| [00:37.-4] | Go up to her and say, "I'm returning your egg." |
| [00:45.-3] | -It's insane. -She'll love it. - |
| [02:31.-3] | I said I'd bring a friend for her friend. |
| [05:14.-3] | I'd take crying any day over Howard,the "I win" guy! |
| [07:06.-2] | So if you want,I have a bag with just your heads. |
| [13:41.-2] | And I have the receipt from my dinner with.... |
| [17:16.-1] | Some greeting cards. |
| [18:51.-2] | I just don't think things are gonna work out. |
| [23:09.-2] | It's easy for you to say. You found one already. |
| [00:02.31] | Ross,she wants you. |
| [00:04.55] | We just live in the same building. |
| [00:07.59] | -Any contact? -She lent me an egg. - |
| [00:10.12] | -You're in! -Right. - |
| [00:14.69] | Hey,Ross. |
| [00:22.07] | Come on. Get back in the game. |
| [00:25.00] | The Rachel thing isn't happening, your ex-wife's a lesbian.... |
| [00:30.01] | I don't think we need a third. |
| [00:32.41] | Could we get an egg, still in the shell? |
| [00:35.78] | An egg? |
| [00:42.39] | I think it's winning. |
| [00:48.56] | -Thank you. -Thank you. Here. |
| [00:54.50] | Go with the egg,my friend. |
| [00:58.77] | Go,go,go! |
| [01:03.14] | -Think it'll work? -No way. It's suicide. - |
| [01:07.21] | The One With The Candy Hearts |
| [01:56.56] | -You can't do this. -Do what? - |
| [01:58.93] | -Roger wants to take her out. -No! Remember why you dumped him? - |
| [02:04.40] | Because he was creepy. |
| [02:07.01] | And mean. And frightening. |
| [02:09.11] | Still,it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day! |
| [02:14.25] | You can go out with a creep any night. |
| [02:17.48] | I know I do. |
| [02:22.19] | -What are you doing tomorrow night? -That depends on how tonight goes. - |
| [02:27.63] | -About tonight -Don't you bail on me! - |
| [02:34.73] | -But her friend sounds like a -Pathetic mess. I know,but.... - |
| [02:39.60] | Come on. She's needy,vulnerable. |
| [02:42.44] | I'm thinking.... |
| [02:48.91] | Thanks. |
| [02:50.88] | You haven't been out with a woman since Janice. You're doing this. |
| [02:57.82] | -She said yes. -Way to go,man! - |
| [03:02.83] | Still got the egg,huh? - |
| [03:18.31] | How do I look? |
| [03:20.78] | I don't care. |
| [03:26.18] | There's Lorraine. |
| [03:28.45] | No trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. |
| [03:32.32] | Hi,Joey. |
| [03:36.79] | Well,well! Look what you brought! |
| [03:40.47] | Very nice. |
| [03:42.90] | And what did you bring? |
| [03:46.54] | She's checking her coat. |
| [03:48.57] | I'm gonna wash the cab smell off of my hands. |
| [03:52.14] | Get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. |
| [04:00.79] | Janice? |
| [04:03.79] | Janice!? |
| [04:06.56] | Oh... |
| [04:07.89] | ... my... … |
| [04:09.49] | ...God! … |
| [04:14.70] | Hey,it's Janice! |
| [04:23.07] | Okay,I'm making a break for it! |
| [04:25.78] | I've been waiting for,like,forever to go out with Lorraine. |
| [04:30.65] | -Just calm down. -Calm down? |
| [04:33.08] | You set me up with a woman I've dumped twice in the last five months! |
| [04:38.46] | Can you stop yelling? You're making me nervous and.... |
| [04:45.20] | I can't go when I'm nervous. |
| [04:48.03] | I'm sorry,you're right. |
| [04:54.07] | Come on! Do it,do it! |
| [04:59.01] | Roger was creepy,but he was nothing compared to Pete. |
| [05:03.01] | -Who? -Pete the Weeper |
| [05:05.22] | The guy that used to cry every time we had sex? |
| [05:09.25] | "Was it good for you?" |
| [05:18.43] | "I win! I win!" “ |
| [05:21.87] | We went out for two months. I didn't win once. |
| [05:25.94] | How do we end up with these jerks? |
| [05:29.61] | We're some kind of magnets. |
| [05:32.64] | I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch. |
| [05:39.22] | There's more beer,right? |
| [05:44.29] | You know my friend who shaves her head? |
| [05:47.46] | No. No. |
| [05:48.63] | I have this friend who shaves her head. |
| [05:52.03] | She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle... |
| [05:55.17] | ...you can do a cleansing ritual. |
| [06:00.07] | Pheebs,this woman is voluntarily bald. |
| [06:05.24] | Yeah. |
| [06:07.18] | We can do it tomorrow night. |
| [06:10.01] | It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect. |
| [06:12.42] | Okay,what kind of ritual? |
| [06:14.82] | We can burn the stuff they gave us. |
| [06:19.79] | Or...? |
| [06:21.53] | Or we can chant and dance around naked with sticks. |
| [06:29.63] | Burning's good. |
| [06:41.11] | You know... |
| [06:42.88] | ... I can pick up quarters with my toes. |
| [06:47.59] | Yeah? Good for you. |
| [06:53.16] | Quarters or rolls of quarters? |
| [07:01.80] | By the way,I cut you out of all of my pictures. |
| [07:11.04] | That's okay. |
| [07:13.18] | You could make little puppets out of them. |
| [07:17.05] | And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty! |
| [07:23.32] | -We can't do that! -What? What can't you do? - |
| [07:31.36] | Can I talk to you for a second? Over there? |
| [07:41.04] | We might be leaving now. |
| [07:43.91] | Tell me it's you and me "we." |
| [07:47.11] | She wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. |
| [07:51.35] | I'm not even sure what slathering is! |
| [07:54.59] | But I definitely want to be a part of it! |
| [07:58.59] | Okay,you cannot do this to me. |
| [08:02.73] | You're right. I'm sorry. |
| [08:05.20] | Can we have three chocolate mousses to go? |
| [08:10.30] | I'm out of here. |
| [08:13.64] | Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. |
| [08:17.41] | I hope she throws up on you. |
| [08:22.05] | Thanks. |
| [08:25.48] | -So.... -Just us. |
| [08:28.65] | What a crappy night! |
| [08:31.29] | I have enjoyed the fact... |
| [08:34.00] | ...that your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper. |
| [08:43.70] | Excuse me. |
| [08:48.24] | How you doing? |
| [08:54.88] | So do we have the best friends, or what? |
| [08:58.62] | Joey's not a friend. He's... |
| [09:03.00] | ...a stupid man who left us his credit card. |
| [09:07.63] | Another drink? Dessert? A big-screen TV? |
| [09:11.63] | -I'll have a drink. -Got it. Good woman! - |
| [09:20.74] | -A bottle of overpriced champagne. -Each. - |
| [09:24.14] | That's right,each. And a rob roy. |
| [09:28.15] | I've always wanted to know. |
| [09:48.07] | Happy Valentine's Day! |
| [09:59.71] | Oh,I miss you already. |
| [10:03.81] | -Can you believe this happened? -No,no! - |
| [10:08.59] | And yet it did. |
| [10:11.16] | -Goodbye,Janice. -kiss me! - |
| [10:16.19] | Oh,Chandler. Sorry. |
| [10:18.60] | Oh,Chandler. Sorry! |
| [10:23.20] | -Hey,Janice. -Hi,Monica. - |
| [10:25.67] | Well,this was very special. |
| [10:29.91] | Rach,come see who's out here! |
| [10:33.14] | What's going on? Oh,my God! |
| [10:36.35] | Janice! Hi! |
| [10:38.92] | Janice is gonna go away now! |
| [10:43.59] | I'll be right back. |
| [10:46.79] | Joey! Look who it is! |
