Your Horoscope for Today

Your Horoscope for Today 歌词

歌曲 Your Horoscope for Today
歌手 Weird Al Yankovic
专辑 Running with Scissors
下载 Image LRC TXT
[00:00.00] 作词 : Yankovic
[00:11.47] Aquarius
[00:12.30] There's travel in your future when your tongue
[00:14.70] freezes to the back of a speeding bus
[00:17.52] Fill that void in your pathetic life
[00:19.69] by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day
[00:22.42] Pisces
[00:23.05] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos
[00:25.55] with the E. Bola virus
[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the Dance
[00:30.24] no matter what those idiots at work say
[00:32.40] Aries
[00:33.05] The look on your face will be priceless
[00:34.58] when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
[00:38.28] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf
[00:40.79] then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
[00:42.64] Taurus
[00:43.07] You will never find true happiness
[00:45.47] whatcha gonna do, cry about it?
[00:47.98] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up,
[00:50.48] do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep
[00:53.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
[00:58.64] That's your horoscope for today
[01:03.77] That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
[01:08.77] That's your horoscope for today
[01:13.45] Gemini
[01:13.99] Your birthday party will be ruined once again
[01:17.00] by your explosive flatulence
[01:19.06] Your love life will run into trouble when your
[01:21.25] fiance hurls a javelin through your chest
[01:23.88] Cancer
[01:24.29] The position of Jupiter says that you should
[01:26.69] spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
[01:29.63] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose
[01:32.58] while taking your driver's test
[01:34.21] Leo
[01:34.52] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt
[01:36.81] and staple it to your boss's face, oh no
[01:39.64] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding
[01:41.60] and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik
[01:44.86] Virgo
[01:45.30] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent
[01:49.00] except for you
[01:50.09] Expect a big surprise today
[01:52.26] when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick
[01:55.32] That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
[02:00.32] That's your horoscope for today
[02:05.55] That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
[02:10.89] That's your horoscope for today
[02:15.35] Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least
[02:17.85] a bit unlikely that the relative position of the
[02:20.26] planets and the stars could have a special deep significance
[02:22.53] or meaning that exclusively applies to only you
[02:25.05] but let me give you my assurance that these
[02:26.57] forecasts and predictions are all based on
[02:28.31] solid scientific documented evidence
[02:30.37] so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize
[02:32.90] that every single one of them is absolutely true
[02:35.39] Where was I?
[02:35.82] Libra
[02:36.39] A big promotion is just around the corner
[02:38.89] for someone much more talented than you
[02:41.62] Laughter is the very best medicine
[02:43.47] remember that when your appendix bursts next week
[02:46.21] Scorpio
[02:46.85] Get ready for an unexpected trip
[02:49.02] when you fall screaming from an open window
[02:51.85] Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem
[02:55.23] you stupid freak
[02:56.43] Sagittarius
[02:57.30] All your friends are laughing behind your back
[03:00.24] K I L L T H E M
[03:01.77] Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine
[03:05.24] you've got hanging in your den
[03:06.88] Capricorn
[03:07.64] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person
[03:11.02] but you know they're lying
[03:12.43] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and
[03:14.39] never never never never never leave my house again
[03:17.66] That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
[03:22.66] That's your horoscope for today
[03:27.89] That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
[03:33.02] That's your horoscope for today
[03:38.15] That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
[03:43.15] That's your horoscope for today
[03:48.27] That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
[03:53.28] That's your horoscope for today
[03:56.00]
[00:00.00] zuo ci : Yankovic
[00:11.47] Aquarius
[00:12.30] There' s travel in your future when your tongue
[00:14.70] freezes to the back of a speeding bus
[00:17.52] Fill that void in your pathetic life
[00:19.69] by playing WhackAMole seventeen hours a day
[00:22.42] Pisces
[00:23.05] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos
[00:25.55] with the E. Bola virus
[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the Dance
[00:30.24] no matter what those idiots at work say
[00:32.40] Aries
[00:33.05] The look on your face will be priceless
[00:34.58] when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
[00:38.28] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf
[00:40.79] then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
[00:42.64] Taurus
[00:43.07] You will never find true happiness
[00:45.47] whatcha gonna do, cry about it?
[00:47.98] The stars predict tomorrow you' ll wake up,
[00:50.48] do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep
[00:53.64] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[00:58.64] That' s your horoscope for today
[01:03.77] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[01:08.77] That' s your horoscope for today
[01:13.45] Gemini
[01:13.99] Your birthday party will be ruined once again
[01:17.00] by your explosive flatulence
[01:19.06] Your love life will run into trouble when your
[01:21.25] fiance hurls a javelin through your chest
[01:23.88] Cancer
[01:24.29] The position of Jupiter says that you should
[01:26.69] spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
[01:29.63] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose
[01:32.58] while taking your driver' s test
[01:34.21] Leo
[01:34.52] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt
[01:36.81] and staple it to your boss' s face, oh no
[01:39.64] Eat a bucket of tunaflavored pudding
[01:41.60] and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik
[01:44.86] Virgo
[01:45.30] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent
[01:49.00] except for you
[01:50.09] Expect a big surprise today
[01:52.26] when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick
[01:55.32] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[02:00.32] That' s your horoscope for today
[02:05.55] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[02:10.89] That' s your horoscope for today
[02:15.35] Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least
[02:17.85] a bit unlikely that the relative position of the
[02:20.26] planets and the stars could have a special deep significance
[02:22.53] or meaning that exclusively applies to only you
[02:25.05] but let me give you my assurance that these
[02:26.57] forecasts and predictions are all based on
[02:28.31] solid scientific documented evidence
[02:30.37] so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize
[02:32.90] that every single one of them is absolutely true
[02:35.39] Where was I?
