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Ladies and gentleman, my name is Macklemore, this is my music and it feels so damn good right about now. Check it I got a story, yo it goes a little something like... |
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When I was 17 I was staying in NYC |
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And my homie told me where I could get a fake Id |
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"Aiyo son you better get that shit when you in NY" |
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So I hopped on the subway and I gave it a try |
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Plesant surprise the Id looked fine |
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5'9, blues eyes, born in 1979 |
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Nervous as hell I went to the store with my homie |
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Came out and yelled "Dawg they sold me a 40" |
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You know that I was the man |
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Buying the contraband with a fake ass hologram |
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No more looking for bums, standing in the rain |
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Stranded on Broadway and giving 'em all my change |
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For the rest of the summer man I was on fades |
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17, had it made, getting drunk everyday |
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Eh, I got treated a whole new way |
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Because of a piece of plastic that proved I was of age |
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You know what I'm saying, all of a sudden you get this little piece of plastic and you're in the club. |
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Now for the next three years I had so much fun |
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Getting drunk in Hip-Hop clubs where you had to be 21 |
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Then one day I was walking and I saw a sign |
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That said KRS-One 21 up and live |
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That's hella tight |
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Aiyo I heard he always ripped it |
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So I hopped up in my Civic and went out to by a ticket |
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When I got up the the door the bouncer checking Id's |
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Looks at mine and he's like "Nah we don't take these" |
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I tried to reach and grab my shit back |
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But the mother ****er was tougher than Shaq, on crack |
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I should of punched him, but I would have reached his knee cap |
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And that probably wouldn't have hurt him very much |
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He kept laughing and smilin' and he called me a dumb shit |
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And if I would of let myself I would have cried in public |
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Oh no, I'm like give it back bro |
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But no, my Id was jacked by the Caucasian Deebo |
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Ha I'm laughing right now but at the time it really was not funny and it's still not very funny. ****er |
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Bitch why you got to take my Id? |
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Why do I have to be 21 to drink a Long Island Ice tea? |
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I hate bouncers with their bald heads and ten foot long legs and shirts that they outgrew when they were like ten |
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Get 'em |
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Your mother is dumb for having you |
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You're a bouncer because you have a small dick and as a kid everyone laughed at you |
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Get 'em |
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You're too big and you never seemed to listen |
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You look injected with the shit they give to KFC chickens |
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Get 'em |
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I don't like ya, at all I despise you |
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If I was tall I would fight you |
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If I was a dog I would bite you |
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Every single day you make people cry |
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And your job is to go and ruin teenager's lives |
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Ok I'm going too far bouncers aren't all bad |
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I'm sure they make great husbands and really strong dads |
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But hopefully you learned a lesson from me |
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Never take an MC's fake Id |
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Yup, I said never take an MC's fake Id |
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You could be buff and tough, it don't matter to me |
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'Cause you're going to get burned if you step to MCs |