| [10:53.00] | Good. Joey's home. |
| [10:54.77] | This is so much fun! |
| [10:57.37] | This is like a reunion in the hall! |
| [11:02.57] | Ross,there's someone I want you to say hi to. |
| [11:08.01] | He happened to call. |
| [11:09.61] | Hi,Ross. That's right,it's me! How did you know? |
| [11:29.70] | So,if dogs experience jet lag... |
| [11:33.67] | ... because of the seven dog years to one human year thing... |
| [11:38.21] | ...when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles... |
| [11:41.78] | ... he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses a week and a half. |
| [11:49.29] | That's funny! |
| [11:59.56] | They should be cooking the food soon. |
| [12:02.60] | Oh,good. oh, |
| [12:14.11] | Who are they? |
| [12:15.68] | The blond is my ex-wife. The woman touching her is her... |
| [12:21.55] | ...close,personal friend. |
| [12:26.12] | -They're lovers? -lf you want to put a label on it. - |
| [12:33.63] | -Anything else I should know? -Nope. That's it. - |
| [12:38.04] | Oh,and she's pregnant with my baby. |
| [12:44.31] | I always forget that part. |
| [12:48.58] | Hello! Hello! |
| [12:56.15] | Now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine. |
| [13:03.23] | All I had is oregano and a Fresca. |
| [13:06.63] | That's okay! |
| [13:12.70] | Now we need the semen of a righteous man. |
| [13:22.25] | If we had that,we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place. |
| [13:27.92] | -Can we start throwing things in? -Yeah,okay! - |
| [13:35.19] | Okay. Barry's letters. |
| [13:38.13] | Adam Ritter's boxer shorts. |
| [13:49.11] | -A picture of Scotty Jared naked! -Let me see! - |
| [13:52.84] | -He's wearing a sweater. -No. - |
| [14:01.09] | -Whose MCl card is that? -Mine. Shoot! |
| [14:04.26] | Remember this number: Nine,seven,four.... |
| [14:10.39] | Okay,and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa. |
| [14:14.33] | Wait,isn't it almost pure |
| [14:21.21] | How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day? |
| [14:25.21] | I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's. |
| [14:29.35] | In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush. |
| [14:35.09] | Hello,funny valentine! |
| [14:38.69] | Hi,just Janice. |
| [14:41.39] | Hello,Joey,our little matchmaker. |
| [14:44.50] | I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna. |
| [14:52.74] | If you don't do it,I will. |
| [15:15.43] | -So are you actually from New York? -Not originally. I'm from - |
| [15:21.13] | -You said they'd shoot it without you. -I thought they could. - |
| [15:25.44] | The maxi-pads were a piece of cake. Mini-pads should be that much easier. |
| [15:31.54] | -It's Valentine's Day. -I know,but it's my job. - |
| [15:35.68] | I'll try to get back as soon as I can. |
| [15:39.12] | I'm spending most of my time teaching science... |
| [15:42.42] | ...which is funny because that wasn't even my major. |
| [15:58.34] | Now,that is funny! |
| [16:03.64] | Do you think it would be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? |
| [16:09.15] | Because she's alone now. And pregnant. And sad. |
| [16:14.92] | -I guess. -Are you sure? Carol! |
| [16:19.06] | -Wanna join us? -No,I'm fine. - |
| [16:22.09] | Come on. These people will scooch down. |
| [16:26.50] | You guys will scooch,won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on! |
| [16:32.10] | -Come on. -Thank you. |
| [16:36.51] | IKristen Riggs,this is Carol Willick. Carol,Kristen. |
| [16:40.91] | -How do you do? -Carol teaches sixth grade. - |
| [16:45.08] | And Kristen.... |
| [16:50.69] | IKristen does something... |
| [16:54.56] | ...that,funnily enough... |
| [16:58.13] | ...wasn't even her major! |
| [17:03.67] | -Thanks for coming over. -Not at all. It's pretty much our job. - |
| [17:08.37] | That's why we get the cool hats. |
| [17:11.34] | -What do we got there? -A piece of sik boxer shorts. - |
| [17:19.22] | A half-charred picture of.... |
| [17:22.00] | That guy's hairier than the chief! |
| [17:28.06] | It's a really funny story how this happened. |
| [17:32.16] | I was taking out the trash, and Phoebe was burning incense |
| [17:37.67] | It's all right. |
| [17:39.24] | This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire we've seen get out of control. |
| [17:45.01] | -Third one tonight. -Really? - |
| [17:47.54] | Valentine's is our busiest night of the year. |
| [17:53.75] | Next time you're burning your ex-boyfriend's stuff: |
| [17:57.29] | One,do it in a well-ventilated area. |
| [18:00.39] | Two,if you wanna burn his clothing, stay away from synthetic fabrics. |
| [18:05.76] | Three,try to let go of the anger, and learn to love yourself. |
| [18:13.54] | -I brought you something. -ls it loaded? - |
| [18:20.84] | Oh,little candy hearts. "Chan and Jan Forever." |
| [18:27.52] | I had them made special. |
| [18:33.42] | Okay,Janice. ok, |
| [18:38.43] | Hey,Janice. |
| [18:42.83] | There's no way to tell you this. |
| [18:45.34] | At least,there's no new way. |
| [18:56.48] | That's fine. |
| [19:01.59] | It is? It is? |
| [19:03.62] | Because I know that this isn't the end. |
| [19:09.19] | You see,actually,it is. |
| [19:11.86] | No,because you won't let that happen. |
| [19:14.90] | Don't you know it yet? |
| [19:16.90] | You love me,Chandler Bing! |
| [19:24.04] | Oh,no,I don't. |
| [19:26.31] | Why do we keep ending up together? New Year's,who invited who? |
| [19:31.52] | -Valentine's,who asked who into bed? -I did,but - |
| [19:35.72] | You seek me out! |
| [19:37.49] | Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! |
| [19:42.73] | Janice! Janice! |
| [19:46.80] | You push me away, you pull me back! |
| [19:51.27] | You want me. You need me. |
| [19:54.04] | You can't live without me. And you know it. |
| [19:59.34] | You just don't know you know it. |
| [20:07.78] | See? |
| [20:15.69] | Call me! |
| [20:25.54] | It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine. |
| [20:29.81] | You did so,I swear to |
| [20:36.18] | How long has she been in the bathroom? |
| [20:39.52] | She isn't in the bathroom. Her coat's gone. |
| [20:42.92] | Well,maybe it's cold in there. |
| [20:47.42] | I screwed up my first date in nine years. |
| [20:50.86] | -That could be it. -Oh,God. - |
| [20:54.63] | You know,this is still pretty hot. |
| [21:01.74] | Mushroom. |
| [21:04.34] | Smile. |
| [21:06.61] | They won't all be like this. Some might stay through dinner. |
| [21:11.35] | -I'm sorry. That's not funny. -It's just.... - |
| [21:14.75] | You know the whole "get on with your life" thing? |
| [21:18.52] | Well,do I have to? |
| [21:21.02] | I'm sitting here with this cute woman... |
| [21:26.10] | ...and she's perfectly nice,but that... |
| [21:31.57] | ...that's it. |
| [21:33.74] | Then I'm here talking to you, and it's easy and it's fun. |
| [21:38.94] | And I don't have to.... |
| [21:41.78] | -I know. -You know? |
| [21:47.48] | Here's a wacky thought. |
| [21:50.82] | Let's say you and I give it another shot. |