[02:35.82] Libra
[02:36.39] A big promotion is just around the corner
[02:38.89] for someone much more talented than you
[02:41.62] Laughter is the very best medicine
[02:43.47] remember that when your appendix bursts next week
[02:46.21] Scorpio
[02:46.85] Get ready for an unexpected trip
[02:49.02] when you fall screaming from an open window
[02:51.85] Work a little harder on improving your low selfesteem
[02:55.23] you stupid freak
[02:56.43] Sagittarius
[02:57.30] All your friends are laughing behind your back
[03:00.24] K I L L T H E M
[03:01.77] Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine
[03:05.24] you' ve got hanging in your den
[03:06.88] Capricorn
[03:07.64] The stars say that you' re an exciting and wonderful person
[03:11.02] but you know they' re lying
[03:12.43] If I were you, I' d lock my doors and windows and
[03:14.39] never never never never never leave my house again
[03:17.66] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[03:22.66] That' s your horoscope for today
[03:27.89] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[03:33.02] That' s your horoscope for today
[03:38.15] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[03:43.15] That' s your horoscope for today
[03:48.27] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[03:53.28] That' s your horoscope for today
[03:56.00]
[00:00.00] zuò cí : Yankovic
[00:11.47] Aquarius
[00:12.30] There' s travel in your future when your tongue
[00:14.70] freezes to the back of a speeding bus
[00:17.52] Fill that void in your pathetic life
[00:19.69] by playing WhackAMole seventeen hours a day
[00:22.42] Pisces
[00:23.05] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos
[00:25.55] with the E. Bola virus
[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the Dance
[00:30.24] no matter what those idiots at work say
[00:32.40] Aries
[00:33.05] The look on your face will be priceless
[00:34.58] when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
[00:38.28] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf
[00:40.79] then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
[00:42.64] Taurus
[00:43.07] You will never find true happiness
[00:45.47] whatcha gonna do, cry about it?
[00:47.98] The stars predict tomorrow you' ll wake up,
[00:50.48] do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep
[00:53.64] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[00:58.64] That' s your horoscope for today
[01:03.77] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[01:08.77] That' s your horoscope for today
[01:13.45] Gemini
[01:13.99] Your birthday party will be ruined once again
[01:17.00] by your explosive flatulence
[01:19.06] Your love life will run into trouble when your
[01:21.25] fiance hurls a javelin through your chest
[01:23.88] Cancer
[01:24.29] The position of Jupiter says that you should
[01:26.69] spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
[01:29.63] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose
[01:32.58] while taking your driver' s test
[01:34.21] Leo
[01:34.52] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt
[01:36.81] and staple it to your boss' s face, oh no
[01:39.64] Eat a bucket of tunaflavored pudding
[01:41.60] and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik
[01:44.86] Virgo
[01:45.30] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent
[01:49.00] except for you
[01:50.09] Expect a big surprise today
[01:52.26] when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick
[01:55.32] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[02:00.32] That' s your horoscope for today
[02:05.55] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[02:10.89] That' s your horoscope for today
[02:15.35] Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least
[02:17.85] a bit unlikely that the relative position of the
[02:20.26] planets and the stars could have a special deep significance
[02:22.53] or meaning that exclusively applies to only you
[02:25.05] but let me give you my assurance that these
[02:26.57] forecasts and predictions are all based on
[02:28.31] solid scientific documented evidence
[02:30.37] so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize
[02:32.90] that every single one of them is absolutely true
[02:35.39] Where was I?
[02:35.82] Libra
[02:36.39] A big promotion is just around the corner
[02:38.89] for someone much more talented than you
[02:41.62] Laughter is the very best medicine
[02:43.47] remember that when your appendix bursts next week
[02:46.21] Scorpio
[02:46.85] Get ready for an unexpected trip
[02:49.02] when you fall screaming from an open window
[02:51.85] Work a little harder on improving your low selfesteem
[02:55.23] you stupid freak
[02:56.43] Sagittarius
[02:57.30] All your friends are laughing behind your back
[03:00.24] K I L L T H E M
[03:01.77] Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine
[03:05.24] you' ve got hanging in your den
[03:06.88] Capricorn
[03:07.64] The stars say that you' re an exciting and wonderful person
[03:11.02] but you know they' re lying
[03:12.43] If I were you, I' d lock my doors and windows and
[03:14.39] never never never never never leave my house again
[03:17.66] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[03:22.66] That' s your horoscope for today
[03:27.89] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[03:33.02] That' s your horoscope for today
[03:38.15] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[03:43.15] That' s your horoscope for today
[03:48.27] That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay
[03:53.28] That' s your horoscope for today
[03:56.00]
Your Horoscope for Today 歌词
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