |
| [00:43.67] |
Come along and join the fun! |
| [00:47.35] |
Come along and join the family! |
| [00:50.54] |
Join the fam'ly Simpson! |
| [00:53.94] |
Roll call! |
| [00:56.61] |
Marge:Remember me? My name is Marge, |
| [00:58.33] |
The TV mom whose hair is large! |
| [01:03.14] |
Bart:Step back, Mom, it's Bart's turn now, |
| [01:04.82] |
Eat my shorts, don't have a cow! |
| [01:09.38] |
"Lisa":I'm Lisa, peppy, blond and stunning, |
| [01:11.30] |
Sophomore, prom queen five years running! |
| [01:13.59] |
Gooooooooooo Lisa! |
| [01:19.76] |
Bart:Wait a minute! Whoa, whoa, stop the music! Where's Dad? |
| [01:27.21] |
"Lisa":Here he is! |
| [01:28.63] |
Homer:I'm hiding from th-th-th-the ghost! |
| [01:31.72] |
Marge:Ghost? What ghost? |
| [01:33.50] |
Homer:B-B-Before the show, you said we were having a special ghost tonight. |
| [01:37.75] |
Marge:I said we were having a special guest tonight: Mr. Tim Conway! |
| [01:45.48] |
Homer:What's a Tim Conway? |
| [01:46.76] |
Tim Conway:Oh, about 120 pounds. |
| [01:51.81] |
The Simpsons:It's The Simpsons Family Smile-Time Variety Hour! |
| [02:13.66] |
Marge:Inflation, trade defecit, horrible war atrocities. |
| [02:18.40] |
How are we supposed to do our big musical number with so many problems in the world? |
| [02:21.93] |
Homer:Well, I know one thing in this world that's still pure and good. |
| [02:25.45] |
Marge:Christian love? |
| [02:27.44] |
Homer:No,,CANDY! Sweet sweet candy! |
| [02:35.90] |
I want candy! |
| [02:38.20] |
Marge:But don't you wanna end world famine? |
| [02:40.51] |
Bart:I want candy! |
| [02:42.73] |
Marge:Or save the endangered Alaskan salmon? |
| [02:45.23] |
"Lisa":I want candy! |
| [02:47.53] |
Marge:Well, if you won't think of society's ills... |
| [02:49.93] |
Homer, Bart and "Lisa":I want candy! |
| [02:52.29] |
Marge:At least, think of our dentist bills! |
| [02:59.33] |
Bart and "Lisa":Gotta new dance and it goes like this, |
| [03:03.66] |
And the name of the dance is the Peppermint Twist. |
| [03:08.66] |
Yeah! |
| [03:12.84] |
Jasper:Lollipop, lollipop, oh, lolli-lollipop, |
| [03:16.85] |
Lollipop. |
| [03:18.72] |
Ow. |
| [03:21.76] |
Smithers:Crack that whip! |
| [03:24.90] |
Licorice whip! |
| [03:28.33] |
I said, Whip it! |
| [03:31.32] |
Licorice whip! |
| [03:40.53] |
All:We want candy! |
| [03:45.14] |
We want candy! |
| [03:49.58] |
CANDY! |