| [21:54.69] | I know what you're gonna say. You're a lesbian. |
| [21:59.30] | But what do you say we just put that aside for now. |
| [22:04.40] | Let's just stick a pin in it. |
| [22:07.27] | Because we're great together. You can't deny it. |
| [22:13.54] | I've got a ring at home that fits you. |
| [22:17.68] | I've got lots of pictures with both of us in them. |
| [22:22.72] | And best of all, you're carrying my baby. |
| [22:27.12] | -I mean,how perfect is that? -Ross - |
| [22:30.00] | You keep saying that,but there's something right here. I love you. |
| [22:42.47] | I love you too. |
| [22:45.88] | -But -No "but." - |
| [22:49.51] | You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it? |
| [22:55.69] | It's time to take the pin out. |
| [23:04.80] | You'll find someone. The right woman is waiting for you. |
| [23:14.30] | All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. |
| [23:21.41] | Not her. |
| [23:35.29] | So,you guys really slide down a pole? |
| [23:41.87] | -Absolutely. -That's so cool. - |
| [23:46.57] | How do you get back up? |
| [23:51.01] | Well,we rarely have to return from a fire as quickly. |
| [23:58.68] | So,would you guys.... |
| [24:01.52] | Would you like to,sometime,maybe.... |
| [24:06.59] | Go for a drink sometime? |
| [24:08.76] | Sure,sounds good. |
| [24:10.33] | We get off at midnight. We'll pick you up then. |
| [24:13.86] | Okay. Great! |
| [24:16.50] | So will you bring the truck? |
| [24:21.57] | I'll even let you ring the bell. |
| [24:24.37] | -We'll see you later. -Bye! See you later! |
| [24:29.38] | Oh,my God! |
| [24:31.82] | See? There you go. The cleansing worked. |
| [24:34.79] | You're right. They're nice guys! |
| [24:38.02] | They're firemen guys! |
| [24:42.06] | -Tell them you're married? -No. My girlfriend doesn't even know. - |
| [00:37.-4] | Go up to her and say, " I' m returning your egg." |
| [00:45.-3] | It' s insane. She' ll love it. |
| [02:31.-3] | I said I' d bring a friend for her friend. |
| [05:14.-3] | I' d take crying any day over Howard, the " I win" guy! |
| [07:06.-2] | So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads. |
| [13:41.-2] | And I have the receipt from my dinner with.... |
| [17:16.-1] | Some greeting cards. |
| [18:51.-2] | I just don' t think things are gonna work out. |
| [23:09.-2] | It' s easy for you to say. You found one already. |
| [00:02.31] | Ross, she wants you. |
| [00:04.55] | We just live in the same building. |
| [00:07.59] | Any contact? She lent me an egg. |
| [00:10.12] | You' re in! Right. |
| [00:14.69] | Hey, Ross. |
| [00:22.07] | Come on. Get back in the game. |
| [00:25.00] | The Rachel thing isn' t happening, your exwife' s a lesbian.... |
| [00:30.01] | I don' t think we need a third. |
| [00:32.41] | Could we get an egg, still in the shell? |
| [00:35.78] | An egg? |
| [00:42.39] | I think it' s winning. |
| [00:48.56] | Thank you. Thank you. Here. |
| [00:54.50] | Go with the egg, my friend. |
| [00:58.77] | Go, go, go! |
| [01:03.14] | Think it' ll work? No way. It' s suicide. |
| [01:07.21] | The One With The Candy Hearts |
| [01:56.56] | You can' t do this. Do what? |
| [01:58.93] | Roger wants to take her out. No! Remember why you dumped him? |
| [02:04.40] | Because he was creepy. |
| [02:07.01] | And mean. And frightening. |
| [02:09.11] | Still, it' s nice to have a date on Valentine' s Day! |
| [02:14.25] | You can go out with a creep any night. |
| [02:17.48] | I know I do. |
| [02:22.19] | What are you doing tomorrow night? That depends on how tonight goes. |
| [02:27.63] | About tonight Don' t you bail on me! |
| [02:34.73] | But her friend sounds like a Pathetic mess. I know, but.... |
| [02:39.60] | Come on. She' s needy, vulnerable. |
| [02:42.44] | I' m thinking.... |
| [02:48.91] | Thanks. |
| [02:50.88] | You haven' t been out with a woman since Janice. You' re doing this. |
| [02:57.82] | She said yes. Way to go, man! |
| [03:02.83] | Still got the egg, huh? |
| [03:18.31] | How do I look? |
| [03:20.78] | I don' t care. |
| [03:26.18] | There' s Lorraine. |
| [03:28.45] | No trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. |
| [03:32.32] | Hi, Joey. |
| [03:36.79] | Well, well! Look what you brought! |
| [03:40.47] | Very nice. |
| [03:42.90] | And what did you bring? |
| [03:46.54] | She' s checking her coat. |
| [03:48.57] | I' m gonna wash the cab smell off of my hands. |
| [03:52.14] | Get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. |
| [04:00.79] | Janice? |
| [04:03.79] | Janice!? |
| [04:06.56] | Oh... |
| [04:07.89] | ... my... |
| [04:09.49] | ... God! |
| [04:14.70] | Hey, it' s Janice! |
| [04:23.07] | Okay, I' m making a break for it! |
| [04:25.78] | I' ve been waiting for, like, forever to go out with Lorraine. |
| [04:30.65] | Just calm down. Calm down? |
| [04:33.08] | You set me up with a woman I' ve dumped twice in the last five months! |
| [04:38.46] | Can you stop yelling? You' re making me nervous and.... |
| [04:45.20] | I can' t go when I' m nervous. |
| [04:48.03] | I' m sorry, you' re right. |
| [04:54.07] | Come on! Do it, do it! |
| [04:59.01] | Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete. |
| [05:03.01] | Who? Pete the Weeper |
| [05:05.22] | The guy that used to cry every time we had sex? |
| [05:09.25] | " Was it good for you?" |
| [05:18.43] | " I win! I win!" " |
| [05:21.87] | We went out for two months. I didn' t win once. |
| [05:25.94] | How do we end up with these jerks? |
| [05:29.61] | We' re some kind of magnets. |
| [05:32.64] | I know I am. That' s why I can' t wear a digital watch. |
| [05:39.22] | There' s more beer, right? |
| [05:44.29] | You know my friend who shaves her head? |
| [05:47.46] | No. No. |
| [05:48.63] | I have this friend who shaves her head. |
| [05:52.03] | She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle... |
| [05:55.17] | ... you can do a cleansing ritual. |
| [06:00.07] | Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald. |
| [06:05.24] | Yeah. |
| [06:07.18] | We can do it tomorrow night. |
| [06:10.01] | It' s Valentine' s Day. It' s perfect. |
| [06:12.42] | Okay, what kind of ritual? |
| [06:14.82] | We can burn the stuff they gave us. |
| [06:19.79] | Or...? |
| [06:21.53] | Or we can chant and dance around naked with sticks. |
| [06:29.63] | Burning' s good. |
| [06:41.11] | You know... |
| [06:42.88] | ... I can pick up quarters with my toes. |
| [06:47.59] | Yeah? Good for you. |
| [06:53.16] | Quarters or rolls of quarters? |
| [07:01.80] | By the way, I cut you out of all of my pictures. |
| [07:11.04] | That' s okay. |
| [07:13.18] | You could make little puppets out of them. |
| [07:17.05] | And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty! |
| [07:23.32] | We can' t do that! What? What can' t you do? |
| [07:31.36] | Can I talk to you for a second? Over there? |
| [07:41.04] | We might be leaving now. |
| [07:43.91] | Tell me it' s you and me " we." |
| [07:47.11] | She wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. |
| [07:51.35] | I' m not even sure what slathering is! |
| [07:54.59] | But I definitely want to be a part of it! |
| [07:58.59] | Okay, you cannot do this to me. |
| [08:02.73] | You' re right. I' m sorry. |
| [08:05.20] | Can we have three chocolate mousses to go? |
| [08:10.30] | I' m out of here. |
| [08:13.64] | Here' s my credit card. Dinner' s on me. |
| [08:17.41] | I hope she throws up on you. |
| [08:22.05] | Thanks. |
| [08:25.48] | So.... Just us. |
| [08:28.65] | What a crappy night! |
| [08:31.29] | I have enjoyed the fact... |
| [08:34.00] | ... that your shirt' s been sticking out of your zipper. |
| [08:43.70] | Excuse me. |
| [08:48.24] | How you doing? |
| [08:54.88] | So do we have the best friends, or what? |
| [08:58.62] | Joey' s not a friend. He' s... |
| [09:03.00] | ... a stupid man who left us his credit card. |
| [09:07.63] | Another drink? Dessert? A bigscreen TV? |
| [09:11.63] | I' ll have a drink. Got it. Good woman! |
| [09:20.74] | A bottle of overpriced champagne. Each. |
| [09:24.14] | That' s right, each. And a rob roy. |
| [09:28.15] | I' ve always wanted to know. |
| [09:48.07] | Happy Valentine' s Day! |
| [09:59.71] | Oh, I miss you already. |
| [10:03.81] | Can you believe this happened? No, no! |
| [10:08.59] | And yet it did. |
| [10:11.16] | Goodbye, Janice. kiss me! |
| [10:16.19] | Oh, Chandler. Sorry. |
| [10:18.60] | Oh, Chandler. Sorry! |
| [10:23.20] | Hey, Janice. Hi, Monica. |
| [10:25.67] | Well, this was very special. |
| [10:29.91] | Rach, come see who' s out here! |
| [10:33.14] | What' s going on? Oh, my God! |
| [10:36.35] | Janice! Hi! |
| [10:38.92] | Janice is gonna go away now! |
| [10:43.59] | I' ll be right back. |
| [10:46.79] | Joey! Look who it is! |
| [10:53.00] | Good. Joey' s home. |
| [10:54.77] | This is so much fun! |
| [10:57.37] | This is like a reunion in the hall! |
| [11:02.57] | Ross, there' s someone I want you to say hi to. |
| [11:08.01] | He happened to call. |
| [11:09.61] | Hi, Ross. That' s right, it' s me! How did you know? |
| [11:29.70] | So, if dogs experience jet lag... |
| [11:33.67] | ... because of the seven dog years to one human year thing... |
| [11:38.21] | ... when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles... |
| [11:41.78] | ... he doesn' t just lose three hours, he loses a week and a half. |
| [11:49.29] | That' s funny! |
| [11:59.56] | They should be cooking the food soon. |
| [12:02.60] | Oh, good. oh, |
| [12:14.11] | Who are they? |
| [12:15.68] | The blond is my exwife. The woman touching her is her... |
| [12:21.55] | ... close, personal friend. |
| [12:26.12] | They' re lovers? lf you want to put a label on it. |
| [12:33.63] | Anything else I should know? Nope. That' s it. |
| [12:38.04] | Oh, and she' s pregnant with my baby. |
| [12:44.31] | I always forget that part. |
| [12:48.58] | Hello! Hello! |
| [12:56.15] | Now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine. |
| [13:03.23] | All I had is oregano and a Fresca. |
| [13:06.63] | That' s okay! |
| [13:12.70] | Now we need the semen of a righteous man. |
| [13:22.25] | If we had that, we wouldn' t be doing the ritual in the first place. |
| [13:27.92] | Can we start throwing things in? Yeah, okay! |
| [13:35.19] | Okay. Barry' s letters. |
| [13:38.13] | Adam Ritter' s boxer shorts. |
| [13:49.11] | A picture of Scotty Jared naked! Let me see! |
| [13:52.84] | He' s wearing a sweater. No. |
| [14:01.09] | Whose MCl card is that? Mine. Shoot! |
| [14:04.26] | Remember this number: Nine, seven, four.... |
| [14:10.39] | Okay, and here we have the last of Paolo' s grappa. |
| [14:14.33] | Wait, isn' t it almost pure |
| [14:21.21] | How can I dump this woman on Valentine' s Day? |
| [14:25.21] | I don' t know. You dumped her on New Year' s. |
| [14:29.35] | In my next life, I' m coming back as a toilet brush. |
| [14:35.09] | Hello, funny valentine! |
| [14:38.69] | Hi, just Janice. |
| [14:41.39] | Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. |
| [14:44.50] | I could just kiss you all over, and I' m gonna. |
| [14:52.74] | If you don' t do it, I will. |
| [15:15.43] | So are you actually from New York? Not originally. I' m from |
| [15:21.13] | You said they' d shoot it without you. I thought they could. |
| [15:25.44] | The maxipads were a piece of cake. Minipads should be that much easier. |
| [15:31.54] | It' s Valentine' s Day. I know, but it' s my job. |
| [15:35.68] | I' ll try to get back as soon as I can. |
| [15:39.12] | I' m spending most of my time teaching science... |
| [15:42.42] | ... which is funny because that wasn' t even my major. |
| [15:58.34] | Now, that is funny! |
| [16:03.64] | Do you think it would be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? |
| [16:09.15] | Because she' s alone now. And pregnant. And sad. |
| [16:14.92] | I guess. Are you sure? Carol! |
| [16:19.06] | Wanna join us? No, I' m fine. |
| [16:22.09] | Come on. These people will scooch down. |
| [16:26.50] | You guys will scooch, won' t you? Let' s try scooching! Come on! |
| [16:32.10] | Come on. Thank you. |
| [16:36.51] | IKristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristen. |
| [16:40.91] | How do you do? Carol teaches sixth grade. |
| [16:45.08] | And Kristen.... |
| [16:50.69] | IKristen does something... |
| [16:54.56] | ... that, funnily enough... |
| [16:58.13] | ... wasn' t even her major! |
| [17:03.67] | Thanks for coming over. Not at all. It' s pretty much our job. |
| [17:08.37] | That' s why we get the cool hats. |
| [17:11.34] | What do we got there? A piece of sik boxer shorts. |
| [17:19.22] | A halfcharred picture of.... |
| [17:22.00] | That guy' s hairier than the chief! |
| [17:28.06] | It' s a really funny story how this happened. |
| [17:32.16] | I was taking out the trash, and Phoebe was burning incense |
| [17:37.67] | It' s all right. |
| [17:39.24] | This isn' t the first boyfriend bonfire we' ve seen get out of control. |
| [17:45.01] | Third one tonight. Really? |
| [17:47.54] | Valentine' s is our busiest night of the year. |
| [17:53.75] | Next time you' re burning your exboyfriend' s stuff: |
| [17:57.29] | One, do it in a wellventilated area. |
| [18:00.39] | Two, if you wanna burn his clothing, stay away from synthetic fabrics. |
| [18:05.76] | Three, try to let go of the anger, and learn to love yourself. |
| [18:13.54] | I brought you something. ls it loaded? |
| [18:20.84] | Oh, little candy hearts. " Chan and Jan Forever." |
| [18:27.52] | I had them made special. |
| [18:33.42] | Okay, Janice. ok, |
| [18:38.43] | Hey, Janice. |
| [18:42.83] | There' s no way to tell you this. |
| [18:45.34] | At least, there' s no new way. |
| [18:56.48] | That' s fine. |
| [19:01.59] | It is? It is? |
| [19:03.62] | Because I know that this isn' t the end. |
| [19:09.19] | You see, actually, it is. |
| [19:11.86] | No, because you won' t let that happen. |
| [19:14.90] | Don' t you know it yet? |
| [19:16.90] | You love me, Chandler Bing! |
| [19:24.04] | Oh, no, I don' t. |
| [19:26.31] | Why do we keep ending up together? New Year' s, who invited who? |
| [19:31.52] | Valentine' s, who asked who into bed? I did, but |
| [19:35.72] | You seek me out! |
| [19:37.49] | Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! |
| [19:42.73] | Janice! Janice! |
| [19:46.80] | You push me away, you pull me back! |
| [19:51.27] | You want me. You need me. |
| [19:54.04] | You can' t live without me. And you know it. |
| [19:59.34] | You just don' t know you know it. |
| [20:07.78] | See? |
| [20:15.69] | Call me! |
| [20:25.54] | It' s not true. I never called your mother a wolverine. |
| [20:29.81] | You did so, I swear to |
| [20:36.18] | How long has she been in the bathroom? |
| [20:39.52] | She isn' t in the bathroom. Her coat' s gone. |
| [20:42.92] | Well, maybe it' s cold in there. |
| [20:47.42] | I screwed up my first date in nine years. |
| [20:50.86] | That could be it. Oh, God. |
| [20:54.63] | You know, this is still pretty hot. |
| [21:01.74] | Mushroom. |
| [21:04.34] | Smile. |
| [21:06.61] | They won' t all be like this. Some might stay through dinner. |
| [21:11.35] | I' m sorry. That' s not funny. It' s just.... |
| [21:14.75] | You know the whole " get on with your life" thing? |
| [21:18.52] | Well, do I have to? |
| [21:21.02] | I' m sitting here with this cute woman... |
| [21:26.10] | ... and she' s perfectly nice, but that... |
| [21:31.57] | ... that' s it. |
| [21:33.74] | Then I' m here talking to you, and it' s easy and it' s fun. |
| [21:38.94] | And I don' t have to.... |
| [21:41.78] | I know. You know? |
| [21:47.48] | Here' s a wacky thought. |
| [21:50.82] | Let' s say you and I give it another shot. |
| [21:54.69] | I know what you' re gonna say. You' re a lesbian. |
| [21:59.30] | But what do you say we just put that aside for now. |
| [22:04.40] | Let' s just stick a pin in it. |
| [22:07.27] | Because we' re great together. You can' t deny it. |
| [22:13.54] | I' ve got a ring at home that fits you. |
| [22:17.68] | I' ve got lots of pictures with both of us in them. |
| [22:22.72] | And best of all, you' re carrying my baby. |
| [22:27.12] | I mean, how perfect is that? Ross |
| [22:30.00] | You keep saying that, but there' s something right here. I love you. |
| [22:42.47] | I love you too. |
| [22:45.88] | But No " but." |
| [22:49.51] | You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it? |
| [22:55.69] | It' s time to take the pin out. |
| [23:04.80] | You' ll find someone. The right woman is waiting for you. |
| [23:14.30] | All you need is a woman who likes men, and you' ll be set. |
| [23:21.41] | Not her. |
| [23:35.29] | So, you guys really slide down a pole? |
| [23:41.87] | Absolutely. That' s so cool. |
| [23:46.57] | How do you get back up? |
| [23:51.01] | Well, we rarely have to return from a fire as quickly. |
| [23:58.68] | So, would you guys.... |
| [24:01.52] | Would you like to, sometime, maybe.... |
| [24:06.59] | Go for a drink sometime? |
| [24:08.76] | Sure, sounds good. |
| [24:10.33] | We get off at midnight. We' ll pick you up then. |
| [24:13.86] | Okay. Great! |
| [24:16.50] | So will you bring the truck? |
| [24:21.57] | I' ll even let you ring the bell. |
| [24:24.37] | We' ll see you later. Bye! See you later! |
| [24:29.38] | Oh, my God! |
| [24:31.82] | See? There you go. The cleansing worked. |
| [24:34.79] | You' re right. They' re nice guys! |
| [24:38.02] | They' re firemen guys! |
| [24:42.06] | Tell them you' re married? No. My girlfriend doesn' t even know. |
| [00:37.-4] | Go up to her and say, " I' m returning your egg." |
| [00:45.-3] | It' s insane. She' ll love it. |
| [02:31.-3] | I said I' d bring a friend for her friend. |
| [05:14.-3] | I' d take crying any day over Howard, the " I win" guy! |
| [07:06.-2] | So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads. |
| [13:41.-2] | And I have the receipt from my dinner with.... |
| [17:16.-1] | Some greeting cards. |
| [18:51.-2] | I just don' t think things are gonna work out. |
| [23:09.-2] | It' s easy for you to say. You found one already. |
| [00:02.31] | Ross, she wants you. |
| [00:04.55] | We just live in the same building. |
| [00:07.59] | Any contact? She lent me an egg. |
| [00:10.12] | You' re in! Right. |
| [00:14.69] | Hey, Ross. |
| [00:22.07] | Come on. Get back in the game. |
| [00:25.00] | The Rachel thing isn' t happening, your exwife' s a lesbian.... |
| [00:30.01] | I don' t think we need a third. |
| [00:32.41] | Could we get an egg, still in the shell? |
| [00:35.78] | An egg? |
| [00:42.39] | I think it' s winning. |
| [00:48.56] | Thank you. Thank you. Here. |
| [00:54.50] | Go with the egg, my friend. |
| [00:58.77] | Go, go, go! |
| [01:03.14] | Think it' ll work? No way. It' s suicide. |
| [01:07.21] | The One With The Candy Hearts |
| [01:56.56] | You can' t do this. Do what? |
| [01:58.93] | Roger wants to take her out. No! Remember why you dumped him? |
| [02:04.40] | Because he was creepy. |
| [02:07.01] | And mean. And frightening. |
| [02:09.11] | Still, it' s nice to have a date on Valentine' s Day! |
| [02:14.25] | You can go out with a creep any night. |
| [02:17.48] | I know I do. |
| [02:22.19] | What are you doing tomorrow night? That depends on how tonight goes. |
| [02:27.63] | About tonight Don' t you bail on me! |
| [02:34.73] | But her friend sounds like a Pathetic mess. I know, but.... |
| [02:39.60] | Come on. She' s needy, vulnerable. |
| [02:42.44] | I' m thinking.... |
| [02:48.91] | Thanks. |
| [02:50.88] | You haven' t been out with a woman since Janice. You' re doing this. |
| [02:57.82] | She said yes. Way to go, man! |
| [03:02.83] | Still got the egg, huh? |
| [03:18.31] | How do I look? |
| [03:20.78] | I don' t care. |
| [03:26.18] | There' s Lorraine. |
| [03:28.45] | No trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. |
| [03:32.32] | Hi, Joey. |
| [03:36.79] | Well, well! Look what you brought! |
| [03:40.47] | Very nice. |
| [03:42.90] | And what did you bring? |
| [03:46.54] | She' s checking her coat. |
| [03:48.57] | I' m gonna wash the cab smell off of my hands. |
| [03:52.14] | Get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. |
| [04:00.79] | Janice? |
| [04:03.79] | Janice!? |
| [04:06.56] | Oh... |
| [04:07.89] | ... my... |
| [04:09.49] | ... God! |
| [04:14.70] | Hey, it' s Janice! |
| [04:23.07] | Okay, I' m making a break for it! |
| [04:25.78] | I' ve been waiting for, like, forever to go out with Lorraine. |
| [04:30.65] | Just calm down. Calm down? |
| [04:33.08] | You set me up with a woman I' ve dumped twice in the last five months! |
| [04:38.46] | Can you stop yelling? You' re making me nervous and.... |
| [04:45.20] | I can' t go when I' m nervous. |
| [04:48.03] | I' m sorry, you' re right. |
| [04:54.07] | Come on! Do it, do it! |
| [04:59.01] | Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete. |
| [05:03.01] | Who? Pete the Weeper |
| [05:05.22] | The guy that used to cry every time we had sex? |
| [05:09.25] | " Was it good for you?" |
| [05:18.43] | " I win! I win!" " |
| [05:21.87] | We went out for two months. I didn' t win once. |
| [05:25.94] | How do we end up with these jerks? |
| [05:29.61] | We' re some kind of magnets. |
| [05:32.64] | I know I am. That' s why I can' t wear a digital watch. |
| [05:39.22] | There' s more beer, right? |
| [05:44.29] | You know my friend who shaves her head? |
| [05:47.46] | No. No. |
| [05:48.63] | I have this friend who shaves her head. |
| [05:52.03] | She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle... |
| [05:55.17] | ... you can do a cleansing ritual. |
| [06:00.07] | Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald. |
| [06:05.24] | Yeah. |
| [06:07.18] | We can do it tomorrow night. |
| [06:10.01] | It' s Valentine' s Day. It' s perfect. |
| [06:12.42] | Okay, what kind of ritual? |
| [06:14.82] | We can burn the stuff they gave us. |
| [06:19.79] | Or...? |
| [06:21.53] | Or we can chant and dance around naked with sticks. |
| [06:29.63] | Burning' s good. |
| [06:41.11] | You know... |
| [06:42.88] | ... I can pick up quarters with my toes. |
| [06:47.59] | Yeah? Good for you. |
| [06:53.16] | Quarters or rolls of quarters? |
| [07:01.80] | By the way, I cut you out of all of my pictures. |
| [07:11.04] | That' s okay. |
| [07:13.18] | You could make little puppets out of them. |
| [07:17.05] | And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty! |
| [07:23.32] | We can' t do that! What? What can' t you do? |
| [07:31.36] | Can I talk to you for a second? Over there? |
| [07:41.04] | We might be leaving now. |
| [07:43.91] | Tell me it' s you and me " we." |
| [07:47.11] | She wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. |
| [07:51.35] | I' m not even sure what slathering is! |
| [07:54.59] | But I definitely want to be a part of it! |
| [07:58.59] | Okay, you cannot do this to me. |
| [08:02.73] | You' re right. I' m sorry. |
| [08:05.20] | Can we have three chocolate mousses to go? |
| [08:10.30] | I' m out of here. |
| [08:13.64] | Here' s my credit card. Dinner' s on me. |
| [08:17.41] | I hope she throws up on you. |
| [08:22.05] | Thanks. |
| [08:25.48] | So.... Just us. |
| [08:28.65] | What a crappy night! |
| [08:31.29] | I have enjoyed the fact... |
| [08:34.00] | ... that your shirt' s been sticking out of your zipper. |
| [08:43.70] | Excuse me. |
| [08:48.24] | How you doing? |
| [08:54.88] | So do we have the best friends, or what? |
| [08:58.62] | Joey' s not a friend. He' s... |
| [09:03.00] | ... a stupid man who left us his credit card. |
| [09:07.63] | Another drink? Dessert? A bigscreen TV? |
| [09:11.63] | I' ll have a drink. Got it. Good woman! |
| [09:20.74] | A bottle of overpriced champagne. Each. |
| [09:24.14] | That' s right, each. And a rob roy. |
| [09:28.15] | I' ve always wanted to know. |
| [09:48.07] | Happy Valentine' s Day! |
| [09:59.71] | Oh, I miss you already. |
| [10:03.81] | Can you believe this happened? No, no! |
| [10:08.59] | And yet it did. |
| [10:11.16] | Goodbye, Janice. kiss me! |
| [10:16.19] | Oh, Chandler. Sorry. |
| [10:18.60] | Oh, Chandler. Sorry! |
| [10:23.20] | Hey, Janice. Hi, Monica. |
| [10:25.67] | Well, this was very special. |
| [10:29.91] | Rach, come see who' s out here! |
| [10:33.14] | What' s going on? Oh, my God! |
| [10:36.35] | Janice! Hi! |
| [10:38.92] | Janice is gonna go away now! |
| [10:43.59] | I' ll be right back. |
| [10:46.79] | Joey! Look who it is! |
| [10:53.00] | Good. Joey' s home. |
| [10:54.77] | This is so much fun! |
| [10:57.37] | This is like a reunion in the hall! |
| [11:02.57] | Ross, there' s someone I want you to say hi to. |
| [11:08.01] | He happened to call. |
| [11:09.61] | Hi, Ross. That' s right, it' s me! How did you know? |
| [11:29.70] | So, if dogs experience jet lag... |
| [11:33.67] | ... because of the seven dog years to one human year thing... |
| [11:38.21] | ... when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles... |
| [11:41.78] | ... he doesn' t just lose three hours, he loses a week and a half. |
| [11:49.29] | That' s funny! |
| [11:59.56] | They should be cooking the food soon. |
| [12:02.60] | Oh, good. oh, |
| [12:14.11] | Who are they? |
| [12:15.68] | The blond is my exwife. The woman touching her is her... |
| [12:21.55] | ... close, personal friend. |
| [12:26.12] | They' re lovers? lf you want to put a label on it. |
| [12:33.63] | Anything else I should know? Nope. That' s it. |
| [12:38.04] | Oh, and she' s pregnant with my baby. |
| [12:44.31] | I always forget that part. |
| [12:48.58] | Hello! Hello! |
| [12:56.15] | Now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine. |
| [13:03.23] | All I had is oregano and a Fresca. |
| [13:06.63] | That' s okay! |
| [13:12.70] | Now we need the semen of a righteous man. |
| [13:22.25] | If we had that, we wouldn' t be doing the ritual in the first place. |
| [13:27.92] | Can we start throwing things in? Yeah, okay! |
| [13:35.19] | Okay. Barry' s letters. |
| [13:38.13] | Adam Ritter' s boxer shorts. |
| [13:49.11] | A picture of Scotty Jared naked! Let me see! |
| [13:52.84] | He' s wearing a sweater. No. |
| [14:01.09] | Whose MCl card is that? Mine. Shoot! |
| [14:04.26] | Remember this number: Nine, seven, four.... |
| [14:10.39] | Okay, and here we have the last of Paolo' s grappa. |
| [14:14.33] | Wait, isn' t it almost pure |
| [14:21.21] | How can I dump this woman on Valentine' s Day? |
| [14:25.21] | I don' t know. You dumped her on New Year' s. |
| [14:29.35] | In my next life, I' m coming back as a toilet brush. |
| [14:35.09] | Hello, funny valentine! |
| [14:38.69] | Hi, just Janice. |
| [14:41.39] | Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. |
| [14:44.50] | I could just kiss you all over, and I' m gonna. |
| [14:52.74] | If you don' t do it, I will. |
| [15:15.43] | So are you actually from New York? Not originally. I' m from |
| [15:21.13] | You said they' d shoot it without you. I thought they could. |
| [15:25.44] | The maxipads were a piece of cake. Minipads should be that much easier. |
| [15:31.54] | It' s Valentine' s Day. I know, but it' s my job. |
| [15:35.68] | I' ll try to get back as soon as I can. |
| [15:39.12] | I' m spending most of my time teaching science... |
| [15:42.42] | ... which is funny because that wasn' t even my major. |
| [15:58.34] | Now, that is funny! |
| [16:03.64] | Do you think it would be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? |
| [16:09.15] | Because she' s alone now. And pregnant. And sad. |
| [16:14.92] | I guess. Are you sure? Carol! |
| [16:19.06] | Wanna join us? No, I' m fine. |
| [16:22.09] | Come on. These people will scooch down. |
| [16:26.50] | You guys will scooch, won' t you? Let' s try scooching! Come on! |
| [16:32.10] | Come on. Thank you. |
| [16:36.51] | IKristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristen. |
| [16:40.91] | How do you do? Carol teaches sixth grade. |
| [16:45.08] | And Kristen.... |
| [16:50.69] | IKristen does something... |
| [16:54.56] | ... that, funnily enough... |
| [16:58.13] | ... wasn' t even her major! |
| [17:03.67] | Thanks for coming over. Not at all. It' s pretty much our job. |
| [17:08.37] | That' s why we get the cool hats. |
| [17:11.34] | What do we got there? A piece of sik boxer shorts. |
| [17:19.22] | A halfcharred picture of.... |
| [17:22.00] | That guy' s hairier than the chief! |
| [17:28.06] | It' s a really funny story how this happened. |
| [17:32.16] | I was taking out the trash, and Phoebe was burning incense |
| [17:37.67] | It' s all right. |
| [17:39.24] | This isn' t the first boyfriend bonfire we' ve seen get out of control. |
| [17:45.01] | Third one tonight. Really? |
| [17:47.54] | Valentine' s is our busiest night of the year. |
| [17:53.75] | Next time you' re burning your exboyfriend' s stuff: |
| [17:57.29] | One, do it in a wellventilated area. |
| [18:00.39] | Two, if you wanna burn his clothing, stay away from synthetic fabrics. |
| [18:05.76] | Three, try to let go of the anger, and learn to love yourself. |
| [18:13.54] | I brought you something. ls it loaded? |
| [18:20.84] | Oh, little candy hearts. " Chan and Jan Forever." |
| [18:27.52] | I had them made special. |
| [18:33.42] | Okay, Janice. ok, |
| [18:38.43] | Hey, Janice. |
| [18:42.83] | There' s no way to tell you this. |
| [18:45.34] | At least, there' s no new way. |
| [18:56.48] | That' s fine. |
| [19:01.59] | It is? It is? |
| [19:03.62] | Because I know that this isn' t the end. |
| [19:09.19] | You see, actually, it is. |
| [19:11.86] | No, because you won' t let that happen. |
| [19:14.90] | Don' t you know it yet? |
| [19:16.90] | You love me, Chandler Bing! |
| [19:24.04] | Oh, no, I don' t. |
| [19:26.31] | Why do we keep ending up together? New Year' s, who invited who? |
| [19:31.52] | Valentine' s, who asked who into bed? I did, but |
| [19:35.72] | You seek me out! |
| [19:37.49] | Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! |
| [19:42.73] | Janice! Janice! |
| [19:46.80] | You push me away, you pull me back! |
| [19:51.27] | You want me. You need me. |
| [19:54.04] | You can' t live without me. And you know it. |
| [19:59.34] | You just don' t know you know it. |
| [20:07.78] | See? |
| [20:15.69] | Call me! |
| [20:25.54] | It' s not true. I never called your mother a wolverine. |
| [20:29.81] | You did so, I swear to |
| [20:36.18] | How long has she been in the bathroom? |
| [20:39.52] | She isn' t in the bathroom. Her coat' s gone. |
| [20:42.92] | Well, maybe it' s cold in there. |
| [20:47.42] | I screwed up my first date in nine years. |
| [20:50.86] | That could be it. Oh, God. |
| [20:54.63] | You know, this is still pretty hot. |
| [21:01.74] | Mushroom. |
| [21:04.34] | Smile. |
| [21:06.61] | They won' t all be like this. Some might stay through dinner. |
| [21:11.35] | I' m sorry. That' s not funny. It' s just.... |
| [21:14.75] | You know the whole " get on with your life" thing? |
| [21:18.52] | Well, do I have to? |
| [21:21.02] | I' m sitting here with this cute woman... |
| [21:26.10] | ... and she' s perfectly nice, but that... |
| [21:31.57] | ... that' s it. |
| [21:33.74] | Then I' m here talking to you, and it' s easy and it' s fun. |
| [21:38.94] | And I don' t have to.... |
| [21:41.78] | I know. You know? |
| [21:47.48] | Here' s a wacky thought. |
| [21:50.82] | Let' s say you and I give it another shot. |
| [21:54.69] | I know what you' re gonna say. You' re a lesbian. |
| [21:59.30] | But what do you say we just put that aside for now. |
| [22:04.40] | Let' s just stick a pin in it. |
| [22:07.27] | Because we' re great together. You can' t deny it. |
| [22:13.54] | I' ve got a ring at home that fits you. |
| [22:17.68] | I' ve got lots of pictures with both of us in them. |
| [22:22.72] | And best of all, you' re carrying my baby. |
| [22:27.12] | I mean, how perfect is that? Ross |
| [22:30.00] | You keep saying that, but there' s something right here. I love you. |
| [22:42.47] | I love you too. |
| [22:45.88] | But No " but." |
| [22:49.51] | You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it? |
| [22:55.69] | It' s time to take the pin out. |
| [23:04.80] | You' ll find someone. The right woman is waiting for you. |
| [23:14.30] | All you need is a woman who likes men, and you' ll be set. |
| [23:21.41] | Not her. |
| [23:35.29] | So, you guys really slide down a pole? |
| [23:41.87] | Absolutely. That' s so cool. |
| [23:46.57] | How do you get back up? |
| [23:51.01] | Well, we rarely have to return from a fire as quickly. |
| [23:58.68] | So, would you guys.... |
| [24:01.52] | Would you like to, sometime, maybe.... |
| [24:06.59] | Go for a drink sometime? |
| [24:08.76] | Sure, sounds good. |
| [24:10.33] | We get off at midnight. We' ll pick you up then. |
| [24:13.86] | Okay. Great! |
| [24:16.50] | So will you bring the truck? |
| [24:21.57] | I' ll even let you ring the bell. |
| [24:24.37] | We' ll see you later. Bye! See you later! |
| [24:29.38] | Oh, my God! |
| [24:31.82] | See? There you go. The cleansing worked. |
| [24:34.79] | You' re right. They' re nice guys! |
| [24:38.02] | They' re firemen guys! |
| [24:42.06] | Tell them you' re married? No. My girlfriend doesn' t even know. |
| [00:02.31] | 告诉你吧,罗斯,她要你 |
| [00:04.55] | 我们只是住在同一栋公寓 |
| [00:07.59] | 有过任何接触? -她借过我一颗蛋 |
| [00:10.12] | 有机会了 -真的 |
| [00:14.69] | 嗨,罗斯 |
| [00:22.07] | 拜托,你得再接再厉 |
| [00:25.00] | 你和瑞秋的事没指望 你前妻是个女同志 |
| [00:30.01] | 我们不想有第三回 |
| [00:32.41] | 抱歉,能给我们个蛋吗?整颗蛋? |
| [00:35.78] | 蛋? |
| [00:37.-4] | 对,你拿这颗蛋去还她 |
| [00:42.39] | 我们赢定了 |
| [00:45.-3] | 拜托,这太离谱了 -她会喜欢的 |
| [00:48.56] | 谢谢 -谢谢,给 |
| [00:54.50] | 朋友,带着蛋去 |
| [00:58.77] | 快去 |
| [01:03.14] | 你想会成功吗? -才怪,这简直是**.带蛋的男人 |
| [01:07.21] | 六人行 第1季 第14集 情人节糖果 |
| [01:56.56] | 你不能这样做 -做什么? |
| [01:58.93] | 罗杰明天要带她出去 -不,菲比难道你忘了为何抛弃他? |
| [02:04.40] | 因为他惹人厌 |
| [02:07.01] | 卑鄙又可怖 |
| [02:09.11] | 但情人节有人共渡也不差 |
| [02:14.25] | 其他任何一夜跟他约会都无所谓 |
| [02:17.48] | 我知道我会这么做 |
| [02:22.19] | 你们明晚有何节目? -明天有何节目全看今天的表现 |
| [02:27.63] | 关于今晚 -你不能背叛我 |
| [02:31.-3] | 我答应为她朋友带一位男伴 |
| [02:34.73] | 我知道,但她朋友好像是个… -可怜虫,我知道 |
| [02:39.60] | 但她是如此渴望如此脆弱 |
| [02:42.44] | 我想. |
| [02:48.91] | 谢谢 |
| [02:50.88] | 你和珍妮丝之后就没约过会 你一定要去 |
| [02:57.82] | 她答应了 -干得好 |
| [03:02.83] | 蛋还在?. -对 |
| [03:18.31] | 我的样子如何? |
| [03:20.78] | 不关我的事 |
| [03:26.18] | 萝拉妮来了 |
| [03:28.45] | 切记,不准交换 你有美女相伴,我有**作陪 |
| [03:32.32] | 乔依 |
| [03:36.79] | 瞧你带什么人来 |
| [03:40.47] | 真帅 |
| [03:42.90] | 你带谁来? |
| [03:46.54] | 她在放外套 |
| [03:48.57] | 我去洗掉手上的出租车味 |
| [03:52.14] | 你帮我和珍妮丝点萄葡酒和红酒 |
| [04:00.79] | 珍妮丝… |
| [04:03.79] | 珍妮丝… |
| [04:06.56] | 哦… |
| [04:07.89] | 我的… |
| [04:09.49] | 天哪! |
| [04:14.70] | 是珍妮丝 |
| [04:23.07] | 我得逃了,我要从窗子爬出去 |
| [04:25.78] | 我一直梦想与萝拉妮约会 |
| [04:30.65] | 冷静点.. -冷静? |
| [04:33.08] | 你竟撮合我与在五个月内 被我甩掉两次的女人 |
| [04:38.46] | 别这么大声行吗?你害我紧张得… |
| [04:45.20] | 我一紧张就尿不出来 |
| [04:48.03] | 抱歉,你说得对 |
| [04:54.07] | 拜托!快点 |
| [04:59.01] | 罗杰虽讨人厌 但与彼得卡尼相较还差得远呢 |
| [05:03.01] | 谁? -爱哭鬼彼德 |
| [05:05.22] | 我们每次**他就哭 |
| [05:09.25] | 你满足吗? |
| [05:14.-3] | 我每天都想为霍尔那个家伙哭 |
| [05:18.43] | 我赢!我赢!” |
| [05:21.87] | 我和他约会两个月一次都没赢过 |
| [05:25.94] | 我们怎会和这些浑蛋在一起? |
| [05:29.61] | 我们可是良家妇女 |
| [05:32.64] | 我知道我有 所以我不能戴电子表 |
| [05:39.22] | 还有啤酒? |
| [05:44.29] | 记得我那剃光头的朋友艾比? |
| [05:47.46] | 不 |
| [05:48.63] | 我那剃光头的朋友 |
| [05:52.03] | 她说想要停止与恶男交往的恶性循环 |
| [05:55.17] | 可以举行一个清理仪式 |
| [06:00.07] | 菲比,她是个大秃头 |
| [06:05.24] | 是的 |
| [06:07.18] | 我们明晚可以试试看 |
| [06:10.01] | 明天情人节是绝佳的时刻 |
| [06:12.42] | 什么仪式? |
| [06:14.82] | 我们可以烧掉他们送的东西 |
| [06:19.79] | 或者是? |
| [06:21.53] | 或是念经,拿着权杖**跳舞 |
| [06:29.63] | 还是烧东西好 |
| [06:41.11] | 知道吗 |
| [06:42.88] | 我从儿时就能用脚趾夹起25美分 |
| [06:47.59] | 是吗?真厉害 |
| [06:53.16] | 硬币还是**? |
| [07:01.80] | 对了,钱德我把照片上的你都剪掉了 |
| [07:06.-2] | 如果需要,我有一袋你的头 |
| [07:11.04] | 不用了 |
| [07:13.18] | 你可以用它们做傀儡 |
| [07:17.05] | 也可以在你的“残酷戏院”中用它们! |
| [07:23.32] | 不能这么做 -什么?不能做什么? |
| [07:31.36] | 能过去和你谈谈吗? |
| [07:41.04] | 我们得先离开 |
| [07:43.91] | 告诉我“我们”是指你和我 |
| [07:47.11] | 她说她要在我身上涂满东西 然后舔乾净 |
| [07:51.35] | 我甚至不知道涂是什么意思 |
| [07:54.59] | 但我绝对不想错过任何部分! |
| [07:58.59] | 你不能这样待我 |
| [08:02.73] | 你说得对,抱歉 |
| [08:05.20] | 三份巧克力慕斯外带 |
| [08:10.30] | 我走了 |
| [08:13.64] | 这是我的信用卡,这一顿算我的 |
| [08:17.41] | 我希望把她扔在你身上 |
| [08:22.05] | 谢谢 |
| [08:25.48] | 只剩下我们 |
| [08:28.65] | 真是糟糕的一夜 |
| [08:31.29] | 但我还是一直欣赏 |
| [08:34.00] | 你拉链里的衣服 |
| [08:43.70] | 抱歉 |
| [08:48.24] | 近来可好? |
| [08:54.88] | 他们是我们最要好的朋友? |
| [08:58.62] | 乔伊哪儿称得上是朋友,他… |
| [09:03.00] | 他这留下信用卡的笨蛋 |
| [09:07.63] | 想再来一杯?甜点?大银幕电视? |
| [09:11.63] | 我想再来一杯 -没问题,好女人 |
| [09:20.74] | 拿瓶最贵的香槟来 -每人一瓶 |
| [09:24.14] | 对,再每人各一瓶罗伯罗伊 |
| [09:28.15] | 我老早就想品尝了 |
| [09:48.07] | 情人节快乐 |
| [09:59.71] | 我现在就开始想念你了 |
| [10:03.81] | 你能相信会发生这种事吗? -不能 |
| [10:08.59] | 但还是发生了 |
| [10:11.16] | 再见,珍妮丝 -吻我 |
| [10:16.19] | 钱德,抱歉 |
| [10:18.60] | 钱德,抱歉 |
| [10:23.20] | 珍妮丝 -摩尼卡 |
| [10:25.67] | 真是太特别了 |
| [10:29.91] | 瑞秋,看谁来了 |
| [10:33.14] | 怎么了?天啊 |
| [10:36.35] | 珍妮丝!Hi! |
| [10:38.92] | 她就要走了 |
| [10:43.59] | 我马上回来 |
| [10:46.79] | 乔伊,看谁来了 |
| [10:53.00] | 很好,乔伊回来了 |
| [10:54.77] | 这真是太好玩了 |
| [10:57.37] | 好像是大团圆一样 |
| [11:02.57] | 罗斯,对,跟某人打个招呼吧 |
| [11:08.01] | 他恰好打电话来 |
| [11:09.61] | 罗斯,对,是我.你怎么会知道? |
| [11:29.70] | 我是说会如果狗也有时差问题 |
| [11:33.67] | 因为狗的七年等于人的一年 |
| [11:38.21] | 那么狗从纽约飞到洛杉矶 |
| [11:41.78] | 损失的不是三小时,而是十天 |
| [11:49.29] | 真好笑 |
| [11:59.56] | 他们应该马上就做饭了 |
| [12:02.60] | 好的 |
| [12:14.11] | 她们是谁? |
| [12:15.68] | 金发的是我前妻,碰她的是她的 |
| [12:21.55] | 密友 |
| [12:26.12] | 你是指她们是情人? -如果你硬要这么说的话 |
| [12:33.63] | 我还需要知道什么? -不,就这些了 |
| [12:38.04] | 对了,她怀了我的孩子 |
| [12:44.31] | 我总是忘了这件事 |
| [12:48.58] | |
| [12:56.15] | 我们需要鼠尾草和沙加缅度酒 |
| [13:03.23] | 我只有牛至叶和佛瑞斯加 |
| [13:06.63] | 那样也行 |
| [13:12.70] | 现在我们需要正义男子的** |
| [13:22.25] | 菲比,如果我们有 现在就无需进行仪式了 |
| [13:27.92] | 可以丢东西了吗? -可以了 |
| [13:35.19] | 巴瑞的信 |
| [13:38.13] | 亚当瑞塔的四角裤 |
| [13:41.-2] | 晚餐的收据 |
| [13:49.11] | 这是史考帝的**照片 -让我看看! |
| [13:52.84] | 他穿着毛衣 -没有 |
| [14:01.09] | 这是谁的MCl卡? -我的.咻! |
| [14:04.26] | 赶紧记住号码:9,7,4…. |
| [14:10.39] | 最后这是保罗的格拉** |
| [14:14.33] | 等等,这不是几乎纯… |
| [14:21.21] | 我怎能在情人节甩掉她 |
| [14:25.21] | 天晓得,但你在新年甩掉她 |
| [14:29.35] | 下辈子我要当马桶刷 |
| [14:35.09] | 有趣的情人 |
| [14:38.69] | 珍妮丝 |
| [14:41.39] | 乔伊,我们的小媒婆 |
| [14:44.50] | 我忍不住想吻你 |
| [14:52.74] | 如果你不敢,就让我来开口 |
| [15:15.43] | 你真的从纽约来的? -本来不是,我从 |
| [15:21.13] | 你说他们可以自己做 -我以为他们可以 |
| [15:25.44] | 最大版都是小菜一碟 最小版当然是更简单一些了啊 |
| [15:31.54] | 但现在是情人节 我知道,但这是我的工作 |
| [15:35.68] | 我会尽量赶回来,抱歉 |
| [15:39.12] | 但我大部分时间都在教科学 |
| [15:42.42] | 真好笑,我又不是主修科学 |
| [15:58.34] | 真好笑 |
| [16:03.64] | 我邀卡萝过来会很奇怪吗? |
| [16:09.15] | 因为她现在一个人,怀孕了,心情又不好 |
| [16:14.92] | 大概吧 -你确定?卡萝! |
| [16:19.06] | 愿意过来坐吗? -不,我没事 |
| [16:22.09] | 来吧,这些人会挪过去的 |
| [16:26.50] | 你们会挪过去的,对吧? 各位挪过去好吗,动起来 |
| [16:32.10] | 拜托 -谢谢 |
| [16:36.51] | 克莉丝汀,这位是卡萝 卡萝,克莉丝汀 |
| [16:40.91] | 你好 -卡萝教六年级 |
| [16:45.08] | 克莉丝汀… |
| [16:50.69] | 克莉丝汀… |
| [16:54.56] | 最好笑的是 |
| [16:58.13] | 是她的工作不是她的主修 |
| [17:03.67] | 谢谢你们能来 -没关系.这是我们的工作 |
| [17:08.37] | 这就是我们为什么戴这么酷的帽子啊 |
| [17:11.34] | 里面有什么东西? 一些真丝四角** |
| [17:16.-1] | 问候卡 |
| [17:19.22] | 烧焦的照片 |
| [17:22.00] | 这家伙的体毛比队长的还浓密 |
| [17:28.06] | 这件事说来好笑 |
| [17:32.16] | 我拿出垃圾桶,菲比点燃熏香 |
| [17:37.67] | 没关系.你们不用解释 |
| [17:39.24] | 这不是第一件烧毁男友物品失控的事件了 |
| [17:45.01] | 这已是今晚的第三件 -真的? |
| [17:47.54] | 情人节之夜是我们最忙的时刻 |
| [17:53.75] | 下一次烧你们前男友的东西时: |
| [17:57.29] | 第一,在一个通风好的地方 |
| [18:00.39] | 第二,如果你们要烧衣服,小心合成纤维的 |
| [18:05.76] | 第三,试着放掉你们的怒气 学会爱护自己啊 |
| [18:13.54] | 我带了东西给你 -装上**了没? |
| [18:20.84] | 心型糖果“钱德与珍尼丝,永远” |
| [18:27.52] | 我订做的 |
| [18:33.42] | 珍妮丝… |
| [18:38.43] | 嗨,珍妮丝… |
| [18:42.83] | 我不该告诉你 |
| [18:45.34] | 至少没有别的方法来告诉你 |
| [18:51.-2] | 我觉得我们不会结果 |
| [18:56.48] | 无所谓 |
| [19:01.59] | 是吗? |
| [19:03.62] | 因为我知道我们还没结束 |
| [19:09.19] | 事实上已经结束了 |
| [19:11.86] | 不,还没因为你不会让它发生的 |
| [19:14.90] | 难道你还不懂? |
| [19:16.90] | 你爱我,钱德.宾 |
| [19:24.04] | 不,我不爱 |
| [19:26.31] | 那么就扪心自问,我们为何总是会复合? 新年是谁邀谁? |
| [19:31.52] | 情人节是谁邀谁上床? -是我,可是… |
| [19:35.72] | 我是你寻找的对象 |
| [19:37.49] | 你的内心深处不断呼喊着我 |
| [19:42.73] | 珍妮丝…珍妮丝… |
| [19:46.80] | 你推开我,你拉回我! |
| [19:51.27] | 你要我,你需要我 |
| [19:54.04] | 你不能没有我.你知道 |
| [19:59.34] | 你只是不知道你知道罢了 |
| [20:07.78] | 明白吗? |
| [20:15.69] | 打电话给我 |
| [20:25.54] | 这不是真的.我没说**是狼人 |
| [20:29.81] | 你有,我发誓 |
| [20:36.18] | 她上洗手间多久了? |
| [20:39.52] | 我想她不是去上洗手间,她的外套不见了 |
| [20:42.92] | 或许是太冷吧 |
| [20:47.42] | 或许我搞砸了九年来的第一次约会 |
| [20:50.86] | 有可能 -天哪 |
| [20:54.63] | 知道吗,这里还是很热 |
| [21:01.74] | 磨菇 |
| [21:04.34] | 微笑 |
| [21:06.61] | 不会每次都这样的 还是有些女人会把晚餐吃完的 |
| [21:11.35] | 抱歉,不好笑 -只是 |
| [21:14.75] | 人们老说要继续你的人生 |
| [21:18.52] | 我必须吗? |
| [21:21.02] | 我和这位美女坐在这儿 |
| [21:26.10] | 她是那么好 |
| [21:31.57] | 但就这么吹了 |
| [21:33.74] | 我现在又和你聊天,轻松又自在 |
| [21:38.94] | 我何必… |
| [21:41.78] | 我懂 -你懂? |
| [21:47.48] | 我有个疯狂的念头 |
| [21:50.82] | 我们再试一次好吗? |
| [21:54.69] | 我知道你要说你是个女同志 |
| [21:59.30] | 但何不暂时将它摆在一旁 |
| [22:04.40] | 完全不去想它 |
| [22:07.27] | 因为我们在一起很开心 这不容你否认 |
| [22:13.54] | 我有一个适合你的戒指 |
| [22:17.68] | 我有无数我俩一起的照片 |
| [22:22.72] | 最美妙的地方是,你怀着我的孩子 |
| [22:27.12] | 这样不是很完美吗? -罗斯 |
| [22:30.00] | 虽然你一直回绝, 但我仍然想对你说,我爱你 |
| [22:42.47] | 我也爱你 |
| [22:45.88] | 但是 -不要但是 |
| [22:49.51] | 你要知道,暂时拦置一旁的事 |
| [22:55.69] | 迟早会浮现的 |
| [23:04.80] | 你会找到对象的,合适的女人正在等着你 |
| [23:09.-2] | 你说得倒是轻松,你已找到合适的女人 |
| [23:14.30] | 你只需找到爱男人的女人即可 |
| [23:21.41] | 不是她 |
| [23:35.29] | 你们真的从一个柱子上滑下去? |
| [23:41.87] | 绝对的 -太酷了 |
| [23:46.57] | 那你们怎么回上面的呢? |
| [23:51.01] | 我们很少需要像着火一样急的往上去 |
| [23:58.68] | 你们这些小伙… |
| [24:01.52] | 你们愿意,有时,可能… |
| [24:06.59] | 有时一起出去喝一杯 |
| [24:08.76] | 当然,听起来不错 |
| [24:10.33] | 我们午夜下班之后,来找你们可以吗? |
| [24:13.86] | 好啊,太好了 |
| [24:16.50] | 你们会开消防车过来吗? |
| [24:21.57] | 还会让你们拉警铃 |
| [24:24.37] | 再见了…晚安,再见… |
| [24:29.38] | 天啊 |
| [24:31.82] | 看到没有?清理仪式奏效了 |
| [24:34.79] | 没错,他们是好男人 |
| [24:38.02] | 他们是消防队员 |
| [24:42.06] | 你们有告诉她们你们已婚吗? -当然没有,连我女友都不知道 |
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